Brennan was really beginning to hate hospitals. As she found herself once again confined to a chair in the waiting room she let her mind fully assess the situation. Nothing was making sense anymore. Booth's strange behavior was worrying her more day in and day out.
If the wound had been caused by a bullet then how would Booth have caught their suspect? Why would he have allowed himself to be left alone if he needed help? For that matter, why hadn't he called out for help? The amount of blood pooling out from his arm had been substantial. As he had been loaded into the ambulance she'd seen the blood on his hand from him trying to stop the bleeding. He had to have known the trouble he was in.
Debbie showed up sometime later. The two women didn't talk even though she sat down right next to Brennan. Brennan tried hard to conceal her emotions. "Congratulations," she said in a low voice.
Debbie looked befuddled. "For what?"
"You and Booth." Brennan was trying to be decent. Why was Debbie making it difficult for her? "Your engagement."
Slowly Debbie shook her head. "We're not engaged, Dr. Brennan."
The unexpected punch of pain knocked Brennan breathless. Booth lied? Why would he lie?
"He told you we were?" There was something in Debbie's eyes. Regret. And rage.
"Yes." Why?
She never got a chance to respond with anything else. A doctor came with news on Booth. He pulled Debbie aside privately, igniting another spark of jealousy in Brennan. She was the one the doctors always spoke with.
After a few minutes Debbie returned to Brennan. "They're keeping him over night for observation. We can see him but not for very long."
Brennan stood. She and Debbie made their way to his hospital room. "What did the doctor say? What happened to him?"
Debbie pressed her lips together. "Panic attack."
"No," Brennan was quick to disagree. "Booth doesn't get panic attacks. And that doesn't explain the blood."
"He fell."
"That much blood loss could not be achieved by a fall." She saw the two had journeyed down the to the Intensive Care Unit. "A fall and a panic attack would not put him in intensive care."
Debbie faced her just outside his room. "You don't know everything, Dr. Brennan." She spun on her heel and went inside.
Booth was hiding something. And Debbie was covering for him.
She remained in the doorway and observed the two interact. Booth was asleep, or unconscious. Debbie picked up his hand and kissed it. Before leaving she leaned close to murmur something into his ear. Her lips met his one final time. Then she left, leaving while giving Brennan a devastated smile.
Warily Brennan entered his room herself. Her steps were reluctant while she made her way around his bed. Booth was as pale as death itself. The machines hooked up to him were seeming to be useless. Even with them his breathing had no regular pattern. Discreetly she peeked underneath his hospital gown at his arm. The area was completely bandaged.
Next to him she fell down into a chair. Through out the entire night she stayed with him, disregarding the doctor's orders. It was silly but watching him breathe, no matter how difficult, was reassuring. She used the time alone to think. Really think. She thought about everything they'd been through together. She thought about how just as he was getting back on the road to being himself he'd pulled back unexpectedly. He'd gotten cold. He'd lied about being engaged. And now he appeared to be on the verge of death when he'd "had a fall and a panic attack."
She thought back to the night at Debbie's apartment. That had been the night when things had begun to go wrong. In his car she'd held him in her arms for a long time. He'd been much closer to her than he had in months. When disappointingly the embrace ended, he had looked over into her eyes and squeezed her hand.
Brennan missed that man. She wondered where he went.
You can't love me, Bones. Not now. His words echoed in her mind. At the time she'd assumed he'd meant because he'd fallen for Debbie. But now, as things were becoming clearer, she speculated if he'd had a whole different meaning.
In the morning she left him to shower, change clothes, and eat. Before she could go back to the hospital she was called into the lab for a meeting. A long meeting. By the time it ended late afternoon had arrived. Traffic laws meant nothing to her as she sped back to the hospital.
In his room she walked in to find Booth awake, sitting up across his bed, with Debbie. She was holding his hand as the two listened to the doctor talk. The woman appeared to be holding back tears. Booth just looked exhausted. Brennan hung back by the door jam to eavesdrop.
"You have to make a decision soon, Agent Booth. Time is running out."
Brennan's heart slammed around in her chest.
"I will," Booth agreed in a throaty voice.
The doctor had him sign numerous release papers. Brennan ducked as he left the room without a backwards glance. Then she repositioned herself.
"You should just do it," Debbie was insisting. She reached into a bag and pulled out clothes for him to wear. "I am."
"I know." He seemed pensive. "But there's so much at risk."
"If it goes wrong, eventually it's going to happen anyway."
Booth rose from his bed. He tilted sideways, his hand shooting out onto the bed top to straighten himself. "I'd rather it happen later than sooner."
What happen? Brennan was frustrated. They were even vague with each other!
Debbie handed him a shirt. "Well, I'm calling the FBI and talking to your boss. You need to stop."
He whirled around. "What? No."
