Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

_________________________________-"Love is not a victory march. It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah." Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley 1994-_______________________________________

Raven stared at the e mail. The little black cursor had been blinking at her for over a half an hour. Raven sighed and deleted the e mail clicking out of the web page. She changed to the American Airlines website to confirm her flight. If she were going to her mother that she was becoming a grandmother in an e mail, there would be no point in her flying all the way out to Santa -Barbara for Christmas break. Angela had been-surprised to hear that she was finally making the trip out there.

Countless vacations had gone by in which Raven had "too much work" to go far from the office, but this was something that had to be done in person. It had been awhile since she'd seen her mom. Besides that it would be beneficial for her to get away from the city even if it was just for four days. The worst of the depression had subsided after four weeks of extensive therapy, she even went back to work three weeks ago.

She removed herself from the computer screen and stood in front of the floor length mirror, in her bedroom. Not even three months along and she had already gained four pounds. Yesterday she had noticed something that had since thoroughly obtained her mind. There was a tiny, barely noticeable bump. It was so small in fact it couldn't really be called a bump, more like a curve that you had to stare at closely and for a long time to even notice. That was enough to make Raven rethink her entire wardrobe, and only packed loose fitting tops and waist length sweaters. Even if she didn't really look pregnant, she most certainly felt pregnant. All the usual symptoms had started, but morning sickness had been particularly unkind. She was beginning to wonder why the called in morning sickness instead of morning, noon, and night sickness.

She wanted nothing more than to stay home and read a book, but alas there were more important things at task. As the curve under her shirt proved things were moving quickly for her, she was almost three months along now. Raven sighed as she began to make her daily trek around her apartment. More so than ever she would mindlessly travel around her limited space and scoff at how inappropriate her house was for a baby. She supposed she could sacrifice her painting room for a nursery.

The alarm clock woke her up for her sixty-thirty flight some time around three in the morning. She had given a good amount of cash to some of those jingling war veterans who heckle people for money around the holidays. Lines were a nightmare, and having long since weened herself off of caffeine Raven was in no mood to put up with the holiday crowd of the airport. The security line took some ungodly amount of time, and her carry on bag had to be emptied and searched for some reason beyond her understanding. Just as luck had it she was chosen for special screening, which after she was done gave her a staggering three minutes to ran halfway across the airport just to make her flight, which in turned had been delayed for an hour and a half due to strong head winds.

Conditions didn't improve much when the plane finally took off. Raven had never experienced such severe turbulence on a flight before. This triggered extreme motion sickness and it just so happened some jerk was monopolizing the restroom, and by the time they got out the fasten seat belt sign had been turned on, and she had been reduced to vomiting in a barf bag. So let's just say Raven was extremely thankful when they finally reached Los Angeles.

She wasn't surprised to see her mother, waiting at the end of the terminal. Angela remained very calm and slightly stoic.

"Hi mom." Raven allowed her bags to drop to the ground. They were trapped in awkward silence, neither really knew what to do. They weren't the affectionate type of family so hugging seemed out of the question. They limboed in a stiff, and awkward hug for a very brief five to ten seconds.

Angela was Raven in about twenty years. The same piles of voluminous raven colored hair, and vibrant Elizabeth Taylor eyes. "How have you been?" Her mother asked.

Raven involuntarily fidgeted. "Uh-good." she quickly recovered. Her mother gave her that look. "Just busy with work and all."

Angela smiled at her approvingly. Raven took a deep breath as she was ushered off to baggage claim. She half listened as her mother explained everything she and the other matrons of the White Glove Society, a club for middle age women with plenty of time on their hands, had been up to lately. She joined a book club and invested in few projects here and there. Every time the thought of telling her mother she was pregnant crossed her mind she broke out into a mild form of hyperventilation and panic.

She remained silent the entire ride home. Raven hadn't been to California in about two shameful years. This was the first time she was seeing her mother's house since her move from Calabasas to Santa Barbara. She felt a sort of anxiety as they pulled up into the driveway, the crunch of the gravel under the heavy tires of her mother's trendy Toyota pirus. Her heart was pounding, she could hear it in her ears.

