She stared at her door, somehow hoping that if she looked long enough, something would happen.
So far, nothing had.
Penny looked around her apartment, hoping to find anything that might keep her from the task ahead of her. No, unfortunately she had gone on a cleaning spree the night before after returning from a tense shift at work. They'd been there. Of course they had. It was Tuesday night, after all. Howard had been the only one who said more than three words to her. Leonard was pouting, Sheldon was still barely acknowledging her existence, and Raj was sober. Wolowitz had invited her to his house this weekend for meatloaf and she'd distractedly said she would go.
That was when she'd known she had to snap out of this funk. She was single, this was what she had wanted, wasn't it? She'd lumbered home, ignoring the boisterous noises coming from 4A and had simply collapsed on her couch. Moments later, her phone had vibrated in her purse. She'd pulled it out to find a text from Sheldon.
I'm always right.
Seething, she had erupted into a frenzy of cleaning energy, dusting and vacuuming and straightening every surface in the apartment. Of course he was right, but did he constantly feel the need to point it out?
Now she stood, still undecided in her living room before biting the bullet. She would show him who was right. Penny strode across the hall to knock once on the door to 4A before letting herself in. Four sets of eyes settled on her in silence. Sheldon visibly pressed the 'Pause' button.
"Hey guys," she started after taking a deep breath. "What's up?"
They all looked at each other, clearly having a silent conversation after years of practice. Finally, Howard turned toward her. "We're playing 'Halo'." He waited a moment before nodding. Penny sucked his lips in between her teeth for a moment before opening her mouth with a small 'pop'.
"Yeah, I can see that," she answered sardonically. She took a deep breath. There was still time to turn tail and run for it, and the boys wouldn't think anything of it, she was sure. Leonard looked at her and gave her a somewhat tight smile and she felt herself relax ever so slightly. "Um, I just…I wanted to remind you guys that you're invited over to my place tomorrow for Thanksgiving dinner." She nodded her head, to convince herself as much as to convince the four men who were currently looking at her as if she had spouted tentacles.
"Really?" Howard asked after a moment of silence.
She took another deep breath. "Yep," Penny replied.
The response was met with a spontaneous round of indifference. She didn't really expect better, though. They all looked at each other again, and the wordless conversation that was happening about her three feet from where she stood was unnerving to say the least. Finally, they all stopped and simultaneously looked at her again.
"That would be very nice, thank you." Surprisingly, it was coming from Leonard. He gave her the same tight smile and Penny returned it, albeit a little more naturally. He was clearly trying, and for that, Penny wanted to hug him. She knew she couldn't, however. It would just confuse things even more than they already were.
"Will you be serving cranberry jelly or cranberry sauce?" Sheldon asked, agitation in his voice.
Penny regarded him warily. It was the first time he had acknowledged her existence in some time, and she didn't want to spook him by picking a fight. "Um, would you like to make the cranberries? Then they'll be exactly the way you like them?" He looked startled and sat back on the couch. She had accidentally gone too far in the other direction. Being too nice was also something that was going to make him uneasy. "I mean, you're the only one who's going to be picky about it."
"You mean I'm the only one who has standards?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Penny chewed her lip to keep from smiling triumphantly.
"Howard? Can I tempt you away from Turbriskefil?" She waggled her eyebrows at him for a moment. Surprisingly, she had missed him the last week when she'd been avoiding all of them. Somehow, he was one she had been getting closer to. It turned out, he did have a sense of shame and being around her all the time helped desensitize himself to her, creating an environment where he wasn't constantly trying to figure out ways to sleep with her. Penny had been able to simply appreciated the nice guy that was buried under misguided bravado and brightly-colored dickies and a hairstyle that was four pounds too heavy.
"I will distract my mother with something shiny and sneak out," he answered, his voice lowering to a conspiratory murmur.
"Great," Penny responded. She cocked her head to the side. "Raj?"
The Indian man leaned toward Howard and whispered something in his ear. Howard rolled his eyes and turned toward Penny. "Will there be alcohol there?"
Penny grinned. "I wouldn't have it any other way, sweetie." Raj nodded his consent. Then the blonde turned her eyes toward Leonard. He was watching her, but looked away when her gaze fell on him.
"Vaccinium Ocycocco," Sheldon spoke up. Penny raised an eyebrow.
"Excuse me?" she asked, chuckling uncomfortably.
"The common North American cranberry," he answered impatiently. Penny rubbed her temples. There was a good chance tomorrow would be the longest day of her life.
***
Penny poured herself a generous glass of wine and drank it halfway down at once. She knew it was probably in poor taste to be half in the bag before your guests even showed up, but she was making exceptions today.
She heard them long before they knocked on the door. The second the door to 4A opened, their voices started wafting toward her.
"No, we can't tell her she has to watch the parade instead of the pre-game," Leonard mumbled.
"I don't see why not," Sheldon whined.
"It's her home," Leonard answered.
