Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and any reference to any other thing owned by someone else.
Claimer: The OCs are mine. If any are sue-ish, well…they're still my sues.
Warning #1: Characters may sometimes be OOC. You have been warned.
Lost
Chapter 16
For the first time during his little quest Jiraiya found himself totally separated from the group. He was utterly alone. The previous night, he and the guys were preparing to head over to Hi no Kuni, but just as he was about to sleep, he found himself sucked into a rabbit hole of all things. How the heck it got in the hotel room, he'd never really get to know, but the point was that he was sucked into a rabbit hole and found himself alone, with all of his things sealed in a tiny scroll attached to his waist. That big ass hell scroll that he usually carried around was just too big.
Unlike the places that he had found himself in previously, or the events and experiences that he had undergone, Jiraiya found himself in a relatively peaceful place. There didn't seem to be any larger than life things trying to kill him, there weren't any evidences or signs of wars, there was nothing that could possibly point to danger of any kind. The only thing that bothered him was that the lack of danger signs was the perfect sign for danger. What kind of danger he didn't know.
So the super pervert decided to do some exploring. If he was to be stuck in wherever he was, he might as well get to know the place. Get a feel of the peacefulness that the environment made him feel.
As he trudged through the terrain he chanced upon, as he usually did, a hotspring. It wasn't all borded up or enclosed in walls, it was an all natural hotspring. Like most of the hotsprings that the super pervert usually came across there was a beautiful specimen of the female species bathing in it.
Jiraiya used up all the common sense that he had and snuck up to a place nearer to the hotspring to take a closer look. An event such as that would be perfect for his next book.
He would probably have to describe her as a blue haired goddess, bathing in nature's spring. She looked to be the product of the fountain of youth. While she bathed her long blue hair covered her C-cups, at least it looked that way to Jiraiya.
As he observed and wrote in his little notepad, he failed to notice another pair of eyes also watching the beauty. This pair lacked all sense of perverseness in them, instead they had a predatory glint to them.
Jiraiya was completely oblivious to the events that were about to transpire around him.
The other pair of eyes moved closer to the beauty, they were poised and ready to strike at a moment's notice.
Jiraiya was still in writing mode, he was totally focused on the bombshell in the hotspring. It seemed as if he possessed some form of ADHD, he hyperfocused when he was writing his literary works.
The scene played out. The owner of the pair of eyes made himself known. He was dressed in the garb of royalty, he looked to be some kind of prince.
The beauty quickly sank into the waters to cover herself, and preserve her dignity, and innocence from the prying eyes and possibly hands of the man that stood before her.
The man made his way towards the beauty, but just before he would have been able to grab her, another man came out of the foliage. He too was dressed in the garb befitting a prince. The uncanny thing about the two men was that they were identical twins.
To Jiraiya is appeared as if the brothers were both after the same girl. Of course they couldn't share.
A third person arrived on the scene, it was getting a little crowded, but Jiraiya didn't really mind or notice for that matter.
The new arrival was an old man. His clothes were of an even higher standard than the two young men.
"She is already promised to another!" Jiraiya heard the old man say.
The two brothers protested saying things like they were older, as well as being of the line to inherit the seat of power in the land.
But the old man, would have none of it. He ordered the two young men to leave the hotsprings, and find some other maiden to have as their respective wives.
Apparently the beauty that Jiraiya was spying upon was the most beautiful maiden in all the lands. There was no other that could surpass her beauty.
After the twins left, a third young man arrived on the scene, he had twin katanas drawn as if ready for a fight. This young man was the fiance of the goddess in the water. He had come to defend her honor, from the twins, but had arrived after the twins had already left.
The old man was still there though. He berated the young man for even going to the spring. Apparently the only reason why the old man could go there as he pleased was because his vision was waning, he was slowly losing his sight, he was going blind. The three young men were not, and their very presences near the springs were attacks on the purity of the maiden who was bathing there.
"Even though you are my youngest and favorite child, I order you to wait for your wedding night!" the old man ordered his son, or so Jiraiya heard.
Once the young man left, the old man spoke to the girl.
"I apologize for the rash behavior of my sons," he said to her, then he too left the scene, leaving the girl once again alone in the hotspring.
Jiraiya was the only one that appeared to be there.
He then heard her say to no one in particular, "I wish that old man would let me be, if it weren't for the money, I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."
A ways away Jiraiya could heard sounds of fighting, still in writing mode he left the vicinity of the hotsprings to investigate.
He was greeted to the sight of the three brothers fighting one another. Rather the twins were fighting alongside one another and were trying to skewer the youngest of them.
