Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and any reference to any other thing owned by someone else.

Claimer: The OCs are mine. If any are sue-ish, well…they're still my sues.

Warning: Characters may sometimes be OOC. You have been warned.

Lost

Chapter 5

It had been two months since Master and Apprentice had gone their separate ways. It had been one month since Jiraiya had really lost his apprentice. It had been one month since Jiraiya had heard of the feat of heroism that his apprentice had accomplished at that one port town that declared Naruto as one of their heroes.

News traveled fast especially since the news originated from a port town. It may have only been a month since the incident, but more than one forth of the Elemental Continent had heard of Naruto's bravery, of course the tale had been altered countless times, that the only way to get the true story was to travel all the way to the port town.

Taking a break from his research, as well as his search for his student, Jiraiya could be found just walking along one of the many busy streets in a city in An no Kuni. The street he was walking on was one of many in the city's commercial district.

He was window shopping, hoping to find something that might placate his Hokage, and help him avoid being turned into just another hole in the wall, or worse. He had yet to perform his duty as a Shinobi of Konoha by reporting the loss of his student to his immediate superior. He would admit that he was afraid of her reaction, he was afraid for his life. He was also afraid of what might happen should anyone else find out about the brat's disappearance. The Akatsuki would jump at the chance to capture the Kyuubi no Jinchuuriki, since Jiraiya would not be there to protect him, wherever he may be.

An no Kuni was luckily or unluckily, depending on how one were to look at it, one of the countries that had yet to hear of Naruto's deeds in that one port town in Kaminari no Kuni. There were a number of blonde haired, blue eyed youths in the city, and the rest of the country for that matter, but none that the pervert had encountered sported those uniquely Naruto whisker marks on their faces.

He even had his spy network keep a look out for Naruto, hoping that one of his spies or contacts might find him. So far there had been no luck. There were no trails or leads as to the whereabouts of his student. There were no clues as to where he could be aside from the fact that some black clad unknown individual had taken Naruto away to recover.

It had only been a month, but Jiraiya was already starting to lose faith in the possibility of ever finding his student. He knew it was foolish to think of such a thing, but he if even his spies and contacts couldn't find anything, he doubted that no one else could.

At least he had that going for him, if he couldn't find his student, much more the Akatsuki, but to be one the safe side it would be best not to alert that organization to the reality that the master had absolutely no clue as to where his apprentice was presently at.

After thinking of such things, the Super Pervert returned to his window shopping. He had already passed by several shops selling some imported and local sake. But those didn't seem to appeal to him. He didn't think that they were either cheap enough to buy in bulk, or strong enough to down the drinking powerhouse that was his former teammate.

He had also passed several jewelry stores, none of their wares having any appeal to him as well. His Hokage did not seem to be the kind of woman who was into those kind of material things.

He had even passed by several debt collectors, of whom his formerly bustless Kage still owed money to, and even though he could pay off those debts he didn't think that his Kage would care about it.

It seemed that no matter what he saw, he couldn't find anything that could help him in his quest not to get killed by the Godaime Hokage.

He continued his trek through the streets of the commercial district, there might still be something that could help him. He knew that eventually his conscience would get him to go back to Konoha to report that he had lost his charge. Even though the manner in which he had lost his charge was filled with things beyond his control, he was one of the Densetsu no Sannin for crying out loud. He could have used so much more things in his fight against those nuke-nin, as well as against those abominations, but he did, or rather wasn't able to, it all caught him by surprise.

But those were just excuses, he could have done so much more. He could have moved faster, he could have helped his student more. He could have been there when he was needed most, well not most but needed nonetheless.

He regretted leaving his student to travel the world alone for one month, even if it was necessary, he could have found another way to further investigate that lead that ended in a dead end.

As a teacher he was a disgrace, half the time he had left his student to figure things out on his own. He merely left some scrolls for his student to learn from when he left him on his own.

He could have at least taught his student the training trick with Kage Bushin. But no, he didn't he prioritized his research over the well being of his charge, his student, his godson, of Naruto. He had neglected Naruto for most of his life. Never checking up on him during his nonexistent childhood. Never being there when it mattered. He was a disgrace, not just as a teacher, but also as a human being. He had been there for many other people, other people that wouldn't really matter, but for the one person that did matter, that should have mattered, he was absent, his existent in Naruto's life was an empty void that would never, no matter what he would try to do, would never ever be filled. His past actions were a stain on his very soul. There was no way that the past would be able to be redone, there may be no way to change the past. If there were, all the what ifs in his life would be what was's. If he could change the past, maybe Naruto would have been stronger, strong enough to not have needed any medical attention after defeating those monsters that had attacked the port town. If he had taken his responsibility as a teacher more seriously, maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe he wouldn't be window shopping for a possible bribe, a way to cheap the agonizing death that awaited him back in Konohagakure no Sato.

