A/N:
I love that through procrastination, we suddenly gain the capability
to do all those things that we have been putting off for a while,
just in order to avoid a certain task. In my case, I'm avoiding an
essay due for college, in my avoidance I have managed to finish this
one-shot, write another
chapter for Just Two Fools, which I haven't been able to do for
literally months! And I've been generally more organised. The only
thing is, I am still yet to complete my essay. Ah well XD
Let me
know what you think to the ending of this one guys, I think I may
have lost focus towards the last couple of hundred words or
so.
Thanks as always to all the wonderful reviewers.
Much love
Xx
DISCLAIMER: I do not own We Will Rock You, or the characters, nor do I own (though by golly I wish I did) the song It's Good To See You Again, by Scott Alan.
They'd shouted. Of course they had. What more had I expected? Our first real gig in two years and I'd dropped out. What was I thinking? They'd asked me the exact same question and I'd just stood there, my head dropped low, my palm brushing across the back of my neck nervously. I'd lied at first, told them that I wasn't feeling too great, that I'd spent the past twenty minutes with my head bent over the toilet bowl.
"S'just nerves dude," they reassured me, "Bit of stage fright never hurt anyone, if anything you'll get out there and it'll make you rock harder."
I'd shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, desperately trying to think of another reason to get out of it. "My chest is so tight, I can't sing… my throat is in agony-", I reeled off my ailments, one excuse at a time. It wasn't until Meat had walked in, interrupting me with a simple sentence that seemed to break every person in the room.
"Just tell them Galileo, you're dropping out because Scaramouche is waiting in your bedroom for you." Her eyes caught mine, filled with disappointment and sadness. I knew she didn't understand how hard it was for me.
The others had stared at me in disbelief. "That's why?"
I gave a small nod and turned my back on them, walking away my bare feet shuffling against the cold platform floor.
I was now halfway up the stairs that led to my room, my heart thudded in my chest, a sudden surge of fright coming across me. I hadn't slept beside Scaramouche in two years, the prospect of it made my stomach turn, just like it had the first night in the van. After all this time, how did she still make me this way? I clenched my hands, my palms already sweating and walked on, determined not to show her how she was making me feel.
Pulling the curtain across my door aside, I peered through the doorway and smiled. Scaramouche was sat cross legged on my mattress; my blankets wrapped around her and pulled up to her cheek like a giant comforter. She brushed the corner of them across her cheeks, her gaze firmly fixed on the crumbling wall ahead of her, her lips slightly parted in thought.
She didn't turn to face me but she had sensed I was there. "Meat knows I'm here." She told me blankly, "I don't think she was too happy to see me, she just ignored me and stomped away."
"I know." I walked into the room and sat behind her, my legs on either side of her body and my arms wrapping themselves around her thin waist underneath the blanket. "It'll be fine, she'll forget about it in a couple of weeks." I kissed her neck and brought my hand up to move her hair behind her ear.
"I was really nervous to come back up here." I told her, stroking my thumb across her cheek and kissing where I'd just touched. "I figured I'd just be overcome with butterflies and not be able to talk to you properly."
The apple of her cheek rose as she smiled. "I still give you butterflies?"
I laughed and pulled her closer towards me, resting my chin on her shoulder. I didn't want to answer her question. The truth was that the butterflies were no longer there; maybe it had been so long since being with her they'd all just flown away? Or maybe I was so comfortable with her in my arms; there was no need for nerves.
"Since you're here, I think we should talk about things Scaramouche…" I stroked my hand across her flat stomach. I felt it sink beneath my fingers as she sighed. "I know it's not the best time… but it's been two years, surely we've both grown up enough to put things behind us. We can't just stay angry at each other for the rest of our lives."
She shook her head, "I'm not angry at you Gaz'." I wasn't sure if I believed her, but her tone of voice was so light that she sounded almost convincing. She exhaled quickly through her mouth, blowing her long fringe up in the air and out of her vision for a brief moment.
I laid backwards, propping my hands behind my head and closing my eyes for a brief second, it felt so good to have her back, I was so comfortable it was as if she'd never even gone. I opened my eyes to find her watching me with curiosity.
"What are you smiling for?" she asked inquisitively.
"No reason," I told her, smiling again, "I'm just happy that you're here." I pushed at her side playfully with my foot, her lack of energy evident as she flopped down onto her right side with a giggle. It was a rare thing to get a sincere laugh from Scaramouche, but a wonderful thing when you heard it.
"So what do you want to do?" I asked her, pinching softly at her hip with my thumb and fingers. She pushed herself up from her side and crawled back into my lap, her bottom lip poking out in a pout and her eyes wide. She wrapped her thin arms around me and clung to me, her head resting on my chest. I wanted to hug her back, squeeze her tightly- but she was so fragile these days, a part of me was worried I'd break her. She shrugged in reply to my question and nestled her head into my collar bone, her nose cold against my bare skin.
"Would you like me to stroke your hair until you fall asleep?" I asked her, running a hand across the back of her head. She nodded and I obliged. It was just how it used to be. We'd lain in the same position the night before she'd left, my hand moving back and forth over her silky mass of magenta hair as she fell into a deep sleep, showing no signs that the next day she'd be gone without so much as a goodbye.
"Scaramouche?" I pushed her fringe back from her face and watched her forehead crease into a frown.
"Hmm?" she answered me softly as though she'd just awoken, though I knew she had been yet to fall asleep.
"Why did you leave?"
