Evening

Sivella walked through the hallway. She was actually glad that she knew her way around the house so well. It was very large, with many rooms. She had managed to evade Thomas, which was her top priority, and keeping away from Inara, well that was her second priority. And her aunt, that probably was her third. But most of all, she just wanted to crawl under a stone and stay there for a very long time. Maybe until she would be alone again. Well, not really alone, just away from Thomas, and her aunt with her prying all-knowing eyes, and all these questions. However, it was evening now. It was dark outside. The rooms had become silent. Everyone was probably asleep. She suspected that Inara was still wandering around somewhere, she wouldn't go to sleep without saying something to Sivella. But Sivella just wanted something to eat so she passed the kitchen door and then halted instantly when she saw Thomas standing near the sink. It was too late to turn back now. A cold feeling spread through her whole body. Great. Just great. Of all the people, HE has to be in the kitchen. She didn't see any escape route. And she knew she had avoided him, and he knew she had done just that. And knowing him, he wouldn't let her get away with that. She was just so tired. Not ready for this at all! But then again, she would probably never be if she could choose..

Inara's room

Inara looked outside into the darkness and sighed. She was quite tired. But she wanted to find Sivella just before she would go to sleep. She had waited for Sivella to come herself, but instead Sivella had probably chosen to put her head in the sand and hide herself somewhere. Inara shook her head. It was weird, but she felt that she knew how Sivella felt right now. So confused. Annoyed, irritated. But somewhere, Inara wondered if Sivella wasn't glad too, to have this chance. To meet Thomas again. Inara's brows knitted together as she remembered the way Sivella had acted during dinner. She was also worried about her, the woman needed to relax, not to have these extra strains and tensions with everything that was going on right now. She walked towards the door and decided that she would find Sivella. She wanted to take away some of her tension, if that were possible.

Kitchen

Thomas leaned casually against the counter as he saw Sivella and put his arms in front of his muscular chest.

Sivella moved casually towards the cupboard to get a glass and avoided eye contact.

'And enjoying the scenery?' She asked flatly as she filled the glass with water. She had to say something, so she choose the superficial treatment for him.

'Very.' He stated as he followed her every move.

'What are you really doing here?' Sivella suddenly snapped as she turned towards him with fire spitting out of her eyes. She couldn't not snap.

'How nice to see you too.' He said as he made a point of eyeing her from her toes till her head.

'Don't play me. What do you want.'

'What do I want? Well that's a question there. There are a lot of things I want. But the first thing on my list is knowing how you are doing.'

She uttered a short sarcastic laugh. 'Why would you even care.' She said poiseness.

He shrugged. 'You're the Companion here, the man-expert. Why don't you figure it out?' He stated nonchalantly.

Hallway

Inara tiptoed the hallway and smiled broadly as she thought of Mal. Petulia had offered that they could share a room, but they both had declined. O, how she would have loved to be in his bed. But this felt for the best. What had happened these last days, letting him closer, it already changed so much for her, frightened her sometimes to great lenghts. It was best to change as less as possible for the coming days. To go slow. She smiled and felt warm as she thought about Mal's words only this morning. How he had told her that she was special to him, that he wanted to take it slow.

Kitchen

'I just can't come up with a reason, besides annoying the hell out of me and being in my way.' She said as she opened another cupboard, looking for something small to eat.

'Yes, that's it.' Thomas said. 'I had a few vacationdays and thought, what shall I do? Why don't I go to the woman who I used to know once and who suddenly left without saying as much as goodbye. O, and by the by, I get to hear that said woman is beaten up by one of my supposed family friends, has kidnapped his children and stabbed him and fled. You've been busy. You got bored with Companioning?' He asked lightly.

Her hands froze in the cupboard as she eyed him with a dangerous glare.

The Porch

Mal sat himself down sadly on the bench near the window. He could hear the poiseness voices coming from the kitchen. Maybe he shouldn't be eavesdropping, but he had been here before they were even in the kitchen. And it really was a very nice night.

He stared at his lap while he recognised the crescendo of the words and insults that were thrown between the two persons. He clenched his jaw as he remembered how bad he had felt, how many times this had been going on between Inara and him. It was so difficult when you wanted something so badly from the inside, but when you just couldn't get it out right. He was so glad things seemed to be changing between them now. But still, it felt so fragile. He was afraid that it was all a dream, in which he would wake up and suddenly all would be back to normal. Normal as in an angry Inara. Normal as in that cold feeling in his stomach when he had pushed her away again.

Kitchen

'No I just got bored with some of the people on that dump that they call a planet.' She said as she eyed him meaningfully.

He shook his head as he raised an eyebrow and sighed. 'You know, I really thought we had something nice going the last months.' He stated.

She looked away. 'Maybe you were wrong.' She said as she read the package of a muesli box.

