Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any characters/places you recognize. That all belongs to JK Rowling! I only play in the world she's created.

Chapter Nine:

January

Lily

I yawned, stretched, and sat up, rubbing sleep out of my eyes. I pushed back my Gryffindor hangings and looked at the alarm clock: 7:59. Wrinkling my nose, I prepared myself for the blaring nose of my alarm…three…two…one…

BEEEEEEP!

A heartbeat passed and one second later, groans filled the room. "Awww, Lily!"

Alice moaned, "Howabout we get you a nice alarm clock for your birthday? One with nice wake-up sounds…like birds or the ocean. Oh! I have an idea! Let's get the one that generates a sunrise?"

"Yeah, cause we really want to wake up to bright lights," Aliya said sarcastically.

I held up my hands in surrender, even though I knew they couldn't see me. "C'mon, guys—"

"Girls," interrupted Lizzie.

"Girls," I continued. "Breakfast is in fifteen minutes!"

"Great, wake me up then," Aliya said, and I heard hangings being wrenched closed. I rolled my eyes and gathered my shower things. I dumped all my stuff next to a white, gleaming bathtub. I might as well enjoy my fifteen minutes, right?

Oh, yeah…I forgot something. Pointing my wand at the darkened room, I put one hand on the door protectively. "Lumos!" I whispered, filling the room with light before I slammed the door shut, ignoring the cries of my friends.

Ahh, what a typical Saturday.

••••••

James

"James, wake up," a voice said in my ear. I yawned and batted wildly in front of my face.

"Go'way."

I heard a huff and a sigh before the Voice moved on. "Sirius…"

Rolling over, I blocked out the sounds of the evil Voice and tried to drift off into dreamland again. My dream involved something about Honeydukes, Zonko's, and pranking.

"Peter?" the Voice was insistent. I heard another huff before the Voice was back by my bed. "James, your mum's downstairs wearing a bikini and demanding to see the Headmaster."

"WHAT?!?!" I screamed, jumping out of my bed and tripping over a laughing Remus. "Wait—what? It was a joke?"

Remus grinned and nodded.

I moaned. "Ewwww, Remus…must—remove—nasty—images—before—brain—explodes!"

I sat dejectedly back down on my bed. For a second there, one crazy second, I actually believed Mum was downstairs in a bikini. Imagine the emotional and mental scarring, not to mention the embarrassment!

"Remus, you're cruel. And twisted…" I said quietly. I sat for a few more seconds before my eyes lit up. "Wanna try it on Sirius?"

••••••

Lily

"What should we do on our glorious Saturday?" I asked, taking a bite of toast.

"Sleep, read, sleep, do something interesting, beat Lily at Gobstones, sleep…did I mention sleep?" Aliya said crankily.

"Hey, you guys slept in for thirty minutes!" I pointed out. "Surely you're not that tired!"

Aliya yawned. "I am."

I rolled my eyes and turned away from her. "What about you guys?"

"Well…it might snow later on today," mused Lizzie. "If it does, we could build snow figures."

I smiled. "Perfect."

••••••

James

"Jamsie," whined Sirius from his perch on his bed, throwing a ball up at the ceiling and catching it on the way down, "I'm bored."

I rolled over and looked at him. "Me too."

"I have an idea," Peter said, his eyes bright. "Let's make up a name!"

"A name?" Sirius yawned. "Nah."

"Why not?" Peter said, looking dejected.

"I wanna prank someone!" Sirius replied.

"Oooh! Yes!" Peter was excited.

"Remy?" Sirius said tiredly. Remus, from behind his scarlet hangings, groaned.

"Sirius, don't call me that! Anyway, I'm studying for the Charms test on Friday."

I made a face at his bed. "C'mon, Remus, don't be a party-pooper."

"All in favor of pranking, say 'aye'." Sirius interrupted in a self-important voice. "Aye."

"Aye!" Peter called.

"Aye, aye," I rubbed tiredness from my eyes. "C'mon, Remus…the test is next week and it's Saturday! No school for two days! You're outvoted, anyway."

Remus groaned again. "Fine…I'll do it…"

"Yes!" Sirius cheered, but I stayed silent. Something about his tone of voice made me think there was a 'but' coming…

"IF," continued Remus, "You study with me for an hour on Thursday."

