Disclaimer: (I want to own Jacob, I really do...but I don't and I cry every night because of it)

hey guys...jacob is back!
but there is something else that could be more important coming soon
trust me, you'll hate me after the next chapter
peace love review

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Hard Truths

Either the blood got to me or the fact that I was a girl caused it, but I fainted. Everything was black. It was defiantly the blood. When I woke I was in Jacobs bed and he was sitting in a chair next to me.

"How long have I been out?" He turned his gaze to me.

"About forty minutes". He glanced at me, but chose to keep his focus on the floorboards. "Why was Edward there?" I knew he'd ask this, but the truth was I really didn't know. I guess he had always been there. Every flash of red I'd seen clearly had to have been him. His eyes had been watching me for a long time.

"I don't know". I did know, he was there for me. He knew what I was doing and I knew he'd come. It was the only way. I'd been lying to myself.

"Bella I need to know why your were at the cliff". He stood up and started pacing the room, not moving his eyes from the floor. "I need to know why you'd do that?" He stopped and looked up at me. His eyes seemed hurt and pleading. "Don't you love me?" I did not expect this question, but I knew the answer.

"Yes, I love you". He dropped his gaze and look intently towards his feet.

"But not as much as you do Edward". I got out of the bed and stood in front of him. I placed my hands on his neck, he turned to look away but I steered him back.

"No Jacob, just differently than Edward". His expression didn't change. "I loved Edward, but I love you". His eyes met mine.

"Then why would you go to the cliff? If anything had happened to you…I don't even know what I'd do. Bella, I need you". I saw it in his eyes that it was the truth. He needed me like I needed him. He was my second half. Without both what would life be?

"I need you too Jacob". I embraced him. He held me for a sort while then kissed the top of my head.

"I'm tired Bella". I nuzzled my head into his chest.

"I'm tired too Jacob". He clutched on to me tighter.

"No Bella. I'm tired. Things are getting…hard. This shouldn't be so hard"

"Tell me about it. I had to spend time with Charlie I got so desperate".

"Well that's not so bad"

"It is when he ditches you for a girlfriend". Jacob smiled.

"It's good that he's dating". He kissed my cheek and let me go into the blankets of his bed. He climbed up next to me and held me close. He murmured as he drifted off to sleep. "I really do love you Bella. I really do". I pushed back his hair and laid my head against his. Instantly I had forgiven him for his lack of presence. I figured I would have been riled with fury, but I wasn't. Not having Jacob was not an option. I needed him, so I forgave him.

"I love you too Jacob". He was asleep.

…

I woke up caught in a giant bear hug. I tried to twist my way out, but Jacobs arms were immovable around my body. I took in a deep breath with defeat. My nose caught the sent of pine and earth. Jake's scent was always comforting to me, but right now it had no effect. Edward was on my mind. Where was he? What did Seth do with him? There was no way that I wasn't questioning Jake when he woke up, but first I had to go to the Cullen's. They had to know. As soon as Jake loosened his grip I snuck out of the blanket. Tiptoeing out the door I peered at Jacob, he was in a sleep coma, tiptoeing not necessary. I shut the door and headed down the hallway, grabbing my coat along the way I stepped out the front door and quickly noticed something that wasn't there. Jacob hadn't brought it back! I turned around and ran back in the house heading straight for Jacob's room. I opened his door and ripped the blanket from him.

"Where's my truck Jacob!" He reluctantly woke and gave me a look of hurt. I didn't care. "Jacob where is my truck!" He pursed his lips.

"It's not here Bella". Clearly, I thought.

"Then were is it!?" He sat up in the bed.

"You don't need to run after him". I burst into tears, clinging onto the blanket.

"I do Jacob, he needs me!"

"Bella-". I came up to him and started frantically punching his chest. He just took it.

"He needs me Jacob!". He held my arms from their motion. More for the protection of my hands than for himself.

"No he doesn't. I need you". I stopped all movement and stood still.

"Not as much as he does. Did you see him!" His eyes dropped.

"I saw him"

"Then can't you see?" He grabbed a hold of me and embraced into a hug.

"It's not him Bella, Edward is gone". I refused to hear this.

"No Jacob! No he's not…he's still my Edward!" After saying this I quickly realized my mistake. Jacob got up off the bed. "No Jacob!". He went through the door and left the room. I ran after him. "Jacob no! I didn't mean it. I love you! I love you!" He stopped and turned around to face me.

"Stop trying to convince yourself Bella. If you really want that dirty bloodsucker over me then have him". He said this all without emotion.

"That's not fair Jacob!"

"He's a murderer and you still protect him! How could I possibly compete Bella?! How could I win?"

"Jacob it's not a game to win. I chose and I chose you!" He turned back to the door.

"Well…I've un-chosen you. Go back to that….that monster". He walked through the door and was gone. I ran out to catch him, but only caught a glimpse of a wolf running into the woods. I'd messed up. I'd messed up bad.