The porch

And that woman really knew how to say things, how to hurt. In a way, he felt for Sivella. He remembered those first days she had been on Serenity. How she had seemed to know so many things, how wise she had seemed. How she had advised him indirectly about Inara. And he was happy for that too. But it was kind of sad that she couldn't listen to her own advise. That she herself was doing to exact same thing to another man. That's just how things went, Mal pondered. He wasn't one to think deeply many times but sometimes he just did. Thinking about life, about people.

Kitchen

'Why didn't you tell me?' He asked earnestly, she could hear raw emotion in his voice.

She didn't know what to say.

'I thought we were friends.' He stated.

She shrugged as she took a bowl and filled it with the muesli, all the while avoiding eye contact.

'You know Thomas.' She began as she looked at him. Her eyes stood hard. 'Companions don't have long term relationships. We don't have any need for them. We don't have any need for people. Companions don't have friends.'

The porch

Mal looked up at that. He sure hoped that that weren't true. No, he knew that that weren't true.

Kitchen

Thomas shook his head annoyed. He knew what she was doing, she had her thick mask on again.

'What about miss Serra?'

'Miss Serra is like a sister to me.' They were off topic now and she wanted him to leave. 'Is there something else you wanted?' She asked lightly as she poured milk in the bowl.

'Is this how far it has come now? We can't even have a normal conversation anymore?' He asked.

'Now you are just fooling yourself Thomas: we never could.' She said as her dark eyes gave him a dark look. She put the milk back.

He leaned towards her on the table. 'Great to know that you still have your avoiding techniques in many variaties and can use them creatively, at least Blake hasn't broken that.'

She stopped her actions but still didn't look at him. She just stared in the mug of muesli.

'I like to talk to you, not to the Companion with the many layers and walls around her.'

The porch

Mal stood up quickly. He felt like he was invading now. He knew exaclty how Thomas felt. Those walls, those layers, he hated them. They brought so much hurt. He knew he'd had them himself too, those walls. You thought they protected you, but in the end, all they gave you was a lot of coldness. He shivered as he moved away from the bench quickly, as if he wanted to have that feeling away when he almost bumped into someone who opened the door softly. It was Inara who collided with his body by accident, she leaned against his chest and looked up at him with big eyes. He saw her eyes shine, as if she had tears in them. And then he saw that she recognised him. She studied his eyes. And it was like they both knew that they had both overheard Thomas and Sivella's last words. They kissed each other simultanously as they held onto each other tightly. It was as if they both realised all too well what they both had been doing for so long. What they had been missing out on.

Kitchen

She looked up at him at that, with a fierce look. 'You are talking to me.' She stated.

He shook his head. 'It saddens me that you still feel the need to push me away. I would have helped you you know, if I had known. If you'd only said something.' He saw something change in her eyes. Her lip trembled ever so slightly before she pushed that away.

'You don't know what you are talking about.' She said as she walked towards the fridge to put the milk back. When she turned around he was standing behind her.

'Why don't you explain?' He said as he looked down at her.

She passed him. 'I don't feel the need to.'

'Yes, why don't you run away again? You always run.' He stated.

That made her stop in her tracks angrily. 'What did you say?' She snapped.

'What? Are you denying that you always run?'

'I do not always run.' She stated poiseness.

'In fact, it's what you are best at, running. You should become a runner, if that were a proffesion. But then again, you're pretty good at putting layers around you and masks and manipulating so your current proffesion is probably best suited for you.'

'You- You're such a-' She began as she looked for a mean word.

The Porch

'It's pretty bad between them.' Mal whispered softly against her ear. She could feel his warm breath tickling her skin. She nodded sadly against his chin as she sought his lips again.

'At least they're facing each other.' Inara said after a long kiss. She held Mal's face between her hands as she stared at him.

'She's a good woman, your friend.' Mal said.

Inara smiled. 'Yes, a good woman with big claws sadly enough.' She got a sad look on her face. 'And it's only become worse. I so hope..' Inara paused momentarily.

'What?' Mal asked softly.

'I so hope that she'll let him close.' She studied his face again, her nostrils wide. 'I denied myself so long.' Inara said as she caressed his cheek. 'Buddha knows how many times I pushed you away, while I really... Really wanted you close.' She admitted softly.

Mal nodded as he kissed her again.

Kitchen

'What? Why don't you tell me what I am?' He said as he walked towards her slowly. 'Did you swallow your tongue? Out of words suddenly? Somehow I find that hard to believe.'

'You're a stupid, annoying, irritating, obnoxious, arrogant bastard! Why are you here?! WHY! Is it to torment me?' Sivella shouted heatedly.

'Do you want to know why? Really?' He asked as he was standing almost near her now.

'Why don't you tell me.' Sivella spat at him as she put her hands in her sides.

'Are you sure? Because I know your habit of rather running away and sticking your head in the sand then facing something.'

