THE CYNICAL SOLDIER
Chapter 11 Iss 2;
They made their way back to the infirmary. Rodney was caught up, reminiscing with Ronon over the fight, explaining strategies and exchanging compliments while Teyla looked on, smiling.
John walked next to them, watching. He flashed a convincing grin if any of them looked in his direction and it showed how emotional and caught up in Rodney's energy Ronon and Teyla were, because normally they were the first to notice it didn't touch his eyes.
Ronon was full of exuberant energy that gave his steps bounce, like Rodney walking beside him. Both their hands were moving through the air as they replicated a move or a staff's hold and all the while Teyla looked on with an indulgent smile and a sparkle in her eyes. Rodney's smile was natural and it should have eased the tightness in the pit of John's stomach, but hearing Rodney speak about fighting with the same energy and excitement he use to speak about science made him morose.
McKay strove to understand, unlocking secrets of the gods. Life, creation of the very stars themselves, he was always looking to understand, pushing the human race towards some goal that only McKay could see. To shake off the past indiscretions and be all they could be. McKay saw the beauty of science as their future.
Rodney looked to dispatch life in the quickest time, strove to understand tools that brought only death, striving to be all he could be… a killing machine, efficient and dangerous and numb.
They did have something in common still, Rodney and McKay. They both sought knowledge like a hunger, both soaked up all they learned and looked for more, insatiable.
This coupled with Rodney's exuberance was helping some, to lift John's spirits. As they made their way through the halls of Atlantis, Rodney's excitement became infectious and Sheppard's smile became more natural. Still sad inside, but seeing something so familiar after having nothing but empty air and unbearable silence for the last three months helped him to see the bigger picture.
There were four of them walking through the halls of Atlantis again, and if the subject was different, the scene at least was a familiar one. Rodney relaxed and excited, with hands moving, while his team walked alongside him, smiling with him.
And if he wasn't quite McKay yet, well it was early days, because one day, Rodney would be as excited about numbers and secrets as McKay had been. One day his friend would be whole, but for now he was alive and here, and today that was enough for John.
They walked into the infirmary like it was four months ago, relaxed and together with a smile on every face.
Sheppard glanced across the infirmary to see Carson look up and saw the joy in his face to see them as they use to be, whole again. He smiled in return as Carson handed off the file to the nurse he had been talking to, and as Carson started towards them, John returned his attention to Rodney, who was asking Ronon about a fighting move.
Carson's voice pulled Sheppard's attention back to him as he neared the group, "well, well. You looked as if you've all had fun, wha…" Carson broke off suddenly as he reached out and gripped Rodney by the chin, pushing his face gently from side to side as he exclaimed, "Bloody hell, lad! What happened to ya, Rodney?" His voice part anger and part sympathy as he winced at the bruises and grazes on Rodney's face.
Teyla, Ronon and Sheppard froze. Oh God.
Rodney glared at him while he batted Carson's hand away, but the moment he was free of the grip the glare morphed into a grin, "Just sparring," he said as he shrugged a little, "with him," he said as he nodded at Ronon. John wanted to shout 'shut up you idiot' and cringe, but daren't close his eyes around an angry Carson.
Ronon took a step back, which earned a confused glance from Rodney, but his attention soon returned to the Doc when Carson exclaimed in a high, disbelieving voice, "My God lad, you sparred with Ronon!"
Rodney nodded, clearly confused over the fuss Carson was making.
Carson shook his head and pointed to the nearest bed, "Go over there, I'll be over to check your injuries in a minute."
"But…" Rodney began.
"Rodney. Please. Just go. I have a few words to say to these people before I come over there." Carson said as his eyes swept over them and John felt like a five year old in front of his mom again, and judging by Teyla and Ronon's nervous moves, the feeling was an intergalactic one.
Rodney's brow creased, but some survival instinct must have kicked in because he went. He pulled himself up onto the side of the bed, kicking his heels as he watched them, intrigue and confusion warring for precedence on his face as Carson swung back to them.
"This is'nae a splinter he has," Carson's voice was unusually quiet and with the anger bringing out his thick accent, he actually sounded scary. "He has amnesia, that's an injury to the head in case you forgot an' you spar with 'im?! A knock ta the head could cause irreparable damage. I'm having enough trouble trying to fix 'im as it is and you take him…" Carson clamped his jaw tight and took a steadying breath. Two of them were smart enough to keep quiet.
"I didn't aim for his head," Ronon mumbled, the tone hurtful.
