Hope you all had a happy holiday season! I would have submitted this as a Christmas present... but it's sort of a un-present....
Warning: In which I am a horrible person.
Roxas couldn't stop staring at the empty bed before him.
He buried his face in Axel's chest, but he still saw it. An empty bed. A symbol of defeat. Of death.
Demyx, the ward's ray of sunshine, was dead.
XxX
"I'm going." Roxas decided.
"Roxas, honey, you can't go." His mother tried to explain, 'You're still sick. I-"
Dr. Lexaeus stopped her, "Maybe... it would be good to let him go. To say good-bye to his friend."
That seemed to decide it.
Xxx
Roxas walked beside Axel. The older red-head's hand firmly clutched in his fingers. He'd only been to one other viewing before, a grandfather he barely knew. Roxas thought he died of cancer, too. How strange.
Zexion walked before them, his shoulders hunched. The small boy looked beaten. He'd been kicked while he was down. Something was clenched in his hand, but from his position, Roxas couldn't see what it was.
As Zexion walked up to the casket, Axel and Roxas broke apart. Axel leading Roxas a head of him. The red-head's warm fingers grasped Roxas' shoulders. Zexion paid his final respects to his boyfriend's body and slipped his treasure into Demyx's cold fingers and scuttled off.
When he moved away, Roxas realized what Zexion had given the boy. Demyx's beloved mp3 player.
Tears welled up in Roxas' eyes, blurring his vision. That was good, though. He couldn't bare to look at Demyx's corpse. The fresh scar that cut into his skull. This gaunt skin. This twisted look of pain on his face. Dead people were supposed to look peaceful, damn it.
Roxas broke free of the line and collapsed onto a bench. Cupping his face in his hands, Roxas began to sob.
A few minutes later Axel sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around Roxas' thin shoulders. "It'll be ok, Roxy."
Roxas hated himself. He was being consoled at Demyx's funeral. Demyx, the son, grandson... boyfriend. But still he found himself sobbing, "I didn't get say good-bye! I didn't get to say sorry!"
"I know..." Axel pulled Roxas into his chest allowing the blond boy to cling to his shirt and cry. "I know, Roxas." He rubbed the blond boy's bad, "Sh...." He faltered, "I miss him, too." Axel buried his head in Roxas' hair. A few tears leaked out of his eyes. "Stupid ass, dying on us all. Who gave him permission to die?" He repeated it to himself, the anger bleeding out of his voice, "Who gave him permission to leave us?"
Xxx
Demyx's mother didn't want to start the actual funeral without Zexion. Roxas hadn't realized how close to Demyx's family was. But it made sense. Like her son, the woman wouldn't stand by when someone was suffering. It was almost like the bookworm was part of their family. The things you miss.
Needing a break from the funeral, Axel and Roxas offered to find him.
"Try the roof?" Axel asked.
"Bathroom. It's closer."
"Yeah. He thinks like me." Axel motioned to his prosthetic leg.
"Does it hurt?"
"No. Not really. Just a pain to get used to."
Roxas gritted his teeth, they were making small talk. Demyx was dead-- and about to be buried forever-- and they were making small talk. Roxas felt like crying again.
They almost missed the small boy. Zexion had curled up in a stall his feet up.
"Zexion, it's time for the funeral."
The bookworm uncurled, and allowed himself to be led off.
"Zex..." Roxas detached himself fro Axel and gave Zexion and awkward hug. The slate-haired teen didn't react. It was as if his emotions had died and shriveled up inside of himself. Like before Demyx had barged into his corner of the room. "I'm sorry..." What a dumb thing to say.
Zexion didn't answer. He staggered along as if in a stupor. One of Axel's arms was draped around his hunched shoulders, but he didn't seem to notice.
XxX
It was raining at the grave site.
As if the sky was mourning the loss of its sunshine as well.
