Oh, how I wish I had my car right now. We've been walking for thirty minutes to get to the market. Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett don't seem fazed by the walk, probably because they are used to it. Well, thankfully I'm dressed up like a boy this time around.

"How much longer?" I ask after a while. Sweeney ignores me completely, no surprise. Mrs. Lovett turns slightly and mutters something along the lines of "We'll get there when we get there". Wow, these two would win awards for their "outstanding" people skills. We round a corner and find ourselves at the market. Finally! I see Sweeney turn and give me a hard look. Great, what did I do to piss him off now? Seriously, he's worse than a woman PMS-ing!

"You are not to speak," He growls darkly, "You're accent is too foreign and you might give away your true sex if you do." I give him a look.

"Let me point something out to you. Your little sailor friend, Anthony, looks more girly than me and I am a woman! Besides, I can make my voice deeper and I can fake a British accent." Sweeney narrows his eyes.

"Not a word," He whispers. Oh, I give up! I nod and all three of us head into the crowd. On cue, the Beatle shows up and Sweeney looks like he's going to charge at him. Thankfully, Mrs. Lovett stops him and gives him a weary look. He backs off, but he keeps his eye on the Beatle.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention perlease?

Oh no, another song. Hopefully, Mrs. Lovett will sing or I'll have to fill her role again! I don't think Sweeney will be very happy about that.

Do you wake every morning in shame and despair to discover your pillow is covered with hair?

Wot ought not to be there?

"No," I say accidently, causing Sweeney to give me the look of death. Toby looks in our direction and suddenly stops singing. He's staring directly at me and has a hazy look on his face….Oh, shit. I know that look. Either Toby's gay, or he knows I'm a woman. Sweeney, seeing the look Toby's giving me, stands in front of me to hide his view. Clearing his throat, Toby continues to sing.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, for now on you can awaken at ease!

You will never again have a worry or care.

I will show you a miracle marvel that's rare!

I notice how Sweeney's moving in front of me back and forth, so I'm guessing that Toby's trying to look at me again. I hear Mrs. Lovett giggling at how ridiculous Sweeney must look. She quickly stops when Sweeney glares at her. I chuckle and he kicks my shin lightly with the back of his foot.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to see somethin' wot rose from the dead…

On the top of me head!

I hear the crowd laugh. Well, at least this song is half way done.

'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir.

That's wot did the trick, sir.

True, sir, true.

Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir.

Just like an elixir ought to do.

How about a bottle, mister?

Only cost a penny guaranteed.

Toby sees me again and smiles shyly at me. Great. Not only am I too old for him, I'm not even from this time AND I'm dressed up like a man! Sweeney quickly stands in front of me again because Toby's just standing there like a deer in headlights.

Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?

You can have my oath, sir, 'tis unique.

Rub a minute, stimulatin' in'nit?

Soon you'll have to thin it once a week.

Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?

Are we standin' near an open drench?

"Are we standing near an open drench?" I say loudly to a man near me. He gives me a funny look. Oh, crap, I forgot to do the accent. Thankfully, my two deranged love birds are too caught up in the scene to notice.

Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir!

Anything more slick, sir?

Soon sprouts curls.

Try Pirelli's!

When they see how thick, sir, you can have your pick, sir, off the girls!

Wonna buy a bottle, mister--?

What is this?

"It's piss!" I yell loudly in a British accent, holding up my bottle.

"Take a good whiff, sir. Wot does it smell like to yeh?" I ask as I hand my bottle to the man beside me. He wrinkles his nose after smelling the fumes.

This is piss, piss with ink.

Thank you, Captain Obvious!

Let Pirelli's activate your root, sir!

Keep it off your boot, sir. Eats right through.

Yes, try Pirelli's!

Use a bottle of it!

Ladies seem to love it!

"Flies do, too!" Mrs. Lovett yells. Everyone laughs at her comment until Pirelli makes his dramatic appearance. Oh, wonderful! Another song! I'm sitting this one out…

With no surprise at all, we all leave the market in victory. Sweeney is too lost in thought to be broody and Mrs. Lovett is too lost in her thoughts about Sweeney to be acting timid. Well, I have an idea about what to do about Toby when Pirelli is gutted. I'll try to talk Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett into telling him the truth about his old master and Sweeney's revenge plan. I may be able to prevent the outcome after "A Little Priest" by having Toby know everything. Besides, I may need his help with getting Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett together. After all, meddling kids are the key when it comes to match-making.