Carson swung to him, jabbing his finger into the air above his chest. "You would'nae have ta lad. It could be a fall, an accident." Carson sighed, anger easily abated when it wasn't a normal emotion for the man. Even worse though, when it was replaced with disappointment, "I trusted you to protect him." And didn't that just make the guilt pulse through Sheppard.
Carson's hands fell down to his sides wearily as he continued, "I know that you're excited to have him back, but you forget, you're not the only ones. He's my friend too," he pointed a finger at them as he continued, voice turning hard again, "and, by God, if you've damaged him, if you've… I'll never forgive you for it."
This was definitely worse than when he was five because he was older now, he should know better and Carson was right. What had he been thinking, allowing Rodney to fight? Just because he didn't wear bandages didn't mean he wasn't injured. He'd been an idiot, like Carson said, getting caught up in his emotions. All three of them nodded remorsefully, full of guilt that they may have lost him again and by their own hands.
Then there was the other guilt, because yeah, he did forget that Carson was Rodney's friend as well and had actually known him longer. Rodney was part of their team and they all considered him theirs. It was stupid and childish, but that's the way it was. Rodney was a part of them, and sometimes they forgot to share him.
Suddenly he remembers that he never asked Carson once how he was doing. When they thought Rodney was dead, he had raged against the skies, felt the loss in his soul and had never once considered that someone outside the team might feel that too. He never considered that Carson was hurting just as bad, and had never asked him. So, yeah, guilt.
"I'm sorry Carson. We were so caught up in ourselves we left you to mourn alone…"
Carson cut him off sharply, "It was you who mourned alone, Colonel. I had plenty of people to share our loss." He sighed deeply, forcing his anger aside. "Look, that's in the past. I'm talking about now. What were you thinking, you could have killed him."
Teyla stepped forward. Lovely calm and articulate Teyla, thought John in relief because he had no words to explain himself. He watched her place a hand on Carson's bicep as she spoke, "We would never knowingly hurt Rodney. You know that Carson, what he means to us, what it means to have him back. We won't make that mistake again, I promise you."
Carson seemed to sense the depth their sorrow, because he just nodded. "Yes, well. Just think next time, okay?"
They all nodded in response. None of them said anything more, what was there to say? Sorry just didn't cover it. Carson must have decided that that was enough because he indicated the bed behind Rodney. "Go take a seat, Ronon. I'll get a nurse to clean you up. It looks as if you got as good as you gave."
Ronon nodded and walked over to sit on the bed behind Rodney. Carson moved over to Rodney as he alerted one of the nurses to come clean up Ronon. Sheppard and Teyla paused before following and shifted nervously, unsure if they were welcome by Carson in his domain, but unwilling to leave Rodney again so soon.
Carson sighed, "Oh for goodness sake," he said in exasperation, pointing to the chairs between Rodney's and Ronon's beds', "take a seat you two."
Carson asked Rodney to remove his jacket as he pulled a wheeled trolley over to them, prepping cotton buds and cleaning solutions. He looked over Rodney's torso and took hold of Rodney's face again, checking the surface damage was only that before starting.
As he turned and doused the cotton bud in the solution he spoke, with a quick admonishing glance to Sheppard and Teyla. "Someone should have told you, Ronon always wins." Carson raised the cotton bud to his grazed temple but Rodney jerked back. Sheppard saw Rodney's back stiffen and had no doubt that Rodney was glaring at the good doctor when he spoke, firm and intense, "I won."
Carson froze with eyes wide. "You won?" The doctor looked to John for confirmation, so he nodded in response and couldn't help a wry smile adorning his face. Carson swung his eyes to look at Ronon, over Rodney's shoulder. Ronon nodded as Carson looked over his injuries anew, knowing Rodney of all people inflicted them.
"Well, quite the little soldier, aren't we?" Carson said, disappointment clear. Innocent little words like that really shouldn't have hurt as much as they did.
Sheppard also noticed that Carson hadn't looked Rodney in the face when he said it. Oh yeah, he was still pissed and Sheppard understood entirely. Rodney relaxed though and Carson continued his administrations in silence.
He didn't say another word until he was finished. Pushing the trolley to the side, he beckoned Rodney off the bed. "Come on, I want to scan you, just to be sure. Even if they didn't hit your head, you may still have sustained some damage." He walked over to the scanner with Rodney trailing behind him. When he indicated the scanner, Rodney climbed on quietly, but still glaring at the indisposition.