The twins attacked in tandem, the two of them moving gracefully as if they were partners in some dance of death. The youngest of the three was defending with reckless abandon, reckless in the sense that he sported many cuts and wounds as it were.
The bloody dance ended when the youngest of the three fighters lay dead at the twins' feet.
Jiraiya went back to the hotsprings once the battle was over, when he got there the old man was there once again, this time the maiden was clothed. It appeared as if they had been speaking for quite some time.
Some waiting on Jiraiya's part bore some fruit, the twins soon made an appearance. Their father knew of the death of the youngest, and told his two remaining sons that since they loved fighting so much, the girl, as well as hiership would go to which ever of the two brothers remained standing.
Jiraiya witnessed the fight, the deadly dance of death was now performed by the twins, except instead of fighting as one, they were fighting as two halves of a whole. The dance was very graceful, elegant even, but quite deadly. In the end, the two brothers stopped. They then attacked their father and the maiden as one. If niether could have her, she wouldn't gp to waste, her remains would help the plants grow strong.
The brothers then decided to find other maidens to be their wives, they did not wish to fight to the death without the possibility of a successor to take their place. The twins were very competitive.
For some reason time seemed to flow differently for Jiraiya, he witnessed things and events that were happening in what should have been a long time, there were intervals, and moments that should have been days, but only passed by in mere minutes.
The brothers' competitive spirits escalated when they had their own families to continue their legacy. The two branches of the daimyou clan would fight it out, to see who would rightfully rule the land.
After witnessing what he had seen, Jiraiya decided to just write the book, and find some way to bind it and possibly publish it during the place and time that he was in.
Little did he know that his little orange book would be one of the catalysts and reasons behind the strife of Nairan no Kuni.
For at the end of the book it was written, "As the brothers did battle, the Land of Civil War was born."
After the book was released to the public the twin daimyous called a ceasefire in order for them to confiscate all the orange books, one of the few that Jiraiya wrote that wasn't all smut, and had those that read them either sworm to secrecy or killed outright.
Jiraiya had to flee the country, but he couldn't take his masterpiece of history with him, so he placed some preservation seals and the like on one copy of his work, and buried it in a spot of earth somewhere in the country. He vowed to one day find it, and rerelease it to the world.
It really did make an interesting read.
A few days after leaving Nairan no Kuni, Jiraiya bolted upright in the bed that he had fallen asleep in. He looked around and found that he had mysteriously found himself back in his hotel room.
'That was some rabbit hole...' Ero-Sennin thought to himself.
The room was just as he remembered it to be, it seemed as if his solo adventure had just been some freaky dream.
'Maybe I shouldn't have asked Ikkaku about the other provinces...' the super pervert thought to himself.
A few minutes later the super pervert once again found himself sleeping soundly under the covers of the bed. But when he awoke to what should have been the next day he found himself in a barren land.
His last thought before going into deep sleep mode was that he felt kind of dizzy as if he was spinning round and round, falling into a deep black pit of nothingness. When he openned his eyes, he was expecting a new day in the hotel room, but what he got was a desolate plain.
The earth was dry and cracked. Even the air was dry. There wasn't a spot of green for miles around him. There weren't even any bones of any form of dead animal or creature lying around. All evidence pointed to the conclusion that the place hadn't seen a glimpse of life for many many years, save maybe for him.
Jiraiya didn't believe that it was possible for him to be in an empty and barren wasteland devoid of all life, since he was still expecting something to happen to him again. Like maybe some giant komodo dragon to erupt out of the dry earth to try and swallow him whole or something like that.
But as he travelled the desolate wasteland, he encountered nothing of the sort. He even started to think that it was his karma for all the peeking he did in his life. Where once there was an abundance of beauties that he abused, now there was nothing, nothing at all except the barren and dry earth and himself.
It was a sexually frustrating place, there was absolutely nothing that could make him think of happy thoughts, it seemed as if even his happy place had turned into the wasteland that appeared before him.
Jiraiya trudged through this land of scorched earth, there weren't even any mirages to take his mind off of the barreness of the place.
There was nothing to distract him from his dilemna of why was he there in the first place, and why oh why was he subjected to such torture. That is until he bumped into something, or more like someone.
The person that he had bumped into while he was observing his surroundings for any sign of life was a young man wearing clothes apparently made of silk, pink silk.
"Eh, sorry bout that, didn't see you there," Jiraiya apologized.
"That's alright. I just arrived. I didn't think I'd find someone else here," the person said.
"Me too, although I think I've been here for quite awhile."
"Listen, I seem to have stumbled on a dilemna of sorts, you think you could help me? You look like a Sennin I once knew."
