XXII

Second Chances

It was the intense stinging which cracked through the fragile shell of Rebecca's sleep. At first it felt like a slight pain, as if something sharp was prodding her back. It escalated steadily and as she tried to wriggle away from it she could feel hands holding her down. She whimpered, now it felt like fire was consuming her. She awoke with a gasp of pain. Jolted back into consciousness she tried to rise to her feet, but found she was being held down as something cold was being applied to her back, it was hurting the gashes on her back. "Get off..." She croaked. Where was she? "Get away from me!"

"She's awake." A voice said.

A scuffling noise from somewhere beside her gave way to a familiar face. "Good morning, Rebecca, glad to see you back with us at last."

"Robin?" Rebecca asked wide eyed. "How...what am I..."

Robin shook his head, "It's all right. You're in our camp. Tuck found you in the forest and brought you here. That was three days ago. You had a fever. Scared us all half to death, but seeing you awake...think you might just make it through."

"I'm in your camp?" Rebecca repeated.

Robin nodded.

"Ya rescued me?"

"In a manner of speaking..."

Rebecca rested her head back down on the bunk as laughter rattled through her. She winced in pain, but she could not longer control herself. Robin stared at her in bemusement, "I fail to see what's so funny."

"Of all the people in Nottingham..." she laughed, "of course it had t' be ya! My God, and here I was thinking the Lord was finally showing me a bit 'o mercy...an' instead he sends me ya!"

"Robin, she's not yet fully recovered."

Rebecca tried to crane her head around to look up at Tuck who was placing fresh bandages on her newly cleaned wounds. "See he's got ya up t' it as well, hm? That's fine then." She sighed, "My life could do with a bit o' saving."

"Rebecca," Robin said, trying to regain her attention, "How did you end up in the forest? You've never even ventured out past Locksley." He lowered his head to whisper to her, "Who did this to you. Was it Gis--"

"No." Rebecca snapped, cutting Robin off before he could finish his thought, "Although he might as well have. It was Isabella."

"Isabella?!" Robin repeated. "Why would she do this to you?"

"Oh come on, Robin." Rebecca grimaced, "Why do ya think? I was in the way."

"I should have known something like this would have happened." Robin muttered, shaking his head angrily. "I should have gotten you out of Locksley a long time ago."

"Like I would have gone with ya."

Robin slammed his head onto the wooden side of the bunk just above the one Rebecca was lying on, "I know you've always hated me, Rebecca, but I could have at least tried to keep you out of danger."

"Is that what ya think, Robin?" Rebecca asked, the spite falling from her eyes. "That I hate ya?"

"You've made it clear since I was a boy how much you despised me." Robin said.

"Then for that I am sorry." Rebecca whispered. Slowly she reached up and took hold of the young man's arm. "Ya never deserved that."

"I'm not a child anymore, Rebecca." Robin protested, "I understand why."

"No, ya don't." Rebecca said firmly, "Ya were a boy, nothing that happened was ever your fault. I was a child then as well, an' I was blinded by own grief I never thought t' help ya in yours. I never hated ya, Robin."

Robin patted her hand gently, "You should get some rest."

"How long do ya think it'll be before I can be on my way again?" Rebecca asked as Robin rose to his feet. The rest of the gang was returning to the camp and she could see that Robin no longer wished to discuss his past whilst they were around.

Tuck answered for her, "Not for another week at the most."

"You know you are welcome to stay here for as long as you wish." Robin offered.

"I can't accept that, Robin." Rebecca said, "I have t' go back t' Nottingham."

"I just finished bandaging these wounds," Tuck grunted, "And now you want to see my work go to waste? It's a death trap to go back there, if Isabella wants you dead."

"I have t' go back." Rebecca said, "I intend t' make her pay for what she did."

"You?" Robin said, startled at the hate in her voice, "What would you do? You aren't a fighter, Rebecca, and you wouldn't dare harm Gisborne's sister."

"She took everything from me." Rebecca snarled, "And I am sick of not fighting. I've never fought for anything in my life. I've been a coward an' a fool. Not anymore. Isabella is already dead. What I've seen is no more than a demon come t' take her place. She'll destroy this shire. Ya know it too...I can see it in your eyes."

"I know that Isabella is a dangerous woman. Far too dangerous for you to take her down on your own." Robin said, pacing.

"No one alive knows her better than me."

"Which is exactly why you should stay with us." Robin said.

Rebecca laughed, "What? Ya want me t' be part o' your little band o' merry outlaws? Get out..."

"I'm serious, Rebecca. We could use you."

"I've been used. No thanks."

"Isn't it better than being alone?"

"I'm not afraid o' that."

