So how did they end in the current situation? The current situation was a wailing baby Beetlejuice who just didn't stop crying. Lydia didn't already remember what made her yell, 'You are acting like a baby!' It could be anything, Beetlejuice was acting like an overgrown child half of the time. Kevin was just laughing at the whole ordeal not understanding the crucial circumstances – they had to turn him back to normal! But how? And couldn't the baby just shut up for a second for Lydia to gather her wits?
"Don't just stand over there, Kevin, do something. Show some responsibility!"
"Why me? It was you who said the words," the boy retorted.
'I said the words, but why did it happen? Beetlejuice only transformed on his words. Is it because the juice inside me? But the mystery solving can wait, my eardrums are going to burst!' Lydia took the baby into her arms, rocking him slightly, as she saw mothers did. She knew about babies next to nothing but even she was able to do some basic stuff. "Maybe we should give him to his parents till we find the solution?"
"I doubt BJ will appreciate it," Kevin disagreed with a cringe.
"As if that concerns me," Lydia remarked with a huff.
It didn't, so why was she in the Neitherworld in the first place? After the beauty contest disaster she swore not to come back and had been ignoring all Kevin's mirror invitations for three months. But that didn't mean that she couldn't think about the Neitherworld and its occupants.
One thought was especially bugging: if Beetlejuice continued to act like he did, Kevin would turn into a similar monster and Lydia couldn't allow that to happen. Sick or not, alive or not, Kevin could not be as mean as Beetlejuice, not in that afterlife. She also remembered Ginger's plea for her to help Beetlejuice. Lydia was sure that the old Beetlejuice could be returned if she uncovered what happened five years ago.
She was taken out of her musings but a sharp pain in her nipple. She jumped up almost throwing the baby onto the floor. A tiny pair of hands was on a quest to get into her blouse. "Kevin, does BJ have any bugs' stash around here? The baby might be…hungry." She released another squeak as Beetlejuice pulled onto the other nipple. Why wasn't she wearing a bra that day?
"I get the bugs and you think how to change him back. You just have to say something, like 'You act like a grownup' and that's it, right?"
"Could be." Kevin left for a bug hunt and Lydia put little BJ onto the floor, where he instantly became very interested in the crack between the boards, or most probably what was stuck there. "Fortunately, he doesn't fly around." She instantly covered her mouth, she could say something else, something that could turn the situation into even more unfortunate one. "You are a grownup now," Lydia stated. No result. Only the baby began to wail once again.
"Mummy!!!"
Lydia rushed to aid, discovering BJ has gotten a spinster. "This is turning absurd." She took the baby into her arms and went to look what was taking Kevin so long – the house must be crawling with beetles.
"Can't you do something, miss Lydia? The beetles all run away the moment they hear him. Beetle hunt requires complete silence not to mention stealth," Kevin snapped, loosing another beetle from his tactical trap upon Lydia's entering Beetlejuice's bedroom.
"What can I do?"
"You are a woman, right? You must have some motherly instincts or something."
"Well…" 'Kevin is right, I must at least try to calm Beej down.' "Don't worry, mummy will take care of the boo-boo, but you stay still, okay?" And he did. Lydia's eyes widened in shock – he obeyed her, the Ghost with the Most obeyed her. She was taken out of her reverie by a finger being poked into her nose.
The war with the spinster was quick so no more wails from Beetlejuice. "Mummy kiss better!" Lydia rolled her eyes, but kissed the small finger. "BJ loves mummy!"
At that even Kevin momentarily lost interest in his prey. "What was that?"
"Don't fall for the act, Kevin. Babies are all like that, innocent and sweet and when they grow up they turn into outright monsters. Beetlejuice is a perfect example of that evolution. And what's that?" Lydia asked, gesturing to an unfamiliar closet with heavy chains and a padlock on them, which she didn't saw in the darkness on her previous visit.
"No idea. Beetlejuice told everybody not to even touch it."
"Another skeletons' closet?"
"No idea."
Lydia looked around once more, rocking the baby to keep him distracted. There were some additions, but she was more surprised but what she didn't find in the room. None of her photos as in the whole house, and the grand mirror was missing too. "How do you write messages to me if there is no mirror here?"
"I have one in my room. Can you believe it? When I asked BJ how he communicated with you, he had no clue about it. It was Jacques who told me to use a mirror. Aha!" The cry of victory was followed by presenting the baby with a fat beetle which he instantly consumed. "His head doesn't seem to have room for anything but money."
"What happened to the winnings, by the way?"
"Well, most of it went for to the house."
"House?"
"Well, he had a promise with Ginger and Jacques that they would buy the house out on the first opportunity, so they did."
"He kept a promise?"
"Well, not willingly of course. But it sorted a lot of problems with the landlord. So the Road House is totally ours now. BJ also bought me this." Kevin took out a silver chain form under his shirt and Lydia gasped seeing the letters hanging from it: BJ&KEV=FRIENDSTODEATH. "For our anniversary. I gave him a tie."
"A tie?"
"Year, a flashing one. Looks really cool in a nightclub or a party."
"A nightclub?"
"Year, Beetlejuice goes, sometimes."
"Looks like Beetlejuice has one Hell of a private life," Lydia remarked bitterly.
"Why not? Everyone has a right to have one."
"Indeed," Lydia agreed, but her heart was torn. She clearly remembered all those discussions she had with Beetlejuice about her having a private life of her own. He didn't remember her much, but he seemed to remember those talks very well acting upon them. And why shouldn't he? He was free from any kind of obligations, he was free form her to whom he had no obligations either. It still hurt though. And Lydia couldn't pinpoint the exact reason. Was it because Beetlejuice had no memories of the years they'd spent together? Because he tossed her aside like some insignificant part of his eternal afterlife?
