Chapter Seven: Still need you...
The music slowly filled Shuichi as his band members began playing. It had been a full three days since he had seen Yuki yet he still felt empty knowing that he could cause Yuki to be hospitalized especially after their meeting. It had been difficult trying not to care for him as he sat only a few feet away but Tohma had also been there so he tried instead to focus on the movie which hadn't been the best of ideas. Even after three days he was still having nightmares about chainsaws and running from madmen. The live audience of the TV show were impatient but dead silent as Shuichi began to sing for them.
Please, please forgive me
But I won't be home again
Maybe someday you'll look up
And barely conscious, you'll say to no one
Isn't something missing?
You won't cry for my absence, I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't someone missing me?
Shuichi didn't even know why he agreed to perform today especially when he felt so down though he believed that it had something to do with the mask he wore every time he performed or even went out on public. He never acted like the goofball that Yuki and Bad Luck knew anymore. He gave that all away the moment he became Chaos instead choosing a more relaxed, cool vocalist as his persona. But just singing the song he had first written after he left Yuki was beginning to make him feel nostalgic.
Please, please forgive me
But I won't be home again
I know what you do to yourself
I breathe deep and cry out
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't someone missing me?
The only reason he was even singing this song was because it had been a request from the audience. They had desired to hear the first song he had ever written after he became Chaos. Of course this song had been about his feelings for Yuki after he had left yet they didn't know that. Everyone wondering who they were hadn't worn off since their first interview and it was beginning to take its toll on Rage who seemed even more aggressive than usual. However Mello and Sorrow were doing alright since they didn't care much about anything outside of the Touching Darkness.
And if I bleed, I'll bleed
Knowing you don't care
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Shuichi could feel his old emotions for the novelist beginning to resurface simply by singing this song in Tokyo where Yuki was more likely to hear it. At least Bad Luck hadn't accompanied with them during this interview. The audience erupted in applause as the song finally ended. Touching Darkness said farewell to the host and the audience before leaving the stage as another guests walked on. K ushered them off to their black limo that was waiting for them patiently by the back door.
Instead of following his band mates back to their shared apartment, Shuichi had convinced K to allow him time to himself as long as he wore a disguise and didn't reveal himself to anyone. Following the direction his feet took him, Shuichi walked about Tokyo aimlessly trying to clear his head before he returned to Sorrow, Mello and Rage. Finally stopping Shuichi looked around himself as the lights flickered on illuminating the foot path that he was following. Sighing, he took a seat on a bench in the park he usually ran to when they had a fight, the park where they had first met.
Without removing his disguise of a simple hat and a pair of sunglasses, he watched as the few people that walked past him hurried to return home. He once knew that feeling when he was with Yuki. Every day he would rush home directly from NG to be with Yuki however quite often he was busy with his novels which meant that Shuichi had spent the nights alone instead of with the one person he had desired. He had been happy then, not that he wasn't happy with his current lifestlye it was just more complicated. Sighing he closed his eyes trying to suppress the memories.
After half an hour or what he thought was half an hour, Shuichi felt someone stop by the bench and sit down beside him. Deciding to remain where he was regardless of whether he was in any danger or not he opened his eyes to the night sky. For a few minutes they sat simply in silence enjoying the quiet company that each had to offer.
"I know it's you beneath that disguise...Shuichi." the man said suddenly.
Shuichi looked into the face of Eiri Yuki behind his glasses. That's just what I need know, Shuichi thought. Yuki continued to stare at him even though Shuichi hadn't uttered a word.
"Shuichi, why won't you just talk to me? I already know about the deal you made with Tohma. You don't have to worry I-"
"Please, Yuki, I only came here to think." Shuichi said calmly, without turning to him. If I let him get close to me again he'll only end up back in the hospital, he thought sadly.
Yuki listened to what Shuichi said and sat there waiting until he was ready to talk to him. With every growing second he could feel his anger rising again like it often did in the past when Shuichi was around him. Except this time it was out of impatience in waiting for Shuichi to talk and not waiting for him to be silent so he could continue his work. Yuki smiled as fond memories, the only he had returned to him as he sat beside his ex-lover.
"I don't read your books but K told me that you actually referred to me in a dedication." Shuichi finally said not sure of what to say.
Yuki looked at Shuichi who had taken off his glasses and was looking up at the night sky, eyes gleaming with joy. They joy that Yuki could see in Shuichi's eyes reminded him of the past when he would bounce around unlike Chaos. He was about to say something when he heard the undeniable ring tone from Shuichi's phone.
"Hello?" Shuichi said picking up his phone.
"Where are you? You've been gone for five hours and Sorrow has gone into a fit since you're not back yet!" Rage yelled through the phone. Shuichi had no doubt that Yuk had heard every word spoken since he had to pull the phone away from his ear. Shuichi sighed to himself as Rage continued to rant. He could feel Yuki's anger about the situation rise which wasn't good for his health. Suddenly, he heard Rage's voice muffled as the phone was pulled away from him and another spoke.
"Chaos...come home soon...I'm lonely without you here." Sorrow said desperation clearly in his voice.
"I'll be home soon." Shuichi promised ending the call.
Turning to Yuki, he smiled politely replacing his sun glasses even though it was now pitch black outside. Yuki noticed that the gleam in is eyes was still present. Without even saying good bye he began to walk away.
"Shuichi, I still need you" Yuki said as Shuichi walked past him.
Shuichi looked back at the novelist. "Need is different from love." Shuichi didn't look back again.
Sorry it took so long to update...Honestly, I didn't plan for this chapter to be so long but oh well...that's how it is. The song is Missing by Evanescence I heard it and felt that it worked really well with Shuichi's feelings at the moment anywho...
Poll People...Who should Shuichi end up with?
1- Eiri Yuki
2- Sorrow
3- Hiro
4- Ryuichi
5- Tohma (by some odd twist of fate)
Vote by review! I shall go by majority of votes and that's how the story shall turn...
Thanks for the reviews...
animegirl2781, RiverSakima, bunnykim89, sonata hirano, EmoLollipop, Yana5, ZexionVI 008, Island Honey, edenforest1
~MidnightEmber~