Late that night around 10:15 the Douglas brothers are out taking a walk. When Rocky first moved out, along with calling home every week he promised to come by and take a walk with his brothers to catch up on anything that's been going on with the three of them. Its been a while since all 3 of them were able to do it. Colt was usually the one tardy but they always end up doing it the next week its just that Rocky and Tum tum have had more time together than he and Colt. But tonight, since Tum tum has a date its just him and Colt.

"So... what's up?" Asks Rocky shoving his hands into his jeans pockets. He hates getting the ball rolling, he's better in the conversation.

"Lots of stuff." Says Colt absently. "Gradutation was surprising, Dad was the one that got teary eyed." He laughed at the memory.

Rocky laughed shaking his head. "See, you just gave yourself away, Dad never cries."

Smile on his face, Colt retorts. "Oh no Rocky, when the black sheep of the family graduates from high school it moves you."

Not finding that funny, Rocky nudges his brother with his elbow. "Come on, your not the black sheep. Dad loves you, he's just hard on you because he thinks you don't have a direction."

"But that's just it Rocky, I don't have a direction." He scratches his cheek. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about things during the night before bed and I realized that I'm not going anywhere- even Tum knows what he wants to do in life."

"Yeah but Tum wants to be a race car driver, he's not living realistically."

"Tch. At least he knows what he wants to do." Colt then adds. "Real or not, and besides someone gives those guys their jobs. He just needs to be trained."

Rocky looked at his brother a long time then sighs. "What do you wanna do?"

Colt shrugs. "I honestly don't know."

"Come on, even if its just a pipe dream you've gotta want something."

"Music." Colt says staring up at the sky. "I wanna be a rockstar." He then laughs. "See, bullshit."

"Its not." He looks at the ground. The concrete path is practically invisible beneath their feet. "Its that thing you work on acheeving while you're doing something else. Drama, philosophy, art. Colt there are a lot of things you can do to distract you while you work on being a rockstar."

Colt only laughs. "You know," He looks at his brothers barely visible image. "when I was younger I used to want to be a lawyer?"

"Oh yeah, what stopped you?"

Colt shrugs. "I just lost interest that's all."

"Maybe you should revisit that idea. You could be a great lawyer; you've got great killer instict." Rocky pats his brother on the shoulder. "I think you'd make it far in that field."

Colt scoffs. "I don't think so. I don't have the same sense of law that everyone else does. I'd want more than life in prison for people who don't deserve it and I'd suverely punish anyone that thought they were getting away with something by pleading innocent."

Snickering Rocky shakes his head. "Maybe so, but I still think everyone needs some kind of person like you on their side. I honestly don't know what to think about the law. I guess that's why I chose the easy path of being a private investigator. I can work the cases and have nothing to do with the punishments..." He trails off his voice softening. "Especially after what happened to me. I just couldn't think about putting someone away knowing what its like being locked up myself. He or she would be tortured by other prison mates... its too much to think about."

Colt looks at his brother with a faint smile. "I don't mean to say it but, I'm glad you shared that with me."

"What?"

"You know, your feelings about that." He looks up at the sky. "You never share your feelings with anyone, opinion maybe but never feelings and its nice."

Rocky only blinked. Was he really that cold to everyone? He always thought he was warm and approachable but to hear this it makes him feel not so sure. Thinking about it his brothers have always been open about their opinions as well as feelings. Colt never hesitated to show his brothers that he loved them- when the time was needed and Tum was completely comfortable with his feelings. He often told the two of them he loved them receiving a 'ditto' or 'I feel the same' following it.

"There was a party at the Sunbelt." Colt's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What?"

"After graduation, there was a party. Tum came with Paige saying it was just a coincidence that I happened to be there but we had fun. I wish you could have been there, I'm sure all the guys would have hounded you with questions about living in a dorm."

Scoffing, Rocky says. "Why is it so interesting to live in a tiny room at a college."

"Because its co-ed. I mean, you chose to have a male roommate and I'm choosing to have you so we can live it up together. Get closer, ya know."

"I know. But believe it or not it doesn't work that way. They just assign someone into your room you don't get a choice, so your roommate could be male or female."

"...Seriously?"

"Uh-huh."

