The next four months were horrible. I never slept a complete night without waking up in a cold sweat.
It was exactly four months and 7 days later that I ran into Bella. Her grandfather had a heart attack and Bella was with him.
"Good afternoon Mrs. Cullen." I said checking Elijah Swan's charts.
"Good afternoon Dr. Cullen." She said quietly, her eyes flickering to me before resting on her grandfather's face.
"Your grandfather is doing fine at the moment." I said placing the chart back in its spot and checking his vitals.
She smiled.
After that encounter she was at the hospital for the better part of the day.
Sometimes she would be working on her laptop or reading when I came in to check on her grandfather.
She did fall asleep a few times on the lumpy sofa's in his room and I usually took her to my office where there was a daybed and let her sleep there and take the couch in my room.
It kept going that way until 2 weeks after her grandfather was admitted. His condition was taking a turn for the worse since this morning.
"Bella" I said softly.
She looked at me.
Though she knew nothing about his condition she could sense something was wrong. "He's taken a turn for the worse." I stated bluntly.
She looked down and nodded.
"I expected that, he always wanted to die since my grandmother passed away." She said softly.
"I'm sorry" I said not really knowing what to say.
She looked up and smiled at me with her eyes filled with tears yet not a single one fell. She hadn't shed a single tear since a year ago.
Elijah Swan passed away at 7 in the morning the following day.
We had just gotten his body out of the room and when I returned Bella was sitting in the chair she sat in for past 2 weeks staring at nothing in particular.
I placed a hand on her shoulder and the same tingle flowed through my veins.
She looked at my hand then at my face.
Her eyes had tears and finally one spilt over.
With that first tear the others followed.
I picked her up and settled into the chair placing her in my lap as she cried into my chest. Her sobs wracked her delicate frame and I could feel her tears seep into my scrubs but I couldn't think of that now.
All I could think of was comforting my wife in her time of need though I was selfish.
I wanted to hold her and keep her there.
That's when I realized I still loved her.
I loved her and for some stupid reason we fought and things escalated to the point where I was clouded by anger and wanted to divorce her.
I mentally kicked myself though I needed more than a good kicking.
I wanted her to hate me though if anything she said in the lawyer's office was true I was sure that wasn't the case.
I rubbed her back and buried my face in her hair. Her tiny hands clung to my shirt as she sobbed.
Too soon for my liking she composed her self.
Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. There were tear streaks running down her red face. She was beautiful.
"Sorry" she said attempting to climb off my lap but I tightened my hold on her which forced her to look at me.
"Don't be sorry, if you need me I'm here" I said and she smiled softly and this one did reach her eyes, but not to the full extent.
"Thank you" she said and attempted once again to get off my lap and I let her.
After that incident I never saw her at the hospital and the weight in my chest that prevented me from breathing properly was back.
The antidote to that weight was Bella.
I decided to stop by her grandfather's house after the third day.
When she opened the door she was in one of my shirts that she took after the first time we made love as a married couple and a pair of sweatpants.
My favorite outfit.
I internally groaned at the sight.
Usually I would take her right there but I didn't have that obligation nor the right to do that anymore.
"Can I come in?" I asked. She nodded minutely and opened the door wider so I could come in.
When I walked in there were boxes that were full and empty littered around the floor.
I raised an eyebrow and she answered the unspoken question.
"It's for my grandfather's funeral. I'm selling a few antiques and selling the house after wards. The things are going to storage."
"Why? Didn't you use the money from the bank account?" I asked.
"I'm about 500 short." She said looking down at her feet.
I lifted her face up by her chin forcing her to look into my eyes.
"What about the joint account?" I asked.
She looked away from me.
"I couldn't take that money, most of it is yours and that's not fair to you" she said.
"It's a joint account for a reason Bella; I want you to take that money." I said forcefully. She shook her head and stepped out of my grasp packing more boxes.
"If I take it then I'll have to pay you back, Edward I can't do that in the near future." She said.
I pulled her away from the box by the arm and turned her to face me.
"Bella where did you get the idea that you have to pay me back, you know better than anyone that I don't need that." I said as my grip on her arm loosened to wrap around her back.
She shook her head again and looked at me with tears in her eyes.
"Edward you know that in 2 months we're going to be two individuals, different individuals with different lives." She whispered.
I nodded just to appease her and silently left her house.
I knew what I had to do.
That night I called our lawyer and arranged a meeting for the next day.