"Sure, and f-y-i, I am a sennin."
"See, I've got a selection of seeds, but I can only plant two of the seeds in this barren and desolate place," he then showed Jiraiya the seeds.
"How are you going to plant seeds in this place? They're just going to die."
"Well, the seeds have magical properties, so I think they'll grow just fine."
"Ok, so these seeds are of different kinds of plants, but you can only plant two?" Jiraiya verified, "Do I understand it correctly?"
"Yes."
"So...? How do I help you? They all look the same to me."
"Sorry about that, that's the problem, I can't pick two since they all look the same."
"So how am I supposed to help you?"
After a short moment of silence, Jiraiya jumped up into the air, pointing to the heavens, and proclaimed in a voice that should belong to a god.
"I have an idea!"
*blink blink* *stare stare* "How did you do that?"
"Err...I...don't know..."
"Well, anyway, what is this idea that even the heavens agreed that it is a good one?"
"We each pick on seed, then pour a bit of our essense into it, with the hope that somehow the seed is a good one."
"Random sampling...I like it! Alright, you pick one then I'll pick one."
The two people in the barren land picked one random seed each, Jiraiya then infused some of his chakra with his seed via medical chakra, while the other guy did something to his seed.
"Now what?" Jiraiya asked.
"Now, I go about planting. Then we'll see the results in a few minutes."
The other person then took the two essense infused seeds and shoved them into the ground, seeing as there was no water supply available in the barren land, he somehow cut his palm and poured some of his blood on the spot where the seeds lay, followed by some blood that he forcibly took from Jiraiya with a syringe that was produced from thin air.
In a matter of minutes the two seeds grew, one tree was green while the other one was blue.
"Uh...I've never seen a blue tree before..." Jiraiya admitted.
"Heh...me too...uhm...maybe I should paint it pink or something..."
"You can do that?"
"Yeah...just don't tell anyone that I painted the thing pink..."
"Its not like there's anyone here for me to tell..."
"Forgot about that."
So the other person who was not Jiraiya painted the blue tree pink.
"So...now what?"
"Now...I shall merge the two trees into one tree. A blue green tree would not look like a good tree. But a green and pink one would look pleasing and relaxing to the eyes, am I nt right?"
"You are right, but how are you going to merge the two trees, not that I doubt the possibility of such a thing happening.."
"Err...I don't know...just blink or something I guess...wanna help?"
"Sure...so...on the count of three?"
"One" both men said.
"Two" both men said.
"Three" both men said, then they blinked once.
After they finished their blink the barren wasteland had been transformed into a beautiful grove filled with trees with pink flowers.
"Nice...Sakura trees..." Jiraiya said.
"You named our creation before I could! The hell?!" the other guy exclaimed.
"Oh...sorry...didn't know I wasn't supposed to do that..."
"Well, what's done is done I guess, no use crying over spilt milk and all that rot."
"Yeah...uhm..so where are we?"
"I name this land Sakura no Kuni!"
After the word kuni was spoken Jiraiya once again found himself sitting bolt upright in his bed in the hotel room, and it was still nighttime.
'I'mma gonna kill Ikkaku in the morning...that's two dreams that had to do with the provinces of Rosuto no Kuni...' Jiraiya promised himself mentally.
Before once again returning to dreamland, Jiraiya chanted mentally that he would appear somewhere else aside from places that were considered lost.
Once sleep claimed him, his chanting worked somehow, since instead of a barren plain or something like that he ended up in the outskirts of a village that looked to have just been founded.
As he walked around the place, he noticed many things that caught his eye, many of the things and places in the village looked familiar to him. There were buildings whose structures looked familiar, there were even some people that looked like people that he knew.
There were some people that he saw jumping from one rooftop to the other, while others walked on the ground. One thing that stood out in the place compared to the other places that he had been were that there were people, lots and lots of people, there were more people than the other places he had been in had. But not as much as most villages of his time he supposed.
The village that he was in looked to be in its founding stages, people were running or walking here and there, helping one another in the construction work.
Jiraiya asked some people what the name of the village was, each person answered that there was no name yet, it had yet to be named. The leaders had yet to think up a name for the place. Some people speculated that the place was going to be named the Village Hidden in the Forest, since the village was situated in a forest, the hidden part being since it was prominently a village of shinobi. There were some people that thought that the village might be named after the country that it was in, the coutry which was named after the volcanos and the like that were found in the country. There even those that guessed that the village was going to be named after one of the natural disasters that had been known to roam the land in which in the village was a part of.