"That sucks. I guess it is better I'm kicking Robbie out, I could end up rooming with some freak."

"Imagine how the poor freak would feel." He teased his brother shoving him off the sidewalk. Rocky kind of wished his brother didn't use the word 'freak' around him but Colt wouldn't understand. Besides, you can't change the way you've been speaking all your life in one day.

Shoving him back he retorts. "Dick."

"Whatever." Rocky walks along laughing silently. Its gonna be new having his brother being his roommate as opposed to Robbie, but because of this it will also make it easier on him to stick with his plans not to see him in that way. They'll always be friends.

"Hey Rocky?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure you're feeling better about everything? I mean, I know you're still seeing Dr. Maxim, but you said that was just because you wanted someone to listen without making you feel like a creep."

Rocky had to think about that. On the one hand, yes, he feels great inside and out but deep down... deep down he feels nervous at every corner and curious as to whom all saw him on those tapes when he was younger. What if some perve approached him someday because they recognize him? He didn't know what he'd do. He honestly didn't know. Maybe he'd use his gift and hurt the person, maybe he'd shut down in front of them and have them take advantage of him or worse hurt him mentally by making fun of a young boy who couldn't defend his self. There were too many problems for him to ever really be fine. But as for living in the now, he feels great. Minus a few emotional problems with his happiness due to lack of love-life because he's made the wrong choice of having it be with a male.

"Yes. I feel fine." He replies easily.

"Really, really?"

"Yes, really."

Nodding, his brother says. "Good. I don't like seeing my brothers upset. It makes me wanna hurt the person who did it and since she's already dead it just makes me angrier."

Rocky found that as an odd thing to say, but he agreed on one thing. "Yeah. I don't like seeing you or Tum hurt either."

"Thanks." He grins. "Happiness is all that matters now, because everything is over."

"Maybe not everything."

"What'dya mean?"

"Its this girl, Corin... Robbie's cousin. She wants to talk to me about something she found and wants to give me. I don't know all the details." Rocky sounds distant. "I could have called her ages ago but Sin kept deleting my messages. I got a letter from her today."

"You shouldn't see her, what if she's as sick as her mother?"

"That's what I thought, but she sounds nice and besides Robbie loves her. She's lived with his family since the two of them were little kids because Maria was mentally ill." He never could get Marissa out before he said Maria. "I wanna know what she has, I want to end all of this before I spin out of control because people keep bringing a new this or that to me. Do you know what I mean?"

Nodding, Colt says. "Yeah. Its like... you've broken your leg and you think that's it but the doctor keeps coming in telling you there's more rather than just getting it all out of the way."

Cocking a brow, Rocky says. "Its not like that all."

Colt shrugs. He tried. "But I do get what you're saying."

"Good. We better get home before Mom worries." He checks the dayglow on his watch. "11:07." He tells his brother. "We've got enough time to get back."

"Alright."

The two turn on their heels and head home.

"Rocky. How was it really at that school, you know with motherly ears gone?"

Rocky laughs. "Seriously, it was all boys but it was fun. I love Japan and it'd be really awesome to live there someday."

Colt shakes his head. "Naah, I'm better suited for places where I speak the language better. I might move to New York someday though."

Rocky nods. He could see that. "It was weird though, being there..." His voice sounded like it were being taken into a dream. "I was completely surrounded by comfort and happiness because I was with people like myself. I didn't feel the need to shy away or hide myself just so people didn't freak out. I was encouraged to be me. Which is why at some point I felt a little scared... I started to see why Maria did what she did... like anyone different she wanted not to be alone. She wanted to be surrounded by people that were just like her so she could finally relax... finally smile."

"Rocky, what are you saying?" Colt asks with a hint of what sounded like disgust or fear in his tone.

"I'm not saying anything because just as soon as I realized what I'd been thinking I felt sick to my stomach and threw up my lunch." He held his stomach with the memory.

Sensing a bit of what was going on through his brothers head Colt puts an arm around Rocky's shoulders. "Hey," he says in a nice voice. "Your never gonna become Marissa, you may wanna feel accepted but you'd never do anything like she did. I know that."

