A/N Own Nothing, Thanks to my loyal reviewers. Enjoy
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Chapter 9: Running Away
Willy was true to his word and helped me get through each day. I stayed as far as possible away from the Buckets, with the exception of Charlie. As the first week wore on, I just began to get really antsy. I was snapping at Willy left and right. I was really surprised when he didn't get offended by any of it. I really could not stand the little man they kept bringing in to check on me. He was really creeping me out. He was also making me eat a lot which was starting to make me feel sick. I could handle over eating once to kind of stock up, but not every single meal. Eventually he stopped when I started bringing it all back up.
The end of my first clean week was the absolute worst. I needed to get out of the factory. I spent most of my time hyperventilating and feeling like the walls were closing in on me. I have no clue how Willy could have spent all those years locked away in here. It was making me nuts. I just needed to get out. I ran out of my room and headed towards the entrance and ran right in Willy knocking him over.
"Where are you going?" Willy looked at me and seemed very concerned. I was shaking and stuttering a bit.
"I need to get out of this place. I just need to go outside. I can't stand it anymore." I ran out the door and through the side gate. I don't really know how long I ran for, but before I knew it I was back at my old hangout spot. I looked around seeing people I really hoped to never see again. I was glad I actually had some money on me. I went to the bar and ordered myself something strong. I just needed to relax.
I barely noticed my old friend, Jay, sit beside me. If I had to call anyone I knew a best friend, it would have been Jay. He always listened to my bullshit with a smile on his face. He was also my dealer and always high so he may not have actually ever been listening. "I haven't seen you around in awhile. You haven't been cheating on me have you?"
I rolled my eyes and sipped at my drink. "No, I haven't had anything in a week. I'm starting to get really edgy. I just came for a drink."
"Well, if you've gone that long let me help you out. You know I always give you the best price."
"No. I am trying to quit. I just came for a drink to take the edge off."
Jay smiled at me. "Alright, how about something new I got. It is very mild. It will help you deal with the withdrawal."
I looked at him suspiciously, but so far he has never lied to me. "I don't know." I really wanted it. I was trying to resist, but I really, really wanted it.
"Have one on the house as a goodbye present then; for being such a loyal customer."
I nodded and grabbed the little pill he had and took it with the drink. The night went all wrong from then on. While I was nice and high I ended up buying much more from Jay. Come to think about it that may have been his plan all along. When I came down I was in an alley and had only a blurry memory of the night before. I knew I had sex with someone, but I really didn't know who. I curled myself into a small ball and fell back to sleep right there. I had failed and I had no intentions of going back to the factory. Even if Willy could forgive me there was no reason so say that I wouldn't do it again and again. I felt the sting in the back of my eyes again as I realized my worst fears had become a reality. I was my mother.
I fell right back into the world that I had left. This time I went all out. I wasn't just a whore when necessary anymore. It was now my profession. Jay was almost always by my side and my eyes were never redder. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. Whenever I wasn't drugged up I was ashamed. Then on top of that, I hated myself for feeling ashamed. I didn't have to prove myself to anyone.