"Fine," I grumbled.

"Who're we going to prank?"

I grinned wickedly. "Evans."

Sirius looked thoughtful. "No…let's prank her sister."

"Petty Petunia?" I asked, confused. "Why?"

"Well, it's kind of like a double prank. You know, like prank her and get her really mad at Evans!"

"Isn't that…cruel?" Remus asked hesitantly. I remembered how Evans had snapped after I'd told her the name of my owl and smiled.

"I'm in."

••••••

Lily

"Ok, let's make figures of ourselves!" Alice said excitedly as we bundled up in our winter clothes.

"Of ourselves? How about of random people? Like…ooh! The professors!" Lizzie said, equally excited.

"I call Professor McGonagall!" Aliya chipped in and I smiled at their antics.

"I'll do Dumbledore," I said, smiling as I slowly pulled on gloves. I felt…weird. My body was hot and I felt unsteady.

"Come on, Lily, let's go already!" Lizzie tugged on my arm and she raced out of the door, the others following. I followed slowly, feeling dizzy. Gods, something must be wrong with me! Maybe it was because I didn't get enough sleep last night…I counted back the hours mentally. I'd gotten at least nine hours!

I made my way outside and shivered as a blast of cold air hit my warm face, the only part of my body that was exposed. I felt cold, but warm and sticky at the same time. Ugh. My friends were nowhere in sight.

"Lily, what is the matter with you?" Aliya said curiously, running up to me. Her dark eyes were bright and she was flushed.

I shrugged, making my way to a snow-covered bench. It was snowing lightly now…not overly so but light flutters spiraling towards the Earth. I thought it looked magnificent. Brushing snow off the bench, I sat down. "I don't know, Al."

Aliya made a face at the nickname. "Lils, it's Aliya. Ah-lee-ya! A long 'l'!"

I smiled. Aliya was picky about her name, and hated it when it was said wrong. Her name was also rather unusual, so everyone usually said it like, 'Ah-li-ya' with a short 'l'. That made Aliya mad.

"…sick?" Lizzie's voice drifted to me as she and Alice approached. It didn't take a genius to figure that she was talking about me.

"Hey, guys," I said cheerfully to them. I didn't like it when people coddled me, so I was hoping to stave off sympathy by pretending to be fine.

"Girls." Lizzie said, her face a picture of resignation. I smirked at her, knowing that my constant use of 'guys' instead of 'girls' irritated her to no end.

"Lily, are you sick?" Alice asked me, her blue eyes and round face worried. She twisted a curl of her brown hair in one hand. "We can go to Madam Pomfrey."

"Guys—girls—I don't want to ruin today for you. I'll go myself, and get a Pepper-Up Potion. I'll be fine, and then I'll make the Headmaster, okay?" I hated to be a bother.

Lizzie shook snow out of her blond curls, looking like a dog. "Well, okay, Lils. If you're not back in fifteen minutes, we'll come look for you."

I smiled at her, warmed by her concern. "Yes, mum." Lizzie blushed and looked down, and I walked away, making a big production of saying, "One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…" as I walked away.

Lizzie sometimes did act like a mum. It was a weird quirk of hers that was, well, pure Lizzie.

I quickly went up to the Hospital Wing—Madam Pomfrey had insisted that it be placed somewhere close to the doors, so that injured students could be quickly transported to her domain.

"Excuse me, Madam Pomfrey?" I said hesitantly, peering in the Infirmary doors. Madam Pomfrey turned around and smiled warmly at me, her graying hair pulled firmly into a bun.

"Hello, Miss Evans. What can I do for you?" Madam Pomfrey said briskly, motioning me in. "Sit there, and put this under your tongue. You're looking quite pale."

I put the slim thermometer she'd handed me into my mouth. I felt a strange sensation pass through me, as though someone had poured water all over me, and the thermometer beeped. I opened my mouth to pull it out, but it shot out and 'said', "Thirty eight point five degrees Celsius."

Then, the thermometer shredded itself and floated to the wastebasket. Well. That certainly was an improvement on sitting very still as our nasty thermometer took its time getting my temperature.

