Penny trudged up the stairs, yearning for her shower in a way she hadn't since her siblings had tied her down and covered her with mustard when she was six. Every part of her body was currently sore and yelling at her for even being upright. It was Saturday, for crying out loud. On Saturdays she slept until at least ten, and then made macaroni and cheese and had a 'Criminal Minds' marathon. She did not get up early to go shoot paintball with Wolowitz.

And yet….

Raj and Leonard moved soundlessly behind her. Leonard had been uncharacteristically quiet the whole morning. Koothrapali on the other hand, had been chatting her up since Penny had met them in the hallway earlier that day. Howard had quickly informed her that in honor of her joining them, Raj had washed his Eggos down with a screwdriver.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat lunch with us?" Leonard spoke up. "We have enough."

"Oh," Penny bit her lower lip. "No thanks." In truth, it wasn't so much that she was sick of them or even awkward around them. On the contrary, over the past couple days Penny had been feeling a legitimate kinship with her geeks. The four of them had been spending a lot of time together. But there was always the tiniest feeling that it still wasn't quite right.

She missed Sheldon.

Penny was still beating herself up for the horrible voicemail she'd left for him. The way she'd just snapped off her hinges and lashed out at him was undeserved, and she was constantly resisting the urge to call and apologize. Penny wasn't stupid. She knew his text to Leonard was in response to her tirade, his passive aggressive response to her. She also knew it wasn't fair to apologize to him only to alleviate her own guilt about the situation. He had his own problems, and had most likely not given it any more thought.

She'd sent him a text anyway. I'm sorry. And then had obsessively checked her phone every thirty seconds for the next two days, waiting for any sort of response. She'd gotten none. He had more important things to focus on than her own neuroses, Penny knew. Despite this, she'd physically stopped herself five times from calling him over the last couple of days. The day before, she'd gone so far as to turn the phone off and stick it between her couch cushions to avoid temptation.

She was definitely losing it. And over what?

Sheldon?

"Has anyone talked to Sheldon?" she asked, hoping she wasn't as transparent as she seemed.

"He left me a voicemail the other night reminding me to feed his fish and get the mail," Leonard supplied as they reached their floor.

"He sent me an e-mail yesterday letting me know I'd gotten another strike," Howard jumped in, shrugging his shoulders.

"What?" Penny asked. "What did you do from here?"

"I may have sent him the 'Chocolate Rain' video. Again." He didn't look slightly sorry.

"Howard, his grandmother just died," Penny noted reproachfully.

"I was trying to cheer him up," the engineer defended hastily. "Just thinking about that video cracks me up." His eyes moved upward and he chuckled to himself.

"When is the funeral?" the blonde asked, pulling her keys out of her bag.

"Monday," Raj answered quietly.

Penny turned to look at the three sheepish men. "What time are we flying out?" She swallowed hard over the lump in her throat. "We need to be there for him." They all shifted uncomfortably.

"Penny," Howard started. "Sheldon doesn't really like having people around."

"I….know," she finally agreed, feeling sick. "I just think …." She trailed off, not knowing the end of her sentence. They all watched her expectantly for several moments. Penny cleared her throat, and everyone shuffled their feet. "What are you guys getting him for Christmas?"

"You really never learn, do you?" Leonard asked with a grin.

"What do you mean?" Penny asked, cocking her head to the side.

"He doesn't want us to get him things," Raj piped up.

"Hey, my gift last year was very well received."

"I for one am not looking forward to another anxiety attack during a trip to 'Bath and Body Works'." Howard shot her a meaningful look. Penny nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Leonard asked her in a low voice.

"Uh, yeah." They turned in tandem and silently walked to her apartment, leaving the other two men alone with the bag of takeout. Penny waited for Leonard to step in before shutting the door and turning to him expectantly. "What's up?"

"I-hi, how are you?" Leonard seemed nervous, jumpy.

"Leonard, we just spent the last three hours together," Penny answered cautiously. "I'm fine, what's up?"

"I just um…." He adjusted his glasses slightly and ran a hand through his hair. "We've been having fun together, right?"

Oh.

