XXIII

Rage

There could have been any number of decent explanations for Guy's sudden appearance at the camp. There could have been several reasonable and necessary explanations. No one could have predicted the actual cause.

Rebecca was sitting just outside of the camp where Robin found her. His bow was slung across his shoulder and he looked as if he was about ready to leave. He sat down beside her. Rebecca gave him a passing glance and little shake of her head. Her eyes were tired and even though she had been as surprised as the rest of the gang, she looked as if nothing could ever astonish her again.

"Bound for York?" She asked him.

Robin nodded, "You of all people should understand why I have to go."

"Oh, no. I do." Rebecca said, "Believe me I do. It is just...you an' Guy...a brother..." She hung her head as she searched for the words, "I do not know how this can be."

"Then you and I are thinking the same thoughts." Robin admitted.

"My mum would have known. She would have. Ghislaine never kept anything from her..."

"My own father never told me." Robin said, "Even if Ghislaine told Gemma, she would never have breathed a word of it, depend on it."

"I want to come with ya."

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's too dangerous," He raised a hand to still the onslaught of indignant words, "And you will be needed here more. Besides, I think it best if you and Gisborne remain separated for now."

She glowered at him briefly before relenting, "I understand..."

Robin rose to his feet, but before he could leave her side, Rebecca caught him by the arm, "Take care, Robin, an'...look after Guy. I mean...just make sure that..."

"We'll keep ourselves out of trouble." Robin winked.

"An' don't ya dare tell him I said that!" Rebecca hissed as Robin walked away laughing softly.

***

Rebecca went with the gang quietly and complacently for most of the day. She helped them drop off money and food in the village. The look on the peoples' faces when they recognized her pleased her immensely. These were the same people who had distrusted her and slandered her name all her life and now they looked at her as if she was their beloved saviour. Some doubted her at first, but when they saw how the rest of the gang called her name and urged her on, they took note. Some even apologized and it was then Rebecca realized just how long and how much she had truly hated these people. People that she had no right to judge or despise, and this was what silenced her. Robin had been right to order her to stay with the gang.

The satchel she carried on her back was considerably lighter than it had been that same morning. She was still constantly readjusting it as at times the bag would rub up against the bandages on her back. She was determined not to be slowed down by her injuries, though and so she did not alert anyone to the slight amounts of pain she had been feeling.

"Robin working with Gisborne could help us." Tuck said, and it was then they all realized how silent they had all been. "He'll share the power of Robin Hood and the nobility of our cause, and he can change his enemy into his friend."

"How?" John asked, the hatred simmering in his voice, "The people of Locksley hate him. The people of Nottingham hate him."

"Everyone hates him." Kate said.

"I'll thank you not to put words in my mouth." Rebecca retorted without thinking. Kate turned about to glare at her. Rebecca merely scowled and averted her eyes.

"Robin doesn't seem to care about the crimes that he's committed." John went on.

"He's bring us Gisborne and he's bringing us his brother to fight alongside. We are striving not just to protect Nottingham, but England—not to settle old scores, John."

"It's not about settling scores, Tuck. It's about justice!"

"If Robin feels he can work with Gisborne then--"

"Then Robin is wrong!" John shouted as he threw his satchel onto the ground. "We fight to protect people from animals like Gisborne! Kate's brother was murdered by Gisborne and he hasn't been punished!"

"And I'm prepared to trust Robin!" Kate said, but doubt was heavy in her eyes.

John stared at her in horrified disbelief, "What? If Robin can bring Gisborne into our forest and call him one of us...." He could not bring himself to finish his thought. He merely shook his head and walked away, throwing his staff down in dismay.

The gang watched as he walked away, no one tried to call him back. The air was thick with doubt and Rebecca was almost certain that on some level they all agreed with what he had said. Looking from face to disappointed face, Rebecca decided to play the part of the ignorant one and go about her duties. She stepped forward and took up John's fallen satchel and threw it across her back with the other one.

"You don't have to do that." Tuck said.

"Can't leave it here, can I?" Rebecca said, "Still have to stop over at Locksley, mouths to feed. Isn't that what we do."

