Disclaimer: (I OWN IT ALL! Don't I wish that was true...it's all Stephenie Meyer's)

woo-hoo...edwards point of view. enjoy. pleeeeease leave reviews.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The Volturi

I opened my eyes and saw her. I closed my eyes and saw her. When I ran the blur around me formed into her face. Wherever I went, whoever I was with I saw her. The burn in my chest was becoming a reminder. I was a vampire, I wasn't suppose to feel anything, yet whenever I saw her it hurt. Physically I was in pain. Even now that I had come to Europe and accepted my invitation to the Volturi I still felt the burn. It was all a lie. A cheap trick to add me to his team of "gifted ones" as he called us. Aro knew drinking human blood wouldn't cure me. Deep down I probably knew that too, but I'd wanted it. Now their blood sang to me. Lured me to their warm necks. I could hear the pumping in my ears and I liked it.

…

Two weeks ago…

She was walking slowly towards me. This was not a good sign. I told her that I wouldn't stay in the way of her choice, but I never figured she would have actually picked the dog. Would she? Why was she walking so slow?

"Edward, there's something I need to tell you". Oh no. My jaw locked and my body tensed. I was not letting this happen. How could she let this happen? I extended my arm and placed my hand on her shoulder. It was warm.

"Edward", she said again. "I made up my mind…and I chose Jacob". What! I was in disbelief yet I kept my calm. Could she really be doing this? Could she really pick…Jacob. The name felt like fire in my ears. Images of him holding her ran through my mind. I took my hand off her shoulder. I was going to have to let her go. I had to.

"Are you positive this is what you want?" I had to ask. Maybe there was some hope she would say no and that she really wanted me. That this was some sort of cruel joke. What was I kidding myself, Bella didn't make cruel jokes. She looked into my eyes and answered.

"Yes". I felt a burn in my chest. She was leaving me and I was letting her! If this was going to be the last time I'd see her then I was going to make it good. I bent my head down and kissed her forehead. My nose filled with her sweet sent, intoxicating my every being. In that moment I took a hold of her neck and pulled her to me. She seemed willing so I leaned in for the kiss. My free hand slid down to her back. Her skin was so familiar to me now. Soft and warm. Sensual. I traced her skin with my fingers. She limped into my arms and seemed almost lost in the moment. Like I was. Our lips met by a fraction of an inch when the noise came. Coming from the woods howled the reminder of my loss. I had lost Bella and now the dog was claiming his prize. He didn't deserve her love. Nobody could feel for her like I did. She made me feel almost human when I was with her and there was no other love to compare to my gratitude. She brought me to life. I took a step back breaking the hold I was all too accustomed to. I had to do this for her, because I loved her I had to do this. I kissed her cheek.

"I will always love you Bella Swan". Then I was gone. The taste of her breath lingering on my lips. I ran as far as possible before I stopped. Digging my foot into the earth I turned back facing the clearing in which she had stood. I thought about going back, but I didn't. I would suffer for her. I would be alone for Bella. I closed my eyes and ran.

…

Present day…

When I think about her I thrist. Sometimes I imagine myself on top of her sinking my teeth into her neck. It scares me. Could I actually do that? Could I really kill the one I loved? Questions swarmed within my head and the only person who could help was hundreds of miles away. Carlisle would have known what to do. But I couldn't go back. Joining the Volturi and killing innocent humans was going just too far. He would have expected more of me. I would have expected more of me. Then I heard someone. Thinking.

Oh please Edward. Grow up and move on. I was going to kill her. The door to my room opened and she swept in as if she owned the place.

"Go away Jane". She pouted and continued closing the distance between the door and my chair.

"Why do you have to be like that Edward? You know I only look out for you". I put down my book.

"Jane you couldn't possibly care for anyone else other than yourself if your life depended on it". She stopped.

"I care for you Edward". I hated it when she did this. With a smug look I responded.

"Why don't you go stand by Aro's side like a good little dog". She quickly lost her flirty attitude.

"Why would I do that when you have so much more experience with dogs…I mean didn't you make friends with one". She was pure evil. Worse than Aro himself. "Or did that all sour when you're precious human chose him over you?" I was truly going to kill her. "Kind of makes you wonder if she ever really loved you". I slammed the book on the table and stood up against her. She hesitated for a second, but only for one. Instantly I felt sharp pain running through my body. It became unbearable. She placed her hands on my shoulders and ran her fingers along my arms. "You know Edward, you really need to learn to relax. It would be better for your health". She intensified the pain, her eyes glowing with pride. Apparently in the past few months she had learned how to perfect her power. She could hurt me without even seeing me. Sometimes I would wake from deep contemplation to the pain. Ceasing all thought I previously held. When it was about Bella I welcomed it, but this was just cruel. This was Jane being herself. I heard her thoughts screaming into my head. Edward you need to get over her, this is exceeding pathetic. I could be so much more for you than she ever was. I could be your Bella! She had no right! She was not allowed to ever say or think her name. I could feel her death on my hands.

"You are going to leave my room Jane. You are going to get the hell away from me and you are going to stay away. This would be wise to your health". She stepped back with surprise. Wincing an evil glare she flipped her hair, turned her heal and jolted out the door. Finally some peace and quite. I sat back into the chair and retrieved my book. Then the pain kicked in. She couldn't just leave, she had to have the last word. Whatever. I didn't care. At least it distracted me.