Sooo, this is what happens when you should be studying for an accounting test that you really, really, need to pass. Exhibit A, ladies and gents of procrastination!

Anyways, Psych Consult was supposed to originally be a One-Shot, but I loved doing it so much I thought I'd do a couple small one-shots from the past that weren't exactly explained in the original story. If these gain a lot of interest I might even make Psych Consult into a full story...we shall see. I'm also willing to collab. With someone, if they wanna. Yeah, I'm awesome like that. Message me, peeps!

Without further ado...2½ years ago...James and Alice's break up! If you want to see any PAST scenes message me and I'll see what I can do. Anything to get out of studying for Accounting is a-okay with me!

Preliminary Exam #1

2½ years earlier

BPOV

I was walking towards the door of my flat after a long day at the hospital. Since it's only my first year at SGH I was still an intern and learning how things were run and the names of all the staff and patients I was working with. Basically my brain felt like it was set to over-drive 24/7.

So many names! There are like 5 Amber's on staff, how the hell do they expect me to remember who is who?!

Suddenly from behind the door of my flat I heard a crashing, breaking sound. I ran to the door and swung it open; altering me that either Alice or Emmett was home since the door was unlocked. As I opened the door I saw James Hunter, Alice's douche bag of a boyfriend, yelling and screaming at a teary-eyed Alice who was trying not to step on the broken glass of the picture frame crushed on the floor as she backed away from him.

Oh good, a picture of Alice, Emmett and I...not like I loved that picture or anything. Fucking James, that jackass.

I should have known that the crashing would have meant yet another lover's spat between Alice and James...these types of arguments and fights had become more and more frequent as of late.

"Alice!" James yelled, causing me to flinch at his tone. I saw Alice do the same, but she stood her ground with her fists clenched. "Don't you understand that when I tell you these things it's because I love you!?"

Alice let out a humourless laugh and shook her head in disgust. "Really, James, really? Calling me a whore and a slut are now terms of endearment? You seriously need a brain scan, there is no way that giant melon shaped head of yours is housing a functioning brain! James, I'm done, we're done! Now get the fuck out of my flat before I call Emmett and he kicks your ass once and for all!"

Neither Alice nor James must have noticed me opening the door earlier because they both nearly jumped out of their skins when they heard me clapping at Alice's little rant.

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Ali. You know James, if you do want to find out if there is in fact living, functioning brain tissue in that head of yours—I can probably fix you up with a scan or two."

I made my way over to Alice while James was staring me down, like some cracked out Mexican-stand off or something. I hugged Alice into my side while equally matching James' stare.

"James," I said, breaking our stare down. "I suggest you listen to your now ex-girlfriend and get the hell out of our flat, and never come back. It was...interesting, while it lasted. But, this is the end of the road, bucko. Good luck."

Of course, the only truth I was spewing was the fact that him and Alice were officially done—thank the lord—and I was seriously planning a 'praise whatever god you want, Alice and James have finally broken up' party at our flat tonight to celebrate the festivities.

James cast his super creepy ice blue eyes on me and I tightened my grip on Alice's shoulders.

"I will see you both soon enough. Until later, Isabella...Mary Alice."

And with that the creep show left the flat. I instantly felt lighter, but I knew it wouldn't last long...men like James Hunter were cockroaches; no matter what you did he just wouldn't die or give up.

"This calls for gratuitous amounts of alcohol," Alice muttered while walking into the kitchen.

I nodded my head, even though she obviously couldn't see me, and followed her still trembling form towards the liquor.

***

"I mean what the fuck! Yah know? What a creep show!" I sputtered to Alice over our kitchen island with a bottle of disgusting Grey Goose in my hand. Seriously, that shit is disgusting. It's supposed to be like rich people vodka, but it tastes horrible—perhaps my underdeveloped middle class taste buds are not adequate enough for such crap-tacular vodka.

And it's making me ramble...fuck, Alice is saying something.

"You don't understand, Bells!" I faintly heard her mumble into the counter top her face was leaning on. "I thought I loved that man! Instead he's freaking crazy! Do you even understand how...how...how shitty and worthless that makes me feel?!" She hiccupped and took another large gulp of her beloved Captain Morgan's.

