Chapter Five: Exacerbation

"Alright, Fearless Leader, where do we start?"

There was the slightest trace of seriousness in Tifa's voice that put him on edge. Leon's stone-cold mask of indifference wasn't helping much either.

"No one could get him ready for Sephiroth in such short time." Was the weighted reply. There was the itch of being looked over – appraised. "What we can do is break him down a little."

"What?" Cloud got to his feet, hands already protesting this course of action.

"Relax, Strife." Tifa's wink was all but reassuring. "You're scaring him, Leon. You should have said 'break him in'"

"Look, I don't know what you need to prepare me for but –"

It was then that Leon decided to make a move. Within less than a second of his gloved hand making contact with Cloud's neck, Leon found himself thrown harshly against the wall. Before he could blink, his arms were pinned behind his back and the blonde's shoulder pressed firmly against his spine.

"Holy shit." Was Tifa's best reply.

Cloud, for his part, was rather confused as to how or why he had the scarred man pinned to the wall. It didn't stop him from slamming the man back against the plaster when he tried to move. Leon remained motionless after that.

"Let him go, Cloud."

"What were you doing?" Trust was a delicate issue. That man had surprised him and gone for his throat. He had military training. How the hell was Cloud supposed to know what he was going to do once he had a good grip? But he released the man, quickly stepping out of retaliatory range. He may say he was an ally…but then recently he'd faced off against two of those already. Frankly, Leon's odds weren't that good on the trust meter.

Leon moved slowly, one hand rubbing feeling back into where his face had abruptly met the wall. "…Well that's one thing we need to work at…"

"Surprising you to test your reaction to what to expect on the field, I expect." Tifa responded to Cloud, casting Leon a worried glance. "You just seem to have pre-empted his surprise with one of your own."

Cloud shifted awkwardly, his eyes carefully monitoring their movements. From his experience with Problems One, Two and Three and a Half, he knew that Tifa had strength and the ability to restrain him if caught unawares. He didn't want to hurt her if he could help it.

"Reactions and strength that match Vincent's…who trained you?" Leon was watching him just as carefully.

"I'd say he was on par with the General, Leon. You would have gotten a better hold on Vinnie…before he disappeared."

"Great." Leon shook his head. "What was it that set you off, Strife?"

"Well for one, we didn't give him any warning." Tifa shot Leon a glare. Cloud still stood silently, hands gripping the chair back tightly. "Clearly he has issues with surprises. That needs to be worked on without dulling his reaction time."

She turned to him then, taking on an air as though she was addressing the troops, complete with oversized general hat and pointing stick.

"You have been assigned to the SeeD position. Affectionately called the Valentine Corps, these agents work at infiltrating social settings, gather information and establish connections."

"The training you will require will be in your reactions, your ability to escape and defend yourself – which clearly does not seem to be an issue – and your social skills depending on the most likely situations you will find yourself in."

"You're going to teach me social skills?" Cloud cast Leon a sceptical glance.

"For now, we're going to teach you how to survive as the General's puppet for this mission. Anything else would take far longer than time permits. We can't rewire you in one night, and for this operation to work, he will need your complete cooperation."

"How much training do I need to just let the General do his job?" Cloud said dryly.

"That depends how adaptable you are." Leon returned. Match point.

"You're acting as the General's escort, Cloud, just as I will be Leon's." Tifa's hand waved idly as though the explanation was purely superfluous, attempting to distract the initial impact of her words.

"Wait, what?" he felt something in him seize, despite the airiness the brunette was trying to force onto the situation. Not good not good not good. Escorts meant boldness and carrying conversations. Escorts meant being thrust into the spotlight and being picked apart, weighed, judged, examined. Escorts meant – Hell, he wasn't sure if he could even meet the man's eyes for longer than a few moments with all the confusion surrounding him, if he was expected to actually allow the man close enough to – no. Absolutely not. "Why can't you use Yuffie or Selphie or Yuna or you, Tifa! What about Leon? Who would you send with him before I got here? This really isn't a good idea."

It was Leon who answered. "It is well known to his acquaintances that he has no interest or patience for females. If he were to attend this event with Tifa, he would be called on it. Any chance of getting closer to Xehanort would be lost."