Sheppard had trailed along as well, watching. As usual his patience ran out and he had to ask, "Carson? Did we…?" He couldn't bring himself to ask but he had to know. He swallowed and tried again. "Did we hurt him?" he asked in a quiet voice, the emotion bleeding through.
Carson was silent for a moment, perfectly still and Sheppard's world started to shake at its very foundations before Carson spoke again. "No, there is no damage." As Sheppard was taking a relived sigh and trying to settle the shaking inside, Carson turned to him and continued.
Carson sighed, sounding so weary. "We were lucky, Colonel. I lost him once and I don't intend to do that again. From now on, if I allow you to take him from the infirmary again, you will follow my instructions to the letter. I won't let his life depend on luck, are we clear, Colonel?"
Sheppard nodded and took a step closer so he stood next to Carson. He was aware that Rodney was looking on, curious, and he might not do this very well but sorry was not enough. Something had to be said, even if it was inadequate.
"You were right, Carson. I forgot, we forgot." He glanced over at Teyla and Ronon before turning back to Carson. "We let our emotions overrule our senses. He was so enthusiastic about sparring and I just wanted to see him smile again. I had no idea it would turn into an actual fight, I had no idea he could fight, not like that. I should have stopped it as soon as it became serious. To think we nearly… I couldn't…," Sheppard took a deep, steadying breath and locked intense eyes with Carson, "I won't let that happen again and I'll think about every action. I'll wrap him in bubble wrap if I have to. I won't risk his life again." He waited, allowing Carson to take the measure of him and his words. He wasn't normally so open but he had hurt Carson, and he needed him to know he was sincere.
Carson nodded. "Glad to hear it, Colonel. I couldn't do that again either. You made a mistake, one you won't make again. Now, I think that's enough said on the subject." Carson turned and indicated for Rodney to follow him as he spoke softly, voice full of warmth again, "Let's get you back in to bed, Rodney."
Rodney trailed behind, looking deep in thought, as he looked between Carson and Sheppard. When they reached his cubicle, Carson pulled the curtains around, passing a new set of scrubs to Rodney, before guiding him behind the curtains.
They waited outside until Rodney pulled one curtain back and watched him climb into bed as Carson moved in and closed the other curtain.
Not a minute too soon either as lunch arrived. They all looked to Carson to check they were still invited. "Och, don't be so silly," was his invite to stay and they jumped at the chance to accept with grateful smiles.
Thankfully, Ronon and Rodney were smart enough not to discuss the fight, unfortunately this didn't leave a lot of conversation given that Rodney couldn't remember anything about them before yesterday, so any topic would have left him on the sidelines.
Their reprieve to the silence came in the form of Elizabeth, who it seems Carson had also invited to lunch. "I thought, given that no one seems willing to leave Rodney's side, we could have an informal briefing here."
"You found something in my blood," Rodney asked, though it was more a statement than a question. He sat up eagerly.
Carson smiled, "Yes, Rodney. We've found a chemical which we think has been acting as a blocker for memory retrieval. We think we've also produced a counteragent that can remove this chemical from your system. We will be starting preliminary trials," he paused to check his watch, seemingly surprised at the time, "about now actually.
"We're going to treat different samples and see how our agent affects them, not only to check for a success rate, but also to ensure there are no side affects.
Carson looked at Rodney, hesitantly, "Look, I know you're impatient, but this is a good thing. I don't want to put drugs into your system if I don't have to, and I won't put untested drugs into your system, before you ask. I'm going to give it all the time it needs and I'd like to take that time to ensure that your memory isn't going to get better by itself. The mind is amazing, Rodney, and I'd like to give it a chance."
"And if it doesn't?" Rodney asked.
Carson sighed, hearing the bite in Rodney's voice. "I'll assess your current memories today and then again tomorrow and we'll gauge the differences, look for any improvement. If there is an improvement then we will wait and see if the chemical leaves your system naturally. If there is no improvement, and the trials are successful, then we will use the new drug, once the trials are complete, okay?"
Rodney was quiet, contemplating and eventually he nodded, "Okay."
Carson put his finished food to one side, "Now, there is one more thing. When we found you, you had managed to escape. I presume that you had found a way to ignore their commands. This could be a sign of your body breaking down the chemical, so I want to know if you could tell us how that came about, how you escaped, Rodney. Anything at all you can tell us?"