"Yeah. It's what we do." Kate said, tugging the extra satchel off of Rebecca's back and taking the load herself. "You're just here 'cause Robin felt sorry for you! He only let you stay because you needed care. You're not exactly useful to our cause."

"You said you were ready t' trust Robin just now. What, you'll defend Guy but not me? I'm worse am I?" Rebecca spat, genuinely surprised by the outburst.

"Oh don't try an' pretend that you're offended. You were always so high an' mighty. Just 'cause you shared that monster's bed you thought you were better than all of us."

"Kate!" Allan warned.

"God ya lot from Locksley sure are thick aren't ya?" Rebecca said contemptuously, "Never bothered t' get your facts straight."

The two were circling each other now and Allan and Tuck took up positions to halt any fights that would occur.

"You can't deny it." Kate said, "I heard you babbling about a son when you were first brought to the camp. Well, I've never seen your little bastard Gisborne in the village...sent him off to a nice family did you?"

Kate was on the ground before she knew what had hit her. Rebecca grabbed the stunned woman and lifted her up and before she could react she had her pinned against the tree. Kate laughed, "Insulted your reputation have I?" She kicked Rebecca away from her, but Rebecca tackled her to the ground and the two tussled wildly down over the hillside.

Tuck and Allan ran down to catch up with them, roaring and shouting for them to stop. Rebecca would not stop. Not now. She was like a wild animal, attacking blindly. "Ya want t' know about my reputation?" She challenged as she swung at her, "I was a servant t' a great and noble family. My father was the manservant t' the lord o' the manor and his greatest friend. He went t' war with him and he died with him. He taught me loyalty an' how t' protect those that I loved! An' I did. I became friends with the master's son. His battles were mine, an' mine his!" She gave a cry as Kate jabbed her in the back, she fell to her knees, but she lunged and knocked the woman over onto her back.

"One by one I saw his people turn their backs on him. He was made an outcast by those he only ever tried t' help. He was taken from me, and I didn't fight for him! He was my life an' I didn't fight for him! An' ya...all o' ya mocked me an' called me whore, disloyal, slut, an' coward. So," Rebecca shouted throwing Kate against a tree and pining her against it, "perhaps ya think it's my divine punishment my son was taken from me, too? My son...my innocent little child...would ya have condemned him along with his father?!"

Tuck pulled her off of Kate, holding her arms behind her back. "Rebecca! Rebecca, that's enough...enough!"

Kate backed away gasping, blood dripping down her lips. She wiped at it with the back of her hand, staring at the wild-eyed Rebecca.

"If I hear ya mention my son again I'll kill ya." Rebecca swore. She shrugged out of Tuck's grasp and righted herself. The three remaining members of the gang stared at her as if at any moment she would turn on them. "I am not useless." She said, wiping blood away from a cut above her eye as she turned to walk away back up the path.

"You're bleeding!" Kate said.

"Yeah?" Rebecca replied, "So are you." She then promptly collapsed, a thick, dark stain steadily spreading along her back....

***

When Rebecca awoke she was back in the outlaw's camp. She gave a small groan and sat up, feeling the weight of fresh bandages push against her chest and back. She was surprised to find Kate standing over her. Rebecca glared up at her, "What d'ya want?"

"I...I wanted to apologize. For what I said to you...it was uncalled for." Kate stammered.

Rebecca was nonplused, "Apologize? Who put ya up t' it? Tuck?"

"Look, I don't have to like you an' I'm not saying I'm ever going to, but I crossed a line. I should never have spoken—I...it wasn't my place to judge you." Kate said.

"No, it wasn't." Rebecca agreed, "but I overreacted...there was no need t' hurt you."

"You did pack quite a punch there." Kate admitted, touching the bruise forming above her cheekbone.

Rebecca actually managed a laugh in spite of herself, "You're one t' talk." She gestured towards her black eye. "If Tuck an' Allan hadn't been there ya would have killed me."

"You're joking. You would have killed me!" Kate giggled.

The laughter suddenly vanished.

"Still don't like you." Kate spat suddenly, moving away from the bunk, crossing her arms.

"Good. Glad o' it. Don't like ya so much either." Rebecca retorted, turning away from the woman.

As soon as silence once again settled over the camp a rushed shout from outside alerted the gang's attention. John and Allan came running into the camp. There was no time for friendly greetings, "Robin's in trouble!" John said, "Isabella's on her way to York with her guards."

The gang assembled themselves with no further urging. Rebecca sprang to her feet as well.

"We'll have to cut across the forest if we want to catch up with her." Allan said as the gang circled up to hear the plan.

"I should tell you to stay in the camp." Tuck said to Rebecca.

"Just ya try." Rebecca said, "Besides, Robin told me t' stay with ya...he never said anything 'bout staying in the camp. I'm going with ya."

"You'll need a weapon then." Tuck said, "Here."

Rebecca took the short sword from Tuck. She held the sword aloft, staring wonderingly at the blade, having never held one of her own before. "I don't know how t' use it." She said.

"Let's hope you won't have to. Come on then."

Accepting scabbard and belt, Rebecca felt like a true forester now. She took off with the rest of the gang. So they still did not accept her fully, but at least they realized she could fight as well as any of them. She could hear dull warning bells in her head telling her that this was not right. She was not a fighter, she couldn't raise a hand to kill anyone; but there was another louder and more reckless voice in her head urging her on. All the anger and all the fear and hatred were rising to the surface. She wanted to feel a little of that chaos to drown the sorrow out.

From over the crest of the hill she could see Isabella and her train of soldiers riding out. If she had had her way she would have ran down and fought them all, but she knew she had to listen to the others. Following Tuck's orders they gang hid themselves. Allan notched an arrow to his bow, a string was tied to the arrow. At Tuck's signal Allan released the arrow, tripping up two of the soldiers. This caught Isabella's attention. At once the gang attacked.

Blood pounded in Rebecca's ears as she shot out of her hiding place. She attacked the remaining guards with blind energy. She used her sword more like a battering ram than a blade and a sick and marvellous energy devoured her heart as she fought. They managed to unseat Isabella from her horse and Rebecca could see her staring at her in shock. Rebecca pointed her sword at her and smiled. She even laughed as Isabella ran away from the scene of the skirmish.

The gang rounded up the rest of the horses and soon they were riding off to York.

***

Rebecca had never been so far out of Nottingham before. She felt a crashing wave of freedom sweep over her. She had to fight to remain in line with the rest of the gang as she rode. She wanted to ride as far and as fast as she could towards the looming grey walls of the city, but she had to remain calm and collected. Already she had been warned to keep close to the others. They had to rescue Robin and Guy. Didn't she want to make sure they got out of York alive, they asked her? If only they knew that her entire life had been a series of rescues, and each time she had managed to save Guy. So now there were soldiers and battles and blood, it was all the same in her eyes.

They dismounted as soon as they entered the city and it became apparent where the crowds were heading towards: a public execution. The gang blended in with the general populace and made their way towards the spectacle. Rebecca could clearly see Robin and Guy, accompanied by a third stranger. They were sitting atop three horses as the nooses dangled ominously overhead. Before a plan could be set into motion, an explosion rocked the town square. Smoke filled the air and Rebecca had to cover her mouth to keep from choking.

Kate grabbed her by the arm to keep from losing her as the gang used the chaos to their advantaged. As the smoke cleared the third man had already disappeared from his perch, leaving Guy and Robin to their own devices. Robin had managed to get down from the horse and Kate cut through his bonds. It was then Rebecca realized that Guy could not escape so easily, not with the noose already about his neck.

"Robin!" Rebecca shouted.

Turning to see the problem, Robin raised his bow and arrow and shot at the rope. It came away and Guy immediately swung himself off the horse. Rebecca ran towards him. He seemed surprised to see her. "Is this a rescue?" He asked her.

His amusement rankled her. Rebecca merely unsheathed her sword and cut through the bonds tying his hands together. "Don't flatter yourself." She said, "If it had been up t' me I'd have let ya swing." And then she was away again, helping to clear an escape path with the rest of the gang.

Seeing that their horses as well as a few of the guards' had been left unwatched, Rebecca stole the moment to lead the animals away from the battle. She would take them to the city gates and the gang could meet her there. She saw the others take off in the same direction. Gripping the reigns of the horses she led them along. She was nearly bowled over as a man rode directly passed her. She recognized the stranger as the man who was due to be hanged along with Robin and Guy. She had the suspicion that this was the fabled brother she had so recently heard of. Why wasn't he with the rest of the gang?

She turned down the corner to see the others. She whistled, getting their attention. "Right then, you lot, I'd say it's about time we disappeared."

Wild shouts from beyond the alley alerted the gang that soldiers were following hard on their heels. Without further delay the group were quick to mount their horses. Rebecca was about to mount her own when an arrow flew past over head, startling the animal. The horse reared up in fright at the sudden attack. Rebecca did not have time to still the creature. Seeing the soldiers charging towards her, Rebecca could feel the familiar sickening thrill rise in her. She drew her sword and rushed at them, thinking to buy the others a bit more time. This was easy, she thought as she used the hilt of her sword to knock out of the men.

"Rebecca!" Robin shouted.

"I can catch up." Rebecca yelled.

"Is she mad?" Allan said, "They'll kill her."

One of the soldiers had already knocked the sword from Rebecca's hands. She tried to defend herself with her fists alone. She dodged a few strikes from a sword, but felt her arm sting as one sliced inches from her shoulder.

Breaking away from the gang, Guy rode towards the soldiers. Rebecca was blind to the charge until she was swept up and thrown across the horse like a sack of grain. "What are ya doing?" She roared as Guy rode back to the rest of the gang and they sped from the city.

Rebecca continued shouting curses at Guy for dragging her away until they were significantly down the road away from York. "What were you thinking?" He shouted at her, hauling her up so that she could properly situate herself on the horse, "Were you trying to get yourself killed?!"

"I was fine!" Rebecca screamed, "I had everything under control!"

"Five guards, Becca, you thought you could go up against five highly trained soldiers?!"

"Don't ya try an coddle me. An' let me down. I'll not ride with ya." Rebecca said struggling.

"Then walk. Robin won't bother waiting for you and neither will I. Let's see you find your way back to Nottingham without us." Guy shrugged.

"Insufferable bastard!"

"Believe me, Becca, the feeling is mutual." Guy said.

He pulled her tight against his chest to stop her from struggling. This did nothing to silence her; however, and for the rest of the way back to Nottingham she muttered the most creative curses Guy had ever heard.

When they arrived back in Sherwood night had already fallen. All were exceedingly relieved to see the camp again. Before entering; however, the gang let the horses go so as not to leave tracks leading straight into the canyon where their camp was located. Guy and Rebecca promptly separated, both going in opposite directions of the camp and depositing themselves in either corner like brooding children.

Noticing the darkening mood, Robin had a word with Tuck.

"She's a loose arrow, Robin." Tuck said honestly, "Starting fights within the group and running straight into danger without fear of the consequences. I'm sorry, Robin, but she won't be able to stay if she continues to behave like this."

"This isn't like her." Robin said, "I know Rebecca. She can be a bit sharp at times, but she's not violent."

"Tell that to Kate. She wanted to kill her earlier." Tuck said. "I understand that she's angry, and she has every right to be, but she won't trust us, Robin. She'll fight because she's hurt, but she won't fight for us, and I doubt she would listen to anything I could tell her."

"I know someone she would listen to." Robin said.

"No, Robin. I know what you're thinking." Tuck warned.

"It doesn't matter what I think of Gisborne, or how any of us think of him." Robin said, "He and Rebecca were friends once, and she needs him." He sighed, "I'm putting them both on midnight watch and they can work this out between the both of them."

"And if they don't?" Tuck asked.

"I can't afford to have us divided. Rebecca either learns to trust us, or I'll have no choice, she'll have to leave."

Early Summer, 1173

It was hard navigating her way through the woods in the dark. The moon was a thin crescent, and hardly any light trickled down through the blocky trees which now rose like looming giants in the shadows. Rebecca tripped and tumbled her way through the forest until she found her way to the thicket closest to the river. Parting the undergrowth which led into the nest of leaves and ferns she stumbled into the green-grey of the dark wood.