"You know, maybe you should apologize for calling him a baby?" Kevin suggested.
Lydia instantly felt as the baby grew heavier. "You must be kidding me. Why should I apologize, he totally deserved it!"
"This is possible, but do you really want to nurse Beetlejuice for who knows how long?"
"You are probably right. Beetlejuice, I am sorry for accusing you of acting like a baby, you… don't do it," Lydia recited in a flat tone. Nothing happened.
"You need to put more feeling into it."
Lydia rolled her eyes, thinking the whole situation was still completely ridiculous, but complied. It took her saying the same phrase eight times for Beetlejuice to re-grow into adulthood. For a split moment Lydia thought it was another trick on his part, but his first words proved her wrong.
"What are we all doing in my room?"
For another split second Lydia noticed Beetlejuice glancing at the chained closet, at her and then onto the floor. That glance was full of pain and fear. What could that mean?
……………..
"Lydia!!!"
Lydia set up straight on her bed. That dream again. She couldn't call it a nightmare, because there was nothing horrible or scary about it. But that scream still haunted her. Has been for a month. Lydia still thought that the whole situation was laughable. She was in no danger, she didn't even fall from the cliff, just rolled on the ground not more than ten meters. Yes, it hurt like Hell, because of the branches and twigs and all possible other things in the Neither Woods, but nothing life threatening.
It was Beetlejuice who cried out. Five and a half years ago she would've considered it totally normal. He always cried out her full name when she was in danger on when he was in desperate need for help. But now, when they were hardly on friendly terms… Yes, they were civil enough, but Beetlejuice shared jokes only with Kevin, so it usually happened that Lydia was mostly a tag along 'because Kevin thought it would be more fun with her', which it usually wasn't, to her anyway. And then that hike plan came up.
Lydia decided to participate to stretch her limbs after finishing another long project. So when she got back up on the cliff wanting to say something like, 'You could've helped instead of just standing here', her words died in her throat upon seeing the state Beetlejuice was in. He was shaking, his hand on his chest, as if he was going to have a heart attack. His eyes were full of pure fear. Fear for her life. Lydia wanted to ask if he was okay, but he disappeared the moment she stepped towards him.
A month passed since that hike and there was no contact from the world of the dead. Lydia wanted to go herself to check on things and whatnot. She was worried about Beetlejuice, she was sure something was not right with him. She thought like that at the very beginning because of his attitude towards her, but now she was sure. Something was amiss about him. And the fact that he had no heart… Kevin confirmed it, saying that he saw Beetlejuice come apart at least ten times and heart was not among the pieces. But how could it be?! Beetlejuice needed heart for his juice to work, for him to exist! Lydia remembered when his body parts were placed into different parts of the Neitherworld by his enemies. He would've evaporated in a day if the parts hadn't been put together again. And Mister Big had the heart. Lydia saw it with her own eyes. So where could it go? He couldn't just lose it, could he?
Lydia already was in bed when she heard a knock on a window. She threw a glance at her window. She had an apartment on the fourth floor, who in his right mind would throw stones at her window in the middle of the night? The knock repeated, but she didn't notice any motion by the window. And then she got it, not the window – the glass. She was in seconds by her vanity table mirror. However the one looking at her was not Beetlejuice. He looked a lot like him though: unruly white hair, dark circles around the eyes (his were lilaceous), a wide grin, but Lydia couldn't determine if the teeth were also uneven and green.
"Hello, miss Lydia."
"Kevin?"
"Yep. Did I wake you up?"
"Yes, but it's okay. Are you?..."
"Yep, I am as good as dead. Two weeks already."
"Two weeks… I wish I could be there," Lydia said with sympathy.
"What for? I had no funeral."
"To lesser your sufferings, hold your hand…"
"No need. BJ somehow felt that it was time and sent me to my room. One moment I was alive and the other wasn't, nothing melodramatic. I actually thought there would be some TB crisis, but nothing happened. The juice must've helped with that too."
"I am glad then. I think," Lydia said, hesitant about how to talk about the topic. As Ginger said, 'Death is personal.' "Do you use it already?"
"The juice? Not yet. It still grows. But I am floating already!" Kevin announced with pride. "Beej teaches me something new every day."
"You look a lot like him now, like you are… related."
"Yeah, it's kinda cool, isn't it? Juno said the same thing. But I think it is the other way around, Beetlejuice must've looked like me when he was alive, blond hair and everything. I won't mind him being my great-great-great ancestor of course. It's good that the juice inside me prevented my rebirth in this world. I could've ended on the other end of the Neitherworld."
"Rebirth?"
"Well, I was supposed to appear as a newborn in some family and then grow up, but I remained here with BJ. Being Nexty, as BJ calls me, does have its advantages, I even cut the line to Juno's office. Inspected me like prize animal, really," he complained with a huff.
Lydia chuckled at his show of abused dignity. "So did you pass the inspection?"
"Seemed so. Ordered me not to turn out as crazy as Beetlejuice and talk to you actually."
"To me? But I and thus Juno person have never met." 'She must've known about me as the only breather in the Neitherworld, but she can't know anything about my personality, right? Why would she be even interested?'
"Well, she said so. That's why I am calling. BJ is leaving for three days and I wonder if you have some spare time to babysit me."
"Aren't you old enough not to need a babysitter?"
"Well yeah, but it will be extremely boring without him and Doomie, so you could keep me company."
"Where is he going for so long?"
"Las Vigorous."
"Does it have any semblance to Las Vegas?"
"One and only. Casinos, marriage chapels and flashing lights," Kevin answered, his look wishful.
"Yes, Kevin, I'll come tomorrow in the morning, okay?"
"Perfect," Kevin agreed with a wide smile, confirming Lydia's guess about his teeth: they were indeed uneven, but not green, yet at least.