The house was gorgeous, she had to admit. The grey two story colonial house was surrounded by perfectly manicured green hedges and lawn. The second floor balcony railings were draped in vines, and a perfect ficus greeted her at the front door. She wasn't surprised by the country cottage style interior. The floral couch in the living room, the small white book shelf next to the narrow staircase in front of the door. Angela told Raven to make herself comfortable while she hurried up the stairs to deliver Raven's suitcase into the upstairs. Raven pulled off her scarf and jacket and gently placed it on the coat hook next to the front door.

Raven shivered. Was it possible to be this cold in Los Angeles? She mindlessly wondered into the spacious living room to the right of the door. There was a vase of brightly colored daffodils sitting on the coffee table, next to a stack of knitting magazines. That was odd, since when was Angela into knitting? Raven pushed past the swing doors and wondered into a colonial living room with a giant mahogany dining table. The kitchen was small and there wasn't much to see. Raven found herself in sun room and stared at the front yard. She sighed.

"Raven." she heard her mother calling.

She sighed and tore herself away from the window. Back in the dining room her mother was seated very poised on the loveseat, a silver tray of porcelain tea cups. Before she could be invited she sat herself on the far side of the couch. Angela prepared the tea. Two scoops of tea leaves, three cubes of sugar, and a tea leaf strainer. Raven hesitated when she was handed her cup. She wondered if it had caffeine in it.

"So tell me how's work?" Angela inquired.

She didn't care she was just making conversation. "Good." Raven said vaguely.

"How have you been?" Raven opened her mouth to tell her fine but she was cut off before she could say anything. "I don't know if I like you being in New York all by yourself. It can be dangerous and a lot of weirdos live around the place. It's not safe for woman and- Raven Jolie Roth what happened to your leg?"

Raven placed her cup on the saucer on the table. She used her middle name. "Mother, it's fine. I'm fine. You worry too much. I'm just getting a tattoo removed is all."

"I suppose I do, but why shouldn't I? I'm your mother and it's not like you call me enough to put my mind at ease. I never have any idea what's going on with you. Don't tell me you just flew six hour down here for a visit." she finished her sentence with a light hearted laugh.

Raven sighed and turned to face her mother. She had a serious expression. "Actually mother there is a reason I came down here."

Angela peeked at her from her cup. "Oh?" she inquired.

Her heart sped up in her chest. Raven tried to control her breathing as not to give away anything was wrong. She was pretty sure it had only been a few seconds but it felt as if she had been staring at her mother open mouthed and speechless for hours. Angela remained completely patient. Raven closed her mouth, cleared her throat, and tried again. "Mother the reason that I came down here is because I wanted to tell you something." her heart was erratic in her chest. "I-"

As fate would have it the phone rang startling Raven. Angela smiled apologetically and moved back into the front hall. "Hello? she heard Angela say irritably. Raven sighed and sat back. She wanted to get this over with before she lost her nerve. Her hands were shaking slightly. She held her left one in her right and pulled her hands into her lap. She really hoped this phone call would be quick. "Of course not, I put the order in before Thanksgiving, and I'm going to pick it up on the twenty seventh...Oh thank you, but no. My daughter is in town. I will...Yes, I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

Angela came back into the room and sat back down. "Sorry about that. Some business with the White Gloves. Now what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Raven opened her mouth. I'm pregnant. She sighed. "Nothing."

There was a water stain in the guest room ceiling. Raven knew this because she had been staring at it for about two hours. Sleep was next to impossible. The idea of telling her mother she was pregnant filled her with dread. She had planned on telling her that very morning but she couldn't muster up the courage. Raven pulled the white, cotton sheets to her waist and slid her hand under her shirt and rested it on her stomach.

"Things will get better." she said to herself. Hell, maybe she was talking to her unborn baby, it was the only thing listening to her. She rolled onto her side and stared at the digital clock. 3: 14 in the morning. Raven swung her legs over the side of the bed and ran her hand through her hair. She crept into the bathroom and flicked on the light. There were dark circles under her eyes. She had been constantly reminding herself not to stress herself out about too many things. That was almost impossible.

Raven tip toed back into the bedroom and fell back onto the bed. Somehow she managed to fall asleep. She woke up the the blinding sun flooding the windows. Raven sat up startled, forgetting where she was for the moment. She grabbed the clock sitting on the bedside table. 8:37. She sighed putting it back in place and moving back downstairs to find her mother.