Jiraiya's thoughts kept returning back to depressing and regret filled thoughts, they kept going back into the past, they kept reverting that he was unable to keep a firm hold on the present, on the all important now. His connection to reality was so frayed, that he did no notice that he was walking in the direction of something that would haunt his dreams for days to come, until it was too late.

Jiraiya had the chance that not many had the chance to do. He had slipped on some mud in the road and bumped into another passing traveller, and they tumbled to the ground ending up with the guy lying on his back with Jiraiya's face on his crotch.

All activity around the duo immediately stopped, and everyone around them stared. Mothers then quickly covered the eyes of their children, men were disgusted, and single women just stared in disbelief.

The man whose crotch Jiraiya's face was planted on, quite slowly got out of his shocked state. Jiraiya on the otherhand had passed out. He was unconscious. Some of the people who would later bring him to the hospital would then forever think of him as a yaoi addict who had finally attained one of his life's dreams. The thought of his passing out being due to shock and disgust would never ever cross their minds.

Jiraiya of the Sannin, the Gama Sennin, would forever be remembered in that city, not as a Super Pervert, but as a yaoi-man. In that one city, his reputation would be equal to that of his male former teammate, whatever that reputation may be. But the point is, that if he would ever in the future return to that city, and he entered the red light district, he would be met with men, and not women. If he should ever try to approach a woman there, he would be treated with pity, and they would try to get him out of his shy shell. The world in a forgiving place sometimes, they would encourage him to not hide his real sexuality from the rest of the world. He should not be ashamed.

Three days after that incident, Jiraiya woke up from his man's-crotch-to-his-face coma. He gave a fake name to the doctor in charge of him, the name he gave for record keeping's sake being Otokonaki Kenage, meaning unmanly weeping; manly, an oxymoron, but that was the only thing the moron could think up on such short notice.

He left the city on that same day, hoping against all hope that they wouldn't remember him, but sadly for him that was one wish that would never come true. But at least his books would still sell in that part of the world, seeing as no one there would ever know that it was he that wrote those books.

His next destination was anywhere but that city. He decided to run like mad away from that city in a random direction til he fainted from exhaustion. Unfortunately his stamina allowed him to run for days on end, he finally fainted four days later in front of the gate of the former Tanigakure no Sato in the heart of Tani no Kuni.

A week later of unhindered rest Jiraiya woke up in an unfamiliar room. His shinobi insticts instantly kicking in. He found his clothes on a trunk at the foot of the bed that he was lying in. He quickly put his clothes on, he even found all his things intact and in the room with him. After fixing himself up, he stealthily left the room in search of whomever had brought him to wherever he was at.

Sometime later after arriving at several dead ends, Jiraiya found himself in some kind of kitchen. Everything in it was arranged in such a way that Jiraiya ended up wondering if he was standing on a wall or the ceiling and not on the floor. Once the confusion overrode his instincts he did the only thing he could think of doing, he found a chair and sat down.

Moments later a woman wearing an orange kimono with white clouds on it entered the kitchen. She had long brown hair that reached her lower back. On her heart shaped face, she had light green eyes, a small nose, and a small mouth with light pink lips. She also sported a rosy complextion.

"Oh, you're finally awake!" she exclaimed after noticing Jiraiya sitting in the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah...uhm..." he said after hearing the exclamation.

"I found you at the gate of this village. By the way, welcome to Tanigakure no Sato."

"I apologize if I was a burden to you, I guess I shouldn't have just ran like I did."

"Ran? Ran from what? There aren't that many bandits and the like around these parts."

"Something happened in a city far from here. I'd rather not talk about it."

"Oh."

"Uhm...I'm Myobyoku Jiraiya by the way, in case you didn't know."

"Oh! Right! Sorry, where are my manners. I'm Gizensha Kiyomi. Nice to meet you."

"So, how long was I out for? I know I've been out of it for days."

"Uhm...around a week. You must have really been tired."

"Yeah. I guess," he paused for a moment thinking, "You live alone?"

"For now. The rest of my family left a long time ago. I'm the only person you'll find in the village actually."

"What? Why?"

"For one thing, its my home, I grew up here. Thats why I'm reluctant to leave."

"Oh."

"But I get visitors every now and then."

"Ah, I thought you were trying to be a sennin or something. He he."