"Yes you are, Rebecca." Robin said, "And if I didn't know any better I'd say you wandered into Sherwood hoping you'd find us."

"I was trying t' escape!"

"You were dying! I'm offering you a second chance. We want the same thing, help us destroy Isabella. After that you could be free to do as you wished." Robin insisted, "What else do you have to lose?"

Rebecca stared up at Robin, her dark eyes darting from side to side as she calculated what Robin said. He had a point. What could she do against the Sheriff of Nottingham and her stronghold? She would be crushed. She had nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to. Her pride rallied against the idea of serving under Locksley again, but her common sense told her to take this chance. She could learn how to fight, she would never be helpless again. It would not be forever, just until she saw Isabella lose everything she had lost...then she could be free.

Robin must have seen the change in her eyes, for he smiled at her. Rebecca nodded, "All right." she croaked, "I'll help you for now, but I'm warning ya, I don't guarantee I'll stay. I may still leave tomorrow."

"Good enough." Robin said, "Now, my friend, get some rest. We will have our work cut out for us once you are fully healed."

***

By the end of the week, Rebecca seemed to be on the road to making a full recovery. Although her physical health was improving, she did not make any effort to befriend any of the other members of Robin's gang. She hardly spoke to anyone apart from Robin or Much. The others regarded her as a reluctant member and walked about her as if at any moment she might turn on them. Kate was especially untrustworthy of the newcomer, viewing her as a spy rather than an extra comrade. At times Rebecca felt she hadn't left Locksley, as she was still regarded with the same cool and questioning looks and she still heard the whispered slanders to her reputation. Surprisingly she did not mind at all. She had a goal in mind and they would help her whether or not they liked her and that was all that truly mattered.

Tuck had been showing Rebecca how to make arrows when Allan came running back into camp. Rebecca had been a bit annoyed, as she felt at least someone in the gang was making an effort to try and trust her and now that moment had been ruined.

"Everyone! Quick, hurry!" Allan panted as he ran up the slope which led into the camp, "Robin's in trouble! Robin's fighting Gisborne over the hill. Don't know who else is there, come on."

The gang mobilized with frightening speed, grabbing whatever weapons lay closest to them. Rebecca rose to her feet to join them, but Tuck placed a hand upon her shoulder. "It's too dangerous for you."

"I can fight!" Rebecca protested.

"Not yet you can't, and you've only just recovered from your last injuries. Wait here. We'll be back." That was the final word as soon, Tuck ran out to join the others.

Rebecca sat down upon one of the bunks a scowl fit to bring down thunder darkened her face. She would have rebelled against the order if she hadn't understood why she had been asked to stay behind: they didn't trust that she wouldn't side with Guy in the fight. Well, he meant nothing to her. She would show them that. She would do as they asked. With the greatest control she urged herself to sit perfectly still and wait, like the good servant she was, for her masters to return.

She did not have to wait long, for soon the rest of the gang was returning. Rebecca sprang from the bunk and dashed over to them. "What happened?" She asked Allan, who was the first to make his way back into the camp. "Is everyone all right?"

"Why don't you go and ask your master?" Kate spat, fire in her eyes as she shoved her way past the both of them.

Confused for only a moment she looked up to see Robin and Guy enter the camp. Ice fell down her spine as she beheld her former master. He did not see her immediately, but when he did he froze as well. A most unreadable expression crossed over his face. One thought was passing through her startled mind:

"You're alive."

They had both spoken at once. Surprised to have been thinking the same thought they both fell silent. Vaguely, Rebecca could feel the gang's eyes on them. Contrition clouded Guy's eyes, "Becca..."

Without thinking, Rebecca punched him as hard as she could. Guy did nothing to block the sudden blow and he accepted it without protest. Rebecca could not stand the sorry look in his eyes. Feeling insulted that he should look at her with such pity she hit him again. This time she felt Robin take hold of her arms and restrain her.

"Let her go." Guy said.

"Don't ya tell him how t' handle me!" Rebecca shouted.

"Rebecca, enough." Robin urged, struggling to maintain his grip on the woman. "He's with us now."

Rebecca could not believe her ears. Guy and Robin were mortal enemies, how in the world could Robin say that Guy was with him? The last she had known Guy was on the run from Isabella. She had never wanted to see him again. "Then consider me gone." She said, furiously, "I'll not stay while he's here."

"At least listen to me." Robin said, "Things have changed...I need to explain. Then you can decide whether to stay or to go."

She stared up at Guy, already she could see a bruise forming under his eye where she had struck him. "Fine." She muttered as Robin released her. He walked back into the camp to address the rest of his gang, leaving Rebecca and Guy alone at the entrance.

"It was Isabella." Guy blurted out, "I...I know you never spied for Robin. Isabella gave me the outlaw's tag...it was her. Not you."

