A/N: I'm so glad that this story has been so well received so far. Yes! XD So many hits for one chapter, it's insane. I just want to say thanks to my reviewers glos, blacksakura13, and Inspiration of Imagination. You guys rock, so I thought I'd acknowledge you. And thank you, readers for reading Xion's randomness in a way. On with chapter two.

Disclaimer: I have no association with Kingdom Hearts...other than the fact I PLAY it.

Chapter 2: Xigbar the Eccentric Sharpshooter

Now, I proceed on to Xigbar the Freeshooter, a middle-aged weirdo among ever somber middle-aged men. When I first met him, I could immediately determine that he despises acting his age. After all, what other grown man greets people by hanging upside down on the ceiling like a bat?

He is definitely full of surprises, even for someone who looks about forty-five. For instance, he often calls me "Xi-Xi", a term I loathe very much. It vaguely sounds like the nickname of some little girl, quite frankly. After the first time he called me by that atrocious nickname, I called him, "Xiggy." Believe it or not, he tolerated it.

Of course, the master of nicknames would like that!

Xigbar reminds me of Santa Claus except slimmer, more sarcastic, and has more of an edge to him. He really is a likeable person, despite his shortcomings such as the nickname habit he keeps in tow. Not only that, but he is more down-to-earth than the other five former apprentices, the forefathers of Organization XIII; they are real pains in the ass. Sorry, guys, for that cuss word! Or maybe I'm not. Whatever, I will press on like the trooper I know I am. The main reason I find Xigbar amiable is that he makes me burst into laughter.

Who knew that, for a second-in-command, he could do that?

But, honestly, Saix serves as the second-in-command and the one we both make fun of. Xigbar always tells me what the blue-haired moon worshipper says whenever the two of them have to go on a mission together. Considering that Saix usually says something preposterous, we laugh at his attributes as a crank. Sometimes, he even strides by us with his nose in the air, and we prefer to mention snidely that we spoke of the devil. If I could truly feel sorry for Xigbar, I would. After all, he has to put up with the Superior's kiss-up, a job that no one in HQ envies. Saix prefers to distance himself from—never mind. As much as I would love to rant about my least favored member, I need to say more about Xiggy.

He has raven hair streaked with ivory, which makes him look like a mutant skunk man. It's extremely interesting, his hair, due to the fact that he appears older with it than he really is. What also males him look older is a certain velvet eyepatch covering an empty socket where a yellow eye once blinked. Xiggy says that he lost it in some war he fought as a Somebody. Why he remembers that, I have no idea. I barely recall my own past, which I doubt I ever had. I apologize for talking incessantly about myself. Assuming that Xigbar received his ugly scar from that same war, I am ever amazed that he survived it. Then again, he probably redeemed himself with his expert sharpshooting. Xemnas didn't officially dub him the Freeshooter for nothing. In battle, he warps all over the place, so he kills an enemy in a matter of seconds.

Even while practicing with him sometimes, I find that I can never gain the upper hand and end up having a grumpy Marluxia shoving cure leaves down my throat. However, I admire Xigbar for persistently refusing to allow his prey opportunities for elusion. His guns amaze me every time I see them in action. Bright red lasers descend toward their targets, capable of impaling through an unlucky chest. The fact that these guns are wielded by a competent marksman makes Xig's skills all the more intriguing. I wish I had his weapons instead of a stupid giant key.

The two of us will talk about our patrols in the worlds, tossing our comments casually about each world. For example, I hate Atlantica due to the fact that I look terrible in a bra, and he is very unenthused about going to Wonderland.

Both worlds stink anyway in my opinion.

So, now, I will tell a story concerning Xigbar and me. The most interesting one that could possibly be divulged happens to be one when we both ended up in Wonderland with our partners. Of course, he had to battle alongside Saix, and I had to with Zexion, whom I had extremely mixed opinions. Trickmaster once again wandered our way while we had stared dully at those weird talking flowers.