"That's another thing," the tall man responded. "I don't see why we have to come over here."
"We were invited," Howard piped up.
"Yeah," Raj said. "She gets to make the rules."
"I don't like that idea," Sheldon argued.
"I'm shocked," Leonard deadpanned.
A moment later, there was a knock at her door. Penny flung it open with a bit too much flourish, causing all four men to collectively take a step back. "Hey guys," she greeted before stepping back to allow them in. They all stepped in tentatively, Leonard bringing up the rear. He gave her a small shy smile before hurrying to the couch and sitting.
"Where should I put the cranberry sauce?"
Penny turned toward Sheldon, who held a bowl to his chest. "So, you went with the sauce then?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Yes," he answered as he gazed down at the bowl. "It's my Meemaw's recipe."
"That's so cute," Penny replied before she could think about it. He quirked an eyebrow at her. She cleared her throat. "Um, so yeah. You can put it on the counter," she gestured toward her kitchen.
"So, when are we carving the turkey?" Howard asked, turning from his spot on the couch next to Leonard.
"Um….." Penny tucked her hair behind her ears. "I…decided not to cook turkey."
All movement stopped and four pairs of eyes found her, each with an expression of horror. "No turkey," Sheldon repeated, his voice going up an octave. "What are we eating?"
She narrowed her eyes and set her jaw. "Enchiladas?"
Sheldon stared at her blankly for a moment before letting out his high-pitched giggle. "You're joking."
"Well, I didn't want to make an entire turkey for just the five of us, and Leonard really liked my enchilada recipe."
"And did he tell you this when you were engaging in coitus on a regular basis?" Sheldon asked flatly.
Penny opened her mouth before turning toward her ex-boyfriend. "Were you lying?" She was trying to keep the hurt out of her voice, but knew it wasn't working.
"It wasn't lying," Leonard defended. "It was more….protecting your feelings?"
"That's irrational."
"I thought you might think so, Sheldon." Leonard frowned and turned back to face the television.
"Let me know when 'Hello Kitty' is on," Penny called out as she stepped over to her oven to check on the pan. When she rotated back, she noticed Sheldon still staring at her with an expression of disdain clear on his face. "Come on, Sheldon. It will be good."
"Yes, of course," he answered dryly. "I seem to remember when our forefathers landed on Plymouth Rock, they celebrated the first Thanksgiving by inviting the Native Americans to partake in a taco bar." He dropped his bowl on the counter with some force before landing in her chair. "This is going to suck."
Penny turned toward Raj, who was currently filling his glass with wine. "Raj sweetie, could you help me set the table?"
Raj smiled warmly and nodded. "What kind of enchiladas did you make?"
"Turkey," she answered, her voice taking on a 'duh' tone.
"Yes, that's much more traditional," Sheldon spit out.
Penny opened her mouth to answer him, but was cut off. "Hello Kitty! Hello Kitty!" She glanced at the television and felt placated by the sight of the large floating cat. She came into the living room and sat on the arm of the couch next to Howard. They all sat in silence for a moment.
"We can still go eat Turbriskefil if everyone wants," Howard suggested.
"What a decision," Sheldon remarked.
Penny took another gulp of wine and prayed for nightfall.
***
"-think he's doing so well because he dumped crazy Jessica Simpson," Penny noted as she raised her glass to take another drink. Sheldon gave her a lingering glance before responding.
"That is a popular opinion, yes. His interception percentage is at an all-time low."
She craned her neck to look up at him. "You know about football, huh?"
"I was raised in Texas," he answered by way of explanation. "It wasn't really a choice. My brother and father were very big fans, and tried to get me interested in it."
Penny tucked her legs under herself as she listened to his voice, causing her entire body to shift toward him. He smelled nice, like soap and mint. Not in an antiseptic way, like she often thought he would. She actually couldn't remember ever having smelled him before, and was thoroughly surprised at how pleasant she found it. She inhaled deeply.
"Are you sniffing me?" he asked, peering down at her prone form, still folded against him.
"Kinda," she answered before straightening back up and looking at him. He was watching her in a way that caused her stomach to squirm.
"Your inebriation level, that so many find endearing, is off-putting." He swallowed and looked back at the television screen.
"Have you had any fun today, Sheldon?" It came out in a sigh.
"You served us Mexican food," he started. "You and Leonard are for some reason trying to pretend you didn't crush him like a bug only a week ago. You allowed Raj to become drunk to the point of annoyance, and served Howard nuts without his knowledge. They all had to go to the emergency room to get him a shot of Epinephrine." He looked at her again. "Was I supposed to be having fun?"
Penny winced as all of this came at her. She rose and reached for the wine bottle to re-fill her glass. Once accomplished, she fell back to the couch cushion, collapsing against Sheldon's side. He sighed in irritation. "How many more glasses until you pass out?" he asked, looking down at her before shrugging his shoulder to encourage her to sit up. She chose to ignore him.
