Akatsuki: Speed Racers
Zetsu: This is truly a day to cherish! The Annual Akatsuki Speed Race of Evil! You're a crappy announcer... Yeah, up yours! Anyways, are all the teams ready?
Deidara: So I'm partnered with 'Same? T.T Eh, I suppose it's not the worst thing in the world...
Kisame: ...Never call me 'Same again.... and consider yourself lucky! At least your not partnered with Konan... she's a terrible back-seat driver!
Konan: Kakuzu, did you make sure this is what they call a "car?"
Kakuzu: Yes... T.T
Tobi: Hey Itachi! Can I drive?
Itachi: Sure.... and hey why don't you take sacred Uchiha necklace that empowers you with the might of gods...
Tobi: Silly Uchiha... Trix are for kids! ^_^
Itachi: ....This is exactly why you're not driving....
Hidan: Your ass is going down!
Kakuzu: Over Sasori's dead body!
Sasori: HEY! .
Konan: Pain... we're not on the same team... please go easy on me
Pain: I'll try, my angel.... But like I always say, competitiveness is beyond even my control... so watch out... .
Zetsu: Racers, on your mark! Get Set! Get Set! I already said that.... We're going by my mark, not yours. Bitch... Slut... Go!! What part of "on my mark" don't you understand? *ahem* GO!
Kisame: *Driving* Who do we strike down first? =D
Deidara: Hmm?
Tobi: *In front of Dei, mooning him* Art is an explosion... from the ass! ^_^
Deidara: O.O THE BASTARD MUST DIE!!!!!!! . *throws bombs at Tobi*
*bombs blow up in front of Deidara and Kisame, destroying their kart*
Kisame: Brilliant.... T.T *holding only the steering wheel*
Itachi: Nice, Tobi.... You exploited Deidara's obvious weakness and used his anger against him leading to his downfall.... you're smarter than you look–
Tobi: Let's put one of the bombs in the exhaust pipe for speed boosts! ^_^
Itachi: Ahhhh..... spoke too soon....
Hidan: Pain, take out Kakuzu's tires!
Pain: Uh.... *Thinks: I promised Konan! I promised Konan! .* AGH!! TO HELL WITH PROMISES! I'M IN IT TO WIN IT BABY! *summons giant centipede on Kakuzu's car, knocking him and Konan off a cliff* OH YEAH!!!! .
Konan: PAIN!!!!!
Pain: love you, honey.... . *drives off*
Konan: *falling* This wouldn't have happened if you paid attention to the road....
Kakuzu: You know, maybe you should worry less about my driving T.T and more about the fact Pain knock your ass off a cliff... Maybe's he saying something.... like you're a bitch!! .
Hidan: Yes! Kakuzu's out! Now it's just us and Itachi and Tobi!
Tobi: Itachi! We're losing! Use your super uchiha powers to speed up!
Itachi: Quiet! You know nothing of my work! Watch and.... try to learn T.T... the power of my... MANGEKYO SHARINGAN!!!!!
Hidan: Hey! WTF is going on?!
Itachi: In the Tsukuyomi, the Badass Realm.... I control everything! Over the next 72 hours, I will continue to make you do doughnuts in your car....
Pain: SON OF A BITCH!!!!! T.T
Tobi: Yay! You're the greatest Uchiha ever! Besides me of course! ^_^
Itachi: Uh... .
Tobi: Tobi is a secret Uchiha boy from the elder days! ^_^
Itachi: I choose to pretend your just being stupid.... .
Zetsu: And we have our winners!
*Itachi bows gallantly as Tobi dances*
Zetsu: TEAM HAWK!!
Itachi: WTF?!? O.O
Sasuke: Not exactly how I expected to defeat you, but.... whatever, I'm not complaining....
Itachi: They're not even fully Akatsuki members! How can they participate in the Annual Akatsuki Race of Evil?!
Zetsu: How would you know? You're dead before they even joined... Needless to say, this story is WAY off the Naruto continuity....
Tobi: That's why is called "Akatsuki Unleashed!" We're so bad we even break the continuity rules! ^_^ right, Sasori?
Sasori: F*** you.... T.T
*End*