**********************
Like an epiphany, Rodney realised the truth. He knew he wasn't hiding his emotions very well, could feel his eyes open wide. He knew he was staring but couldn't seem to stop anymore than he could hold back the fear.
"Rodney? What's wrong?" Carson asked gently.
Is this what it's all been about? Did they do these things to me? Handed me to those monsters? What if all this is just to figure out how I beat them? He shook his head adamantly, "no, I can't. I won't…" he clicked his mouth shut abruptly but continued in his head, I won't tell you how to break me, how to cage me, I won't.
"You don't have to go into details, Rodney," Carson said sincerely, voice full of compassion, "maybe just the bits that could help your recovery?"
Rodney glanced quickly at the exits and wondered if he could make it. He saw John follow his gaze and when he looked at John'sface he saw the realization. John knew what he was planning. He saw John lean forward and jerked away from him, thinking John meant to hold him while they found something to restrain him with, but John merely spoke softly, "We're your friends, Rodney. You can tell us what's wrong, you can tell us anything."
And Rodney found himself captivated by John's face, by the hurt that was followed quickly by the earnest worry in his eyes, and Rodney felt his heart breaking. I wanted this to be true. Friends. I thought I'd found my place amongst you and, oh God, how I want it to be true.
He wanted to be here, amongst these people, so badly. What if he did manage to escape and this was real. What if he threw this away when he could have it all? Friends, who cared about him, clearly loved him.
"Would you rather do this with just the two of us," Carson asked hesitantly and Rodney actually considered saying yes. He could easily defeat Carson, although Ronon had been easily cowed by Carson earlier and Rodney had only just beaten Ronon. He saw that the offer made John tense up and knew he wouldn't go far enough for a clean get away.
"Just give me a minute. I just need a minute to think." Rodney looked at them. He looked at each of them in turn and realised as much as he wanted to be free, he wanted this more. He wanted to be missed, cared for, protected… loved. But, if he wanted it, he would have to risk everything.
He still hesitated, the magnitude of what he was about to do freezing the words in his throat. He realised even if he was having trouble with the words, he had already made his decision. Fear settled heavy in his stomach, hands becoming clammy with nerves. Indecision stuttered his words. He forced them out. "Right, here goes," he paused again, heart beating wildly. He took a steadying breath in and out and then he risked everything and followed his heart.
"I started doing things before I was ordered, initially because it helped me to convince myself I was in control." He gave a bitter laugh at his own delusions. "But, over time, the guards became lax, not bothering to order me to climb onto the table, or follow them here or there, just knowing that I would."
Rodney paused, contempt entered his voice, "Milton never forgot, but I found that by choosing to follow their commands, I seemed to gain a modicum of control. Nothing major and Milton was still harder to resist. I think because he never stopped with the commands, but the guards became easier to defy, though I could only test it in small degrees, lest I gave myself away. Little things; a slight hesitation before obeying, four paces instead of three, pausing for just a second while following them, little things."
Rodney had control of his emotions, but his heart still beat wildly. He risked a glance at the people around him, but still couldn't glean if it had been worth the risk.
"I decided that Milton was too hard to resist, so when I was ready to make my move, I waited until he had gone for the night and there was only me and the guard. They didn't have doors on their cells, didn't think they needed them, so I just walked out. The guard, he told me to go back to my cell. He didn't even reach for his gun, so secure was he that I would just do as he said. By the time he realised I wasn't going to obey, I had already broken his neck."
He looked up at the small gasp and saw Elizabeth covering her mouth, but he could see the shock and sympathy in her eyes. It didn't give him a definitive answer, but when he looked at the warriors he saw determination and acceptance. There was a little pain in John and Teyla's eyes which could be for the man he killed, or because he had killed. They had shown over the last two days, if they were to be believed, that they found the idea of him killing painful and it swayed him to thinking he had made the right decision.
"The place wasn't heavily guarded. I presume they didn't think it was needed. I came across a few more guards and killed them all as I went. Just as I opened the door to the outside I heard the PA system commanding all inmates to return to their cells. It was Milton's voice. They must have called him back, or maybe it was a recording, I just don't know, but I… I almost turned back then. The compulsion was so strong, even though I knew what they would do. As I moved, my hand slipped from the heavy door and it fell shut. The force of it making me jump, it must have been soundproofed." His voice turned derisive and bitter as he hypothesised, "probably so our screams didn't keep the good towns people awake."
