A/N: Helloooooooooo, everybody! Tomorrow is Marluxia Day as well, so I thought why not update? That, and I promised you guys. XD Even though I think Marluxia is an excellent character who perfectly exemplifies villainy, Xion doesn't think that way. So, prepare for randomness...extreeeeme randomness. Not even the Xaldin chapter or the Xemnas chapter was this random.

So, I suggest you strap on your seatbelts and get some helmets fast! ^_^

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the randomness, mwahahahahaha! (sorry, I'ma in a crazy mood today)

Chapter 11: Marluxia the Crazy Gardener

Can I just flat-out say I don't like Marluxia very much? A while ago, Xemnas officially named him Lord of Castle Oblivion. Guess how that went with him? Now, he's acting cockier than usual, as though he owns the place. Yeah, thanks almighty Superior for that genius idea! I hate it when arrogant people receive good things not even worthy of them. If karma had been around, maybe Marly would have been demoted to a rank below me. I laugh just thinking about that. Well, I guess Xemnas semi-promoted Marluxia, because the latter did such an awesome job at kissing up, even better than Saix. That didn't make the Wolfman too happy, I can tell you that—in fact, he and that psychopath can't stand each other. They avoid each other like the plague, I swear. Then again, Marluxia rarely gets along with anybody except Larxene for some reason. He might have a thing for her.

His weapon is, I admit, rather sharp and can actually be intimidating. Though pink, his scythe is a force to be reckoned with. It can slice through anything its blade impales. However, despite that fact, he prefers to parade it around to threaten us. I have only seen it in action while he's training, and that's about it. But, I bet he wouldn't mind using his evil scythe to torture us. The dude does have a sadistic side to him that is very, very obvious; once, he even described himself as such before chuckling. He has a weird sense of humor that he seems to share with Larxene, who may flirt with Axel but makes out with Marluxia every ten minutes. It's disgusting!

I wonder how he managed to nab a girlfriend in the first place—I mean, his hair is pink. I would think that would be a turn-off for other chicks (I know it would be for me), but that's not the case with Larxene. Sometimes, I wonder what they do in their spare time. Wipe out villages maybe? Perhaps destroy entire towns? It's just probably a cruel activity that both of them would love to the best of their abilities. Of course, they really can't love but whatever. I move on with my description of Marluxia. His dark blue eyes are deep and calculating, though mostly in a cold way. Maybe he goes with Larxene, so that he can manipulate her later. He seems the type to do something as merciless as that. I don't know what happened in his past life, but it must have been ugly to make him turn out the way he did. I would "feel" sorry for the guy if he wasn't too unlikable. He's been known to insult other members.

The Graceful Assassin, as he is called, also does something else besides stuff cure leaves down people's throats (i.e. me) at the infirmary. He tends his garden obsessively and is definitely not normal when it comes to that. I would go so far as to call him crazy. Would a sane guy talk to flowers five times a day? I don't think so. I guess that Marluxia is slightly too attached to the flowers, mainly the roses. He absolutely adores them and has yet to sacrifice them to give those to Larxene. Protecting them like precious gold, he ensures to lock his greenhouse, though the idiot doesn't realize that we teleport wherever we want. Uh-oh, that reminds me of a time in which he and I got along worse than usual. I did something stupid, which I blame on those two whackjobs Roxas and Axel. It all started with a simple dare.

We had spent an entire day on daring each other and executing these dares. Axel had just returned from locking Zexion in the broom closet (guess who came up with that) and turned toward me. His smirk became his hugest yet as he thought of what to tell me to do.

"Xion...I dare you to raid Marly's flower garden. No one has ever done it before, and if you could pull it off, it would be awesome. Just wreak havoc on it."

I nodded while gamely returning his smirk. "Will do, Axel. You won't be disappointed."

"Yeah, but I bet Marluxia would be," Roxas muttered, though smiled in spite of his tone.

So, off I teleported to the infamous flower garden, hoping I would avoid getting caught.

I decided that I should make my dare extra worthwhile by maybe causing some destruction. The look on Marluxia's face would be priceless, and that would induce some serious laughter. I needed a laugh that day, since the meeting bored me to death. Looking around for the perfect thing, I wandered into the corner of the vast gardens. There, I found a pair of trimmers that could easily lop off blossoms of several plants. Perfect! I caused some mischief with those trimmers and ran around cutting flowers off stems left to right. This would serve as the ideal revenge for all those sardonic comments Marluxia gave me in the infirmary. Nothing could please me more. After all the flowers I ruined in a span of ten minutes, I saved the best for last. Now, Marluxia loved his roses, more than anything or anybody in the whole world. No wonder, since they don't talk, just sit there. Why not wreck them to see an even better reaction than once thought?

