Notes:
Regarding this chapter – It's short. It's pointless, possibly even fluff. I apologize. I am hoping to work in more of the good ol' romance thing in the next few chapters, so don't be disappointed, please! I mean, you can be disappointed if you want to. Tell me in a review. Heh.
DDR Extreme! Roar! I'm sorry I haven't been able to update in a while. On the bright side, I placed second in a game store's DDR tournament (for both the preliminaries and the finals a week later…!). Are any of you going to the upcoming Anime USA convention? If you are, look for me! I will be cosplaying as Seto Kaiba (I wish I could see him playing DDR!). Please e-mail me. MotherCHOWGoddess, please keep on reminding me to e-mail you! I tell myself to and then forget. Bad me.
Five Replies:
Satanic Mechanic: Yuki wasn't schizophrenic in the anime? Really? I wouldn't know; I've only had the opportunity to watch the first DVD. I wonder why…
DarkangelWings1324: My goodness! You mean that I'm actually writing a sock-rocker? I feel so complimented. Thank you!
JuniperMoon: And if I have my way, they won't just be making up … if you know what I mean. Heh heh.
DemonSurfer: Yes! I would definitely recommend Gravitation. A staple in the diet of all boys' love fans. Like … like … Shakespeare for the English student. Except different. Indeed.
Sapphire Dragons: Ooh, food fight. Now there's a thought. Let's see where this goes.
And a side note to Sarasusamiga, whose name is painfully hard for Lethe to spell (sarusu … sarasa …?!) but is very wonderful anyway –
Plushie! Yay! I shall accept it with much gratitude. Want a cookie?
Exercise your rights! Click the Review button! Oh, the drama!
Appeal
Four: The Third and Fourth Wheels
It was the middle of the third ring before the phone was picked up.
"Jonouchi residence," said a male voice – Jou's, Kaiba determined after a moment – cheerfully. "If you're a telemarketer, feel free to hang up now."
"And if I'm not?" said Kaiba. He leaned against his door as he spoke, in an affected sort of casualness.
"Who is thi-" Jonouchi cursed. "Kaiba? What the hell do you want?"
"Well, if you really must cut to the chase-"
"Like you want to make small talk," said Jonouchi. Sarcasm didn't become the dog. "Why are you calling me?"
"I would like to invite you out to dinner," said Kaiba. How would Jonouchi react to that?
He found out two seconds later.
"What?! Are you out of your fu- are you out of your mind?!"
"You heard me, Jonouchi." Kaiba paused. "We could discuss the project. After all, we have to do it eventually."
"Hell, no. I'm not spending more time with you than I have to."
"My brother is coming."
"So?"
"He likes you, for some reason. Besides, I'll be paying for the food."
Jonouchi let out a cheer. Kaiba pulled the cell phone away from his ear quickly. "I'll be ready in ten minutes!" My, but he had changed his tone rather quickly.
"Then we'll be picking you up in ten minutes. I'll see you then." Kaiba hung up. There was a glint in his eye; a calculating Kaiba glint. One would almost think that he was enjoying himself.
Now, while Kaiba was a master of gaming and strategy, there were some things that he simply could not anticipate.
This had happened to be one of them.
In any case, he was irritated.
"No, Jonouchi. I did not extend the invitation to any of your … friends," he snapped, not bothering to keep his voice unheard by said friend. Honda twitched.
Jou crossed his arms. "Kaiba, he's coming along."
"No, he's not," said Kaiba. He reminded himself to remain calm. "Perhaps if you had notified me beforehand…"
"But then you would have said no," argued Jonouchi, for all the world as though he were a child intent upon bringing home his new pet frog.
Seto pressed a finger to his left temple, closing his eyes and trying to bite back a grimace. You're trying to seduce him, not murder him. "Jonouchi…" he began.
"Come on!" insisted Jou. "It's not like you can't afford it."
What could he say to that, short of revealing his plan? It was too early in the game to announce any desire for Jou; he could only agree.
Jou took his silence as submission, and a bright – though rather smirky – grin spread across his face. He grabbed Honda's arm and pulled him close, bringing the image of a child and his frog more prominently to Kaiba's mind. "So, Honda, ready to feast?"
"Why, yes, I think that I am!" Honda grinned back. It wasn't as rambunctious a grin as usual, though – he must have felt out of place. Jou had probably forced him to come along.
That meant that Jonouchi didn't trust Kaiba. And, he supposed, with good reason.
