AN: This is my last installment. Thank you all for reading! Please review at the end!

CHAPTER THREE: Haven't Forgotten

After leaving Lee before dawn I took a leisurely stroll while heading back to the river and the rest of civilization.

New Caprica. My new world. Things would be different here, and not necessarily for the better. I would not live my dream life. Nothing would be "perfect". But I could be comfortable and satisfied. I would find something else to fill my time now that flying was over. I would find a way to care for Anders. I could make him happy, I thought.

And that was how, an hour after dawn, I ended up down by the river in front of a priest and a few witnesses promising to love and cherish Samuel Anders for the rest of my life. I didn't exactly feel the love and joy a bride might be expected to feel, but deep down I was content.

Sam smiled at me with his big goofy grin and I couldn't help but smile back. When I'd woken him up and told him I wanted to get married that morning he'd first flashed me that ridiculously hopeful grin. He'd kept it with him ever since.

After getting married we walked hand in hand through our little shantytown together and he kept shouting out greetings and spreading the good news to every friend we met. I just smiled a thin smile and kept his arm around me. I couldn't bring myself to say much of anything to any of them.

Then I saw Lee. He was talking to his father, but when he saw Anders and I approaching he walked dazedly over to meet us. He looked like an disheveled old-fashioned cartoon character recently hit in the face with a frying pan. The Admiral must have told him the joyous news.

I briefly wondered if he knew yet that the Admiral had agreed to allow Sam and I to leave Galactica. There was no way I could stay on the old bird and have to face Lee every day for eternity.

When Anders saw Lee he took his arm away from where he'd draped it possessively across my shoulder and walked jovially over to greet him.

"Hey man! Did you hear the news? We're hitched! We got married, can you believe it?" Lee just kept staring at me.

"No. No, I can't believe it," he answered dully.

"Yeah, no, it was crazy," Sam continued, oblivious, "She comes down, she wakes me up, she pops the question, she drags me down to the priest and bang! Like that! We're married." Sam still couldn't stop grinning. I wished he hadn't said "she" quite so much. Lee was bound to pick up on it. My intention was to sever our ties to each other quickly, and Sam had sure helped that along. He'd be even more upset now that he knew I'd been the aggressor.

"So it was your idea…" Lee clarified.

This was it, the push that would make him hate me forever, but keep him safe from me as well. I wanted to cry, but bluffed a smile instead.

"Yeah. It was my idea."

Sam finally caught up on the tension. "Do you guys want a minute to, uh, you know, talk?"

All he knew was that we were old friends. That was all he needed to know. I'd never even mentioned Zack to him, let alone my feelings for Lee, because I preferred him ignorant of what I'd lost. I prayed quickly that Lee wouldn't tell him anything.

But Lee didn't want to talk to either of us. He turned away from me and offered a hand to Sam. "Congratulations, Sam," they shook hands heartily, "and good luck," Lee added, "you're going to need it."

This last he said staring me straight in the eye. Then he just walked away.

Even though I'd known how he'd react, his barb still hit its mark. I bluffed that stupid smile and continued making my rounds with Anders but I could feel my soul shriveling ever so slowly, a tire leaking air. But I was Kara Thrace Anders now and I could suck it up. I wouldn't cry. Not now, not ever. It was better this way, I reminded myself again and again.

Three weeks later he and Dee got married on Galactica. Another woman took the name I'd coveted; the one I'd once dreamed would be mine. Kara Adama would never exist, not in this universe. Dee Adama would be the one to stand beside Lee.

Sam and I began our civilian lives on New Caprica. I never built that house, but after my one soul-searing night with Lee there, I never really wanted to. Instead, sometimes when I was alone and refused to allow my heart to retrace the past my feet did, and I'd find myself standing in that clearing. I'd lie down there and stare at the stars or search for the calming bulk that was the Galactica, orbiting high above me. I never allowed myself to consciously miss him or to regret my decision, although sometimes I did unconsciously dream that I'd married Lee instead. Those nights were the best but the mornings were the worst.

Then the Cylons attacked again and everything changed again. I went through all that shit with that mother frakker Leoban. I almost believed that I had a daughter. I almost wanted one too.

Then Glacatica came back and made its triumphant rescue and I was back on the ship with Lee. It had been over a year, but he'd never forgiven me. He was different, and so was I. He was pudgy and soft, no longer the fighter, and I was just a little more tortured.

It was agony seeing him everyday and trying to work and act like nothing had happened. It was much worse then dreaming about him back on the planet and knowing nothing would happen. Then, at least, I wasn't confronted with him and his devoted wife every frakking minute of the day.

Everyone noticed we were no longer the buddy-buddy team we'd once been. Everyone saw the change but no one knew its source, not even Dee or Sam. I wondered if they suspected it. Dee seemed wary of me. Sam just turned a blind eye.

Now here we are in this boxing ring, beating the shit out of each other. People have noticed now. There is no Admiral, no President, no referee to stop us. No figure of authority will prevent this battle now. I'm not sure if any of them ever could. Events have built up to this moment for a very long time.

The spectators are waiting on the sidelines and taking bets. Some of them may even be wondering briefly at the source of our combined rage. No loving friends are here to stop me. Helo is long gone, and he is the only one who loves me enough to prevent this.

Our audience keeps cheering, but they can't feel what I feel. They don't feel each of Lee's blows as an accusation, just as poignant as the verbal ones I know he's dying to fling at me. I keep fighting. I believe in this ring and its purpose. Only here can I confront the man I love and hate, made promises to and abandoned. We fight and spar and vent all our anger.

At the end of our match we're each exhausted. And somehow, inexplicable to me, we end up collapsing into each other's arms, using each other for support.

The crowd is thinning now that they realize we won't be fighting any more. Bets are withdrawn and witnesses leave disappointed. Over Lee's shoulder I see Dee and Anders walk away, each with kicked-puppy expressions. I'm glad they've all dispersed. This moment is meant for me and Lee and I don't want to share it with anyone else.

All I can feel is Lee, back in my arms where he belongs. Hundreds of days and nights I told myself our separation was for the best and tried to suppress the aching in my heart. But no more. Consequences be damned, I've longed for him for far to long and now here he is, with me.

Tomorrow I will fight this. Tomorrow I will feel regret. Today I will feel whole for just a moment and allow myself to forget.

"I missed you," I slur against his neck. I'm still disgusting a bloody and beaten but it just doesn't seem to matter anymore.

"I mished you too," he mutters back through his own blood and pain, "I missed you too."

I can't help but smile.

AN: The end! Hope you all enjoyed it. Please review to tell me what you think. I've been working on this for a while and I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :)