Songs are by Voyage and Within Temptation. I don't own anything from Supernatural or the songs.
Frozen
Never look back 'cause it hurts
My heart is so cold
I feel the frost
Never look back
Voyage
Dean pulled his car over near the edge of the small graveyard and killed the engine. For a few minutes he just sat there, staring blankly ahead. Avoiding the rear-view mirror. Avoiding the sight of his brother lying in the backseat.
Dead.
Covered in salt and wrapped up in linen. Ready to be put to rest. He took a shuddering breath. Maybe it was better like this. Sam had no more guilt. No more Lucifer hunting after him. No more apocalypse to worry about. Sam was finally free.
That didn't make it hurt any less.
Lucifer had made no attempt to bring Sam back. Maybe because Sam was hidden from him, maybe because he just didn't want to. Dean had almost wished for the devil to show. But he hadn't. And his brother stayed dead.
"I'm sorry, Sammy," he whispered to the empty space in front of him. "I should have seen it coming. I should have stopped you."
He took a deep breath, the images still spinning through his head. The ghost throwing Sam across the room and grabbing his head with blue sparks on his fingers. Sam raising his gun to his own head.
You or me.
"You know I'd do anything to get you back," muttered Dean. "Anything. But I can't, Sammy. I did it once and you know how well that ended. What's dead should stay dead, even if it's you." He closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Sam." The empty passenger seat felt cold beside him.
"God, I'm so sorry."
The Reaper cleared her throat. "Anyway, we are not here to establish how stupid you are. You are here to make a choice."
"What choice?"
The Reaper leaned forward slightly in her seat. "You see, suicide isn't exactly a crime that gets the hell-hounds on your ass. Just like any soul that comes here, you have a choice. Move on, to hell that is. Or go back."
"Back where?"
She rolled her eyes. "Earth of course. Though you can't exactly get back in your body. A bullet lodged in you brainstem does that to you."
He stood up. "Then I want to go back."
She raised her hands. "Wait a second Sam, I'm not done yet."
He shook his head. "What else is there to say?"
She stood up and planted her feet firmly apart, her heels digging into the carpet. "Let me spell it out for you, Sam Winchester. If you go back there, you know what you'll become right? A spirit. Maybe you'll be able to help you brother, maybe not. But eventually he will die. In his case probably sooner rather than later. And you'll stay. You'll never be able to move on. You will stay and watch Lucifer turn the world into his personal playground. And I'm warning you, he's got a terrible taste in interior decorating."
Sam huffed. "So it's either hell or hell on earth. Not much of a choice, now is it?"
"You're right, it isn't." She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the chair with surprising strength. "That is why I have a third option for you. Sit."
He sat down and crossed his arms. "What?"
"Manners Sammy. This is and option I don't give to everybody. In fact, you are the first one. So listen carefully. I can end it. Right here, right now. No hell, no earth. You simply cease to exist. Forever. How does that sound?"
"Boring."
She chuckled. "It does, doesn't it? But think about it. It all ends now. No more apocalypse. No more…"
"No."
"What do you mean, no?" Her smile vanished. "Do you realise what I am offering here?"
"Yes I do." Sam smiled softly. "I get that you are trying to help me. And thank you, really, but I can't accept. I'm sorry."
"Why not?"
He looked away from her. "I left my brother there. I left him because I was stupid enough to let a ghost get the drop on me. I abandoned him. Dean is strong, but I know he'll go to pieces. The last time I left him like this he did something incredibly stupid. I can't let that happen."
"You are a fool, you know that? A stupid, idiotic fool." She stood up and started pacing the room. "Do you think your brother wants this? Do you think he wants you to turn into one of the things he hates? One of the things he hunts? Come on, Sam…"
"I have made my choice," said Sam firmly."
She glared at him. "Well then, what are you waiting for?" She pointed at the door. "I'd hurry up if I were you. He's about to salt and burn you."
Everything will slip away
Shattered pieced will remain
Where memories fade into emptiness
Only time will tell it's tale
If it all has been in vain
Within Temptation