Kaiba sighed inwardly. He would have to give in on this point – but, if he played the game well, it would work even better than having Jou alone. All he needed to do was keep the interest of the group – to be charming, and humorous enough that they all felt at ease, and an entirely gracious host.
In other words, he needed to change his personality completely during the fifteen minutes in the limo.
Honda and Jou were laughing like maniacs.
"No, Honda! That one's the one that makes the windows go up and down! I think we should try this one!" As Kaiba watched in the rearview mirror, Jonouchi reached over Mokuba – who had somehow ended up in the middle – and pointed at the button he wanted to experiment on. "See, right there! The red one."
"The one that says 'alarm' in little white letters?" laughed Honda.
"I'd suggest that you don't," said Kaiba, careful to keep his tone neutral. "It's rather an important button."
"Ooh," said Jonouchi, rubbing his hands together.
"What does this button do?" quoted Honda happily.
Mokuba giggled. "I think that's the button that calls the Domino City Police in case we're attacked or get in a crash or something."
Jonouchi and Honda blinked at each other, and slowly backed away from the button.
"But!" said the preteen. "The blue one is pretty cool—no, to the left—yeah! That one!"
"Would you like to do the honors?" suggested Honda in a dignified tone – one that sounded suspiciously like it was mimicking Seto Kaiba.
Jou laughed and put on the same high air. "Why, thank you, sir Honda. I would be delighted."
That voice coming out of Jou's mouth was stranger than anything. Kaiba hardly managed to bite back a small laugh.
Jonouchi pressed the blue button.
"I still can't believe it. You managed to break the curtains," Mokuba laughed.
Honda rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Uh, I guess we shouldn't have messed with the button so much, huh?"
"But it was so cool!" Jou gestured with his hands enthusiastically as he spoke, eliciting giggles from Mokuba and raucous laughter from Honda. "I mean, the way the curtains went back and forth – zip, zop, zip, zop – man, that's neat."
"I'm glad that you're amused so easily," Seto said dryly, before remembering that he was supposed to be charming and cordial. He quickly struck up a smile – sincere enough to flatter the most temperamental of middle-aged businessmen – and attempted to save himself. "Although I'm surprised that you didn't go for the snacks immediately."
"There were snacks?" Honda and Jou chorused, amazed.
Wonderful. Speak of food, and the beasts are subdued – no, no, they're people too, and I'm going to date one of them – "Yes. I'll have to show you when we're finished here, won't I?"
"Speakin' of snacks," said Jou, "when are the appetizers going to come? We've been here for a good … uh …" He grabbed Honda's arm and twisted it to examine his watch. "… a good, long time," he finished lamely.
"It should be along soon," said Kaiba. Mokuba nodded.
"Well, whenever it comes, I know it'll be really good," assured Mokuba. "My brother and I have been here before, and the food is awesome."
"Cool," said Jou, a bit more subdued – Mokuba had reminded him whose company he was in. "So … uh …"
During the trip, Kaiba had comprised a mental list of subjects that he should avoid in order to foster good spirits. These included: Duel Monsters, Jou's sister, dogs, and pornographic videos.
He wasn't sure why he had felt the need to include the latter in the list, it being rather obvious to his straitlaced mind, but something in him had insisted.
At least he didn't attribute it to some voice inside of him. He had even told Mokuba once – if I start spouting gibberish about my having been a scantily clothed street dancer in Egypt, dear brother, please do me the service of drugging me, dragging my unconscious body into the Blue-Eyes White Jet prototype, and flying it into the nearest available body of water. Thank you very much. You're the best, Moki.
And another two to add to the list: anything having to do with Egypt or Yugi.
That left a grand total of three possibly interesting conversation topics.
Honda, Mokuba, and the project.
They all sat around the table. Jou fiddled with his napkin. Honda fingered the tablecloth, humming a nonsense tune. Mokuba sat.
Mokuba was a good boy.
Kaiba cleared his throat. "So, Honda, how are your classes?"
Honda looked up, startled – had Kaiba been talking to him? Then the question registered. "Um, they're pretty good, I guess. We had a test in … in …" He thought.
"English," supplied Jou. He turned to face Kaiba. "We had a test in English today. It was pretty tricky."
"What was the test on?"
Honda jumped in. "Oh, it was just review of some grammar stuff – you know, the tenses."
"But then, for the extra credit, she put down a bunch of really hard English words!" Jou added.