"Well, dear, that's not too bad, is it?" Madam Pomfrey said maternally, disappearing into her office and returning with a few bottles. "Here, take this, it's a mix of Pepper-Up Potion and Fever Reducer—"

I took the potion that she handed me and glugged it down. Urgh. It tasted awful, peppery and sharp and spicy and hot all at the same time…but I felt cold fire go through my body and I felt energized and alive.

I decided I didn't like that potion at all.

"Better?" Madam Pomfrey asked crisply, and I nodded thankfully. She gave me two bottles and pointed at the first, "That one is in case you feel feverish again, and that one is more Pepper-Up Potion. If you're sure you're alright, you may go."

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," I said, gathering up the potions.

"You're welcome, Miss Evans. If you must go outside, make sure you are warmly bundled up. There's a nasty virus going around—Mr. Potter! What happened to you?"

I turned and gasped. Potter looked absolutely horrifying! His skin was bright green and sagging, he had boils all over his body, his hair was greasy and bright yellow, and when he opened his mouth his tongue was spotted orange and his teeth were crooked. He tried to give me a cocky smirk, but his mouth ruined the effect.

"It was the Slytherins—Snape, mostly," Potter said, giving me a disgusted look. "They made me look horrible."

"I see no difference," I said snidely, sure he must've provoked Sev. "Actually—I do. I see an improvement."

"I'm wounded, Evans." Potter said dramatically, and Madam Pomfrey looked at me disapprovingly.

"Miss Evans, you are free to go," she said pointedly. I got the hint and fled.

••••••

James

"No, Remy, we'd need to make it powdered." Sirius said condescendingly and Remus rolled his eyes.

"Say that one more time, Sirius, and so help me…I'll hex you so badly you'll be out for a week!" Remus threatened uncharacteristically. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Whoa, Remus, calm down. What's wrong?"

Remus froze and his eyes flicked to the window. "N-nothing. It's just that…my mum's sick and I'm kind of worried."

"Again?" I said. "Hasn't she been sick for a couple of months?"

Remus' expression screamed 'deer-caught-in-headlights' and he tensed. "Yeah…um, the healers say that they think, um…at certain times each month she gets sicker."

I was confused. "What, is she like, a werewolf?"

"No!" Remus exclaimed sharply and I flinched. "No," he repeated in a softer tone. "I'm not sure what they mean."

Sirius was looking sick and said, "Girls are weird…and nasty…and my girl cousins all get vicious each month. I don't know why."

I shrugged. "I dunno…but anyway, we need a spring, so that when she opens the letter she'll get blasted with the stuff."

Remus looked uncomfortable and he was all stiff and tense. "Guys," he ground out. "I really need to go. My mum needs me…see you in a few days!"

I opened my mouth and shut it bewilderedly as Remus grabbed an empty bag, threw some random clothes in it and flew out the door.

Sirius shuffled through his clothes and looked at me. "Why did he take my swimming trunks? Is he going swimming with his mum?"

I groaned.

******

"And…it's done!" Peter said excitedly, presenting two identical envelopes to me with a flourish.

"Nice going, mate," I said absently and he beamed. Really, it was simple to keep Peter happy.

Sirius sulked in the corner because I had let Peter design the spring, and he was feeling left out. "Well, let's try it already," he said snippily. "If it doesn't work then our plan doesn't work, genius."

I suppressed a groan. He was being so…Sirius! "Do you want to test it, Sirius?"

"No, why would I?" Sirius snapped back. "How about Peter tries it, because he's so talented and all."

I narrowed my eyes at Sirius and turned to Peter. "Pete, mate, can you leave Sirius and I alone for a second? We're going to open the envelope and we'll need someone to fetch Madam Pomfrey if we get hurt."

"Ok!" Peter said cheerfully, walking down the dormitory stairs. I turned to Sirius.

"What is your problem, Sirius?" I asked him.

Sirius crossed his arms. "Nothing!"

"Why'd you talk to Peter like that? He didn't do anything!" I persisted.

"Why'd you let him do it, James? He always messes stuff up!"

I couldn't believe how…jealous Sirius was being. "Sirius, I was being nice! He wanted to do it, and I don't see anything wrong with the envelopes. What's the matter?"