There was a silent moment wherein he and Tifa exchanged glances.

"He and Leon don't…mesh well together. Your predecessor was a man named Tidus."

"So use him."

"He's dead."

"…oh." Well damn.

"Sit down."

Cloud complied without thought.

…

Despite the unbelievable creepiness that was Sephiroth, it didn't take much of Yuffie's awesome ninja skills to gain permission for a few hours leave. Some stealth to get into Sephiroth's office while he conversed with Matron, some application of information…

Alright, so yes, she had to run a few errands for Matron while she was out, and yes she had agreed to have an escort during that time – but she had totally won that encounter.

Shut up.

She'd also left with some interesting information on their new blond agent in the process. When even the Great Sephiroth was left in the dark about something, it was a mystery worth looking into.

But she had another mystery to solve first. Like what had Squall's britches in a twist.

Sure, she'd said that she'd accept an escort. Yes, she said she'd wait for the driver to get back. She said a lot of things.

Didn't stop her from taking the jeep, or waving merrily at the man as she drove off. It was just what ninja's did.

She'd apologize later.

Besides, Tifa would kill her if she left traces of her snooping. No witnesses of her destination, no reports on her activities.

So, that left her in a now silent green jeep, staring down the block at a set of large wrought iron gates as she counted off the seconds. There was a tight security ring around this property…cameras, patrols…one remarkably tall fence.

Made sense, really. The President was an important man, after all.

It would be fun, at least.

There was a gap in time, exactly three minutes and twenty-five seconds before the patrolling guards would have visual again. Within that window of time, there was exactly twenty-one seconds in which the camera's surveillance range would move beyond a small section of the wall approximately eighteen metres from the gate.

Under it all, she was really smarter and more attentive than people gave her credit for. Not that she was going to advertise the fact; taking people by surprise – being underestimated – that was her greatest strength sometimes.

That and her dashing good looks.

Personality.

Hell, she was a winner all around.

That's why when she casually strolled up to the wall, offering the passing guards a disarming grin, she didn't worry too much about what Leon's eventual retaliation once he found out where she had been.

Taking this wall was nothing after the ones she'd climbed to escape that man's wrath.

And she still found it hilarious to see the expression of the dark-haired woman when, seven minutes and fifteen seconds later – she was getting faster at this – she knocked politely on the third story window.

"Howdy!" She grinned, flipping into the room once the window was opened.

Shiny! She'd only ever been in this place once before, but the sheer amount of things that looked…well that looked like they would fetch quite a price and were portable…oh this place was so hers.

"Yuffie?" The woman's face broke into a grin that matched Yuffie's, grabbing her by the hands and spinning the poor ninja girl around. How can one focus on the most expensive things when one's world is twisting so precariously? But Yuffie was the best ninja in generations, so she managed. "I'm so glad to see you! I've been meaning to stop by and visit everyone, but they're keeping me busy here and then there's Laguna…And then Squall stopped by and I thought that…well…Yuffie, it's so good to see you again!"

Yuffie was still smiling, even as her mind was trying to piece together what she was talking about.

"Geez, Rinoa, if you want to see us, you should just come." She took a moment to actually look at the young woman, remembering why she was there when she realized just how much she and Tifa looked alike. If Rinoa, you know, had a larger chest, more muscle and more height. And Tifa wore something normal as a civilian for once. Or even a complete outfit devoid of leather.

She stopped herself from laughing at the thought of Tifa in Rinoa's blue angel-winged duster. Ah well. There was always Halloween.

Was that a ring on her finger?

Yuffie picked up a particularly shiny statue as she threw herself on the large – gigantic – canopied bed. Was that gold or gold leaf? She squinted, tilting it to catch the light.

"So…ah…" Rinoa sat gingerly next to her, hands on her knees, "How is everyone? Tifa, Paine?"

"Paine's off with Rikku for a bit. Yuna was upset for a while that she couldn't go with them, but she has Tidus, so it's all good." Gold leaf. Dammit.

"I thought Tidus was…" There was confusion in her voice. Yuffie didn't blame her; she had always been a little slow.

