It seems to me that love and hate are the same thing. I was going through old papers when I encountered and old poem that Adrian had given to me not more than three years ago when we were still at the academy and I was so in love with Dimitri. I unfolded the crumpled paper and read it. I wondered why I had kept it.

Love is the absence of hate.

Hate is the same thing as love.

And, If you love, then you'll hate, and if you hate, you will love.

Love & hate are the same thing no matter what.

It hadn't made so much sense back then until now. I put the note aside and went inside the shower. My shift at the clinic would start soon. I stood there in the shower thinking, thinking about the times at the academy. Where my problems were only fixated on if Dimitri still loved me or if Lissa was crazy or not. When had my life become so complicated?

I wrapped a towel around my body and then went to my closet. I scanned the closet nothing was screaming WEAR ME! at me so I chose the first things that were visible. It was a black thermal, dark jeans, and for my shoes, my black UGG boots. I went to the kitchen and looked at the clock on the wall.

"How was your night, Lady Rose?" Lina asked, my new employee. In her hands was my usual plate of French Toast and bacon. My mouth started watering as I saw the delicious food. Recently, my appetite had grown and awful lot; I had gained at least two pounds this months. My sense of smell had gotten more defined. Almost everything grossed me out.

I had started training again with Dimitri; it was fun and hard at the same time. Yaritza was always there; her face was always dazed as she watched badass me and Dimitri train. Her stomach grew bigger everyday. She was now five months, so that meant that two months had passed since that damn party, ball, whatever you want to call it.

I finished my French toast in minutes. "Would like some more, Rose?"

"No, thank you, Lina. I have to go." I walked over the table next to the front door. There was my new Gucci bag and keys. I looked back towards her. "Can you tell my kids that I'll be here as soon as I can?"

"Will do, Rose. Drive safely." She called out as I headed out the door.

I hopped into my car. The smell of that cologne the guy I had given a ride to yesterday hit me in the face and I wanted to puke. I poked my head out the window and took a deep breath. What the hell was wrong with me lately? I hope I was not getting that Swine Flu. Good thing, I was going to the doctor some time next week so I could ask him about it. I didn't want to die. Yet.

My window was rolled down while I was driving so the smell of limes and lemons hit intoxicatingly good in the face. I smelled the lemonade stand before I actually saw it. Three kids had some sort of table set up in their front yard.

I parked my car on the curb next to the stand. I got off the car and followed my nose. "Hey, girls. Can I have a cup of lemonade?"

"Yes." One kid held the cup and one kid poured lots of ice in the cup and the last kid poured some lemonade into the cup. I drank the whole cup in two seconds; it was that good. I looked back to the kids. "Can I have another one?"

"Sure." They poured at least ten times until I was satisfied. I handed them each a fifty dollar bill. They squealed and laughed. "Thank you, Miss."

I smiled hugely. "No, thank you." I sauntered off to the car. Of course, drinking too many fluids makes you want to go pee. Too bad I had to wait until I got to the clinic.

I parked on the spot that said RESERVED. My spot. I hopped off the car and into the clinic. There was quite an amount of people waiting to get their pets checked. I grimaced at the gray mouse that I was supposed to check later on. Eeek! I hated mice more than I hated missed periods.

I walked over to Diane, my new assistant. "Is Dr. Irvine here yet?" He was an awesome co-worker.

"Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear." Matt Irvine said. Matt Irvine was one of the hottest dudes ever. He was tall, almost Dimitri tall. He had beautiful blue eyes. His hair was golden brown. He was one of those gentlemen guys that were so rare.

I laughed. "With those looks, you might as well be the devil."

"Oh, my Rose, and you shall be my Evil Lady."

I put on my indistinct face. "It all about the light." I looked at the waiting people. "Now, lets focus on our job."

I walked into my office while he walked into his. My first client whatever you call them came in. "Hi, darling." I said to the cute chubby baby that reminded me of small Taylor. I looked up to her mom and she beamed at me.

"I'm sure you will be a great mother when you have your own kids." She smiled.

I thought about that. "Well, I really can't say. You should talk to them one time."

"You have kids?"

"I have a two year old boy and a year old girl."

"Why that is good to hear. But you are so song."

"Their dad didn't seem to think so when he knocked me up."

She laughed while I examined her "Ay, Rose. You are wonderful. You should bring them one day; my older son loves to meet new friends."

I nodded. "I shall bring them one day." I smiled at her and at her fluffy cat. "Your cat is perfectly fine. You might want to change the feed your feeding him. That is all."

She looked happy. "Thank you, Rose." She left the room.

I took care of cats, mostly, this day. It was horrible since I hate cats, as I've mentioned.

It was about closing time when I noticed Matt leaning up against the doorframe. He smiled when I saw him. He entered my office and seemed a little nervous. "Rose, are you busy later on tonight?" He asked, hesitantly.

"Um. . .no. Why?" I asked, not really looking at him.

"I was wondering if you would accept a dinner invitation?"

That totally shocked me. I gave a nervous laugh. "Ah. . . Sure, I guess, okay." Why was I so nervous?