"Yeah," said Honda. Kaiba watched politely. "Oh, maybe you know this. How good are you at English, Kaiba?"
Don't smirk. Don't smirk. "I'm fluent," answered Kaiba. "Mokuba's still learning, though."
"Hey, I'm almost fluent!" protested Mokuba.
"I never said you weren't," said Seto.
"Anyway," said Honda. "Would you like me to ask you, Mokuba?"
"Yeah," said Mokuba. "Try me."
"What's the difference between 'continent' and 'incontinent'?"
Kaiba laughed. "Your teacher put that on a test?"
Jou frowned. "Why? What does it mean?"
"Wait, let me answer!" said Mokuba.
"All right, all right…" Honda sighed.
Mokuba's forehead furrowed; his lower lip jutted out in concentration. He appeared to be thinking deeply.
Kaiba knew better – Mokuba had no idea what the answer was, and he was about to make something up.
Mokuba straightened, and spoke in much the same air that Jou and Honda had been affecting earlier. "It's not that hard at all, Honda! 'Continent' is a large landmass, so 'incontinent' is simply a colloquialism that symbolizes one's inability to find oneself in a large crowd or place."
Honda and Jou gazed at Mokuba in awe. "Sounds good to me," said Jou.
Kaiba snickered.
"All right, smartass, what does it mean?" said Honda. He seemed to have forgotten whose company he was in. And, actually, that was what Kaiba wanted – for them to feel comfortable. He was succeeding.
A young, attractive man – I must use his body type in the game, thought Kaiba – came and set down a platter of appetizers.
"If you are 'incontinent', then you aren't able to control your own urination or defecation," said Kaiba. The young man looked up from the platter, startled.
Kaiba smiled. "Thank you, sir."
"Uh, enjoy yourselves," said the attractive young man.
He walked away quickly.
Their eyes followed him.
And then, when he was out of earshot, they all burst into laughter.
Even Kaiba.
And he felt a glow of self-satisfaction.
Honda had left to, as he put it, 'use the facilities'. Mokuba had followed him not too long after, after glancing at Seto and giving him a curiously snarky grin. That, of course, left him with Jou.
He would have to buy the kid a very yummy something later.
"Um," volunteered Jou.
He was fidgeting noticeably; the food on his plate had long since disappeared.
"Would you like dessert? I could call a waiter around," offered Kaiba.
Stomach, en route to heart. Sugar is the key to happiness. Plates of spaghetti and sticks of Pocky don't hurt either.
Kaiba had learned much from his extensive research.
Jou grinned. "Definitely. Let's wait until Honda and Mokuba get back, though."
"All right."
"You know…" began Jou. He trailed off.
"What?"
"Oh, nothing. Nothing." Jou waved his hand dismissively.
"It's all right. Tell me."
"It's nothing, really. Besides, if I told you, you might realize it."
Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "If you told me whatever it was, I would know it."
"Exactly," said Jou. "I'm not sure if I want you to know."
"Well, unless you tell me, I'm going to assume that you're sexually attracted to me and wish to do indecent things in public places," said Kaiba. He could hardly believe that he had said it, but then, Jou had that sort of sense of humor, didn't he?
Jou stared.
Kaiba smiled.
Finally, Jou laughed. "All right, then, I guess I'll tell you. Nothing could be worse than that."
Ouch.
Well, he would come around eventually.
"Go on, then," prompted Kaiba.
"Well, uh, you seem kind of … different today." Jou chuckled nervously. "I mean, you're not acting like a b – er, you're being kind of nice. Sort of."
"I try," said Kaiba dryly, guessing what word Jou would have said and not liking it.
"See? Not that important."
"Well, if you wanted to say it in the first place, it must have had some importance," said Seto. He leaned just a bit closer to Jou – act as though their words matter, be subtly flirtatious – and tilted his head to one side. "Is it a good change, then?"
He could imagine, without restrictions of modesty, what Jou saw – a young man, somewhat effeminate, no more than a few feet away from him; mahogany locks, carefully tended, straying to one side – a cultivated appearance, unintentionally betraying through the tilt of the head and clasp of the hands an underlying sexuality.
Perhaps the last part was a bit farfetched.
He sighed inwardly, realizing that the comics had affected him much more strongly than he had originally believed – a simple conversation, turned to a flowery description of his own appearance? What next? Would he abandon all pretense and simply arrive at school wearing a girls' uniform?
Then again …
… it was what the fangirls wanted.