Before I could respond I heard the door swing open, causing both Alice and I to jump out of our seats.

"Oh, good lord!" I heard Emmett's voice boom. "The Spice Girls again? What happened this time!?"

Alice and I both started laughing uncontrollably in our alcohol-haze. It's a well known fact that whenever one of us is feeling either depressed or lonely we play the Spice Girls on a continuous loop. It's our guilty pleasure, and Emmett hates it.

"I swear to god if I hear 'Stop' one more time I am going to break all your Spice Girl CD's! Living through high school with this garbage was bad enough."

Emmett walked into the kitchen with an eyebrow raised at the various bottles of liquor spread amongst the counter top.

"You're just jealous because you could never be in the Spice Girls since you're a dude," Alice mumbled into the table.

"Uh-huh, that's totally it," Emmett agreed rolling his eyes, before sitting on the bar stool beside Alice. "So, who wants to tell me what's going on?"

I looked over at Alice's hunched form waiting for her to break the news to Emmett, who I knew would probably start singing Spice Girls at the top of his lungs—or show tunes; one of the two.

"I...I broke up with James."

Emmett sat there staring at Alice for a couple seconds then suddenly jumped off of his seat and lifted Alice up, twirling her around in his arms.

"THIS IS AWESOME!" He cheered, kissing Alice on the forehead and placing her back on the ground. She wobbled a bit and then made her way back to her stool. "I am sorry that you're sad, Alice. But, you're free from Captain Asshat of the S.S. Douche Bag! This is amazing! Early Christmas!"

I snorted and took another drink of Grey Goose, grimacing as it went down. "Em, its August."

"Exactly!" Emmett said, rolling eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Christmas has come early this year, ladies! I'm taking you both out to dinner tomorrow—and so help me god Alice, if you wallow in self pity I am going to kick your little pixie ass!"

I started laughing uncontrollably in my drunken haze and reached to give Emmett a high-five, which didn't really work and I ended up doing a face plant on the floor. This in turn caused Emmett and Alice to break into hysterical laughter at my expense.

"Assholes," I grumbled lifting myself off the ground and walking into the kitchen for some food.

***

After making myself a delicious peanut butter and jam sandwich, Emmett joined us in our drinking festivities.

"Alice, I'm gonna find you a good guy from my boys at work, okay?" Emmett announced before drinking his scotch.

"Emmettttt," Alice whined. "I don't wanna date anyone right now! Let me be single, god dammit!"

I could understand why Alice wouldn't want to be in another relationship, god knows she just wasted how many months, minutes and seconds being with James...she's in need of a break.

"I agree!" I interjected, clearly having troubles controlling the volume of my voice. "Alice needs to live the single life! Welcome to the good life, Alice!"

Alice pumped her fist in the air and gave me a high five. Emmett looked at us exactly like that one time I told him that Superman was a thousand times better than Batman: confused, disoriented and appalled. I started laughing at the memory of that stupid conversation.

"What the hell are you laughing about, Bella?" Emmett asked before taking another swig of his beer.

"You...me...batman...superman....face...hilarious!" I sputtered out in between gasping breaths.

Damn you Grey Goose for making me laugh at shit that isn't even that funny! Huh, no wonder all those rich people are always smiling, it's because they are laughing at pointless, stupid shit in their heads!

That thought caused a whole new round of laughter...needless to say; Emmett and Alice were looking quite concerned for my well being and mental state.

"Okayyy!" Emmett drawled, rolling his eyes. "Time for little Bella to go to bed, she's officially done."

I didn't even complain because of the tears from laughter that was still pouring down my face. I let Emmett carry me to my room and that was the last thing I remember before dreams of Superman and Batman drinking Grey Goose at a swanky party in the Hamptons took over my brain.

Holy drunk shenanigans, batman!

Lmao, like I said...small. But I thought drunk Bella was pretty funny. That's how James and Alice broke up...and why, kind of. I mean he's just a general douche so why they broke up is pretty vast reason wise. Next should be Edward, I'm undecided about what to bring up from his past...hmmm...anyways, comment kiddies and I shall update as soon as I can. Message me for ideas if you want to, and if you wanna collab with me.

Stay sweet.

-JDH