'O please, don't spare me!' Sivella shot at him sharply as she felt insulted by his remark.

He seemed to think for a moment.

'Is it to torment the little Companion?!' Sivella bit at him in a sarcastic tone, thinking that he took too long to answer. 'Does it make you feel better about yours-' Her words got smothered the moment he pushed his mouth on hers and kissed her passionately. Her breathing caught in her throat as he pushed her hard against his body. She froze instantly. After a few seconds he let go. She was too shocked to react instantly.

The porch

Inara and Mal both had stopped kissing seconds ago, with Inara's forehead pushed against his chin, and there bodies close they listened and stood like frozen. It was clear to them what had just happened inside. Inara flinched when she heard the familiar sound of a slap in the face.

'Ouch.' Mal mumbled in her hair as he imagined Thomas getting slapped in his face. He felt Inara move away from him and moving toward the door but he stopped her.

'Maybe better let them be.'

'They'll kill each other.' Inara said worried.

'We didn't kill each other did we?' He reminded her softly.

Inara sighed softly. She hated feeling so powerless.

Kitchen

'How dare you!' Sivella stated as she panted hard and looked at Thomas with obvious anger.

'What? You wanted the answer. Now you've got it.' Thomas said dryly as he shrugged, he had warned her after all..

She took a step back and pulled Inara's large scarve around her slender frame closer to her body. 'And you got my answer back.' She snapped coldly.

'Ofcourse, how else would you have reacted.'

'You don't get to kiss me, ever again.' She stated coldly as she looked at him warningly.

'That's okay.' He said nonchalantly as he crossed his arms in front of his broad chest again. 'You'll kiss me soon enough. I'll just wait for that.' He smirked.

'I will help you out of that dream instantly.' She snapped coldly. She took a step towards him. 'I won't put any more of my energy in you because you are beneath me.' She snapped as she marched off.

The porch

Inara held her breath as she heard Sivella leaving angrily.

'This seems awkwardly familiar.' Mal whispered in her ear.

Inara remembered how she had cried so hard, how hurt she had been the moment Mal had come out of Nandi's room in the morning. She knew for sure that Sivella would feel bad right now too.

Inara stared at Thomas back through the window. She didn't see him though, she saw something else. She saw her pushing Mal away. Over and over. She saw him pushing her away. The insults, the fights, the anger. O, and yes, how she had wanted to fight him days ago. How much easier that made everything. How good it was to keep him further away then an arms length. But at the same time how she would miss him.

She remembered the way he had stepped in front of her instantly when Joe had pointed the gun at her. He would have given his life for her. How he had held her when she had cried so hard when she had felt so hurt by Sivella. How he had promised her to help her with Sivella. He was always there. He always came for her. She knew that. And she saw clearly now what Sivella was doing. And what she was doing. Sivella had been right. It was almost the same. Inara looked up at Mal again.

'Mal, I have to go to her.' Inara said softly as she loosened herself slowly and pushed one light kiss against his mouth. Her thoughts already occupied with her friend.

He nodded in agreement.

Sivella's room

Inara knocked.

'No.' Came Sivella's answer.

Inara smirked as she opened the door anyway, being greeted by a warning glare from Sivella who was sitting on the ground with her back against the wall. When she recognised Inara her eyes turned warmer.

'Inara, I was just sitting and thinking-' She began in a normal voice, trying to convince Inara that everything was okay but Inara knew better. She closed the distance between them quickly and sat down next to Sivella who was trying to choke away her tears.

'I heard everything.' Inara clearified softly as she put her arm around Sivella's shoulders.

'That must have been a show.' Sivella muttered as she pulled up her knees and rested her chin against them.

'No it wasn't, it was horrible.' Inara said softly as she pushed away a strand of Sivella's hair out of her face.

'Yes it was, wasn't it?' Sivella asked as she looked with tearstained eyes up at Inara. 'I can be so mean.' She said as tears began to roll over her cheeks.

Inara sighed deep. 'You're just afraid. Like I was.' Inara said as she caressed Sivella's hair. 'And believe me, I was very afraid.' She said as she pulled Sivella against her.

'Just cry. Cry as much as you want.' Inara whispered as she made soothing motions over Sivella's back.

'This is a nightmare, I don't know what to do. I feel horrible.' Sivella's voice came in panick. 'O Inara, so many things went wrong. So many things. I need rest.'

'Yes you do.' Inara whispered. 'Everything will become clear if you listen to yourself. Just relax, let it all wash over you.' Inara said soothingly.

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And what did you think? Please let me know, I hope it wasn't too sappy... But I began this story with in the back of my mind the idea that someone else then Inara would have the same problems then she had, with Mal, and I wanted Inara and Mal to notice that in some sort of way so I USED Sivella and Thomas. (poor them!) Next chapter will be full of action again....