Sirius frowned and looked at the floor, his leg swaying back and forth. "He's not your friend! He's…a hanger-on! Did he miss the Sorting with us? No. Did we invite him to prank with us? No! He…interfered!"

I suddenly realized what the problem was. Sirius was jealous of Peter…jealous that Peter was replacing him.

This was way beyond my maturity level. This was a girl issue! Boys didn't deal with this stuff! We just punched each other on the shoulder and all was resolved!

Damn.

I took a deep breath. "Sirius…Peter doesn't have any other friends. He admires you, Remus, and me. You're still my best mate, right?" I nudged him but his gaze remained on the floor.

Then, before my startled eyes, he lunged for the envelopes and turned it towards me, opening it in my face.

I gasped, and gagged as multi-colored powder exploded in my face, coating my body with the stuff. It heated up slightly and disappeared, and I turned to Sirius. "What the heck?"

Sirius took a good look at me and exploded in laughter. "Ha! Look at yourself, James!"

I rushed to the battered mirror next to my bed and groaned. I looked hideous! "SIRIUS!" I yelled, knowing that he was the one that mixed the powders together. "How long will this last?"

"Two days," gasped out Sirius, who was still laughing.

I gloomily sat down on the bed and Peter came rushing up. "Ha!" he giggled (manly men don't giggle). "James!"

I frowned at him. "I think your spring works great, Pete."

"Ooh!" Peter gasped, his eyes widening, "I have an idea!"

"What?" Sirius said tightly. I gave him a look and he relaxed slightly.

"You should go to Madam Pomfrey and blame it on the Slytherins!" Peter said, grinning, and Sirius and I looked at each other slowly.

"You are a genius." I said before I dashed out of the room.

******

When I reached the Hostpital Wing, I head Madam Pomfrey say, "You're welcome, Miss Evans." I groaned slightly. Well, at least I could say the Greasy Git didthis to me.

Madam Pomfrey continued, "If you must go outside, make sure you are warmly bundled up. There's a nasty virus going around—" I entered the Hospital Wing., "Mr. Potter! What happened to you?"

I put on a long-suffering, wounded look and tried to smile reassuringly at Evans. She turned, gasped, and looked disgusted.

"It was the Slytherins—Snape, mostly," I said with a troubled sigh, giving Evans an accusative look. "They made me look horrible."

Evans stiffened and said sharply, "I see no difference…actually—I do. I see an improvement."

I could've laughed at her feeble insults. "I'm wounded, Evans."

Mdadm Pomfrey shooed her out and turned to me. "Really, I don't usually take away points, but this! How many students were there?"

"There was, um…" I thought about how many I should say. "Three or four, Ma'am. All Slytherins."

Madam Pomfrey softened at the 'Ma'am', before she peered at me suspiciously. "And was is provoked, Mr. Potter?"

"Well, I was on my way back from outside, because I was enjoying the snow, and I ran into Snape and knocked him over. I honestly didn't mean too, but he got mad and hexed me…and then, Sirius didn't see them and tried to hit me with a snowball and missed, and hit some other Slytherins behind Snape, and they thought I did that on purpose and hexed me too." I rambled, giving her a pleading look.

"Mr. Snape does not hang around with other Slytherins—he's very anti-social—and I don't know if a first year could do this, Mr. Potter."

"Snape only colored my skin, we learned the charm last week," I said truthfully. "The others were older, and not with Snape. Just near him, Ma'am."

Madam Pomfrey was muttering spells as I spoke, and she finally relented. "Thirty points from Slytherin, and ten from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter…for lying to me."

My mouth dropped open. "What?"

"You heard me, Mr. Potter…now, I've gotten most of this off, the rest will wear off soon. Good-day, Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey gives me an innocent smile and disappears into her office, leaving me to gape in astonishment.

I'd bet she was a Slytherin.

******

I examined myself in the mirror and thought very uncharitable thoughts about the nurse. She left my skin green! Green, for Merlin's sake! Slytherin colors!

"…and then I said, 'Get away from me, you greasy git,' and then he said, 'At least I'm not a poncey Gryffindork,' and I said, 'No, you're a slimy, sneaky, slithery Slytherin,' and then he gets all mad and whips out his wand, I'm all, 'Expelliarmious!' and then he gets thrown across the room…" Sirius was telling Peter, waving his arms around excitedly.