He pursed his lips as he brought himself back on track. "As soon as the door blocked the speakers, I lost the compulsion. I was worried they might have a speaker system outside, that I wouldn't be so lucky next time. I left the building and the town as soon as I could, disappearing into the jungle just outside the town. I just kept going and going till exhaustion dropped me where I stood."
He risked a glance at them. Their faces said they were still his friends, but his heart was still beating fast, almost painfully as he continued. "The rain woke me up and just in time. I was trying to plan what I was going to do next when a single man appeared on the track I had been using. I had managed to drag myself off the path before I had collapsed so he never saw me, hidden in the undergrowth."
He swallowed, his mind returning to the things he had done. "I just meant to stop him, maybe question him so I could decide what to do, but once I started, I couldn't stop. All the anger, hate and pain, he answered for all of it. There… there, er, there wasn't a lot left that was recognisable when I had finished. He never stood a chance." There was shock and pity in their eyes, except for Ronon, who held pride and acceptance in his eyes; understanding.
"I took all the tools he had and moved on. More followed, he must have been the scout. At first I just tried to keep ahead of them, but soon realised they were not going to stop. One by one, I stopped them, all seven of them. It took me nearly two weeks to kill them without risk of getting caught. I hoped each death would stop them, but they kept coming. If I'm honest I think a part of me was glad, thought they deserved the deaths I gave them. During this time I realised the compulsion to obey had gone. I actually spoke to the last man before I killed him and he had no control over me. He begged me not to kill him, but I didn't even hesitate when the time came."
He paused, he had told them everything. No reason to hold back now. "Although the compulsion had gone, none of the memories returned. The idea of facing Milton again scared me. I was terrified that the compulsion might still work with him, but I had no recourse, nowhere else to turn and I needed answers. I started to make my way back to town which took me a little over a week."
He turned to look at John, "I followed him from the installation to his house, that's where you found me. I had only arrived the night before."
Rodney looked into his lap, embarrassed that he had been stupid. So stupid, stupid. "He told me that they did this," he waved a hand vaguely at his head, "to criminals, so they could return them to society. He said that I had come to him willingly because I couldn't live with what I had done. He told me that my team had died and that I felt responsible." He looked at John, Ronon and Teyla as he continued, "When he told me about my team I got a flash of memory. I couldn't hold on to it, it was gone in an instant, but I think that was you three. The next day when I saw you, I didn't get any images, just senses. I sensed I could trust you." Please don't let me be wrong.
"As he spoke I had senses, vague images, feelings of things, although the name he gave me meant nothing, everything else seemed to click. That's what made me think that he was telling the truth, that's why I was going back with him the next day, when I saw you. When I think… think what I nearly did, that I nearly followed him back there." He took a ragged breath and continued. "One phrase he said in particular, 'to make recompense for those who died'." He hesitated, fearful of the answer before he continued in a quiet voice, "Did I do something, something bad? Did I kill someone I wasn't supposed too?"
"God, no, Rodney," Sheppard said earnestly, reaching forward to lay a hand on his forearm, eyes intense and full of compassion. "It's true people have died, and yes, you always felt responsible, but they didn't die by your hand, Rodney. Your hands are clean. You would never intentionally hurt anyone, unless it was in self defense. I can understand why you would feel that way, we all feel responsible for those who died under our command, but we make recompense by making sure it doesn't happen again, not by throwing our lives away, Rodney. Your place is here, it's always been here."
Rodney nodded the relief palpable. He felt a squeeze on his arm and looked down to find Sheppard's hand, already retreating as the panic flared. They had their hands on him. He had been so wrapped up in his emotions that he hadn't felt it there and he really couldn't afford to lose awareness like that. Sheppard was already leaning back, so the panic subsided to a fluttering palpitation in his stomach, and if he pulled his arm in a little closer to his torso, nobody said anything.
He looked at Carson, anything to take the attention from himself as he said the first thing that came to mind, "Was there anything that helped you?"
Carson pursed his lips, thinking. "From what you are saying, some of the things subsided with time, but more quickly the more you were absent from them. Now, this could just be because of the lack of downloads, or it could be because of something you ate. Your diet during those weeks could have contained something that was a natural counteragent for the drug. Can you remember what you ate?"
Rodney shrugged, "all sorts, small animals that I snared in the forest, berries and fruit. I drank from the rainwater that collected in the plants or the rocks. I rarely ate the same thing two days running. I can't think of anything that was consistent, except for the rainwater."
