Hours…it seemed like hours before any noise echoed in the tiny lagoon. Whispered breathing was silenced by the force that hung over his shoulders, something strong and heavy that ordered him to remain quiet as she hung on his words.

"I… don't deserve you, Evelyn and I never will."

The nocturnal animals seemed to have vanished, leaving not even a slight hum of natural clamor. The water had settled; their figures making only ripples as they inhaled and exhaled stealthily… listening, waiting, and deliberating.

Evelyn's shoulders slumped, and her gaze fell to her hands. Bringing them above the surface of the water, she awkwardly twittered her thumbs, a habit formed at a young age. Wet curls fell over her eyes, casting a shadow upon her normally bright features.

"I...I don't..." she was trying to understand him, to make sense of this cloud that had suddenly formed over them. She momentarily tensed, and immediately she raised her head up to stare at him, her eyes cold and angered.

Her gaze was now glued to his, as though she were searching for something that lay hidden there beneath. A spark lay under her pupils, that same determination that he had been, and still was, infatuated with.

"How could you even say something like that?" she finally asked, her voice growing timid with every word spoken. "How could you think…" she trailed off in a sigh, keeping her voice from cracking. Had she had gone further, she might have burst into tears.

Rick just stared as she suddenly latched onto him in a vigorous embrace; her arms pinning his to his sides, her warm body pressing into him forcefully and gripping him with every ounce of strength she had.

"Let me be the first to inform you, Mr. O'Connell, I am alive. And I am alive because of you." She snuggled into his bear shoulder, closing her eyes and breathing gently, regaining her composure.

His head fell backward and his eyes scanned over the darkened skies. At a lost he spilled out an argument. "Don't. Alex…he-"

"He brought me back, Rick, something that until death finds me again, I will never understand. Nevertheless, while Alex is the reason I am here, you are the reason I am alive. Can't you understand that?"

He wiggled from her grasp, pulling her arms from him and holding them back. His voice was terrified, a fear that she could never understand, a feeling that wouldn't haunt her as it did him. "I…can't, Evie, I just can't. I can't do this now and I may not be able to do it ever again."

She took a step forward reaching to him; however it only resulted in him taking a further step back, away from her. "What are you-?"

"I'm sorry." He started towards the shore line, turning away from her.

"Rick, don't… don't do this." her voice was pleading as she attempted to chase him. The water swished violently as she tried to close the distance. "Don't leave me..."

He paused, frozen in his tracks.

With those words his heart was shattered.

Evelyn eyes were streaming with tears; she choked out sobs and cries of agony and pain, altering the pattern of her breathing. Red faced, she brought a hand to her face to wipe away watery tears. Whilst Rick couldn't see her, he heard her shift in the water, "It's because of this, isn't it!?"

His head turned to see that she was looking at a scar on her stomach and he suddenly felt as though he were going to be sick. The length of a dagger; six inches long, a golden hand grip…a vile woman…a quick unexpected thrust…Evelyn crying out and falling to the ground, and a scream from a horrified husband who in mere seconds lost his whole world.

Rick chocked out a brutal sob as once again he relived the images. The pain, the blood, and the fact that he had to watch the very life drain from her while he sat back and could do nothing. He couldn't do it again…he couldn't bear to see her like that ever again.

That's why he had to leave.

"Oh, you infuriating man!" She cried frantically, "Stop thinking you can carry on your own, and believing that you are the only one suffering because of all this!" She had turned defensive again, anger mixing with the growing confusion. "Did you not see Alex? Did you not see John?"

He took a breath, "Evelyn-"

"You think it was easy for me, do you? Watching you cry over me, watching Alex and Jonathan suffer while I miserably took what I believed to be my last breath? Damn it, Rick, the one thing I kept thinking about wasn't that I was dying, it was the fact I was never going to see you again. And knowing that hurt more than the blasted dagger did!"

At this he slowly turned towards her, but still refused to meet her eyes again. Instead he watched as the damp sand settled and his own eyes eventually stared back at him. They were blood shot and glossed, masked behind a strong face and a somber lip.

She slowly placed a hand upon his shoulder, fearful that she may scare him off again.

He didn't brush it off, but his gaze hardened under her touch. "I can't do it again, Evie." He spoke calmer now, "I can't. I can't look at that scar and know that I'm responsible, or continue what we have knowing that one day I'm going to have to watch you die all over again. I can't handle it. I'm-I'm not… strong enough."

Her hand slid from his shoulder, down his arm and into the palm of his hand. She was starting to understand now. She could see that both guilt and weakness had taken over, leaving him in such the state that he was. She felt her own little ping of guilt for it had taken her almost a day to realize that he was in such distress. She probably believed should have seen it and should have anticipated it. She believed his silence was caused by fatigue, physical strain and injury. She probably never suspected that he would be emotionally strained as well.

O'Connell slightly swayed, swishing the water around him. His throbbing head pounded painfully against his temple like an irregular pulsating heartbeat. The physical damage from the past few days was reminding them that it was also as fresh as those emotional pains. Evelyn noted this quickly and in response she gave his hand a tight squeeze and leaned against his shoulder, supporting him completely, "You're stronger than I could ever be Rick, but just this once, let me be strong for you. Let me help you."

His head fell atop hers, and ever so slightly, he nodded. Something inside spoke to him, stating that it was a possibility that he-they could get through this and come out the other side.

~BEF