I knew that he was making this up because Sirius didn't know 'Expelliarmus' (not Expelliarmious'), and he probably hadn't run into Snape at all.

"Guys." I inturupted. "Let's write the letter."

"Who's going to write it?" Sirius asked, pausing in his retelling of the Sorting. "None of our handwritings look like a girls."

"I have a dictation quill, Sirius. Bought it in Zonko's."

"No…I have a better idea," Sirius said wickedly. "It'll make Petty Petunia reaal jealous."

"What?" Peter asked as I Wingardium Leviosa'd some writing supplies over to me.

"Write it like a boy, and say that since all the boys like her, they'll do tons of stuff for her," Sirius said, his eyes lit up with something…cold. And cruel.

I felt a small twinge at the maliciousness in his voice before I grabbed the quill and poised it over the parchment.

"I'll start," I said. "

" 'Petunia, I hoped you liked my gift. Very fitting, no? You said at Christmas that you wanted to look prettier, and I don't blame you for that at all. Now, you're at least twelve times prettier then you used to be. Don't worry. If I'm a ten on a scale…'

"Wait, let me scratch that out…

" 'A 'prettiness scale' from one to ten, you're only a negative thirty. That's a lot better then you were.'"

Sirius laughed and grabbed the quill and parchment. "Nice, James…my turn!"

"If they change handwriting it'll look suspicious," I pointed out but he waved that away.

"Whatever, James, we can re-copy the letter. It'll be fine. Now…" Sirius began talking and Peter and I joined in occasionally. This was a mean prank, but oh well.

Who cared? I didn't have to deal with Petunia.

******

I chewed idly on the end of my sugar quill as I thought about what to write. Every week I exchanged letters with my parents, but this was the first time I'd thought about—and decided to risk—writing Petunia.

Shifting on my bed, I pulled my hangers closed even though I was alone. It was near dinnertime, and if I sent them off soon they would arrive at night…so it wouldn't seem to weird for an owl to be swooping about.

I'll just start with Mum and Dad, I thought to myself. Hmm…

'Dear Dad,

How are you two? I'm really enjoying Hogwarts. It snowed today, and my friends and I made snow figures of all the professors. No, we didn't get in trouble—the Headmaster even awarding me points because my snow-Dumbledore was so accurate! He has an…odd…sense of humor.

My teachers are loading work up…it's horrible! I love Charms, though. I'm top in nearly all my classes—I'm tied for first in Potions (that's like chemistry) and third in Transfiguration.

I miss you a lot and can't wait for the summer! It'll be hard not to use magic, but that's alright. My friend, Aliya—the one with non-magical parents—and I were talking about our home life before Hogwarts, and I was wondering if I did weird things when I was younger. I knew I did them when I was eight and up, but I was wondering. Bet you were relieved when the letter came and you figured out why!

I miss you both a lot!

'Love, Lily'

There. That was good. Now…Petunia.

'Dear Tuney'—no. I scratched that out.

'Dear Petunia,

How are you? I hoped you enjoyed the Christmas Party, even though Potter and Black were being gits, as usual. Who was that boy that kept talking to you? He seemed nice.

Speaking of boys and nice, how's Nicholas? Did he get you a Christmas present? I bet he did…that's probably why you were blushing so much. Don't worry; I won't tell Mum. She'd freak, as usual, and you'd have to answer all the questions, and he would have to have dinner with you…Nicholas might run away.

Potter and Black have been surprisingly quiet, lately. They haven't pranked me at all. Weird, huh?

Oh! I have to tell you something: so today I was feeling ill, and went up to the Infirmary to get a potion,' Not a potion...I scratched that out, wishing there was such thing as a pencil in the Wizarding World. '…to get some medicine, and Potter was there…but he looked awful! His skin was all green and wrinkly, he had boils everywhere, his hair was nasty and greasy---and bright YELLOW—and his tongue was ORANGE and his teeth were gross.

It was hilarious. I should've taken a picture.

Well, I have homework! Miss you!

'Lily'

There. That did it nicely, without making any direct references to Hogwarts or magic. I whistled for Artemis as I sealed the two letters and wrote 'Mom and Dad' on one and 'Tuney' on the other.