Rebecca laughed, feeling her heart pierced with a hot needle at the realization that Isabella's betrayal went even deeper than she thought, "And ya think telling me this is gonna make everything all right? What? Ya think I'll forgive ya?"

"Robin told me how he found you in the forest..." Guy said, he had never seen her look at him with such hatred before. He knew he deserved this. "Are you...are you all--"

"Oh spare me, like ya care anyway." Rebecca interrupted. "You're not my master anymore. I don't have t' listen t' your insincere words."

"Becca, please--"

"Don't ya speak t' me." Rebecca snapped, turning back around to re-enter the camp. "Robin may have a use for ya, but I don't. Ya can go t' hell for all I care, bastard." Nothing, she thought as she walked away, had ever felt more satisfying in her life.

1187

"How are you fairing, my girl?" Gemma asked of her daughter.

"Keeping my head down an' out o' sight." Rebecca answered, although her voice was trembling. She had recently been assisting the other servants in helping to move in their new master's personal belongings.

Rebecca had her arms crossed to hide the fact that her hands were shaking. "Maybe he won't notice we're here." She said. Her voice faltering as she tried to laugh.

"You don't want to see him?" Gemma seemed surprised.

"Mum...I...I've tried not t' think o' him. I was forgetting...I don't know." She admitted, her dark eyes swimming with unshed tears.

Gemma pulled her shaking daughter into an embrace. Rebecca clung to her mother like a frightened child. "Why did he have t' come back?" She cried. "Seeing him again...it's like--"

"Feeling the loss o' him all over again?" Gemma said.

Rebecca answered with wrenching sobs, which she tried to minimize. She held her mother like she had never done before. For the years which they had spent in Locksley, Rebecca had been distant towards her mother. Now it was as if none of that anger and spite had ever occurred. There was only this emptiness; a wound which had been poorly stitched into forgetfulness.

"Maybe ya should speak t' him." Gemma whispered.

"No!" Rebecca wailed, "I couldn't. What would I say?"

"Since when have you ever been lost for words?" Gemma said, wiping away her daughter's tears.

"What if he does not remember me? I couldn't bear that, mother."

"Nonsense. If that boy does not remember you I'll come and give him such a flogging...an', my girl, I can guarantee ya he'll remember me." Gemma said.

Rebecca smiled through her fading tears. "Do ya really think it wise t' speak t' him, mum? He didn't seem t' have any patience for any o' the servants when he arrived." She frowned, "He was so...hateful. It was like staring at a stranger. I wouldn't have known he was the same boy unless someone had said his name. It frightens me, mum."

"Aye, an' me too, but do ya really think he would refuse listening t' ya once he realized who you are?" Gemma asked.

"I don't know. It's been so long..." Her throat tightened and her voice emerged like a thin groan, "when I think what must have happened t' him..."

"Don't, Becca, I'd rather ya not." Gemma said.

"I can't help it. I think those nightmares have always been with me I've just tried not to think o' them. Mum, he was my friend...he was the father o' my..." She could get no further with that final thought. Her legs gave out from under her at the mention of her child.

Gemma caught her and steadied her. Rebecca gripped her sleeve, "I can't tell him o' that. I can't!"

Gemma hushed her, rocking her back and forth. "No one ever said ya needed to, my girl." She said soothingly, "You can say only what you want to."

After her tears ceased, Rebecca pulled away from her mother, "I think I do want t' see him." She whispered.

"Then, my girl," Gemma said, wiping at the tear stains with her handkerchief, "You had best make yourself more presentable."

***

It had been no easy task attempting to catch Sir Guy of Gisborne alone. He had been steadily making his way about the manor all day; surveying what he now owned. Rebecca had been following him, waiting for a moment when she might catch him alone. That opportunity; however, seemed unlikely to occur. With each passing second, Rebecca was losing her confidence in approaching him. What should she say, if she was capable of saying anything at all?

She followed him into the small chapel, which was connected to one of the private rooms reserved for the lord of manor's use. She strayed back aways, thinking maybe he had spotted her. With her back to the wall she quickly tried to run through a list of words she might say. She mustn't be too informal, for what if he did not remember her. Could she feign becoming lost? That wouldn't make any sense at all...

She peered into the chapel and realized that Guy was no longer inside. Curious at his disappearance she stepped into the room, looking around hesitantly.

"Looking for someone?"

Rebecca jumped and turned about at the sound of the mocking voice. Guy was standing in the doorway, arms crossed, a smirk playing about the edge of his lips. "You," he said as he casually stepped into the chapel, "have been following me."

"I...I..." All the carefully rehearsed words were flying right out of her head as she backed away from him.

