Sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter! I think I was able to make up for it this chapter though!

Chapter 18

If I had thought that I had some control over my emotions and feelings from the two months of 'training' I had forced myself to go through, I was completely and entirely...Dead Wrong. I never knew that there was so much to deal with in myself. That there was so much that you could put yourself through, and still, somehow, come out partly unscathed. But then, that wasn't me. I was putting myself through a hell that I found painfully addicting, and coming out with many, many wounds.

Pleasurable suffering. That is what I am dragging myself through. I can bleed to death for all I care, but if it's him, the male that I find myself thinking about twenty four seven, dreaming and fantisizing about, that was causing it, then I would somehow find a morbid pleasure in dying. At least, that's what I feel. Weird and odd, call it whatever you like. Call it a crush. But I know it is something more.

Something not even I'm sure about. And that scares me.

As I stared with big eyes up at him, I could feel all this. All the things that I had trapped into the back of mind from the moment I layed eyes on him, was charging back with such a force,that if I was standing, it would easily bring me to my knees.

I was hyper aware of him. Every part of him as he hovered over me. And his cool gaze was sending shivers up and down my spine.

"Why do you look so worried?" he asked softly. His deep voice just made the shivers more intense.

I blinked and tried to swallow the nervousness. "Because I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up." My voice was so quiet I was surprised he heard it.

He smirked and lowered his head, his cheek brushing mine, and whispered in my ear, "This isn't a dream."

My breath hitched in my throat, and my heart did an odd flip in my chest. I couldn't think straight, but I knew that I needed to. The one question, me wanting to know when and how exactly he found out about me, would not be blurred from my mind. It was about the only thing that wouldn't, everything else was so fogged it would take awhile for me to get my bearings straight.

His low chuckle brought me out of my daze, and I could almost feel him smirking.

"Are you really so shocked that I know?" the humor was evident in his voice, and I still felt the trembling continue to flow in my veins.

I took in a shaky breath and asked, "How...When did you...?" I trailed off, not able to form the question past the haze in my head.

His answering laugh was deep in his chest and vibrated through me. I realized then exactly why I liked his voice, because it would always reverbrate throughout my body. Coarse through me like my own blood.

He pressed his face closer to the side of my face, and I could feel his lips against my ear. "From the moment I looked into your eyes, I was suspicous. And then, when I saw you in the club, it was just obvious." he paused, and then continued in his deep whisper. "I spent the time at the table brooding. Trying to understand why I was so drawn to you. But you distracted me when we danced."

I was to shocked to say anything, and he continued.

"At the booth, I was trying to figure it out again. And I almost had the answer. That is, until Kiba interrupted." I felt his smile. "On the way home, it was difficult to not touch you beside me. To not grab you and demand why I was thinking so much of you, why you wouldn't leave me to my own thoughts."

My eyes widened, and my breathing stopped. So he felt it. He knew at least a fraction of what I was going through everytime he was close, and the torture of when he wasn't.

"I've always heard the phrase, 'being burned alive'. But i've never really thought much about it or put much belief into it." He chuckled. "But I understand now. When you wrapped your arms around me last night when we found you and Kiba screaming, I thought that my skin had burst into flames."

My lungs were on fire and I let out a shaky breath, only to have it hitch into my throat again when I felt him press his body against mine.

"Why does your touch do this?" his question was demanded in a low growl, and it almost sent me into a coma. Everything, my emotions, felt like they had been intensified tenfold by his tone.

I gulped and tightly closed my eyes before I answered, "Welcome to my life for the past two months."

He chuckled, and pulled his face away from me only to gaze into my eyes, his lips quirked in an amused grin. "It has been amusing to watch you act like a male." he cocked his head slightly. "I wonder what all you've seen."

I blushed furiously and bit my lip while I looked away. He growled and I snapped my gaze back to his warm eyes.

"Don't look away, I want to see your eyes. I want to see the real Matsuri that has been hiding."

The way my name rolled off his lips made my heart beat painfully against my ribs. My real name and not 'Mat', the person that I had been forced to be for so long, to long.

He was so close. So very very close! My body ached for him to be even closer, but I didn't know how to do that. The aching was an actual pain, physical and mental. Making my insides knot and twist in on themselves. It was a turmoil of confusion and want and desire. What did I have to do to ease it? It was hurting! It was getting to be to much for me to handle!

My firm grip on reality and everything I had ever known and felt was crumbling in heaps inside my head, and it felt like the last bit of sanity that I had was falling with it. Taking away logical thought and rationality. Thoughts whirred around and around in my fogged head, and I couldn't find the way to clear it. Make it easier to think.

He felt the same. He felt what I had been going through, and he knew about me. He knew who I was and he wasn't rejecting me. He wasn't turning away and he wasn't angry. He was hovering over me and causing my head to become a confused and tangled mess. He was pressed against me, making my body react in ways that I was not familier with. It made me feel like a blind person groping around for the answer.

His lips captured mine.

I was taken completely by surprise, and I didn't react. I was only aware of how his warm mouth was pressed against mine, something I had yearned for for what felt like a lifetime. How his lips moved in a dance that somehow, I knew how to follow.

Slowly, I pressed against his mouth with mine and my eyes slipped closed. The blood pounded behind my ears, and my heartbeat sounded like a hummingbird's wings. I was in a complete bliss, a comforting, exciting, unexplainable bliss.

His mouth wreaked as much havoc on mine as he had done to my being since I had met him. It was amazing.

I jumped slightly and emitted a gasp when I felt his teeth nip my bottom lip. He chuckled as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. I think I had a miniature heart attack then, because I could swear my heart did a little odd sputter in my chest and picked up in over time. I was enthralled with the sensations shooting through me as his tongue danced with mine. It was amazing, and I was loving every second of it.

I felt him cup my chin in his grip, and tilt my head to the side in order for him to get better access. My body trembled in response, and he pressed himself closer. He was the only thing keeping me together at that moment.

Everything became a thick haze, then. I was only aware of him and me. That's all there was and that's all there needed to be.

But of course, as the famous saying goes, not all things last forever.

"GAARA! MAT! GET UP, WE'RE ALL GOING OUT FOR BREAKFAST!" Naruto's booming voice yelled from the hall as he pounded on the door.

Gaara growled low in his chest, and pulled away slightly. His face was mere inches away from mine.

His cool gaze searched my eyes, and a sigh escaped his lips.

"Do you think anyone will miss that blonde if he suddenly disappears?" Gaara's husky voice questioned as he glanced over at the door.

"COME ON YOU GUYS! I'M HUNGRY!" Naruto whined loudly.

I giggled softly, and Gaara looked down at me and smirked. "Yeah, I think Sakura would miss him." I teased.

"Hmm. Your right." he ran his lips over my jawline, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. "Then I guess we should get up."

He rose slowly off me, grabbing my hand and bringing me with him, and walked toward the door. Quickly, before he could open the door to the blonde, I darted across the room and ducked under my blankets.

He glanced over his shoulder at me and I gave him a look that said I would explain later.

"What do you want Naruto?" he deadpanned as he glared at him.

Naruto gave a cheezy grin and scratched his cheek absently as he replied, "Me and the guys are going to go and get breakfast with the girls, you and Mat gotta come to."

"Why."

Naruto blinked and looked at Gaara oddly. "Well cause we always do things together."

Gaara crossed his arms over his chest. "I think I'm going to stay in today."

"What!?" Naruto asked incrediously. "Why!?"

"Because I want to. That's answer enough."

"No way! You have to come! We were going to go help the girls pick out dresses for their prom. You have to come!" the blonde repeated.

"Prom?" the red-head sighed.

"Yes, and we were going to set you up with a date. Sakura has this really nice friend and - "

I couldn't control myself, and ended up throwing my shoe at Naruto. It hit dead on. I yanked on my newly found tobaggon, and stood from the bed.

"Sorry Naruto. It slipped." I said unconvincingly as I stood beside Gaara. "We'll meet you guys in a second, I need to get dressed."

As I closed to the door on him, I began to plot his downfall. Naruto would have to suffer. Maybe I could post more pictures on the website. Afterall, I did get a lot of hits on their page. I smiled evilly as I turned and looked at Gaara.

He smirked. "I know exactly what your thinking. And I thought maybe we could show Sakura the website this time."

I blinked. "Good idea."

Oh the wonders of Yaoi fans. I wonder what Sakura will think of the pictures and comments.

Don't you just want to kill Naruto? Haha. So the next chapter is the prom shopping, and who knows, maybe Matsuri will end up going. And maybe everyone finds out the secret? Suspense! And yes, Sakura is sooo going to see the yaoi page. I wonder what her reaction is going to be.