"You would think Tricky would die by now!" I groaned as I took out my Keyblade.

Zexion sighed and rolled his cerulean eyes my way, an awful habit of his I detested. "These bosses never remain dead for long, Xion. I would think you'd know that by now."

I merely stuck my tongue out at him and leapt into action, faithful Kingdom Hey glinting in the dim sunlight that just barely penetrated the tree leaves. As I promptly whacked Tricky between the legs, he knelt down as HP orbs rained down toward us. A couple hits later on my part, and he was up on his oddly shaped feet once more.

"Any help here, guys?" I inquired, my eyes drifting irritatingly toward the men.

"I think you can handle this on your own," Zexion replied tersely.

Saix continued to remain idle, staring at his claymore that leaned against a tree next to him. "I prefer not to waste my precious energy, Number Fourteen."

The best part of my story involving Xigbar came when he stepped toward me and said, "I'll help you, Xi-Xi. The other two are just too scared to be beat."

"I beg your pardon?" Saix raised a somewhat vexed brow.

Merely grumbling something under his breath, Zexion crossed his arms and sulked. Xigbar aimed his laser guns at Tricky, warped so that he stood behind him, and shot in a succession. Tricky never had a chance.

That weird showman creature with the giant ear waxers for weapons collapsed, fading away into inevitable nothing as all Heartless do. I bestowed to Xigbar a grateful glance before marching up to Number Six. He peeked through his ridiculously long strands of gray hair to stare blankly at me.

"What is it, Number Fourteen?"

"Well, Number Six," I tapped my foot impatiently, "you refused to help me earlier."

"I apologize, but I really did think you could handle this on your own." A smirk tugged at the insolent Zexion's lips.

Before Xigbar could say something in my defense, I slapped my partner across the face, which inevitably startled him. Smirking, I teleported back to HQ.

Aside from Zexion's sometimes exasperating ways, I must say that I find Xigbar a fantastic individual. After all, he did survive a war as well as putting up with the five other apprentices. If I was him, I would have jumped out the window in a matter of seconds due to stupid Zexion and his just as stupid I'm-better-than-you-attitude. Xigbar is like the uncle I've never had. Or, rather, he is similar to an uncle who has ceased to exist in my memory. To be honest, I have an extremely poor memory of my past life, more so than the others except Roxas. At least since he is inflicted with that too, I'm not totally alone in this. Maybe that's why we occasionally pal around.

Anyway, back to Xigbar. I love (not really, more of a thought thing) how he cracks sarcastic jokes whenever he walks into a room. With this method, he brightens up the overall dour situation through which we, as an organization, suffer. Other members may find him annoying for this trait, but I applaud him; the select few who do look condescendingly upon him are too serious. They need improved lives...obviously. As for me, I will always appreciate Xigbar's dry sense of humor. I dare the haters to go through a day without it. They'd probably get irked from that minor change after a while due to their phobia of change itself.

I tend to be somewhat on OK terms with most of the members of Organization XIII. Xigbar just happens to rank higher up on my list of people I tolerate, that's all. And usually, old guys turn me off when it comes to friendship. Yeah, didn't want all of you to think romance. I'm gross, but not in that way, all right? But, anyway, Xigbar has a perpetual adolescent quality about him that I don't think will ever fade. That makes him likeable. That makes him funny and cynical and all the things that make Xigbar...well, Xigbar. Honestly, we wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't have it any other way. If I ever decide to escape the truthfully oppressive restraints of the Organization, Xigbar will be one of the first people on whom I will reflect. For, he is so amiable and so insanely comedic, he isn't exactly a person to forget...'nuff said.

A/N: OK, I know that Xion seems to flatter some members. But, trust me, it will happen rarely. Or, I guess it's half and half. And it's kind of supposed to be like Ned's Declassified in the sense that whacky things go on with the Organization in this fic. Just warning you ahead of time. XD

R&Ring would be very much appreciated indeed.