I kept my eyes shut and scrunched up my nose, giving an incoherent mumble in the hopes that he'd drop the subject. Just a few seconds ago I'd been comfortably lying with him in silence; actually considering whether maybe I should just come back, deal with the mundane and dull days being stuck underground. I gave a soft grumble and fidgeted. Even the prospect of it made my entire body give a groan of boredom.
"Scaramouche?" he shifted his legs from underneath me so that I had no choice but to sit up.
"Mm?" I sat up with a frown and pushed by hair backwards. It appeared he wasn't going to drop the subject. His face full of perplexity he stared down at me waiting for an answer. "I uhm-", I couldn't answer. I chewed my lip and gave an awkward shrug. He wasn't buying it.
"Scaramouche, if we're going to at least try and get past this, I need to know why you left. Then I won't make the same mistake again." His eyes searched me for an answer.
"I was just… bored…" I muttered, turning away from him so that I didn't have to see his reaction.
"Of me?" there was an element of pain in his response.
I had been bored of him, but that hadn't been all. I'd gotten bored of the entire Bohemian lifestyle. We constantly bragged that the way we lived was so much more interesting than the clones. That we were individuals and did what we wanted, but the truth was we were just as scheduled as they were. We did the same thing every single day at the same time. We were constantly searching for something that didn't want to be found and always facing the daily challenge of getting by without being arrested. I'd become bored of being a Bohemian and the fact that my boyfriend was the leader of them all only bored me even more.
I could have shouted it all at him, maybe then the message would have gotten through, but part of me just couldn't bear to fight. So instead of telling him the truth, I looked down at my feet and pulled at a thread poking out the leg of my sock.
"Not… of you… just…" I leant across and kissed him on the end of his nose. "Let's not talk about this today?" I offered him a lopsided smile. For a moment he looked like he wasn't going to take that as an answer so I added, "Galileo, I've had a lot to deal with today, don't make me think about this as well." I was ashamed with myself for pulling that card, my Dad's funeral as an excuse to cover the fact I was a wimp and couldn't just tell him the truth.
He nodded. "I'm sorry."
"I know." I wanted to kick myself. I'd managed to turn it so that he was apologising to me for my awful actions, I felt worse than ever. What sort of a person had I turned into?
I laid back down and enveloped my arms around my aching chest. That awful pain that had been lurking since I'd been called with the news wasn't going anywhere. It was strange, I'd always been told that when you lost someone, you felt empty- but that wasn't what I was feeling. The space underneath my ribs felt as though it were carrying all the weight in the world and might just combust any moment, perhaps my heart really had broken?
I looked up at Galileo, my eyes glistening with tears from the pain. "Why does it hurt so badly?" I asked him meekly.
"I'm sorry." He told me again, lying behind me and kissing the back of my neck. "I wish I could make it better." I knew he meant it. If he could he'd have done anything for me. Maybe that was another reason he'd bored me, he was so predictable.
I scrunched my eyes tightly together. Pressing my body backwards into his I desperately tried to block everything out and imagine myself back to the night in the van, but everything felt so wrong. As I linked my fingers with his, I felt how they no longer resembled the teenager's hand that I had once held so dotingly.
Turning around to face him I moved my head towards his and placed my hand flat on the top of his chest. He brushed his lips across mine, making me push forwards for a more passionate kiss. As our mouths parted I bit at his bottom lip as I always had done and felt him smile, but as we continued to kiss I realised something wasn't right. Had he always kissed this way? It didn't feel like it. Who had he been kissing over the two years to make his mouth feel so foreign to me? I pulled away, giving him one last brief peck and pressed my forehead against his.
"Goodnight, Galileo Figaro." I whispered, rolling over onto my back.
"I love you." He told me, before the tell-tale sounds of his breathing told me he'd fallen asleep. He had always been a heavy sleeper; it had driven me insane when we were together. Within minutes of his head hitting the pillow he was out for the count and there was no waking him once he was gone. It was no wonder he had so many dreams!
I gave it a little while, just to make sure he really was in a heavy sleep and then pushed the blankets back, tucking them underneath him. It was ironic, I was doing such an awful thing to him, but in the process I was still worried about him getting cold during the night! I kissed him tenderly on the forehead and watched his eyes flicker rapidly underneath his lids.
"I'm sorry," I murmured, pulling up my socks and buckling up my shoes. As I crept out of his room I heard him roll over, but a loud snore ensured me that he was still sound asleep.
Treading the same path that I had two years ago, my heart thudded in my already pained chest. I was an awful person. Though I knew that if I didn't leave tonight, I would have done it a few days, weeks or even months later. The sooner I did it, the better.
As I quickened my pace, I was glad that this time the Bohemians weren't around to catch me out. Meat had seen me leave last time, begged me not to go and even tried to physically stop me. At least this time they were all at the gig.
As I hit the surface, I gulped in the fresh night air. Instead of making me feel better it only fed my guilt more, making my stomach flip uncomfortably. A babble of voices made me turn my head. What awful timing. The Bohemians were returning home. I knew I couldn't stop now, putting my head downwards I walked on, feeling their eyes catch sight of me. None of them spoke, but their silence made me feel even more awkward. Just as I had passed them I heard Meat turn to one of the others.
"What did I tell you?" though she intended to sound smug in her remark, her voice shook with a disappointment that made me feel like a scolded child.
I turned around and shouted after them, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" but nobody replied, they simply turned and watched me as I walked on into the night.