"Yeah, but do I know that." Rocky asks. "I can't trust myself sometimes, its like if Sin was able to use my gift to manifest himself then who knows what else may come of it. I need to attend that school a lot more to understand myself better so that I don't make the same mistakes she did because of confusion."

"Well why not skip a year of college, go to Japan and attend school there a full year." Suggest his first brother. "It couldn't hurt."

Rocky shakes his head. "No. I think its better I just keep up with my normal routines, too much stimulation might make things worse."

Colt laughed at that. "Which is why you rarely have sex. Rocky, you need to feel the fear and go for it man. Just go for it."

"'Go for it', huh?" He thinks about that. "You know what Colt. Maybe I will. What harm could it do?"

"Exactly!"

"And, I have a right to be happy too- at least for a little while."

"Maybe even forever, who cares- its your life. You have to keep remembering that."

"Right."

"Alright, now that that's settled let's get home before Mom kills us."

"Right."

The two laugh and woot while taking off on a sprint to their home. Colt can't wait to leave and Rocky can't wait to get back to the dorm and tell Robbie the news. Maybe he can't be happy forever like Colt says but he could at least have happiness for a week. Until Arc comes, until Colt arrives at the college. A week of freedom to be himself. He wasn't sure he was ready to handle something like that. Feel the fear and go for it. Harder goals have never been spoken.

...

Rocky had been running over the conversation in his head the entire trip back to campus. He was going to tell Robbie the conditions and hopefully the Canadian will want to go along with it. Rocky had nothing more to offer other than himself completely and he just didn't think he was ready for the entirety of that. His brothers, his parents and friends, it effects everyone around him. Why does his happiness have to ruin the lives of so many people? He never asked to see a friend and more in the one person whom he should flee from considering the males background with the person who had harmed him. But he can't get past the fact that if it weren't for Robbie he never would have been found- well, maybe not never but not as soon as he had been. Robbie made him feel like he wasn't special, like he wasn't someone to look after though he did want to do it, he didn't do it to such a degree he felt that he was right back in that cell. This has to work. A week of complete happiness. His happiness.

Opening the door to his dorm room, Rocky froze dead in his tracks. There on the bed to the right is Robbie, on top of some moaning stranger- a blonde of all things! Rocky is frozen, completely stuck in place as he watches this mound of flesh moving together on a bed. They haven't even been broken up for a day and this guy has already moved on. No. He can't be hurt by this, he isn't. Its laughable really. What did he expect that the guy was so into him he'd wait around forever, that was unlikely. Not to mention there was the fact that even if they were together it will be a time limit. Shaking his head to regain his senses he notices something as Robbie sits up.

Red hair? Looking at the door number he notices for the first time that he's got the wrong room- wrong floor actually. Realizing this, his mouth opens and before he can stop it a laugh escapes his mouth. "I'm sorry." He holds up a hand leaving before the couple can figure out that someone else was in the room. Rocky made it to the stairwell just as the door reopened causing him to laugh harder. He had been wrong the whole time. Not only that but he just saw two people having sex which for some reason no matter how old you get is still funny. He didn't think he'd ever grow out of laughing at the idea of two people wanting to touch each other that way. It was always a different matter when you're the one doing it he supposed. He didn't feel awkward when he'd slept with Emily or Paula years ago and he didn't feel weird sleeping with Robbie only two or so months ago. But let him have seen those doing and he would have laughed. Especially catching two guys. ...Two guys. There's something wrong with that. There will always be something wrong with that, it won't change. People just can't accept it, they never will and yet he's gonna throw caution to the wind and do what he pleases. What kind of selfish way is that to live by. But he has to do it, just seeing how jealous he got from thinking Robbie was with someone else proved that what he felt for the male wasn't just because his gift wants to reach out to Robbie's.

Opening the door to his room, Rocky tosses his car keys onto the desk in the corner of the room. Kicking off his sneakers, he quickly undresses then falls into bed. He's more tired than he realized. Closing his eyes he pops them open again looking over at Robbie's bed. The brunet is sleeping soundly across from him, face content, not a care in the world. Rocky smiled fondly at the male. Ruining his life is one thing, but two lives seems pointless. Rocky doesn't need to worsen Robbie's pain by being his borrowed-time-boyfriend.

I'm sorry Robbie. He throws the words to the boy's mind.