He seemed completely shocked. "Alright." He looked at his watch. "Um. . . I'll pick you up around eight."

"Okay."

Thirty minutes later, I found myself dining with Matt Irvine. He was shocked at me when it was time to order. "What?" I asked, when he just stared at me.

"Whoa, you are the like the first girl I ever go out with that actually orders a steak rather than a salad."

"You make it sound like a bad thing. Besides, a girl needs to eat." I said and he laughed.

"It's not a bad thing, it's a unique thing. Just like you, Rose." He said too seriously.

I tried to lighten up the mood. "Yeah, cat haters are definitely unique." He laughed again.

Our food arrived soon after that. I ate it before he would say something else.

On our way home, he asked, "Do you mind if we make a quick stop at our house before, I take you home?"

"No, I don't mind."

"Okay." He pulled into his nice house. I was looking through my text messages so I didn't notice when the car door opened.

Giggles from a kid, came behind me. I turned to find and was shocked to see a miniature version of Matt. "Hey, cutie." I said.

"Hey, gorgeous." The five year old boy said.

I looked over at Matt. "Are my ears deceiving me or did that kid just call me. . ."

He looked behind my seat. "Be nice."

I didn't say anything on our way to our house. Nor, did he. "Can I go in?" Matt asked.

"Um. . . Sure." I said, stepping out of the car. My heels clacked against the cement as I made my way to the door. I nodded to the guardian outside my door as he opened my door. Ervin and Taylor ran to me as soon as I came into view for them. "MOMMY!" Both kids yelled.

"Hey, babies!" I kissed both their cheeks and sighed happily.

Matt's eyebrows went this way and that. "Rose, you have children?"

"Yes." I hugged my kids. "Matt, I want you to meet my babies. This is Ervin and this Taylor."

Ervin like the growing kid he was, took out his right hand. "I'm Ervin Ivashkov."

"Nice to meet you." Matt said kindly.

I looked at his shy son. "And who are you, sweetheart?" I looked at the kid.

"I'm Andy Irvine." Andy said, cheerfully."

"Ervin, why don't you take Andy and Taylor to the play room?"

"Okay, mommy." He grabbed Taylor's arm and then turned to Andy. "Yo, bro? You coming?" Oh my god, the things Paul and Jack taught my son.

I laughed softly as I watched them depart. I looked over at the grinning Matt. "You have such exquisite children, Rose."

I smiled. "I know." My smile faded. "If you don't mind me asking, where is the mother of that child?"

His face filled with pain. I walked to the couch next to me; I motioned for him to sit next to me. He sat very close to me. But not very close, per se. "So tell me."

"Avrika and I became a thing. Her parents didn't like me for her. You see, I was a bad boy back then. I drank and smoked a lot, you know. We went out secretly. At age seventeen, we found that Avrika was pregnant. Her parents kicked her out of the house so she came to live with me. Nine months later, she gave birth. Everything was well." He looked very sad of all a sudden. "Then one night, I started drinking again. She got mad at me. She threatened to leave and I remember saying that I didn't care. She left. Five minutes they called me. She had been in an accident. The accident was just around the corner; I ran there. I saw as they were carrying her out of the car. She was not going to make it. Before she died, she said, 'take care of him,' saying that she died instantly. Luckily, nothing bad happened to Andy. I have lived with him ever since. He is my little boy."

I wiped tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, no. It's okay." He wiped a tear away. "Now, if you don't mind me asking, where is their father?"

I lied to him. "He is out there, somewhere. That's all I know."

"Why, then he must be really stupid to not realize what an awesome woman he has." He looked at me; it reminded of the looks Yaritza gave Dimitri. "Rose, I could be that father that your kids long for but only if you agree to be that mother that my child longs for. What do you say?"

I looked away, shocked. "I have to think about that." I said. No, I was not going to think about that.

"If not now, will you give me a shot someday?" He asked, reaching for my hand.

"Someday, maybe." Lies. I would never give him a chance. There was only one guy out there for me.

"I think it is best for me to go." I nodded. This was an uncomfortable thing for me.

He called out to Andy. I followed them out the door. He turned to me. "Just think about it, Rose." He leaned down and kissed me right smack on the lips.

I pulled away, quickly, and he left.

The week went and flew by.

I picked at my fingers as I sat inside the room, waiting for the damn doctor. I did so many things while I waited for the doctor. I was reading an article about a new birth control pill when she finally walked in.

"Good morning, Rose."

"Back to you, doc. Tell me what I have."

"My assistants tell me you are not feeling well. But don't worry about it. It's not Swine Flu. Its something better."

"Before you tell me, I wanted to ask you about something."

"Go ahead."

I pointed to the article. "This pill, how effective is it?"

"It's number one on the chart of pills. Very effective. But Ros—

"Then can I change from my old pill to this one?"

"Rose, let me speak."

"Jeez, doctor. Alright, the floor is yours."

"I don't think that you will be needing the pill anytime soon, that is."

I looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"All that throwing up and back aches aren't from Swine Flu."

"Huh?" I was not getting what she was saying. "Then what do I have?"

"Rose, you are pregnant."