"I doubt Ikkaku would like that," she laughed out, "Jiraiya if you don't mind me asking, but what are you planning on doing now that you've awoken?"

"Me?" he paused, "I plan on going somewhere else, sort of, nothing against you or anything like that, its just that there is someone I need to find."

"Oh? Someone you need to find? I know someone who can help you."

"Really, how can this person help me? I doubt he'd know the person I was looking for."

"It wouldn't matter to him. He has a knack for finding things or people. The only thing he can't find is his memory."

"So he has amnesia or something?"

"Something like that. He'll be coming by tomorrow, he always comes on a monday for some reason."

"Oh, if you say so. I'll stay for awhile then."

Moving towards the refrigirator that was on the ceiling Kiyomi opened the fridge door and took out some food.

"You must be starving. As much as I enjoy talking, I haven't eaten since breakfast, and its been two hours past noon," she said, moving towards the stove, she placed the food in pots and pans on top of it, "This will only take a second," the stove wouldn't start, "Or two...or three..."

"Uh..." Jiraiya didn't know what to do in a situation like the one he was in. But before he could do anything, a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Kiyomi! I brought you and your patient some grub! The stove is still busted remember!" was what the voice that interrupted Jiraiya's thoughts said.

The voice belonged to a young man who seconds later entered the kitchen. He had spiky blonde hair, and blue eyes. He had two red tear-shaped tatoos below his eyes. He was wearing an orange and black shirt, with a red vest over it, as well as a pair of purple pants, and slippers.

"Haru! I thought you weren't due back til tomorrow, with Mikio. Where is he by the way?"

"Ah, eh, uhm..." Haru turned from his position in the doorway and faced Jiraiya, "Hey, uhm, the name's Asahi Haru," he held out his hand which the Super Pervert shook, "Nice ta meetcha."

"Nice to meet you too," Jiraiya said standing, "I'm Jiraiya."

"I know, I own all your books. Although I wouldn't talk about that now. Since well," gesturing towards Kiyomi, "She's likely to kill us."

"You sure? I mean, she's been alone in this place with just me for the week. I'm not so confident my honor is still intact."

"Yeah, I see your point. She is kinda known for doing that kind of thing" Haru says while adopting a thinking pose.

"Hey!" Kiyomi shouts indignantly and throws a pot at Haru, "That was only one time! Wait til I get my hands on you!"

"You want me now?" Haru said after dodging the pot, "I didn't know you were into younger men."

"I'm not!" she momentarily paused, "I'm still into older men, like Jiraiya over there," she rantingly pointed at Jiraiya, "I'm not into scrawny pipsqueaks like you!"

"I really was violated?!!"

"NO!" she shouts at both males.

"Whoa. I never seen her this flustered or irritable before," Haru told Jiraiya.

"Hey, hey, hey, how bout we forget this part of the conversation and move onto the food? Savvy?" Jiraiay said trying to placate Kiyomi, and suceeding.

"Fine," facing towards Haru with a spatula in hand, "I'm warning you."

"Alright alright, I give, I give. I'll stop. Ok. I get it. You're not into me, but into older men!"

Haru was then promptly answered with a spatula to his head and lots of pots and pans battering his body.

Jiraiya just watching the proceedings thanking all the gods of all religions that for once, he was not the one on the receiving end of such a beating.

The next day the three residents of Tanigakure no Sato awoke to the sounds of someone fooling around in the kitchen. Walking towards the kitchen, while somehow partly getting lost in the house, all three arrived to the sight of one light-blue haired young man, wearing a grey shirt and dark green pants, with an apron tied around his waist, bent over a working stove, making breakfast.

"Mikio!" both Kiyomi and Haru shouted surprised.

Mikio turned around to face them, eye smiled, and went back to what he was doing.

"Hey, tree trunk man! Turn around and greet Kiyomi's boyfriend!" Haru shouted.

Faster than lightning Mikio turned around and flung an empty pot at Haru, which was too fast to dodge.

"Hello author of the Icha Icha series. If you hurt Kiyomi I will do to you what Namikaze Minato did to the Iwa-nins and the Kyuubi. I will also inform your village leader that you are short one student," then he went back to his cooking.

"Jiraiya-kun," Kiyomi sweetly said, "Start running Super Pervert," one hand brandishing a zanbatou, the other holding a rusty spork, "You too Haru."

Both men swiftly ran in panic for safety, and the continued presence of that which makes them men, Kiyomi hot on their heels.

Once breakfast was served and all everyone was gathered around the dinning table Jiraiya decided he wanted his thirst for answers quenched.

