a/N: update. sorry it took me so long. i just had a hard time with writting this, and where exactly I am going with his hahaha I don't know. I have a general idea or sort of outline but there are so many things and details I haven't figured out.
VI. Motivation
Walking desserts, forests and jungles were something she had not been prepared of. Going through yellow, green and red, and watching the scene change before them as the days passed brought no kind of relief. She held to the hope that she knew her friend enough to know her train of thought. Still she couldn't escape the little voice in the back of her mind that plagued her dreams telling her, Leah was dead, and that their whole expedition was in vain.
When they finally made it to La Push, Rebecca had lost the count of the days they had been absent. Unlike her friend, she barely remembered the land where they were born. She had never liked humidity or cold. Damp weather and grey skies had been only a vague reminder of a past life. But now with the echoing thunders lightening the sky and the strong waves of wind freezing her skin, she feels at last relieved. They are here, and she's too.
Leah's barefoot walking on the beach, picking up rocks as she walks. Her senses probably entranced with the nature's tempestuous behavoir completely unaware of their presence. She control the impulse of running and yelling to her friend and give Jacob time and space, with the rest of them following as he walks towards her. His purpose and objective within arm's reach. The pace of his brother is slow but hard, Rebecca watches from the distant as his eyes light up when Leah looks up.
And then the look of deception is all over his features. Of course Rebecca can tell. His eyes seemed to drown after he looks at her. And his mouth which was about to curl up into a smile, loses the momentum, and settles into a thin trembling line that keeps the words he wants to shout locked inside. He only nods at her, and keeps walking passing her until he's almost a hundred feet away. Leah, unlike him doesn't look dissapointed but confused. Her eyes follow him, in deep concetration, until he's too far away to keep trail of him. She finally lets out a sigh and her hand reaches the small and barely noticeable bulge. Rebecca shakes her head and waits for her friend's acknowledgement.
"He's upset" Leah says turning her attention to her best friend. "He's upset, he wanted the imprint. What changed his mind?"How she's able to read him like an open book. Rebecca does not know. It's a sixth sense she posses and it works not only with her brother but with most of the people. Leah likes to call it intuition, but Rebecca who was witnessed it many times through the years, know it's more than that.
"Bella" Rebecca huffs. The white girl certainly did a number on his brother. But she's moved onto someone completely different now. Unlike her sister or Leah, she was never close to Isabella. And she truly believed she was doing her brother a favor by cutting herself off. In her opinion. Bella was too weak of mind, of body and apparently of heart too. Now she seems enraptured with the vampire in a way, she never was with her brother. Deep down Jacob knows it too, which is why she thinks he wanted to imprint.
"I see." Leah's face betrays no reaction. And Rebecca can't help feeling curious, but knows better than to ask. Leah will talk when she's ready, and she won't push her to it."Are you hungry?"
"Starving" Rebecca admits. Unlike the other ones, she can't hunt or eat raw. So Embry's been hunting for her, and she's been forced to eat burnt meat for their whole trip. The walk to the little hut is brief. And Rebecca is really marveled at what Leah has done with the place. It looks almost nice. A spell and the water is heated and they're drinking tea and eating scones.
"We can talk, they won't be back until is dark" She feels the need to say it, because she knows Leah won't show in how much pain she is to anyone else but her. It's always been like that, at least until Sam happened. And then her grief was too much to keep bottle inside and out for the world to see. She's partly right, because Rebecca can't see any of them being sympathetic to what Leah's going through. They are better out with the vampires are scouting the area trying to make sure it's safe, which it probably is since Leah's been stationed here for god knows how long, unprotected .
"Are you coming back?" She asks dropping the honey tone and maybe being a little harsher than what she intended. Anyone who knows her, can assure you heart warming tones are not in her capability.
"Isn't that why you came" Leah answers smartly not letting Rebecca get her riled up.
"Yes we did, my little brother promised your parents, his father, your brother and Sam he would get you back" Rebecca chuckles losing the anger and happy that her friend is doing takes a final sip of the cup, the tea is almost cold, and most of the scones are gone. She drums her finger on the little table waiting for her friend's reaction
"That'a a long list of people to dissappoint" Rebecca laughs along with her. She then proceeds to paint a colorful picture of everything she's missed, but careful enough to avoid the any Sam or Emily references. She knows Leah isn't dumb but the fat that she doesn't call her on the withdraw of informations, lets her know she's not ready to face Sam. So when small talk is done Rebecca sits a little bit straighter.
"No one's going to force you"Leah only raises her eyebrow at her which makes Rebecca laugh "Okay probably I would. But if you don't want to go back I understand. Embry and I can stay with you, and-"
"Where is this coming from?" Leah asks laughing "Have you mellowed already, please say you haven't. Because I was finally ready to be a complete and utter bitch like you. Don't tell me I'm going to be running this play all by myself"
"If you want to be a bitch, I'll be bitch with you" She jokes "And even if I'm offended that you have called me a softie, I'm going to let it slide for now."Her eyes travel quickly to the small bump and it makes Leah laugh even harder.