"Yeah, well try explaining that to her. Or Selphie. But, that's another thing entirely. Is that materia?" She was eying a large stone orb sitting on the bedside table. It looked like it was primarily being used as a decorative paperweight…that girl never did know to appreciate things for their true value.

"I'm not sure. Maybe? Rufus gave it to me a few days ago."

"Mmhm…so…Squall came to visit, huh?" She thrust the statue into Rinoa's hands, letting herself fall back. Squishy! Man, she had to ask Sephiroth for one of these duvets. There was no doubt about it; chocobo feather. They probably needed five of the beasts to fill this thing. Swanky. "How'd that go?"

"Oh…ah…well, I don't think he and Laguna get on too well…"

Yuffie nodded encouragingly. Well, as best as she could while curled up in cloud-like chocobo bliss. These things should be illegal.

They probably were.

"You know, if he was just around more..." She sighed. "He just needs to get used to Laguna. I mean, I fight with my father all the time! It doesn't mean I cut him out of my life though…is he going to cut me out too, because of this?"

Yuffie slowly sat up at that, turning to look at the dark-haired woman with the bubbling excitement of finally catching hold of that one tiny overlooked hardly important but devastatingly revealing piece of information.

"I mean, I told Laguna to tell Squall before the public. It's only fair, after all that he should know first! But he just…"

"Turned around and walked out?" Yuffie supplied helpfully.

"Well, not right away, but essentially, yes!" Yuffie cast a concerned glance at the statue. It may not be as expensive as she'd first thought, but it would still fetch a good price. Not if it was broken though, which is where it looked like it would end up in Rinoa's grip. "I wish he would just talk to us about it! Talk to me. Wait…is that why you're here?"

There was a silence where the dark-haired woman and she had a stare-off.

Yuffie, for her part, had no idea what the other woman was on about, but damned if she lost a staring contest.

"He sent you here for a purpose, didn't he." She sprang to her feet, the statue hitting the bedside table with a forceful thud. "I knew it! What a cowardly, socially inept, self-centred, egotistical –"

If left alone, Yuffie knew that Rinoa would continue ranting for far longer than she had patience. Or permission to be off base, for that matter. "As much I like hearing you badmouth our Leonhart, he doesn't know I'm here. In fact, if he knew I was here, it's likely I'd be found ten years from now in many small pieces scattered about the city only identifiable from the curses carved into my bones. But, by all means, continue."

"Oh." Rinoa stopped in the middle of her pacing, turning back to the young ninja sitting placidly on her bed. "Then why are you here?"

Yuffie grinned. "Tifa sent me to find out why our…what was it…our 'cowardly, socially inept, self-centred, egotistical' Leonhart was more tetchy than usual."

"You can tell the difference?" Rinoa snorted softly to herself. Yuffie decided to ignore that comment for the moment, storing it away to use later.

"So what exactly was it that you and Mr. President had to tell Squall boy?"

"We're getting married." Rinoa held up her hand, another shiny sparkling. "Two months. Oh. And I'm pregnant."

Yuffie couldn't help herself. She tried, really, she did. But she really couldn't help herself, and ended up doubled over laughing. She'd always thought that Squall would have a more creative reason to angst.

…

"We're going to take this one more time."

Leon circled Cloud leisurely, leaving him with the feeling of being prey. He didn't like that feeling. That feeling made him want to…Cloud didn't even know himself. Bare his fangs and attack? But he knew they weren't training him to be the alpha wolf here. They were trying to train him to sit back and take it.

Be the General's puppet.

…God, he hated that word.

But he had no where else to go. It wasn't as though he could just up and leave this place…he had no place left to run; no home or family or life or pets to return to. He was a blank slate. If they wanted to throw him to the lions, he would go; if only because he had no where else to turn. Didn't mean he wouldn't try and take a few down on his way, though.

"Relax." Tifa's voice was mellow, trying to keep him focused on the part they needed him to play. He was beginning to hate that word too.

Relax puppet, ignore the hand creeping towards your neck, the other trapping you in place. Relax puppet, that squeeze is a signal, not an attempt to locate your vital points. Smile, the audience is watching.