She was surprised to see Angela fully dressed sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. Much more to her surprise there was another woman sitting across from her. She had heard laughter before her emergence, which quickly fell into silence upon her entrance. The looked like Martha Stewart's distant half sister. She was wearing a prim beige suit, and her light blond hair was thinned and fluffed.

Angela smiled at Raven. "Good morning. I thought you'd be feeling a bit jet lagged from your flight. Mariska this is my daughter Raven, Raven this Mariska Kelley. She is the coordinator of the Santa Barbara chapter of the International White Glove Society."

Raven moved in to shake her hand. She felt embarrassed to be greeting her so informally much less wearing louge wear. She was grateful she had, had the sense to at least put on a bra before she came downstairs. "How do you do?" Raven asked politely.

"Fine thank you. Angela has told us so much about you. So you work for Wayne Enterprises. What department are you in?"

"Uh I'm in the promotional department." she said. She couldn't think properly this soon after waking up.

"How lovely." she said. Mariska stood up abruptly. "Well, I must be on my way Tonya is bringing the little ones over tomorrow and I want everything to be perfect." Angela stood up and opened the back door. "I'll see you after Christmas. It was nice meeting you, Raven." she said.

As soon as the door was closed, Raven felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She could feel the color draining from her face. Angela looked instantly concerned. "Are you alright? You seem pale." She brushed back Raven's hair.

"Uh-" she struggled to find an excuse. "I...had a flu shot a couple days ago. Its probably the inoculation." With that Raven excused herself, and moved out of the kitchen and back upstairs. After a brief trip to the bathroom she decided to get dressed. She felt inexplicably exhausted but if she kept taking random naps at various and inconsistent hours of the day she would give herself away.

The little free time Raven had after that she spent thinking of ways she could break the news to her mother. They weren't exactly close, but she still needed and appropriate way to tell her. Her thoughts were broken by a sudden hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?" Angela asked. "You seem-"

"I'm fine." Raven ensured her quickly.

Angela was silent for a moment, but then nodded quickly accepting her answer. "I need to drop some toys off for the children at the hospital at the mall. I was wondering if you'd like to come along. You can hide out at the book store, you don't have to spend all your time with the kids."

Raven stared at her blankly for a moment. "Sure." she said. She could use another book.

The mall was a brief ten minutes from Angela's house. Raven hated the thought of having to fight her way through the mall on Christmas eve. After twenty minutes of searching for parking space, Raven helped her mother steer a large bag of perfectly wrapped gift through the service elevator in the parking garage. Inside the actual mall was worse than she could have imagined. The place was packed. Husbands filing in and out of the jewelery store, hoards of teenagers loitering in the halls on all floors, everyone rushing about trying to find last minute gifts. Raven felt totally displaced. She followed her mother to the center of the mall where a Santa chair had been set up.

Children surrounded the scene of plastic trees, fluffy snow, and phony elves. Angela excused herself to talk to the coordinator which was fine with Raven. She stood by watching the children crowd around the jolly, red nosed Santa. Raven was astonished at his patience with the crowd of screaming kids. She imagined he had a flask of scotch hidden underneath that red trimmed coat. She felt a head ache forming.

A little girl, a beautiful blond haired blued toddler tugged at the bottom of her sweater. Raven kneeled down to level. The little girl handed her a paper snowflake. "What's this?" she asked confused.

The girl must have been about three. "Mewy Chriwstmas." she said before running off to join the rest of the kids.

Raven stood back up and stared at the misshapen, jagged piece of construction paper. She felt inexplicable tears well up in her eyes and a bizarre mixture of sadness and happiness flooded her chest. She tried to blink back the emotion. She was already just getting by on impromptu moments of sickness and extreme fatigue, the last thing she needed was sudden mood swings.

Angela appeared out of nowhere once again. She had an incredible talent of showing up at the worst possible moment. "Darling are you quite sure you're alright?" she asked concerned pressing her palm against Raven's cheek.

Raven blinked a few times before answering. "I'm fine. Uh-I'll be in the book store." she said turning in the direction of Border's. Personally she preferred Barnes and Nobles but she wasn't about to complain about a bookstore. She was pleasantly surprised to see the book store was less crowded than most of the other stores. Her mind was so out of place she couldn't keep her mind on finding a book. After about five minutes of mindlessly wandering up and down the isles she fell into a provided chair to restore energy for awhile.