"Why do I make you so miserable?" she asked.
"I assume I don't have to actually give that a response," he answered flatly.
"Sheldon," Penny whined, laying her head against his shoulder.
"Penny," he replied. "When I was seven, my father caught fire while deep-frying our turkey in our driveway and had to spend three weeks in the burn unit at the hospital, and this is still the worst Thanksgiving I've ever had."
Penny gave a humorless chuckle. "Okay." She yawned and snuggled closer to him. "I still have 'Charlie Brown Thanksgiving' saved on my Tivo. You want to watch it?" She could feel his eyes regarding her.
"I suppose," he finally answered quietly. She allowed the smallest smile onto her lips before biting them in consternation. This really had been for all intents and purposes, a terrible day. Dinner had been burnt, Raj had been hitting on her constantly, Leonard had avoided her at all costs, and she'd sent Howard to the emergency room by not letting him know the chocolate cake she'd made for dessert had peanut butter in it. And of course, Sheldon had kept up a running commentary of each moment, not letting anything pass without mention. But astonishingly, none of that was currently bothering her. Sure, she felt terrible about Howard, and even Leonard to an extent. Overall however, she was feeling dangerously content.
"You smell good," she murmured as the opening of the cartoon played on the screen.
"I bathe on a regular basis," he retorted immediately. She laughed softly before pulling her head far enough away so she could look up at him.
"I know," she said. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments, and Penny was moving toward him before she realized what she was doing. Her lips landed on his quickly. Sheldon turned to stone next to her, completely freezing in his spot and it was then that Penny's brain caught up with her mouth. She pulled away just as quickly as she'd leaned forward and covered her mouth with the hand that wasn't still clutching an empty wine glass.
Sheldon stared at her in abject horror for a moment before scurrying over the back of her couch simply to get away from her. "Why on Earth would you do that?" he asked, his voice trembling with anger and something else Penny couldn't place in her advanced state of insobriety.
She rose from her spot to face him as he backed toward her bedroom door. "I'm so, so sorry, Sheldon." Penny set her glass down next to the nearly empty bottle of wine and moved toward him. He crossed his arms defensively across his chest. "I'm…drunk and…." She had no words for what had caused her to do it, because she honestly didn't know what had caused the impulse. Her relationship with the physicist had always been strained at best, and outright adversarial at worst.
"I know your particular modus operandi is to become intoxicated and engage in carnal behavior with someone of the opposite sex, but I need to remind you that I am not Leonard and have no desire to be your proverbial boy toy." He raised his arms at the end, giving Penny the benefit of quotation marks he made with his fingers.
Penny dropped her head into her hands, pulling at her hair in frustration. Before she had the option of organizing her fuzzy thoughts into a coherent sentence, she heard footsteps on the stairs and brushed her hair back into place. The door opened seconds later, and Howard entered, followed closely by Raj and Leonard.
"Hey guys," she forced of cheerily. "Everything go okay?"
"Oh yeah," Howard assured her. "That happens a lot."
"I'm sorry," she added sincerely and touched Wolowitz's arm. He gave her a smile in response.
"It's okay, it wasn't the last time it will happen to me."
"So," Leonard asked, looking between Sheldon and Penny. "What did you guys do while we were gone?"
"We cleaned up the kitchen-" she answered quickly.
"-the football game," he responded at the same time. Their eyes met before Sheldon quickly looked down at his hideous giant shoes.
The other three could now sense the tension occurring between the tall man and the blonde. They all just stared at each other for several seconds of silence before Penny yawned loudly. "Well, I need to get up really early in the morning. Black Friday and everything." Penny stretched her arms above her head. "Double shift."
Raj looked at his watch dubiously. "It's seven o'clock."
"I think we should clear out and let Penny get her rest," Sheldon muttered quickly. He turned on his heel and walked out of the apartment without another glance at her. The other three stood their uncertainly.
"Uh, yeah. I guess," Leonard finally said with a nod. "Thanks for…everything."
"Yeah, it was great," Penny answered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She moved forward and hugged him awkwardly.
"Dinner was delicious," Raj spoke up before taking her hand and kissing it.
"Do you want leftovers to take?" Penny offered, moving toward the fridge.
"No, that's okay." He quickly retreated to stand behind Leonard, clearly afraid of having to eat another bite of Penny's cooking. She turned toward the last of them.
"I'm sorry I almost killed you," she winced at him.
Howard gave her a real grin instead of a creepy leer. "Well, you just owe me one now I guess."
Penny gave him a one-armed hug. "Within reason," she added with a raised finger pointed at him.
With final waves goodbye, they all left, closing the door behind themselves. Penny stood and stared around her empty apartment and sighed before flipping the lights off and climbing back onto the couch to finish watching the holiday cartoon. She tried to focus on Linus and the ping-pong table and not the fact that before he had freaked out, Sheldon had actually maybe kissed her back.