"Hmmm," Carson hummed as he tapped the pen against the board, "We will see if our trials are successful. If they fail then maybe we could send a team to get some samples of the water and the diet you had. Drinking water from the rocks interests me immensely as the water may have contained minerals from the rock. I think, as long as the team stay away from the towns and are cloaked, the danger would be minimal?" he queried as he looked between Sheppard and Elizabeth. Sheppard nodded, but Elizabeth paused before answering.
"We still don't know everything about their technology. We will also need to confirm when the auction closes as we may not have access to their gate after that. However, I would only authorise a team as a last resort. While we are confirming the cut off date for access let's see how the trials go and then we will discuss it again, if necessary."
Rodney spoke, a mixture of exasperation and anger. "So, let me get this straight. I have to wait until the trials are done, then if they aren't successful, I have to wait for a team to collect samples and then wait for those trials, and if they aren't successful, I have to wait for you to think of something else?"
Carson laid a hand on the end of the bed, leaning forward. "Rodney, you are healthy. Apart from the memory loss, you are actually in better shape than you have ever been. I know it must be frightening, not truly knowing who we are, where you are. Especially after everything you have been through and it must be hard to trust us. I understand that you want your memories back now, but it just can't be done. If we rush, we could do more damage than good. I am hopeful that the drugs we are currently trying will work, but I won't take the chance with your life. It will take as long as it takes, but we will fix it, I promise you that."
Rodney studied him. He wasn't going to budge any more now than he was this morning. The doctor would wait until everything was tried and tested before he would inject Rodney with the drug, and he was just going to have to wait.
They thought they understood, but they didn't or they would know that even now, after all that they had done, he couldn't help wondering if they had done this, if this was just them stalling for time. If this was just something to keep his hopes up, while they assessed him and catalogued him before they hurt him again. The voice inside said it was okay, but he still wasn't sure if the voice inside was him or something they had put there. He felt lost and scared all the time. Always waiting, waiting for that memory that would tell him it was over, that he was safe. He was so tired, never fully relaxing. He just wanted to sleep and not worry about who to trust and who not to trust. He just wanted a quick fix, to know, one way or another if this is where he belonged.
A thought came, unbidden. His heart soared at the possibility, pulse racing. It was possible. He didn't see why not as he planned everything through.
He nodded to Carson, "Of course." Careful, careful, catchy monkey. He had no idea where that thought came from and it almost made him laugh, which did help the false smile he was courting look a little more natural. He knew the sentiment though and it was right, can't give anything away. "I'm sorry. I know you're doing all you can, and I thank you for it. It's right to wait."
Carson visibly relaxed. "Good. I'm glad you understand, Rodney."
Sheppard, however, was looking at him strangely. He didn't look in his direction and luckily Elizabeth saved him having too, as she spoke. "Well, I'm sorry I haven't been in to see you more, Rodney, but I'm just snowed under. I will find time to come and see you tonight… if that's okay with you."
He smiled genially while he thought, damn, damn, damn. "Yes, of course. Though, not too late if you don't mind, I get very tired at the moment."
Elizabeth smiled and she really was very pretty when she smiled. "Okay, Rodney. Not too late. I'll see you later," and with that she rose, nodding to the rest with a quick, "keep me up dated,Carson," as she left.
*********
John had been on an emotional rollercoaster and it was beginning to wear him down. He looked at his friend, he was sure he had just seen something on his face, but he couldn't discern the emotion and before he could identify it, his attention was snagged by Carson speaking. "So, I'd best get down to the labs. I'll be back shortly," he said as he rose from his seat.
John glanced at Carson, nodding, before Carson turned to walk across the infirmary. He looked back to Rodney. He watched Rodney's eyes follow Carson's progress, he saw him flinch when Rodney realised he was being watched, but noticed Rodney never took his eyes off Carson's retreating back.
"Nice man, isn't he?" Rodney said, nodding towards Carson, and it sounded off the cuff and relaxed but his eyes were not. Intense and calculating, they followed Carson's progress through the back door of the infirmary as he made his way down to the labs.
Sheppard felt a cold chill, but didn't know what to do about it, so he just answered, intensely, "Yes, he is. He's one of your closest friends, you know. You care about him very much."
"Uh huh," Rodney answered, mind concentrating on something else.
TBC
Author note: Warning: Chapter 12 maybe a little late. You have caught me up now so each chapter written, betad, amended, grammar beta'd and posted in one week....I may be a couple of days late with Chapter 12....sorry....hopefully worth the wait.