Artemis swooped in, carrying a dead mouse in her beak.

"Artemis!" I groaned. "What did I tell you? Eat outside!"

Artemis hooted dolefully and looked at me with big amber eyes, as if to say, 'You called me.'

"Ok, ok, Art…you can eat it. Now, I need to you to take this to my house…and please go around to the back of the house, if you can understand me." While magical owls were a lot smarter then muggle ones, I wasn't sure if Artemis could actually comprehend human speech.

Artemis hooted again, held out her leg, and gulped down the mouse. I shuddered. "Gods, Art, don't do that before I ate! Or, actually, after I ate—just don't do that in front of me!"

I tied the two letters to my owl and let her fy away. My stomach rumbled, and as if on cue, Lizzie called up to me, "LILY! GET DOWN HERE FOR DINNER! OR WE'LL LEAVE YOU BEHIND!"

Lizzie was so ladylike and calm, don't you agree?

•*•*•*•

March

Lily

I ripped open Mum's reply letter eagerly, not caring that I was standing in the middle of a smelly Owlery, owls hooting loudly all around. I loved hearing from them, and I hadn't for the past month. That was forever, considering I wrote letters home every month.

''Lily-

How could you do such a thing to your poor sister? We will be having a talk during summer, young lady.

-Mum'

I blinked as I read the short, curt letter. What had I done? Had my letter upset Petunia that much? All I'd said was something about Nicholas and a boy, described Potter in the Hospital Wing (I'd thought she would've found that interesting) and, well…that was it.

So why was she mad? Maybe it was all a misunderstanding. I put the letter in my pocket and picked up the other one: a letter from Dad. Maybe he would explain:

'Princess,

I admit I'm confused. Now, I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt your sister, but please explain to me why you sent Petunia two letters, by different owls, and why when she opened it powder flew at her and turned her…hideous.

She threw your other letter away unopened. I hope you have a good explanation for this, my magical princess, or there will be consequences. Don't be too worried, though. I don't think you did anything and ignore your mother for now; she's just worried about Petunia. It didn't come off for a month…it came off yesterday.

Knowing Petunia, I don't think it would be best to write her right now. Just wait a little and then you can explain, privately to her, or publicly in a letter. We can make arrangements with this Dumbledore fellow.

On a happier note, congratulations with your classes! I always knew you were a smart girl. For dealing with your work, I suggest reading it all aloud AND taking notes at the same time. Then, you'll remember the material more and won't have to keep lugging books around.

I bet your ice statue was amazing, and yes you did do some pretty crazy stuff. I'll tell you about it later, as this letter is a regular novel!

I love you, Lily.

Dad'

I smiled at the letter. Dad always knew the right thing to say, like calling me my childhood nickname (my magical princess—if only he knew then!) in the middle of a scolding. I quickly scrawled a response on the back of the letter that basically said 'I have no idea what's going on' and sent it off, confused.

Wait—as I went to put Dad's letter in my pocket, another sheet of paper, folded, slipped out. I picked it up, noticing the angry dents in the paper. It was from Petunia.

My eyebrows raised, I started to read.

"My Magical Princess"—ha! Dad and Mum always liked you best, Lily…you didn't have to rub it in! How could you send such an awful letter? Like I care that you are attracting all the boys in Hogwarts, even if you're eleven?

Get a clue, Lily. I don't. I don't care about you. Gods, I can't believe you! If you're a ten on a prettiness factor of one to five, and I'm a negative thirty, well…you have no sense of…anything! If anything, YOU are a negative hundred.

Nobody cares about you, Lily Evans. Dad only wrote the letter to appease you—Mum's furious! Serves you right! Guess what? They're renting out your room to people now, and telling everyone you go to ' St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys', because you were so ugly and unfeminine that you got into a boys school.

I bet you could get in.

I hate you, and you're no sister of mine! I'm never speaking to you again, Lily Evans! You're a freak and an idiot!'

A few tears rolled down my face as I read the angry words again. What was she talking about? I didn't say anything about any of that. I thought Petunia was pretty…and I was ugly and awkward. I mean, she had smooth brown hair and pretty eyes, and a slim figure. What did I have? Carroty hair and weird green eyes, not to mention that I looked like a stick. Literally.