I thought I was a genius in thinking up this grand finale of my simple yet sophisticated prank. Unfortunately, I had barely lopped off four beautiful rose blossoms before the owner of the garden decided to make his grand entrance. Seeing Marluxia rear his pink head into this place unnerved me. Great, I was caught. At least I hadn't made a bet with Axel concerning this, or I would have had loads of munny to pay. He sauntered regally my way, his sapphire eyes seeming to narrow with each step. Soon, they were narrowed into slits, unwelcome slits that implied he wanted to strangle me. I wouldn't have been surprised if it turned out that's what his thoughts had consisted. Really, I couldn't help gulping at the sight of an angry, taller, and definitely stronger than me member. Bye-bye non-existent life, hello death. And, apparently, Nobodies have no afterlives either.
"Fourteen," Marluxia addressed me in a low, deadly voice, "what do you think you're doing?"

Pretending to laugh light-heartedly, I greeted, "Hey, Marluxia! How are you doing? Were you out with your girlfriend? I guess life has been good to you, huh?"

Yes, I was saying random stuff to be "nice." But, Marluxia isn't nice; I doubt he's ever been nice. As I told you, he has been known to be as cruel as he wants. The case in point was the moment when he glared even more at me, despite my attempt at human politeness. Then again, we are barely human ourselves, so I guess my attempt sucked. In fact, Marluxia practically exploded.

"You know full well those are my roses! You're desecrating them! You like to destroy beauty?!?"

Things didn't play out well after that, because I liked to respond sarcastically. And as a sarcastic girl, I couldn't resist taking a jab at him. Messing with people can be so fun.

"It's not that I want to destroy beauty, Marluxia. I just want to thoroughly irritate you."

"Well...you have certainly done that very well then, haven't you?"

Since I obviously crossed the line, in his opinion, he took out his scythe and brandished it cruelly toward me. I merely laughed to hide my fear, which is pathetic. I mean, why should I be scared of a gardener with pink hair? Well, he's not an ordinary gardener—he's a whackjob with a scythe that can kill five people at once!! I think I had every right to want to run to the hills. So, tow minutes found me running away from Marluxia, who wielded his weapon to try to strike me. Being sliced in half was not part of the plan, or any plan for that matter.

While I was running, Zexion came out of the broom closet by teleportation, as though he knew I would eventually come over to say I idealized Axel's dare. However, I was a little busy at the moment. Not only that, I instinctively felt desperate for assistance.

"Zexion, help!" I called to him. "Marluxia is going crazy bananas!"

That brat did nothing but smirk, summon a camera randomly, and snapped a photo of me running as fast as possible.

"You idiot!" I yelped before screaming, "AHHHH!!!" with Marluxia on my tail.

"Sorry, Number Fourteen, I couldn't resist," Zexion told me in his snotty way. Disregarding him and his annoying ways, I kept trying to avoid Number Eleven's clutches.

Luckily, Axel and Roxas snatched me from the corridor just in time by pushing me through a portal. The last thing I saw was Marluxia looking confused though extremely angry. It was just a good thing they saved me from such an unstable Nobody like him. I don't even want to imagine what the other scenario would have consisted. Once I found myself back in the nice, safe confines of my room, I heaved a sigh of relief.

"Whew, thanks guys! I thought I was a goner back there," I told them, wearing a huge grin.

"No problem, Xion. Anything for someone who nearly got killed by Marluxia," Axel drawled.

"Yeah, you could have died if we hadn't helped you," Roxas chimed in.

Sighing again, this time due to lack of breath, I plopped down on my bed to steady my breathing. Meanwhile, Axel and Roxas wanted to interrogate me to find out if I succeeded in my dare or not. They must have had doubts, considering that I was running from that psychotic gardener.

"So, Xion, are you going to have to pay us munny or did you do well with that little dare?" Axel inquired, arching one brow.

To prove that I had indeed carried out the dare, I revealed a rose blossom that I had placed in my pocket as proof. The two boys oohed and aahed at my success briefly before attacking me with comments. One that stood out in my mind came from Roxas.

"He must have turned rabid once he caught you."

Rabid was certainly one way of putting it. Downright crazy was another, in my opinion.

A/N: OK, prepare for another non-story mini-rant of mine. Thing of it is, I have an account on this website that is for my English class. And another strange thing is that no one comments on my assignment thing or whatever--unlike you guys who review this story.

So, to all of you Xion's Opinions fans out there, THANK YOU! I feel like I belong on this website and nowhere else on the Net, believe me. You guys are my real homies!

Sorry about that randomness. I just get frustrated when it comes to being excluded in the real world. It's happened to the best of us. It's not that I don't have friends, it's just been one of those days. So, can you please drop in a review? I had no idea as to how much I really appreciate comments until five minutes ago seriously. Larxene chapter will be next week, and believe me, she is kinda freaky in that one. XDDD