"Go on," Guy urged, in no rush to punish her. He seemed eager to hear her explanation. He knew she had no where to go, "tell me why you were so insistent on pursuing me. Did someone order you to do it?"

Rebecca shook her head fervently, "N-n-no one asked me t' do anything, master."

She saw a look of hesitation cross over his face, as if he was trying to remember something. This only lent him new speed. Rebecca tried to back away, but Guy managed to grab her arm, holding her in place none too gently. Rebecca turned her head away in fright that he might strike her for her impudence.

"Look at me." He ordered.

She did so, her dark eyes staring into his searching blue ones. "Do I know you?" He asked her.

"I should hope so, master." Rebecca whispered, feeling her senses return to her once she realized she was in no danger from him now.

Guy released her arm, and now it was his turn to take a step back in shock, "Becca?"

She wanted to cry. Her lips trembled, and her vision blurred. She wanted to throw her arms about him and sob. Instead she smiled as she nodded her head so violently the world was forced to dance before her eyes, "I...I didn't mean t' follow ya." She admitted, feeling laughter bubbling up to the surface, "I just wanted t'...talk t' ya. See if ya remembered me."

"How could I forget?" He found himself saying. Although he had forgotten she would have been in Locksley. He had known that for years, and he had tried so hard to put that knowledge aside. Looking at her now, he could almost picture her as she was all those years ago. The same dark eyes, and the same warm smile.

For just a moment he let his guard slip. The shock of finding her again must have caused it. Guy embraced his old friend, clutching her tightly. He could hear her surprised gasp, but soon her arms were about him as well. Neither spoke, but neither wanted to. Rebecca rested her head against his chest, eyes closed as she tried to still the wave of tears which threatened to drown her. Every emotion which she had tried to suppress and forget came rushing back as if they had never had an excuse to be shut out. It was altogether too easy to slip into this familiar love.

Far from pushing her away once he realized what he had done, Guy held her too him all the tighter. No one was going to walk in on them here, they could remain hidden here for as long as they wanted to. He could feel her heaving deep and hitching breaths. He smirked as she saw her give her head a little shake, something he remembered her always prone to do when she was trying not to cry. The smile died on his lips as he remembered also how Rebecca had truly wound up in Locksley. At this memory he did push her away. Every forced hatred flooded him. She should have never gone to Locksley, but she had fled to safety rather than wait for him to take her with him. This separation and this painful reunion was her doing. She was responsible for this.

"Guy?"

He winced at the sound of his name on her lips. "Do not call me by my name." He realized only after the words had left his mouth, how harsh they sounded.

Rebecca nodded, understanding him regardless of how rough the order sounded. He had most certainly changed. There was something dark surrounding him now. He was no longer the shy and gentle young boy she had known. There was a blackness in his soul and it was easy to see it written in his eyes.

"You should get back to the others. They will have, no doubt, noticed you are missing." Guy said.

"I don't care about the others." Rebecca scoffed.

"That was not a suggestion." Guy snapped.

Rebecca was used to being given orders, but never from Guy and never so forcefully. She thought he had been as overjoyed to see her as she had been him. What was he thinking? He looked pained. Even now she was amazed at how clearly she could still read him, things had not changed that much at least.

"Go." He ordered.

She did not want to leave him. It was a miracle she had been able to see him again and all she wanted was to be with him now and she could see that was all he wanted as well, so was he denying himself of this simple indulgence? She wanted to ask him why, but he had just ordered her not to use his name and it felt to strange to refer to him as her master just yet. Perhaps he just needed time. She nodded and walked out of the room.

"Becca."

She turned around, meeting Guy's confused stare. "I..." His arms were tight against his side, as if to stop himself from reaching for her again. He shook his head, gesturing for her to leave him, which at last she did.

As soon as she was out of eyesight and earshot she let out a rush of breath. Tears swiftly followed. She placed a hand over her heart to still its rapid beating. Guy was back. She did not know what she had done to deserve this second chance, but she thanked God a thousand times for the blessing; and dear Lord help me, she prayed, but I love him still.

A/N: Now is where we hit that interesting turn of events in which Guy joins up with Robin and the gang. Obviously in this story Robin has to deal with not one, but two misfit members of his gang. What's ahead? A misunderstanding, a rescue, a fight, several misunderstandings explained, a battle, and an inevitable end. I'm not sure how many chapters I have left until the final one for this story, but I am planning on it not being very many. Of course there is the off chance I might be lying.

And the flashbacks are going to take on an interesting new perspective as we are finally going to see what Guy was thinking during those first few months he is reunited with Becca in Locksley. Perhaps his attitude towards her might be fully explained? And how is Becca going to react to Marian? You'll just have to read and find out.