"So, Mikio," he began, "How'd you know about my student?"

"Someone whispered it in my ear."

"Come again?"

"I hear voices, he tells me things. Also this is the first time that I am able to help anyone."

"What do you mean Miki-kun?" Kiyomi asked.

"Yeah Mikio, whatcha mean?" Haru also asked.

"The voice is silent. Either it doesn't know where he is, or it cannot say where he is. I'm sorry I couldn't help you," he said to Jiraiya.

"Oh well, thanks anyway, even though I haven't asked for your help yet, eheh."

"The voice also says that your spy network will not bear any notable fruit until your three year training trip has ended."

"How do you..?" Jiraiya started to say but was interrupted by Mikio.

"The voice knows many things. Also it says that if I travel with you, in search of your student, I might be able to find that which I have been searching for since the days of the last Great Shinobi War."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Kiyomi says waving her hands around, "You just got here and you're making plans of leaving already?"

"No, the voice just says that I should travel with Ero-sennin over here," he gestures towards Jiraiya, "thats all."

"Ero-sennin?," Haru scrunches up his face, "I like it! From now on you," pointing at Jiraiya, "are hereby dubbed Ero-sennin! Yeah!" Haru proclaims while rising from his seat and posing dramatically for added effect.

"Ero-sennin, if we were to call you by this title, then it will deter other women from trying to steal your heart and money. They will think twice before trying to get into your pants, as well as your wallet," Mikio stated.

"Ya see, we're just looking out for your wellbeing, as well as that of Kiyomi's. Personally I'd love to see what Mikio would do to you should you do something to upset Kiyomi irreparably," Haru added.

"Yes. Kiyomi's last boyfriend suffered at my hands before I allowed him to flee into the waiting arms of the Shinigami."

"Guys!" Kiyomi said, "Stop scaring Jiraiya! He's not my boyfriend!"

"The voice agrees with my when I say that it does not matter what you say now. History has proven itself countless times, when Haru says that someone is your love interest, that person is your love interes. Whether you like it or not," Mikio pointing at Jiraiya continued, "This Super Pervert already has it in his head that you are someone he would love to peek on at the onsen. You are someone he would love to include in the next issue of his adult book series. You are also someone who has seen him in his birthday suit," Mikio then pointed at Kiyomi, "The facts stand against you, accept your fate! You are fated to either end up as his wife or willing sex slave, witness as I hand him a fate worse than death."

Mikio then went back to eating, while Kiyomi, Haru, and Jiraiya were staring slackjawed at what Mikio had just said and done.

Haru was happy.

Kiyomi knew that Mikio knew things.

Jiraiya, couldn't make up his mind on what to think after that proclaimation.

Shortly after they got out of their respective stupors, they continued their meal.

At the end of the day, Kiyomi went to bed, Haru vanished in a pink flash to go sleep wherever he slept when he was in the village, and Mikio just slept while standing upside-down on a tree branch outside the village.

Jiraiya on the otherhand was struck by a sudden realization. Haru and Mikio looked like people he should know. If not know, then they were dead ringers for people he did know. Haru resembled two people he had interacted with or rather taught at some point in time, while Mikio looked like someone he knew from the war. Thankfully Kiyomi was someone knew, if she had looked like someone he had met previously he would have freaked out.

The only thing that crossed his mind as weird was that Mikio had a voice that knew more or less everything. He thought that there were only four people in an entire hidden village never crossing his mind.

In one of the many rooms in a fortress whose location was still unknown a being with a hundred eyes smiled. His friend was on the road to recovery. He may have a hundred eyes, but that didn't mean he didn't see everything. Some of the things about Jiraiya, he got from his blonde friend during meal time. The other thing he knew from his vast spy network. He believed that nothing bad would come out of his slight manipulation of events. He just hoped that the being who was Kiyomi's father figure didn't find out that he, Hyakume, had set Kiyomi up with a Super Pervert.

'Tch, yeah right, like I could keep a secret from Him. Well here's hoping,' he thought hoping and praying that that being never found out, and if He did, then Hyakume better be in either the presence of Touken, or his blonde friend, 'I'm still nine hundred eyes short, I'm too young to die!'

The quartet continued to stay in the village for another week before they all left it in search for Naruto, Mikio's memories, adventure, and a way for Jiraiya and Kiyomi to get together. But unfortunately for all for, the journey was going to be a long one. Jiraiya only hoped that he wouldn't go insane from the way Mikio spoke and acted, he also hoped that Mikio wouldn't kill him, that Kiyomi would allow him to write and sell his books, and that Haru would stop calling him Ero-sennin.