When she looked up. Serendipitously she found herself across from the maternity section. Her eyes fell on the Pregnancy Body Book. She flipped through the pages, and found the source of her mysterious back aches. There was a lot of information that she had been previously unaware of. She took that and a copy of Pregnancy and You and even picked out a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting.

She realized that she couldn't return to her mother without an "excuse" book. Quickly scanning the nearest book shelf she pulled out a copy of Flowers in the Attic despite the fact that she had read it when she was fourteen.

Raven was fairly annoyed with the length of the line. Her eyes kept darting nervously toward the door half expecting her mother to pop out at any moment and expose her secret. "Are you expecting?" the perky check out girl asked her as she rung her items.

"Yeah." she said distracted. It was the first time a stranger had asked her.

"Congratulations." she said. "When are you due?"

It was at that moment that Raven realized that she didn't know when she was due. She would have to find out at her next doctor appointment. "Uh, early summer." she quickly thanked the woman before she could have a chance to continue the conversation.

As she stuffed the remaining books into her pocket book on her way out of the book store she realized the absurdity of it all. Here she was hiding her pregnancy like a drug addict from her own mother. She needed to tell her.

She would, when the time was right.

Christmas day had come and gone, and Raven was yet to reveal anything to her mother. She was feeling hopeless and more panicked than ever. She was leaving the next morning and she was beginning to believe she would muster up enough courage to just spit it out. Raven tossed and turned that night. She had one more day to tell her mother. God why was this so hard? Raven threw the cover off of herself and before she could stop herself she moved down the hallway and found herself standing in front of her mother's closed bedroom door. She sighed defeated. Was her own cowardice worth waking her mother up in the middle of the night like a child?

She swiftly turned around and returned to her room. Accepting the fact that she would not be sleeping much tonight, she flicked on the bedside lamp and began reading one of the pregnancy books. They were very informative. According to the week by week guide this week her baby had grown hair follicles, fingernails, and possibly ovaries. She began to wonder if it were a boy or girl. A girl would be nice, but she didn't mind a boy either. She sighed the reality was overwhelming. She needed to start figure things out, she didn't have a lot of time left.

There was a light knock on the door, startling Raven and sending her book flying to the ground. "I didn't mean to scare you." Angela said from the doorway. "You're not typically so jumpy."

She moved into the room and sat at the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry did I wake you?" Raven asked.

"No, I was going downstairs to get a glass of water and I saw the light in your room on. Raven, is something on your mind? Are you getting sick?"

Raven stared at her for a long moment. This was her chance. "Mother," she started slowly. "I ... I came here with all intentions of telling you something and I've spent all week trying to find the right way to tell you something. So far I've got nothing."

"Is that what's been bothering you?" Raven nodded. Angela sighed. "Growing up I raised Catholic. My parents were extremely, extremely religious I they believed that God's word was the final word. I grew up very disillusioned and was taught not to indulge in the 'sins of the flesh'. I wanted to dance ever since I was nine years old, but I was terrified of what my parents would think. " she sighed again, and began running her fingers through Raven's hair.

"I danced in secret for years. I told my parents I was volunteering at the Children's hospital or teaching Hail Mary to kids at the church, anything I could think of to get away. It worked for awhile, but of course they found out. Right before my seventeenth birthday. They were convinced that I had signed the Devil's book or something equally ridiculous."

"They were pissed?" Raven guessed.

The corners of Angela's mouth twitched. "They wanted to send me to a convent in Maryland. I of course refused to go." she laughed. "I had some ridiculous plan of running away to England and making a living by dancing. It never happened obviously. What did happen was I met your father. He was thirty and charming and wealthy. I was immediately in love with him. He promised to take me to Germany and start a life there and-"

"You guys eloped and lived happily ever after." Raven said. "I've heard the story."

Angela smiled and brushed the end of her hair. Her fingers worked through the knots. "The point is I always promised myself that when I had children I would raise them better than my parents did. I wanted to be a good mother and for us to be close. And look what I did, I handed you off to your father and let you become an estate in our divorce."

Raven shifted uncomfortable. A pang of guilt ran through her. "You're still not over that. Mother, it was over ten years ago."

She frowned and turned her glaze toward the door. "I-I never really forgave myself. It was a completely selfish thing to do. God, I- I was young and everything was happening so fast. I was twenty and had a baby, I was getting a divorce."