The Canadian stirred as though he'd heard Rocky's words in his dreams. Rocky panicked a second but when the boy's eyes open he just stares at him in the darkness.

"How was your visit?" He asked the ninja.

"Great. We had stew."

"Lucky. I haven't had mothers cooking in years."

Snickering, Rocky says quietly. "It does suck doesn't it."

"Yeah." Rolling over onto his side from his stomach; opening the blanket Robbie pats the bed. "I know we're not together but come snuggle. It'll help you sleep."

Rocky shakes his head in dismay, hoping the secret smile on his face isn't seen. "Alright." Getting out of bed, he climbs into bed with the male, wrapping his arms around his waist, his head tucked under the boys chin. This is nice. Usually he does the holding. Closing his eyes, he smiles softly at the gentle caressing Robbie is giving his back with his fingers.

"I'm sorry too." The other male says quietly.

"About what?" Rocky feels weight on his eyelids. Sleep is kicking in quickly.

"Wanting to be with you. Hoping you'd give 'bi' a chance." He places a kiss on Rocky's forehead. "It was rude of me."

"It wasn't... I actually," His words stretch in a yawn. "really wanted to be with you too."

Blinking Robbie asks. "You did?"

Rocky nods, tilting his head up he kisses Robbie on the lips. The brunet is immobile in the kiss, at first but seeing that Rocky has pressed into it, he parts his lips joining in. The kisses are sleepy, heavy, filled with secrets and want. The softness of the touch of their tongues is like melted ice cream between the warmth of their mouths. Robbie wanted more than anything to lay himself over the ninja when his groin twitched to life, but he would take no more than Rocky gave him. He wants to be with him but as he said in the beginning whatever Rocky wants, Rocky gets. And if the male wants only to kiss, Robbie will just sit and enjoy it. But God why does the ninja have to have such an irresistable moan. Before Robbie could scold himself, his hand slid idly up Rocky's night shirt locating a pert nipple to tweak between his forefinger and thumb, rolling it about between them. Reveling in Rocky's sighs, Robbie pinches the nub between his index and middle finger rubbing the pad of his thumb over the flat of the other boys nipple.

Rocky's tongue curled around Robbie's trying to forcably keep it in his mouth to suck on like a gummy candy.

"Robbie," Rocky says against the other males lips.

"Mmm?" He couldn't exactly speak while his tongue is being massaged in ways he couldn't speak of.

Ceasing their kiss, Rocky grabs a hold of Robbie's menacing hand. "A week."

"Of week?" He steadies his breathing.

"To be together. Arc will be here Colt will be here and in the meantime til then we're free to just be together... if you don't mind a timelimit." There was hope in his words and Robbie could tell that if he looked into those dual colored eyes there would be hope in them as well.

"A week sounds like a month to me. I'd take you for even a day."

Smiling, he says. "You would?"

"Mmhmm." He nods leaning over to kiss the ninja again. "Here I thought I was getting away with murder by letting you kiss me." He kisses him yet again. "And can we do anything during this week?"

"Anything."

"Starting now?"

"Maybe tomorrow, right now I'm fine with just kissing."

"Deal. But," Climbing on top of the male. "we can at least pick it up a notch." He moves his hips comfortably around Rocky's.

Snickering at how easily amped up the male got, he nods. "Alright, besides I'd feel weird if you didn't. Anyone I've ever dated has always invited themselves to touch me or kiss me whenever they want. I always thought a person should be invited at least for a month or so, but its happened so much I've just kind of accepted it as part of human nature."

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" Asks Robbie. "I didn't know you were Jewish." Lips on the blond's neck, he moves his hips up and down, glad that the material on boxers is so thin.

"I'm not. I'm just telling you that you don't need to feel like you need my permission to touch me," His words pause when Robbie kisses him on the lips. "you're my boyfriend and its your option and mine. Don't be skittish of it because you know what happened to me." He said further to clear everything up.

Looking at him, hands in his blond hair Robbie says sweetly. "I won't treat you like a victim, even if you should act like one."

"Thank you." He pulls him into a hug.

Laughing into the pillow he says in a muffled voice. "You're making it hard to... stay hard. You're just to damned cute."

"Good!" He laughs.