You have no strings to hold you down, but you're not a real boy. Not yet.

He's going to make a man out of you.

Leon's head was looming closer, and Cloud found himself fighting his instincts of measuring the distance and timing – of how close he could let the man get before an effective escape was possible. How much damage could be done at what range.

"Cloud, you're tensing up again." Tifa took a few steps to the left, one hand poking the muscles at his back and neck. One well placed jab in the small of his back. "Never stand so straight, you give off the air of an automaton following instruction. Lower your shoulders. You don't need to lean into advances if you don't want to. Holding back is an acceptable form of expression, but only when the situation allows for it."

Leon held his position calmly through Tifa's assessment, his face an expressionless mask as though he was just going through the motions, like he had a hundred times before, and would innumerable times in the future. Romantic, that.

"You haven't tried to kill Leon yet, that's a good sign. This is the point where if there was a drink available, it's advisable to use it as a prop. If you ignore your surroundings too much, someone will notice and in this line of work, curiosity is rarely a blessing." Tifa squinted slightly, tilting her head. "Cloud, if he's coming in like that, your hands can't be locked at your sides. The General is known for intimidating his escorts, but he still elicits a response."

"Leon is hardly the General, Tifa." Cloud grated.

"No." The speaker was kind enough to lower his voice, considering how close he was to the blonde's ear, standing toe to toe as they were. Cloud could feel the ticklish bristling of the scarred man's hair against his cheek. If he hadn't, he would have received a fist in his gut. Good to see he was learning. "The General would not be nearly this patient with you. You will move your hands."

Ha. Bastard. Cloud allowed Tifa to manoeuvre his right hand, feeling the solid warmth of the chest beneath the white shirt. The tips of his fingers ran over the warm metal of the lion-headed necklace he wore. No wonder he'd thought of prey.

"He will expect his escort to be ready and responsive to the slightest change in situation. We don't have the time to teach you all of the signals that have been developed for this purpose - and there are a lot of them - but we'll try and have you knowing as many of the important ones as possible. The General knows you're inexperienced on the field." Tifa grimaced, "Leon, you're right - Sephiroth is hardly going to be that careful. We're trying to prepare him here."

Cloud couldn't help tensing up at that, swivelling to look at Tifa with widening eyes.

"He's barely holding out on gutting me with his bare hands as it is, Lockhart." Leon said dryly. "I don't think pushing him against a wall is the best option at the moment, especially considering where that ended up last time."

"You just don't want to be the submissive." Tifa shot back without missing a beat. "He's a man, Leon, telling him to sit back and take it isn't high on his list of things to listen to."

Cloud was sure there was a headache coming on. This was a bad dream. Nightmare. This was a horrible nightmare. And when he woke up, he would be…be…alone in a cold apartment, waiting for no one and expecting nothing. If he could remember…maybe he really did have a life somewhere, waiting for him to come back. A nice wife, white picket fence, three bratty kids. Well, not kids; he was pretty sure he was only 21, and that was far more than he was willing to deal with. Then again, maybe he was a convict facing thirty odd years in a cold dark cell. Amnesia was a bitch.

So instead of turning around and leaving – probably slamming the door on the gratifyingly shocked faces of the two quite possibly certifiably insane instructors – he shifted closer, taking a small measure of amusement from the almost invisible flinch from the other man. There was only one solution to ending this fiasco, and that was getting it over with as soon as possible.

"Maybe if you were more like the General, you'd elicit the right response." He was tired, and he was hungry, and he just wanted this to be over. If that meant playing along with these ridiculous exercises, then he would damn well play along. But hell if he would roll over for Leon. "If you want me to react you'll have to be far more…assertive."

From the corner of his eye he caught Tifa gaping for a moment before breaking into a grin. "…Leon, I think that was a challenge."

Leon stepped back. "…I think he's ready."

Cloud's mouth twitched into a smirk. No, he was nowhere near ready to face being the General's puppet, much less carry on a conversation with the man beyond base-related succinct responses. But he wasn't going to be the test subject here any longer either. He'd deal with trying to be a proper escort and not look like a social reject when the time came. All he had to do was hope Sephiroth's hands didn't wander too far.