"Mother I was ten when-"

"I know sweetheart, but your father and I played tug a war with you many times until then. I convinced myself you were better off with him. He had money, a lot of money and could afford anything and everything you wanted and all the things I wanted for you. A good private school education, a big house in the Hamptons, that dollhouse I never had growing up. It was a mistake I admit. Look at us, we're not close. There's something bothering you and you can't even tell me what it is. Honey, I love you and I want you to know you can tell me anything."

Raven remained silent. She broke her gaze and stared at her lap. Angela put her hand against her cheek. "You don't have to tell me now. Whenever you're ready."

With one last smile Angela rose from the bed and glided across the room shutting the door behind her. Raven watched the door for awhile before reaching for the bedside lamp. The talk with her mother made her feel better. It made her realize she could tell her mother. When the time was right.

Whenever that was.

The next morning Raven was determined to tell her mother. She could almost laugh at how ridiculous she had been. What had she been scared of in the first place? She woke up shortly after eight, immediately dressed in marched downstairs.

"Mother?" she called. Something felt weird. She couldn't quite place the feeling but something was definitely off. She slowed her pace in the living room and right as she entered the dining room she felt an icy, metallic feeling in the pit of her stomach. She pushed the doors opens to a hoard of middle aged and older women handling fish in the kitchen. The momentairal shock from the rush of fish smell disabled her from properly greeting anyone.

"Raven, good morning." Angela saved her. "These are the patrons of the Santa Barbara chapter of the White Gloves. You met Mariska." She toured Raven around the room and personally introduced her to everyone. Angela and another woman named Karen, had to have been the youngest patrons by at least twenty years. Raven tried her best to hold her breath at the risk of inhaling the overpowering odor of fish. "We are baking fish to send to the homeless shelter and for Meals on Wheels."

"Oh you're kidding." Raven muttered under her breath.

"Why don't you help us." Angela said enthusiastically.

Raven hesitated. The last thing she wanted to do was seem rude in front of her mother's philanthropic friends. "Sure." her voice almost betrayed her.

"Wonderful. Why don't you- no you're allergic to onions. Would you mind helping Marcella to bone the fish. We have to make sure most of the bones are taken out so the seniors don't choke. "

Raven slid into a chair pushed against the wall next to a plump woman with graying hair. The woman-Marcella began to explain how to bone a fish. Raven was only half listening. She inhaled very fastidiously, trying her best not to catch a whiff of the fish. Marcella took a long kitchen knife and cut down the center of a long catfish. Blood oozed out of the carcass and dripped onto the table, which had been secured by a thick plastic covering. She then began to demonstrate the deboning process. The sound of breaking bones was almost too much for her to handle.

Raven reluctantly picked up fish and laid it in front of her. Very slowly she cut into it. She began to pick the tiny bones out the sensation of sickness was steadily increasing. Within a half an hour Raven had only completed two fish while Marcella had done at least four or five. As the other ladies worked at their stations chattering away she was hardly noticed. She was glad the woman next to her didn't feel obligated to strike up a conversation, because she was sure she would have hurled all over her mother's usually spotless tile floor. A ding went off signaling the fish that had been in the oven for awhile was finished cooking. One of the other women put on a pair of oven mitts and pulled the batch out of the oven.

Raven's stomach heaved a few times and her heart sped up. "Could you excuse me?" she said to Marcella.

As inconspicuously as possible she slid out of the kitchen and half ran upstairs to the bathroom. She was grateful none of the other ladies were upstairs taking a bathroom break. She almost didn't make it. Her throat burned and her stomach convulsed. Without closing the door all the way she fell onto her knees in front of the toilet and wreched voilently. Raven sat back panting slightly. She lifted up the bottom of her shirt and watch her stomach contract with every small breath. She was losing definity in her stomach, she noted.

The very idea of going back downstairs and cutting up fish with the other woman and acting as though being in their presence, or more rather the presence of the fish, didn't utterly repulse her could have induced more vomiting. She sighed dejectedly, praying the sickness was over. If she kept running in and out of the room, they might start to get suspicious. Luckily for her when she returned the bulk of the boning had been completely (thanks mostly to Marcella), and Raven now had the task of delivering the completely packages to the homeless shelter. She was happy to oblige. Two other women helped Raven load the aluminum pans into the back of her mother's car. Angela gave Raven the directions to the shelter and handed her the keys to her car. After reminding her that she was a grown woman and ensuring she'd be perfectly fine by herself, Raven pulled out of the driveway.