"Sure," Penny answered lightly, smiling a little. "You guys are a lot of fun to hang out with."

"Yeah," Leonard responded anxiously. "Look Penny, I…I miss you." He took a step toward her. "I want to get back together."

No.

"Really?" she asked quietly. His eyebrows shoot up, hope apparent in his features.

Shit.

"Leonard," Penny began, knowing this was about to suck. "Look, I have been having a great time with you lately. And I love spending time with you guys, I really do." She tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear. "But I really don't think it's a good idea if we get back together."

"Oh." He looked down at his sneakers. "Is there… I mean, is there someone else?"

"No," Penny answered, and felt her stomach flip over. What the hell was going on here? She needed to get a grip. Thinking about apologizing to Sheldon for being crazy and hostile was a far cry from considering him a….someone else.

Wasn't it?

"Maybe," she amended a moment later and then slapped her own forehead.

"Who?"

"Sheldon."

Only for once, it wasn't just in her head. Penny belatedly covered her mouth with her hand, closing her eyes.

"Uh, what?" Leonard was looking at her as if she might be radioactive.

"No," Penny replied. "It's not like…I just…." She sighed, flopping down on her couch as Leonard continued to stare at her in a slightly horrified manner. "I have been thinking about him a lot," she finally admitted. "When he left, we…we weren't on very good terms."

"You guys haven't been on good terms since you moved in," Leonard cracked, sitting down next to her. "This is really, really weird."

"No, it's not…there's nothing…" Penny didn't know what to say, because she didn't know what was going on herself. More than likely, Sheldon had given no thought to any of it, which Penny knew was the right course of action. He'd shown her the tiniest crack in his full-body armor and what had she done? Obsessed over how to dig her fingers into the hole and pull him completely apart so she could see if the inside was filled with jelly or just wiring.

"Wow," Leonard intoned.

"Shut up," Penny smiled miserably. "I just….miss him? I think?" She craned her head toward him. "Could that be right?"

"Penny," Leonard announced. "I'm learning more and more with every passing second here that I might not know you at all." He smiled at her and the air between them calmed. He sighed. "You know there's a ninety-nine percent chance that he doesn't or is incapable of feeling anything for you, right?" Penny frowned. "I mean, I'm not trying to….I just…He's Sheldon, and even on the off-chance that he does care about you in some form, his ability to or likeliness of showing it is….." He trailed off, sighing again.

"Yeah," Penny agreed, nodding.

This was good. Penny had heard the term 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' before, but had never really experienced it so fully before. That's all this was anyway. He was gone and now she was only remembering the parts of him that didn't drive her completely nuts. He'd lent her money, that was nice of him. He always fixed her laptop when she accidentally deleted something important or somehow downloaded a virus while looking up pictures of David Duchovny. That was neighborly. He'd chosen to keep her as a friend over Raj and had taught her 'Conan' and had taken her underwear and hung it on a telephone wire and-

She was losing focus.

"Sheldon," Leonard finally said, shaking his head before giving her a look of pity. Penny rolled her eyes and punched him lightly in the shoulder as they both chuckled. She gave him a watery smile before grimacing. She dug a hand underneath herself and pulled out her cell phone. She stared at it blankly long enough that Leonard noticed. "What's wrong with it?"

Penny shook her head silently. "Nothing." She pressed the power button, making it chime happily at them. The phone showed her basic wallpaper for ten seconds before alerting her to a five new text messages. Ignoring the fact that her ex-boyfriend was sitting right next to her, Penny held her breath and opened her inbox. Three texts were from other servers at work, all letting her know how much their shifts had sucked. One was a forwarded dirty joke from her sister.

The last one was from him.

Apology accepted. Please refrain from sitting in my spot.

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"So, why ninety-nine percent?" Penny asked, laying her head back against the couch.

"Huh?"

"You said you were ninety-nine percent sure he couldn't care about me."

Leonard looked at her evenly for a moment. "He left quickly. I think he only took the shoes he was wearing. He left his notebooks and his Dictaphone."

"Okay?" Penny retorted leadingly.

"He took the napkin with him."