"It's just a baby Becca"Leah says this time more softly. "I won't break"
"Very well then" Rebecca stares at her seriously "You can either drag your ass back home, or I'll drag it for you" Her tone is completely serious "Or you'll stay here with us" Rebecca watches her friend ponder the words she just uttered impatiently, she wishes she could be more crude and slap some sense into her friend. But even she has restrains when it comes to yelling at pregnant women.
"Is there a choice where I get to stay by myself?" Leah asks as she pulls the shawl tighter around her shoulders.
"No"But it's not her who answers, it's her brother. He's wet from head to toe, the white peasant shirt completely soaked and clinging to his body, making the russet skin of his chest completely visible. Leah doesn't turn around and only huffs, she makes a point of giving Rebecca anincredulous look. She attempt to leave, Rebecca can only guess it's to avoid another lecture but Jake is there blocking her pathway in an instant.
"Sit"It's a command, even like humans they can feel the power of the alpha timbre.
"Jake" She tries to stop her brother, she knows he needs to be really careful with what he says. But when have siblings ever listened to their sisters.
"You can't stay, neither can Embry or any of us for that matter"Jacob recites as if it were a speech he has rehearsed "You have to get back. I have already figured out how to solve your problem-" But Leah's who's already flared up cuts him off
"Really? Enlighten me please Jacob" She demands "How are you going to solve my problem"
"I will marry you"
"What the hell Jake?" And it's Rebecca the one who protests first "Why would you do that? No offense Leah"
"None taken" Leah says. His brother has definitely lost it. She loves Leah . And she believes she would've been a wonderful sister in law, if they had ever fallen in love. And while she's the living proof that you can learn to love someone, she can't see either of them falling for the other, when their hearts are completely comitted to other people.
"I have my own reasons"He replies darkly looking out the little window on the cabin. Leah doesn't seem as unnerved as she would've expected her to be. Her friend is nothing but explosive and outspoken, and here she lies her anger completely subsided, and staring at her brother with an amused look.
"Leah?" She demands an explanation. She needs to knock some sense into her brother's head.
"I would never marry you" Leah is calmed and Rebecca feels relieved she thanks her friend silently watching as Leah leaves Jacob who only chuckles at Leah's negative response.
"Don't worry, she will" Rebecca feels the need to protest again but she's cure as to what the hell has gotten into his head.
"Jake"His demeanor is calm and there's some serenity in the way he looks into the horizon. Long lost is the boy, she used to seat, and before her stands a man. How could she miss her own brother's transformation. She doesn't know but she feel the pride surge within her when she realizes this is the leader of their trible, and no one can deny it.
"You have to know it's a crazy idea" She begins standing next to him, feeling small but so much wiser than her naive brother.
"Actually it's not"His brow relaxes and there's defeat and acceptance at the same time "Bella and I have no future, you said it, everyone said it. I've lost her. But I still love her, and I'll love her until the day I die. Leah won't ever let Sam go. I know. But who says we have to love each other in order to live together. This way, our father and hers will have what they wanted for so long, I'll step up and dedicate myself to our people. Leah will be safe, so will her baby. And even Sam and Emily can have their happy ending."
It makes sense to her ears. But the scenario that he talks about leaves her feeling cold. Because while she can understand what he's saying. Embry's proven her wrong. People can fall again, they can love twice, and love better. But Jake has resolved to hold onto Bella, and with the marriage he's forcing Leah to do the same. They're giving up their hearts willingly and that's something she fears they'll regret with time.
If they ever live long enough to notice.
With a shawl tightly wrapped around her shoulders, tittering like a blubbering fool, she sits watching the male part of the group. Her brother, her fiancee and Quil are out there with the two male vampires playing some kind of game. She's next to Leah whose dress is thinner than hers but unlike Rebecca, there's no change in her skin or her movements that indicates she's cold. The blonde beauty is sitting on her other side, and while Rebecca doesn't find her too annoying as her husband or their brother, Leah doesn't even try to be polite with her.
"How long have you and Emmett been together?"Rebecca asks being friendly. There's companionship between them, after traveling together for so many days as the only women in the group.
"Half a century almost"Leah snorts and leaves to take a walk. Rebecca sees her shake her head and grimace before fastening her pace. Leah's not comfortable with the vampire so she leaves, as she does whenever she can't handle something
"What's her problem?" Rosalie asks offended "I mean aside all that extra weight"There's a hint of joking, but Rebecca finds herself deep in though trying to answer her question. The problem is too simple yet at the same time it isn't. It's hard to define her problem, and she's not even sure it can be defined.
"She's unhappy,I'm afraid"The statement is so simple, Rebecca wishes she could elaborate on it. But what's there to add, it's the truth. And it's something that it seems no one will be able to change. Rosalie seems to understand the statement and doesn't comment on it. Rebecca watches interested when Jacob breaks from the group and follows Leah back to the cabin.
"As much as I despise your little human friend,my brother is enraptured with her" Rosalie states and for a moment Rebecca thinks she's talking about Leah.
"Bella?" She turns to face her now that the couple is out of sight. Rosalie nods.
"Your brother is being smart unlike mine. That girl isn't good news" Rebecca finds herself nodding in agreement. Bella Swan is bad news, too needy, too clingy, someone who just would've held Jacob back.