It was a quick trip, but she had been held up for awhile at the shelter. The alone time had been relaxing. Raven knew she had to tell her mother the truth when she got back. A lump lodged in her throat. Instead of driving immediately home she parked the car across the street from a beach. She crossed the street and sat down on a bench on the sidewalk. She watched the tide from afar, as the rising waters crashed against the jagged rocks, white foam sizzling before flattening against the water. The sun was setting. God, where had the day gone? She must have been gutting fish longer than she had thought. Raven removed her black boots and stuck her feet into the cool white sand. Back when she was teenager and spent the summers with her mother, she would sometimes sneak out at ungodly hours of the night craving the peacefulness of the beach. No one else was on the beach. She imagined everyone was at home, using their new Christmas gifts and putting up with distant relatives. For once she didn't mind being alone. Oddly enough she didn't feel alone. She had a sense of warm presence. Her child maybe? This charade couldn't last much longer. Was she going to wait another two years to see her mother, show up with a two year child, and say "Surprise"?

Raven sighed she pulled her shoes back on, and began to make to trek back to her mother's house. It was almost dark outside. She placed the car keys in the key dish on the table next to the door. The house was still. Raven saw the light on in kitchen.

"I'm back." She announced to Angela, who was just finishing up the cleaning. "Is everyone gone?"

"Yes, they had other personal matters to attend to." she said gently. Raven nodded. Angela's face become hardened with desperate concern. "Raven, you've been acting strange this entire trip. If there's something wrong please don't torture me. Are you sick?"

Raven's lip pressed into a line. Poker face engaged she said, "I suppose I am". She turned around about to leave the kitchen. Back to square one.

"Is this sickness called pregnancy." she heard her mother say behind her.

She froze and her stomach lurched. Very slowly she turned around. "What?" she said barely above a whisper.

"Are you pregnant?" her mother asked, her voice void of emotion. Raven silently slid into the chair between the table and the wall and nodded. "How far along?"

She cleared her throat. "Almost three months."

Angela's mask of impassiveness broke. Her eyes were shining in concern. "Is that what you've been trying to tell me? Darling, why couldn't you just come out and tell me?" her tone was panicked and uncharacteristically desperate. Raven felt another uncomfortable pang of guilt.

"I tried. I really tried, but I just- couldn't. I couldn't. I don't know why but..." her voice trailed off. She sighed. "I-I didn't want you to be ashamed of me."

There she said it. She admitted it. The truth had been revealed. The cat was out of the bag. It was all out in the open. She aired the dirty laundry laundry. She had admitted her underlining fear not only to her mother but to herself. There was a long, unbearable moment of silence. Raven's heart was pounding against her ribs. She wanted her mother to say something, anything. Tell her how irresponsible she had been. Tell her how stupid she was for making such a stupid mistake. Tell her how she was ruining her life, and would ruin her child's life.

Angela crossed the kitchen slowly, and silently. Raven was shaking slightly. She kneeled down in front of Raven, their eyes meeting-really meeting each other for the first time in years. Raven watched her nervously, waiting for the yelling to start. Unexpectedly Angela pulled her into a hug. Not the stiff and awkward hug like at the airport, but a genuine motherly hug. Raven remained stiff for a moment, having been caught off guard by the unanticipated act.

"I could never be ashamed of you." Angela told her.

Raven felt a bubble of emotion well up inside her. She reached her arms up and embraced her mother. After a long moment of embracement Angela let go and smiled at her daughter. She sat in the seat across from her.

"I never thought I'd be a grandmother." she scoffed. "I'm much too young for grandchildren." Raven let go of a small laugh. "Is it a boy or girl, do you know?"

"I'm thinking I want to be surprised."

Her family was just full of surprises.

Raven had believed that her stay with her mother would have made her feel better, and it had for awhile. They had spent the rest of the night talking and hopefully making plans. At the airport the next day Angela told her to take care of that baby, and Raven promised she would. Almost as soon as she had arrived the breaking news that her father had been arrested, something about embezzlement, had broken. At the will of Angela she bailed him out. She felt an odd sense of compassion for him. It wasn't dramatic at all she went down to the station, paid the bail, and left. She hadn't actually seen or talked to him and that was perfectly fine with her.

She had felt a lot better until two days later. She had, had a bizarre craving for cupcakes and so had traveled to the supermarket although it was almost midnight. There she had a very unfortunate encounter with Gar. It was brief and awkward and ultimately upsetting. He was there with Terra buying wine and others things, laughing about something. He had spotted Raven before Terra had the chance to. When he saw her he looked absolutely horrified. He immediately turned around and quickly steered Terra in the opposite direction.

This was extremely distressing to Raven, and she had spent the last three days locked in doors by herself. It was January second, and she had to go to work the day after tomorrow. Raven stood in front of the window watching the cars whip by. The sky was gray and freezing. She further wrapped her arms around herself. She wanted to blame the deep feeling of saddness on the moodswings and not her actual feelings. It was just easier to deal with them that way. She prayed this wasn't another flare of depression. She had no one to talk to at the moment. She didn't want to worry her mother by calling her so soon, and Dick was still away and Kory was God knows where.

She felt a presence behind her. She didn't turn around. "What are you doing here?" she voice was emotionless.

"The doorman let me in." he said.

She turned around and glared at him. "I said what not how." she bit.

"Raven." he said sternly. She scoffed and turned back to face the wall. He was stupider than she thought if he thought it was going to be that easy. There was a long moment of silence. He still didn't leave. "You're mother called." he stated. "She told me that you're pregnant."

"What do you care?"

"I'm your father." Tristian said his voice was more gentle than she was use to. Raven ignored him. More silence. "Raven, I didn't come here to beat around the bush. I wanted to talk." she remained silent. "Why won't you just talk to me?"

"Because I hate you." she stated.

"Then why did you post my bail."

Game.
Set.
Match.

She scoffed and laughed a very trenchant laugh. She turned around to face him. "You want to know why? I did it because I felt sorry for you." that was intended to hurt you. "I would have never done it if mother hadn't called me on the phone begging me to have mercy. That's the difference between you and me, I have the ability to feel compassion for other people. You might be able to too if you weren't so apathetic all the time."

Her eye burned in contempt. She hated how collected he was, standing there in his ten-thousand dollar suit thinking he could just pop in and out of her life as he pleased. She hated that he could pretend he hadn't messed her up growing up and that she would just forgive him because he willed it. It was his fault she couldn't express herself to Gar. It was his fault she could ever fully trust herself with men. If he had been more of a father to growing up...

Raven was locked in a tsunami of emotions. Anger and hatred were currently battling each other out. Hatred was winning. She sighed dejectedly and turned around to face the window. "Just go away." she felt too tired to fight with him right now. She just needed sleep...and chocolate cupcakes.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked.

She turned around to face him once more, her expression was incredulous. "Excuse me?" her tone sounded like a warning.

"He left you. Maybe it was for another woman. An ex girlfriend maybe? Maybe he did it to get back at you. He wanted to hurt you the way you hurt him. But it wasn't you're fault things weren't good the way they were. You couldn't just sit around and act like you could go through life loving him while he was loving another woman. The baby- he doesn't want it. Hell, maybe it's just you he doesn't want, or at least that's what you think."

She was stunned. How could he possibly know all of this? She couldn't possibly be that easy to read. He had to have paid someone, he was well connected. "Stop it." she whispered.

"You don't get it. Is she that much better to be with than you? You wonder is she prettier than you, is she smarter, is she more fun to be with than you? The truth is Raven," Tristian went on. "No. She is not better than you. There is no one smarter or prettier or more fun to be with than you. He left you because you're so God damned jaded. He just wanted you to let go. I know this because I've been there. We're two halves of the same coin, Raven. I don't want you to be like me."

Raven snapped. "I am nothing like you! How dare you? You're so fucking jaded you don't even posses the ability to feel anything for anyone! Not even you're own daughter. Your wife left you, you shipped you're father off to a nursing home, and I'm the only one who you can't control and it drives you crazy! That's why you're here isn't it."

"I came to apologize." he said taking a step closer.

Her eyes burned with angry, hot tears. She fought the urge to cry. It had been nine years, and she wasn't about to let it go now. "Guess what! I don't care! I don't care! Fine you wanted to fucking apologize and you did it. I fucking accept it now get the fuck out, and leave me the fuck alone! I want you out of my life! I don't need him and I don't need you." her voice wavered on the last word.