People were invited to say a few words. Demyx's father mumbled a few words about what a good son Demyx had been. A few of Demyx's old friends stood and said a few awkward words, too. His old music teacher mumbled something about the loss of a great musician, as well.
But in the end, Roxas realized that's all they were. Word. No one could truly sum up Demyx's too short life. Or the agony of losing him too soon.
Roxas glanced over at Zexion, wondering if he too would try to do it justice. He didn't seem to have the heart to do so, for it was in the casket.
Slowly, Demyx's grave was filled in. But oddly enough with every shovelful of dirt dropped into Demyx's grave, the weight on Roxas' chest lifted some.
Demyx wasn't in pain anymore. He wouldn't have to suffer through any more terrifying seizures. Or anymore embarrassing tests. He'd get to float on clouds and listen to music all day long. He wouldn't have to worry anymore about what functions the cancer would steal from him next.
And best of all, Demyx would never lose his mp3 player again.
XxX
Axel spent the night in Roxas' bed. The two pressed as close together as they could in the tiny hospital bed.
The two didn't have to heart to wake up Zexion when he moaned Demyx's name. Roxas closed his eyes. He knew what those dreams were like. And how painful reality was when you woke up.
"Rox?"
"Yeah?"
"You know I'm going to be leaving here soon."
"I know."
"I'm going to come back to visit." Axel assured.
"Promise?"
"Hell yeah. What kind of boyfriend would I be?"
Boyfriend.
Roxas sort of liked the sound of that. It sort of eased the ache in his chest. He suspected that Demyx would have been happy for him.
No. Roxas knew that some where Demyx was happy for him.
Roxas buried his head face in Axel's chest. "Axel... I love you."
"I love you too, Roxas." He grinned, "Got it memorized?"
Roxas banged his fist against Axel's chest, "Stop saying that! You're ruining the moment!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
"No your not!" Roxas smacked Axel's chest a few more times, "Stop being and asshole!"
"Hey! You're the one who's abusing me! And is going to wake up Zexy!"
Roxas fell still, upset with himself.
Taking this opportunity, Axel whispered into Roxas' ear, "But I do love you."
That had a good sound to it too.
XxX
Roxas watched Axel rush around collecting the last of this things. His mother was trying to help him but only succeeded din getting in his way. Reno wasn't even making an attempt. Smart move.
"Axel, honey, we're supposed to be checking out!" His mother sounded exasperated, with good cause.
The red-head through a stack of back issues on the bed. "What the hell is this? A hotel?"
There was a rap on the door, and Lexaeus walked in, "Hello, just wanted to see how the discharge is going. From your neighbor's complaints, I take it not well."
Axel slapped a hand to the wall. "Thin walls. Won't believe what I've heard the neighbors doing."
Lexaeus blinked, "They're six."
"Oh... ok we were being loud."
The doctor nodded, "Alright, try to keep it down."
"That'll be tough for me." Axel replied.
"I know." Lexaeus shook his head and left the room.
Glancing around, Axel sighed, "Aw, screw it. Someone else can have my back issues."
"That might be wise." Axel's mother shifted.
"Ok. See you, Zex!" The slate-haired teen didn't look up, "See you, Roxy!" He kissed Roxas' check, "I'll be back soon-- to visit!"
Roxas smiled and waved. No way was Axel ever setting foot in the god forsaken place again.
:is shot:
So what did you think? One beta felt Demyx's death came out of left field and the other thought it was quite logical through a string of semi-logic (She knew someone was going to die. It couldn't be Roxas as he was the narrator, couldn't be Axel because he was Roxas' boyfriend, couldn't be Zexion because he was too sick, and because Zexion was the sickest it would have to be his boyfriend, Demyx. After the last chapter she basically came up to me and said 'Well now I know it's Demyx. You're a bastard.' See and you thought I was kidding about the prophetic dreams.)
So tell me what you think. And keep your fingers crossed for the last chapter!
:is shot again: