a/N:update will be coming more often now that my other fic is finished. thanks for all the reviews, i thought nobody was going to after it took me like three months to update last time:S
VII. Imitations
The mist and the fog added a sense of mystery to the place, like something was brewing behind its veils. Like there was a secret to unconver, something more to discover under the blue waters of the ocean. Regardless of the circumstances and all the problems surrounding Leah, in this land, in this beach, she had found solace. The feeling of coming home had filled her heart the first day she had stepped on it. And every morning before the sun rose, she would walk and admire the beauty of the place, searching for the familiar comfort its nature offered.
Numbing herself to the own pain of her heart and trying to drown into the magic the place gave her. Leah was carrying a life other than her own . The last proof she would ever get from Sam, to remind her that once upon a time he had loved her. Loved her more than everything, loved her like she still did. The imprint was absolute she knew it .Even if she had tried to ignore it. She had said it herself. She had set him free and as it turned out, he wasn't hers. He was meant to love Emily, and nothing could change that. The presence of the man at her side proved it.
She tried to laugh at how odd it felt, how awkward and strange it was to be next to him, now that she had finally accepted his offer. She was no longer angry at him. She was puzzled, couldn't wrap her mind around it.
"Are you going to talk or you just made me come here to see you bask in your own beauty?"Jacob asked tired of waiting for her to say something.
"You think I'm beautiful?"Leah laughed, and when she saw Jacob's slight blushing,she smirked. It was hard to see him as a younger boy than herself. With the change, he looked half a decade older than her, but a blush like the one spreading across his high cheekbones would immediately tell his age.
"Forget it. We need to talk" Leah said sitting a little bit straighter, turning ninety degrees to face him.
"You haven't changed your mind,have you?"He said following her movements and closing the distance between the two so they were completely facing each other.
"Leah please"It was Leah's turn to blush.
"Of course not" Leah assured him. The thought that she was going to marry him was embarrasing. It was not that he was ugly. He could be anything but that. Actually when he smiled like this, she could even say he was handsome. She hadn't really paid much attention to any other man than Sam. When you fall in love at such a young age, you only have eyes for your beloved.
"Jake"His short name was a sign of friendliness and Jake smiled at this. They were making progess "I don't know how we're going to do this"
"There are many things we haven't thought through. I mean you and me. We have to explain and I just..I just."Leah fumbled wit her words and Jacob started snickering at her lack of fluidity."We..I.."
"It's okay to be nervous"Jacob said patting her knee with his large palm. "But you need to calm down, because you're not making any sense" Leah slapped his hand away her demeanor quickly changing to anger.
"Well you aren't either"She retorts angrily "How are we supposed to explain our marriage and exactly how is it that we're going to get married and a baby so soon, nobody is going to believe us, it's going to look too suspicious. I don't think it's a good idea"
"I thought you said you were not changing your mind"Jacob snaps back, Leah can see their conversation is not going to go friendly way. And her body jerks away from his on instinct. His large frame is too imposing. She feels aggravated, so she stands, turning to walk away. Maybe she's not ready to face him. Her feet sink slightly in the wet sand, leaving footprints as she goes. Her dress getting soaked and stained with sand, but she does not care. He won't follow her. He never does.
"Leah!!"He calls twice and the second time, her ear senses he's closer. He's coming after her, and she's surprised and more angered at this. How dare he. Of course he'll catch up with her, if he was running he would be at her side already. But he's giving her time to stop. To compromise. Not that it's going to matter because she won't budge if he can't make any sense and he can't explain why should she embarras herself trying to.
"Leah come back here!"He yells to no avail.
"Leah, god damn it!"His hand is securing her elbow making her lose balance and almost fall, but his grip is tight enough to pull her back and steady her.
"Leah"His voice is pleading and soft. And she hates him even more because he's not supposed to be vunerable. It's then that she remembers, she's not the only who's hurting. At least she lost the love of her life because of something that was out of Sam's control. Something that Sam didn't choose for himself. Bella on the other hand left him because she fell in love with someone else. With someone who was not even human.
"I'm sorry Jake but I can't" Leah says honestly.
"Maybe the time has come for both of us to come clean. If we're doing this, we should be able to trust each other" At the same time he lets go of her, he extends his hand open, waiting for her to close her own around his. Leah hesitates if only for a couple of seconds, but then her arms is moving on its own accord connecting their hands. And it's until their palms touch, that she realizes she's never held his hand. He doesn't feel warm as Sam did, he feels normal. She knows her temperature elevated with the pregnancy so that might explain the feel. Her baby is what scares her the most, his or her fate and what will happen if Jake can't save them.
Leah is aware that Jacob's giving up so much for them. But he's no martyr he has his own reasons. And he's right if they're are even attempting to make this work, she has to know everything. No more speculating or guessing. And she is going to have to explain herself to him even if she doesn't want to. It's the only way for them.
Jacob's steps are steady and comfortable to follow. He leads them near to where they were sitting before her outburst and she takes a seat next to him. She isn't sure what he wants to know. But she starts speaking anyway.
"Sam and I were together for years"Her eyes focus on the crashing waves ahead of them. It's going to be long and she doesn't want to have to worry about his reactions, so she can tell him everything. It's easier to talk when you're not being judged.
"I loved him so much. I still do. Really deep inside of me I wish for him the best. I want him to have the very best. " A sad smile turns her lips up. Her hand pushes back her hair and her face settles into a pained look again. "But the moment you said he had imprinted. I knew I had lost him forever. I was not naive to think I could go against an imprint. I know how absolute they are. All the things I said that day were because I knew I had lost and I was desperate, I almost went crazy. I almost hurt Emily, and Sam almost hurt me because of it. I can't even begin to describe how painful was too see the anger directed at me. He was willing to hurt me. Me, the one he loved. Still the accident happened leaving Emily disfigured, and the guilt and the resentment was just too much for me. I couldn't be what stood between them and their happiness, because I don't think I could stand Sam looking at me like that again. Sam hating me was just too much.."
"He doesn't hate you"Jacob says. And she only shakes her head.
"I know he doesn't. But the imprint makes him hate me. Asking him to fight the imprint makes him hate me" She tries to shut down the sob that escapes at the end of her sentence. But she can't, the emotion leaks through a hurtful sob. She buries her face in her forearm, wiping away tears that have managed to escape her eyes.
"He know it's his fault"Jacob says a little bit harder "And I would've never let him hurt you"
"Thank you"Leah says in a small voice "I never got around to saying it. You saved me from him that day-"Her voice cuts off again because she can't keep her tears in check. She feels Jacob's arms tentatively reach for her and she leans into his touch. There's nothing in it, but comfort and feeling safe.
"I know we've never been close"Jacob whispers "But we've always been like family. We grew up together. You are the best friend of my sisters. You are her best friend" Leah knows exactly who her is. "You are like a sister. I promise I'll take care of you both." Leah leaned into his shoulder some more. This was the first time she talked about that night. It didn't feel wrong to open up to Jacob, after all he had been there. He had been part of all that. And maybe only he could understand her right now. He was right they were family, they had grown up together as a tight knit group, they cared to some extent about the other. They could work with that. They could trust each other as he had said.
"Bella dis she.."
"Bella is in love with the leech. You witnessed it Leah. I can't compete with him, when she has already made her choice. They're together now"
"You have to know why I came. I thought I was going to imprint"Jacob said wistfully "I wished it had happened, then this would've been easier"Leah doesn't say anything. She had thought of the imprint too, but she's glad it didn't. She loves Sam still. She doesn't want to forget.
"I can't stop loving her though"Jacob says almost following Leah's thought "And I can't seem to want to. You know how that is"
"I talked things with my dad before I left"Jacob says finally "I think most of them were hoping for the imprint and of course for your return."
"But you didn't imprint"
"They don't know that" Jacob says more clearly this time. "Only the leeches and Embry and Becca. That's why I sent Quil back. He can't keep a secret even if it were to save his life. But Embry I trust. And Rosalie will keep Emmett's mouth shut "
"You're on a name basis with the leeches?"Leah asks amused. She has come to sort of respect them. They've done many things for her and her family. They've helped Jake and the others, and they came here to help her.
"They're not so bad as you think, only the smell"Jacob chuckles "And since you're a human, you don't have to put up with it. I know you don't hate them as much anymore."
"No, but I have to seeing you and your sisters being friends with them was surprising. I guess they can't be that bad if they're here"
"No. At least not all of them" Silence falls over them. And Leah braves up to take his right hand between hers, making his eyes follow her and settle in her face.
"You want to fake the imprint?"Her voice quivers a little bit and she almost drops his hand, but then he puts his left over her keeping them in place. He nods solemnly.
"It's the only way"Jacob says seriously his voice unlike her, steady. He sounds completely sure. Leah looks up at him, there's a newly acquired hardness in his features. The slight signs of a broken man jump before her eyes. And she feels the need to cry. He's too young to lose hope. They're both too young to experience this kind of suffering. But she knows what faking the imprint would mean. The imprint it's the strongest biding their people have, and it allows them to bend and ignore traditions
"I will not force you" Jacob then adds. "If you don't want to. We can think of something else, but-"Leah interrupts him shaking her head.
"We'll try"Leah gives out a teary laugh "We have four months before the baby comes. Which makes me worry since I don't exactly know how he or she is going to come. I mean Rebecca didn't exactly pay attention during Sophie's lecture"
"We'll figure a way"He laughs a bit running his thumb over her palm "Well you and Rebecca will, maybe Rosalie could help"
"I don't think putting a vampire near a newborn and a bloody mess is a good idea Jake"Leah says gravely.
"Right. See. Smart. " He point at her. "You're smart, you'll figure out a way. And I'll help"Leah smiles at this and for the first time she feels content. They sit in silence, but in comfort. They don't talk much, both of them trying to get used to the other. And too lost int heir own thoughts. The scene hasn't changed, but something between them definitely has. Even if Leah can't put a finger on it.
Leah feels nervous as she waits for .
Rebecca insisted on braiding her and tucking it around her head like a crown, and she feels completely out of place. She has no idea why her friend insists on primping her, when she's only taking a walk with Jacob. But not even her can say no to Rebecca. And she doesn't mind much, but she knows Jacob will laugh at her.
Him and Leah are trying to spend more time together. Putting bricks to build their newly found trust. And aside all the temper issues she has, it's not something she hates. Most of the times she enjoys their walks, or meals together. But every now and then he'll find a way to drive her crazy. There's many things about Jacob that she's always known but that under his constant company, have magnified. To Leah, Jacob was always annoying Now that she's in the receiving end of his remarks and bragging, she has to fight the urge of snapping at him or laughing with him
Then there's the way he acts. He doesn't offer his arm for her to take, he simply takes her hand in his. He never offers assistance, he helps whenever he deems it necessary, even if she's protesting. Jacob doesn't ask if he can eat from her plate, he simply does. He doesn't ask her what she wants to do, he makes her do it. He never smiles, he always laughs. And he never compliments her, he's always calling her crazy, moody and a bitch. But Leah doesn't mind it. She likes it.
Nothing about him reminds her of Sam. And she tries to do the same for him. Leah unlike him is more rational. Her mind is in a constant overwork. Always thinking beforehand what she'll say, what she'll do. How hard her grip is, if her mouth is closed or slightly open when she sees him coming. Every single detail is processed. But he still finds ways to overcome her rational side.
His laughter booms before Leah can look at him properly. Her eyes fix on a glare as she sees him coming downstairs.
"Rebecca sure went a little over board with you hair." Jacob chuckles. He had the decency to cover his chest at least when they're together. Making him look more regal.
"Jealous that you hasn't grown yet?"Leah taunts him back falling into step as his finger thread with hers and they start walking.
"A little bit, I miss running my finger through it. A bad habit."Jacob admits
"If you were nicer I would let you use my hair"Leah throws playfully. She's not really serious but it's as close as flirting at they have gotten. They know all they will ever be is friends, but they can flirt every now and then, knowing there's no feelings behind it. Once they get back they'll have to put a display of genuine physical touching. So the most important thing is establishing their friendship.
"That's something to look forward to. Don't tease me woman, because I just might go ahead and help myself"He taunts back at her. Leah easily laughs him off and follows him until they've arrived the forest. The green makes Leah a little bit dizzy and it's hard to pay attention where they're going when there's no trail for them to follow. Her pregnancy doesn't slow her down, her reflexes are sharper, and she suspects it because of it.
"Rosalie and Emmett should be here somewhere"Jacob mutters.
"Are we meeting them?"Leah asks skeptically.
"Of course not. I was just saying."He lifts her effortlessly without warning until he's putting her safely over a blanket.
"A picnic?"
"Rebecca and Embry's ideas are not that brilliant"Jacob hand pulls a clip, and suddenly the braid is falling and Leah it screaming releasing his fingers, her hands going up in horror.
"You've done it" Leah yells. A rock magically zooms towards Jacob but he dodges laughing at Leah and her futile attempt as arranging her hair. He threads his finger over the semi done braid helping her.
"It looks better this way"Jacob adds more softly when her curls are falling freely over her face "I think"Her embarrasment is visible, under a subtle blush and she hides her face. A rock zooming out of nowhere and hitting Jacob on the forehead, leaving a bloody dent on his skisn "Damn it Leah what was that for"
"For my hair"She mumbles turning her back on him.
"It's just stupid hair"
"You're stupid"Angry tears start to gather in her eyes and she shakes her head furiously."I am not something for you to laugh at or play with- I'm not here for you to crack up and think of something else Jacob Black. I am not your distraction and I am certainly not putting up with you today"
"Walk away, go ahead"Jacob retorts back as angry "Let's play your way"
"I'm not playing"She snaps turning back to him. She can't let him have the last word "I'm trying"
"Don't exhaust yourself Leah"He spits out. His hand is not covering his forehead anymore and there's only a little scar.
"Uh uh don't even think about it"In a second he's next to her holding both wrists and being too close to make her lose focus. A trait he's discovered and that Leah regrets having. Somehow and for no apparent reason Jacob Black messes up her mind and her powers.
"Don't touch me"She grinds her teeth.
"Fine but sit and eat"Jacob demands taking his own place, and starting to unpack the carefully placed basket.
"And if you can allow yourself you insufferable ice queen, enjoy"There will be no more pleasantries exchanged for the day.
So Leah knows it's going be a long day.
a/N: let me know what you guys think. i think from now on im going to alternate between leah's 3rd pov and jacob's.
And every now and then use other characters.
i HOPE THE CHAPTER DOESN'T SOUND OR READ DIFFERENT. AND I HOPE IT DOESN'T SEEM RUSHED OR OUT OF THE BLUE.
review, i promise i'll reply.