"I hope she finds what she's looking for in Edward. He seems agreeable a little bit presumptuous but..."
"He is. He's a very complex character. He's been alone for almost a century, living in a family where love is the unit. I can imagine how hard it must be to watch the bliss of all of us. And well in Bella he has found a challenge he never thought possible"
"Challenge?"
"He can't read her mind, she's inmune to his power and her blood sings to him in a way human blood has never sang to any of us" Rosalie admitted "He has learned to control his hunger and has transformed it some kind of passion and devotion I don't understand" Rebecca didn't either. Bella had inspired that same devotion on his brother. He had been almost willing to turn his back on his whole family and the tribe so he could be with her. Apparently Edward was willing to turn his back on who he was to be with her.
"Jacob was willing to step down to be with her" Rebecca adds. As if that would elaborate on Bella's personality and how she affects men."I fear Jacob won't find happiness after her"
"Probably. But from where I stand it seems your friend Leah is in a similar position. So maybe your brother is right, being together without actually being involved could be the solution to their problems"
"Loving others while being with each other?" Rebecca asked it sounded so simple, yet so crude.
"Do you think they could ever fall in love?"Rosalie scoffed, her tone implying she didn't find it possible. It seemed almost stupid to imagine such an outcome.
"No" Rebecca answered. And it made her sad they wouldn't fall in love. In an alternate universe, her brother and Leah would've made a formidable couple. But Sam and Bella had made sure that would never happen.
And for that, Rebecca was going to hate them if her brother and her friend couldn't.
"I hate to agree with him. I really do Lee. But what else could you do?"Rebecca is trying to do as much damage control as she can. Over the last three months, Jake has made no progress in persuading Leah to come back with him. Jacob has already sent Quil and Jasper back, with the spoken promise that the rest of them will be joining them shortly.
"I want to stay here"She whispers looking out in the starry sky. Rebecca nods trying to show she understands what she's saying.
"Call your brother" She says after a moment "I'll talk to him" She tries not to smile, she doesn't want to upset her friend anymore, but she knows Leah's going to give into his proposal. She almost runs down the hall knocking twice on the chamber he sleeps in. He comes out, he's still quivering, and Rebecca suspects he still angry with Leah, and he's dwelling on their last fight.
"Leah wants to talk you." Jacob looks surprised but nods opening the door wider and motioning Embry to come with him. Her fiancee was probably offering words of wisdom or comfort to his best friend. "Please behave, all of this is hard of her."
"And you think it's not hard for me"Jacob hisses, clenching his fist and tensing making his skins a shade darker.
"Jake"Embry tries to calm him down to no avail. He almost tumbles down her door, making Leah jump up the bed at his not at all smooth entrance. Embry and Rebecca follow but stay close to the door. Rebecca knows they can't leave them alone and kill each other. Their temper is too out of control, especially Leah's.
"What?"Jacob snaps when Leah's eyes examine his face. Her chest is heaving slowly, taking in deep breaths every now and then. Rebecca doesn't know how long they stare at each other.
"Fine" She yells breaking all eye contact and turning her back on him
"Fine what?" He says taking a step closer to where she is. No sign that his anger has gone away.
"I will marry you" She huffs out as if she were talking of an impending death. "I'll marry you under one condition." Leah's fists clench at her sides and after setting her shoulders back, she turns around to find herself face to face with her brother, who Rebecca can guess had the intention of making her turn around anyways.
"What?" He repeats challenging her.
"We stay" She doesn't want to see Sam, and that's logical. But she can't see Jake giving up so easily.
"No" He shakes his head "We can't stay"
"Then there's no nothing" It's all about the compromise. Surely they can agree on something.
"You could stay" Embry says and before Jake can protest and tell him to fuck off. Embry lifts his hand silencing. Leah looks up at him interested and then at Rebecca demanding an explanation. She just shrugs not knowing what he has on mind.
"At least until the baby is born. It will allow things to settle down here and out there. Travelling with her on that state is very dangerous. But you know you can stay here forever" Leah nods her head solemnly.
"Fine"It's all Jacob huffs before bolting out the room. Leah breaks into a big smile and mouth a thank you to Embry. Rebecca looks at him knowingly as he leaves and joins her friend.
"Are you completely sure?" She can't help but ask.
"Isn't what you wanted me to do?" There's a bitter smile decorating her face.
"I want you alive, and safe and close and happy" Rebecca lists.
"He has really mellowed you out" Leah laughs "And I will be all those things maybe, who knows." Her hand falls onto her stomach automatically as she rubs it softly."I will barely see your brother, I'll have my baby, and I'll have you"
"You're damn right. That baby will have the best kick ass aunt the world has known"
"Thank you Becca and thank Embry, he's a genius"
"That he is"
"When the time comes and my anger fades maybe I'll thank your brother too" Rebecca doesn't say nothing on Jake. Now that Leah has said yes, she believes there's a chance things could be good for them.
Because maybe Jake is right and they don't need love. Still she can't help crushing the little tinge of hope that's waken in her to watch her brother and her best friend find happiness in each other.
a/N:will try to update soon, please review