She could hear the steady trickle of the stream which met with the river at the edge of the wood. The sound, which was usually so soothing was now a source of agitation as she waited alone in the dark. She hugged herself. She was tired and sore from running about so late in the night and crashing her way clumsily through a dark wood. There was no sign of Guy. If he had led her on a wild chase to nowhere...

"Becca?"

She whirled about to see a shadowy figure part the foliage and enter into their shelter. "You came." He almost seemed surprised.

Rebecca had never had a cause to be so righteously angered with him in all her life. As soon as he came close enough she gave him a forceful shove backwards. "Don't ya ever think t' order me about like that again! An' where d'ya think ya had the right t' question my feelings for ya? I shouldn't have t' go traipsing about in the middle of the night just t' make ya believe in my friendship."

"Is it so hard to prove your loyalty to me?" Guy said.

"Don't ya dare question my loyalty t' ya!" Rebecca shouted, eyes burning.

"Then why were you so willing to give up our friendship before?" Guy challenged.

"I didn't mean that! I thought only o' ya. I was trying t' protect ya. The servants gossip already an' I know the villagers do too. What if they suspect...what if they think that..."

"I don't care what they think." Guy said.

"I know that's a lie. You've always cared." Rebecca snapped, "Ya always did everything ya could for them. They don't care. No matter how many times ya try an' help them they'll never like ya, Guy!"

"I don't need them to like me, but I will be their master and they will learn to respect me." Guy said.

"Not if ya don't fight for it, they won't. Ya have t' start acting like a noble's son or they'll see ya as a foolish an' spoiled child."

"Oh, and is that how you see me?" Guy snapped.

"Ya know I that I don't!"

"Then why do you think I need constant reminding of it? Every day, Becca, you state the consequences of what would happen if we were found out. You don't think I don't know? You didn't used to be this way. You used to not care about the others. I want your help not your spite. I want you, I...I..." He fidgeted uncomfortably, "I need you."

This declaration silenced Rebecca. All the anger ebbed away from her. She felt her body unwind like a tightly wound coil, "I need ya too, Guy." She whispered.

There was a steady silence for a time before Rebecca gave a small chuckle, "I don't think we've ever fought before."

Guy shook his head. "Becca, you know I don't really doubt your friendship..."

"I know. I'm afraid of losing ya too." Rebecca admitted, fitting her arms about him.

"Now," She sighed happily, "Can we go back home? It's late an' I'm tired."

The two walked back to the manor. All was as they had left it, no one had seemed to notice that they had gone missing. They entered as quiet as mice, careful not to wake anyone. Guy stayed with her as Rebecca went to the servant's quarters. Seeing that everyone was still sleeping, they were in no danger of being caught together.

"Hate this..." Rebecca whispered, as she stood in the doorway with Guy.

"What?"

"Saying good night. Sometimes I want...I think about...staying with ya through the night." She said shyly.

A hot and cold thrill shuddered through Guy. He would be lying to her if he said he had not thought of the same thing on more than on occasion, but he never knew Rebecca had been having similar thoughts.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" She asked hesitantly.

Did she honestly believe he would refuse? "Of course." He said immediately.

Rebecca led him over to her cot, removing her shoes and her dress so that she was clad only in her shift. She lay down upon the cot and Guy lay beside her. He placed an arm about her and she buried herself against him. She held him close to her, but it wasn't enough. Something was lacking, something she couldn't quite understand. She could tell from the way Guy was holding her that he was exerting the same amount of restraint that she was. She forced those burning thoughts from her mind as she tried to settle into sleep. She felt Guy kiss her forehead and smooth back her hair. She smiled into the darkness and gently slipped into sleep. She was blissfully unaware of when Guy had to force himself to leave her.

A/N: Yes, that long awaited conversation between Guy and Rebecca is on it's way. I decided to edit it out of this chapter and put it at the start of the next one because I wanted to give it the proper space it needed. The next chapter might be a long time in coming, as school work is piling up and 'tis the season to apply for internships! Wish me luck! :)

Also, a few lines of dialogue were taken from S3 ep11, and so they are (c) BBC.