These clues led Jiraiya to the realization of where he now stood. It was a baby that he did not think that he would ever get to see. The village was but a baby, a newborn one to be exact. A child still waiting for its name, its identity in a word so vast and wonderous, that to be remembered a name was needed. He also realized that his mere presence could do something to the future of the place, so he had to disguise himself in a way that would allow himself not to be remembered for what he looked like. The action that he would take would consist of little things that shouldn't have a major impact on the events that would follow in the village as well as the rest of the world. This was one place that he wished to help, but did not dare to due to some things that should still happen.
He used a henge to hide his regular features. Instead of a shock of white hair, he sported a shock of brown hair, seeing as many in the village had brown hair. His clothes he modified to look like those of the times.
He walked and asked around about where the leaders could be found, he did this inorder for him to be able to see some people that he missed. This might be the only chance that he would have to see the people he wanted to see again. He wouldn't make his presence known at all, if he could help it. He just wanted to see them.
He claimed that he had just arrived, which was true, when people asked him why he wanted to see the leaders of the village. After hearing such a response they thought that he wanted to make sure that the leaders knew that there was a new resident, possibly from some other nomadic clan that wished to join the village.
Jiraiya made his way to what looked like the Hokage tower while it was still underconstruction. Of course at this time there was still no Hokage, the Shodai had yet to be appointed or announced.
He asked some of the people working on the construction for direction to the wherever the leaders were. He was then directed to where they were.
Apparently they were having a meeting at the peak of the what would one day be known as the Hokage Mountain.
Once he spotted the leaders of the village, one of them being an Uchiha, two others being Senju, he swiftly used his peeping jutsu to hide his presence. The Jutsu was one of his original creations, it was something that not even the Byakugan could see through, its purpose was to totally hide his presence from Kunoich and other chakra sensing females that he spied upon, back during the days that he couldn't hide his chakra or presence all that well.
He stealthily snuck up of the meeting to listen in on the going ons, and whatnot. Part of what they were arguing about was what to name the village as well as the title of the leader of the village.
He heard that they were about to come to a decision regarding the name of the village and the title of the leader of the village. But it was not the name that Jiraiya was familiar with. They were going to name the village, Village Hidden in the Forest, and the leader was going to be the Hikage, essentially it meant the same thing, but historically to Jiraiya it was something that would have been found on a whole other world.
He had to act, he needed the village to be the village he knew and loved not one that was run by a Hikage and was named Morigakure no Sato.
So he made his presence known, he was heard but that was it, he forgot that he was still under a nin-gen-jutsu.
"WAIT!" he shouted surprising the people present, "You can't name this place Mori! What kind of idiots are you?"
The clan leaders present looked around trying to find the one speaking, none of them thought of the possibility that he speaker was under a genjutsu or something, seeing as the Uchiha in the group could not see him.
"Who are you? What are you?" the elder Senju asked.
"I," Jiraiya paused, he was standing right before them and they looked to be unable to see him, he then instantly realized that he was invisible, "am the Spirit of Fire!"
The clan leaders instantly kneeled believing that they were in the presence of the actual Spirit of Fire, the wielder of the flame, the source of the will of fire.
"What then ancient spirit should the village be named?" inquired the Uchiha.
"Konohagakure no Sato, should be its name, hidden in the leaves is harder to find than one in a forest, for what forest is great enough to hide a village? This one and the one in Mori no Kuni."
"By your will," the clan leaders said.
"Hikage is also not something that I myself would approve."
"Then what should your representative in this world be called O' Great Spirit of the Flames?" some other clan leader spoke, "You possessor of the brightest and hottest beautiful flames of youth!"
"Hokage, would be the appropriate title, for one to lead a village that will grow, and reach such hieghts, that other lands will both fear and respect it."
"By your will," the clan leaders said.
"That is all that I came here for, I shall leave you now, but watch you, and see you grow," Jiraiya said, then he modified the Konoha Shunshin, so instead of a swirl of leaves, he disappeared in a vortex of fire.
On the other end of the jutsu he found himself not anywhere in Konohagakure no Sato, but sitting bolt upright in his bed in the hotel room that all four men and one woman were staying in.
'E.............no wonder that bit of history is never taught at the academy, no one would have believed them...' Jiraiya thought to himself.
Before sleeping he changed his chant, into finding himself somewhere else, not in Hi no Kuni or Rosuto no Kuni, somewhere else, possibly with hot naked girls with jiggling breasts, and other such perverted things, since his wife wouldn't mind that he was thinking or dreaming them.