"Look what happened to you! Sweetie, the doctors warned you." She took a step over to him and pulled him close. "You could have died."
Trying to keep himself covered and pull on his shirt was proving to be difficult for him. "It was just a panic attack, Deb."
Brennan swallowed. It was true. But Booth had never had a problem before.
"You know that's not what I'm talking about."
He lowered the shirt. His words were so soft Brennan almost didn't hear him. "I can't stop."
Debbie drew him back close to her body. For the first time Brennan noticed how skinny she had become. "I know. But you're going to kill yourself if you don't."
Booth pulled away. He lifted his shirt, staring at it and seeming to decide there was no way of accomplishing what he intended to do. He needed privacy. Brennan was caught like a deer in headlights as he went to shut the door. "Bones. What are you doing here?"
Debbie seemed upset while Booth's stature was relaxed. Obviously the other woman hadn't intended for Brennan to hear their conversation. Booth, on the other hand, didn't seem to care.
"I came to see how you were."
"They're discharging him." Debbie turned her attention back to Booth. "Are you coming back to my place?"
"No. I need to finish up some things at home."
"I'll drive him." Brennan volunteered.
Debbie seemed uncomfortable with the suggestion. "I can-"
"No. Really. I insist." The car would be a perfect place to confront him. Like it or not he was telling her the truth.
Debbie surrendered. Booth was indifferent. He kissed her goodbye, went into the bathroom to change, then emerged just as transportation was arriving with a wheelchair. "I'm all yours, Bones."
***
This time Booth unsuccessfully refused the wheel chair. Brennan tried not to smile as Booth told the poor attendant his "damn legs worked just fine." In the end he lost.
Brennan tried to come off as nonchalant as she drove. Because of that when she spoke the words were all the more shocking. "You're not engaged."
Booth guided his attention away from the window. "Hmm?"
"You're not engaged, Booth. You lied to me."
Something shifted in his eyes. He turned away. She knew he wouldn't be saying anything more. But that didn't stop her from trying.
"You told me, I couldn't love you now. What did you mean by that?"
Nothing. Not even an indication that he'd heard her.
She parked in front of his apartment building after a soundless drive. Booth started to climb out, then reached back and motioned to her to follow him. Brennan shut the car off. Together they climbed the stairs to his apartment.
He let them both inside. After hanging up his coat he led her into his living room. He sat down on his couch; she in a chair across from him. Booth's nerves were wrecked. What he was about to do terrified him more than anything he'd ever had to do in the Army or FBI. But he couldn't hide the truth anymore. Trust her.
He was unable to look at her as he spoke in a wounded voice. "Brenghause… he nearly killed me in more ways than one, Bones. He beat me with heated metal. He starved me; drowned me. He tried to convince me my life was worth nothing. That I was the criminal."
Brennan shook her head in sympathy. It's my fault.
Booth had to breathe in before continuing. "He injected both Debbie and I multiple times with something. Whatever it was, it's formed tumors on us both. They're filled with a toxin that's poisoning our blood. Bones," his voice broke. "I'm sick." The next words were the hardest to say. "I'm dying."
All the air was vacuumed from the room. Brennan gasped, nearly doubling over with shock. "You can't… treatment…?" Was all she was able to choke out.
"They're trying but, the doctors? They've never seen this before. They don't know how to help. The only option we have is surgery to remove it."
The conversation in the hospital room made complete sense now.
"Debbie's going ahead. I haven't decided yet."
"Why not?"
"Because they don't know much about this. The surgery could kill us."
This all was too much for Brennan to grasp. "Yesterday…"
"Weidner fought with me. He knocked me down onto my arm. It tore and released a bunch of the toxin."
The grip on Brennan's emotions was slipping. "I… you… you can't.." Die. Tears fell down her cheeks. Instantly she got up. This was too much. She needed to get away. In a daze she left his apartment with Booth calling after her.
Outside a hard rain had begun to fall. Brennan ran through it straight to the safety of her car. Only after she got in did she allow the gut wrenching sobs to leave her body. Her forehead dropped down onto the edge of the steering wheel.
Only seconds had passed before the passenger door opened. Booth got in besides her. "Bones." Without any of the hesitation that had been typical for him for so many months he reached for her. She latched onto him, crying into his shoulder. "Shh, Bones," he comforted her. "It'll be all right."
"You don't know that," she cried. There was nothing she could do to help him. She'd been worthless to him since the beginning.
"I'll be all right. We'll figure it out, okay? I'm not going anywhere." Lovingly he stroked his fingers through her hair. He held her until she had nothing left to cry out. Finally she lifted her head to look up at him.
The air in the car changed. One of them moved in first. Later, neither one would know who started it or what happened. All they knew was when Brennan's lips touched Booth's, he didn't pull away. He pressed himself closer.