Also, what was that about boys? I didn't like boys! Boys were immature and annoying (i.e Potter) and had nothing better to do then be idiots. Why would I attract any boys?

"Lily! You won't believe what happened, it was hilarious—Lily? Lily?" someone's voice called up to me, before turning confused, since I ignored her. "Lils? Can you hear me?"

"Petunia wrote me a letter," I said slowly, and I heard Aliya gasp and run up the stairs.

"Really? What did it say? She hasn't written you since, what, Halloween?"

I held up the letter somberly. "She hates me now."

Aliya gasped. "Why? She seemed happy at the party."

I nodded in agreement. "My mum's furious, and my dad says that I wrote her two letters, from two different owls, and one of them shot powder at her when she opened it, and it turned her…well, Dad says 'hideous'. She didn't read the other letter, the one that I wrote, but the one that turned her hidous said some pretty bad things." I was rambling now, but Aliya just grabbed the letter and scanned it, her eyes going wide.

"YOU made her write this?"

"No, Aliya…someone else did. I'm sure of it," I said forlornly. Who would want to sabatoge my relationship with Tuney? None of my friends—they all said that they liked Petunia at the party—so it must be someone who knows me pretty well.

"We've got to find out who did this," said Aliya decisevly.

I nodded again and the two of us raced down the stairs and through the castle, wondering where to start looking.

••••••

James

"No, we should do it in the Great Hall!" I argued with Sirius. He rolled his eyes at me.

"How are we supposed to do that? Get up and spray ink all over him, and get into trouble?"

"So, Sirius—we could use my bucket," I pointed out but he snorted.

"We should do it outside his dorm!" Sirius said for the millionth time.

"No," I protested for the million-and-oneth time. "Then, he wouldn't show up for breakfast and won't get embarrassed!"

"Yeah, but he'd go without breakfast, and he'd get embarrassed during class—and if he misses that he'll get detention!" Sirius countered.

"Guys, just do it in both. That way, if one misses the other will hit," Remus said irritably. "Or, at least argue when I'm not around."

Sirius and I shared a look before I changed the subject. "I wonder if Evans' sister got the letter, and wrote back yet."

Sirius perked up. "I don't think so, because they surely would've been mad, right? And Evans seemed perfectly happy, and she still writes long letters home."

"I know," I said, an idea slowly forming. "We should trick Evans into telling us what happened."

"A splendid idea, James!" Sirius grinned.

Peter looked doubtful. "What if they find out it was us?"

Remus looked uncomfortable too. "I don't know, guys."

"C'mon, Remus! Be a Gryffindor! You're our friend, not our mum," I said, and Sirius nodded his head.

Remus paled and grappled with himself, before he nodded reluctantly. It was decided. Now all we needed to do was befriend Evans' crew.

Easy as pie, for us charming young boys, right?

They wouldn't know what hit them.

A/N:

I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for taking so long!!! School started and I was just overloaded with homework! I didnt evenTHINK of writing! I'm halfway through 10, so it won't take so long, promise!

A fairly unexciting chapter, by all means! Umm except for James/Sirius being prats and Petunia being mad and well, a couple other things, BUT James seems to be ignoring Lily quite nicely…except that would all have to change soon!James and Sirius' letter was quite mean, wasn't it? I also tried to show Lily's "Daddy's girl" relationship in her dad's letter, and I really tried to make Petunia's reaction canon-like. I hope I did them all justice.

On a different note, there will be two more chapters! Next one will be more of the two of them trying to find out different things (which will probably seep into next year. Lily can't figure out who did it THAT easily), and Petunia and Lily's face-to-face. Won't that be interesting?

I think I'm going to name the SERIES "The Life and Lies of Lily Evans and James Potter" (quite a mouthful, isn't it?), so what should I name the individual years/books? For example, Year One: _____ or Book One: _____. What do you all think? If you have any suggestions on titles, PLEASE pm me or review!

Speaking of reviews, did you know I didn't get one for the last chapter? C'mon, guys, you can do better then that. Give me at least ONE review for this chapter. Even though I was sick and throwing up, I wrote this for you. You all should be honored!

Lots of thanks to my beta, siriuslydangerous!

Review!

-Zanna1