Tristian swiftly crossed the room, and stood in front of her. Raven's breathing had become heavy and she was overwhelmed with emotion. He pulled her against him. She almost immediately broke down in tears. She choked on sobs that she could no longer control. "It's okay." he whispered into her hair. "I'm sorry."

Raven's grief outweighed her anger. She was upset with herself for allowing herself to fall to her father again. She didn't fight the tears this time, she couldn't. She just allowed her father to hold her and whisper and console her. There was something different about her father, something good.

"C'mon." he said after awhile. "I want to take you somewhere."

"Somewhere turned about the deck of her father's yacht The Champion parked at the docks. It was near freezing outside. Raven wondered why on earth he would choose to hang out on a frozen ocean in the middle of January. He leaned over the side of the boat ice fishing (yes, ice fishing in New York), while Raven sat on a louge chair huddled underneath of a thick blanket. The staff made a big fuss over her until Tristian had requested some privacy.

Not a word was spoken between the two for a long moment. "So-" Tristian started. "My daughter is having her own child." he laughed. "I never thought I'd live to see the day. I remember when you were born. You're mother and I had been married for three years. At the time having your first child at thirty-three was very old. So anyways your mother and I had spent the summer traveling through Europe. Our goal was to make it to Paris for your birth, but your mother loved Tuscany so much she wanted to spend another week there. It was late September by the time we were in Hamburg. Your mother wasn't feeling well so went to the Hospital and ended up missing the train to France. I wanted to stay in Hamburg but she insisted that she was fine to get on the next train. She wasn't fine, she was in labor. We got off the train in Munich and you were born there in the Gnade der Madonna hospital on September 25, 1982."

Raven remained silent. Tristian continued. "You were so beautiful. I remember thinking that there was nothing I had ever seen that was more beautiful than you and that even in that run down and God forsaken hospital nothing else mattered. Jolie means pretty in french. Your mother and I loved you, that I promise. You kept us together for another year. I'm sorry you had to get involved in all of our drama."

"I don't remember a time when we were all happy." Raven said honestly.

"I know." Tristian confessed. "You were happy when you were a little girl. I remember when you told me you wanted to be a ballerina. It was Christmas eve 1985, you were three. You were spending Christmas with me that year. We were in the living room and I was reading the paper. You saw a performance of the Nutcracker on t.v and you turned to me and said 'daddy dance'. You always knew what you wanted and always went for it. I immediately went out and bought you ballet slippers and signed you up for classes. I still have your first dance recital on tape."

"Why did you make me stop?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I had to." was his answer. "My little girl-my fifteen year old daughter was making herself throw up to dance. It wasn't worth it."

Raven sighed somewhat defeated. "I don't get it. Why are you telling all of this now?"

Tristian turned around to face his daughter. "Raven, there comes a time in a person's life when they realize that their whole life was meaningless-"

"Are you dying?"

He laughed. "No, I'm not dying. I don't want to end up in my eighties alone with nothing to look forward to except regret. I realize now that I let my bitterness and often times the alcohol control me. I had everything I needed: you and your mother and I threw it all away. Millions-billions of dollars later and I was still so bitter. I don't want to be that person anymore. My sponsor said forgiveness was the first step."

Raven was hesitant. She had always promised herself when she moved out she'd never speak to her father or have anything to do with him again. Something told her that he was being honest for the first time. She believed him. "I just want to move on to a better tomorrow."he said looking out onto the gray and frozen ocean.

Raven stood up and moved over to him. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "So do I. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree after all."

I think I have some major apologizing to do. First of all I took forever to update I know, cross country and NHS kept me busy but cross country season is over and I plan to do no sports until March. The next update will be sooner. Second I admit to cutting corners in the past and not properly proof reading. If it makes you feel better its a fatal flaw of mine that my history teacher pointed out. It's sloppy and unprofessional and I apologize for that.

Most importantly there was absolutely no Dick and Kory in this chapter. That was one hundred percent intentional. Please stay with me on this one. The next chapter is probably the most important chapter in the whole story, one all you Dick/Kory fans will definately want to read. I am excited about it so please wait for that. Phew, alright that's it I think. Let me know if you noticed any improvement in spelling and grammar.