Sleep claimed him, and in what seemed like a few hours in dreamland, the one with all the bombshells and their jiggling bossoms, a storm suddenly arrived scaring away all the girls and beautiful things, the storm was a strong one filled with thunder and lightning, in the darkness that had formed Jiraiya witnessed a hundred eyes open and a sharktooth filled grin appear in the darkness that the storm had created. Then the mouth in the darkness moved, and a voice was heard, one that was a mixture of a raspy sound and the sound of a thousand lions roaring in different tunes.
"See you in Hell Jiraiya-chan!" the Voice spoke, 'well not literally...but he doesn't need to know that.'
After those words were said Jraiya found himself plummeting to his doom. He was spiralling down into an abyss like tunnel or pit, leading to the very depths of hell.
All too soon, his descent into the underworld halted, and he found himself sitting on a chair, infront of a person wearing clothes that resembled some really ancient Tang Dynasty judge clothing. Jiraiya only knew of such a reference due to some reading and some relic type paintings that he had seen. It was like some of those countries that existed long before things today existed, like Japan and China for example. Countries like those were only mentioned in the most ancient of texts, Jiraiya being a sage of a sort had looked through such things, the bit about the Tang Dynasty judge clothing was in some mythology text about hell.
'I'm in hell...and that guy in front of me looks like Enma Daio...' Jiraiya mused.
"Yo!" the being in front of Jiraiya said in greeting.
"Uh...Hello...uh...where am I and what am I doing here?" Jiraiya asked.
"I am Enma Daio, you are in hell, and before you start screaming and such I want you to listen to the reason as to why you are here," Enma Daio said.
Jiraiya looked like a goldfish with his mouth closing and opening like the aforementioned fish. Hearing the name Enma Daio brought his brain to a complete stop.
"I'll take your silence as a sign that you heard and understood me," Enma said, "You are here since you are the biggest pervert alive to date, I have not encountered anyone who is a bigger pervert than you, you have been able to influence a great number of people in your world. The main reason as to why you have been sent here is that I want your input on what should be done to a group of sinners that have found there way into this lovely place I love to call home."
".....so.....what did they....uh....do in life?" Jiraiya managed to ask.
"Rape, and some forms of sexual abuse, and the like...so what do you think should happen to them?"
"Uh....for the men I guess you should have their sexual organs tied to something, and have them spun round and round for a long long time, the pull of gravity on their bodies should make the expeience quite painful," Jiraiya said, all the while wondering where his sudden burst of confidence came from.
"If you are wondering where your sudden burst of confidence came from, one of the people that you have helped sometime in your life is lending you some of his, just so you know who is helping you in this situation I shall tell you his name, his name is Somei Yoshino."
"Oh...ok...."
"For the women?"
"Ah yes! For the women...I really can't think of anything...other than have them experience the pain of childbirth over and over again, and once they have gotten used to the pain, increase it tenfold."
"Thank you for your opinion, when you die I shall recommend you to the Human Resource department of this Hell for hiring or consulting. Thank you for coming. I am Enma Daio, and I hope that you have enjoyed your stay in Hell, good bye."
After hearing the words 'good bye' Jiraiya found himself flying upwards, all the while he was screaming since he was experiencing punishment number one, he was rushing t'ward the heavens, or earth aka the land of the living, while his genitals were tied on a rock that continually pulled on the cord.
A few agonizing hours later, Jiraiya found himself sitting bolt upright in his bed in the hotel room screaming his lung out, the other occupants did not hear his cries of agony and anguish, due to a number of sound proofing jutsus around their bed, which were placed that in order for all of them to wake in the morning at their leisure.
After Jiraiya's screaming died down, or more like his lungs flew out of his mouth and he had to swallow them to get them back in, he decided against continuing his screaming in fear that his lung would pop out again, something that he had previously thought impossible.
After making sure that his body parts were all intact and completely functional, Jiraiya skipped his little chant and returned to sleep via Neiri no Jutsu.
Once he was asleep he had no dream that he could or would remember in the morning once he and the other occupants of the room woke up to a new day. Jiraiya would remember his nocturnal visits to the past and hell, but he would not remember that he had also bumped into his past self, which led to his past self's finding Myobokuzan and the Gama Clan. He would not remember that he was the cause for Minato to create the Hiraishin no Jutsu, since his sudden appearance in front of his pupil had surprised him into using a technique that would be invented on the spot and would take some time to figure out how it was done. Jiraiya would also not remember scaring the living out of Orochimaru some time after the Hebi-teme was born, by suddenly appearing in front of the infant in and for some reason drunkenly introduce himself, dance and all, which would be part of the reason why Orochimaru would one day betray the leaf and become a nuke-nin.