Chapter 8

Kahlan awoke slowly, too groggy to move. Her bones hurt and she realized she was lying on the floor. It seemed a mighty effort to lift her head. She put her fingers to her face, feeling the imprint of the carpet and noting its sting. The embers of the fire long cold, she felt a chill in her bones. She blinked trying to focus her mind.

A cold wave washed over her as she realized Richard's return had been only a dream: A blissful, horrible dream. She lay on the floor of her room just as she had after running from him…after she'd sent him away. But it seemed so real…how could it have been just a dream? She put a hand to her chest and looked down at her dress fully buttoned and in tact. Her eyes darted about the room. She longed for sleep to take her again and closed her eyes reliving the vivid scenes in her mind. She could feel Richard's soft touch on her skin, the heat of his passion in his kiss, the fire within him as he'd made love to her. But it hadn't been real. Kahlan berated herself, of course it was only a dream; Richard hadn't been affected by her power. She was a Confessor; her dreams were the only place such a thing could happen, the only place she could ever be with the man she loved.

The pain of it all flooded her. She had sent him away and it had broken her heart. She knew she had broken his heart as well. Would he ever forgive her? She once again saw the look in his eyes when she'd told him to go. They had lost all life and warmth, reflecting only pain. She had cried herself to sleep over what she'd done, over what she would never have. She longed now for the relief of tears shed in agony but she had none left…all that remained was pain.

She was the last known living Confessor. She alone would carry on the line of Confessors or they would be forever lost. She never felt more alone.

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Richard rode hard through the night. The animal under him lathered at the mouth but he didn't stop. Though headed in the direction of Zedd and Cara, he wasn't really sure if that's where he was going. All he knew was he couldn't stop moving…if he stopped he would think…he would feel. He never wanted to feel again. It took every ounce of him to focus on staying atop the horse. Kahlan's words reverberated though his mind: "I'm the last of the Confessor's. I have to continue the line – I can't do that if you're here." Richard shook his head with a growl trying to strip the memory from this mind. Her voice persisted, "I wanted you to kiss me and never stop." Rushing through the night, Richard cried out with rage at what he would never have, at what Kahlan was forced to do.

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Kahlan made her way to the prison cell where Edan was being held. She didn't see any reason to put it off. She would honor the Liberation Treaty the prisoner had requested. Without Richard, her life was over; she didn't care what happened now. She had washed her face and changed back into her usual Confessor's dress, never again wanting to see the elegant dress she had worn to the banquet, the dress she had worn for Richard.

Her steps were quick through the halls of the palace. Most of the servants faded into the shadows as she passed, though some stayed in the light, anxious to see the Mother Confessor as she passed by. Kahlan took no notice, her mind focused on the duty before her.

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Zedd had been surprised when Richard first arrived, alone. The wizard at first feared the worst…had Richard not gotten Kahlan back to Aydindril in time to drink from the Fountain of Spirits? But Richard's hard demeanor and terse words of explanation had been enough to let Zedd know that although Kahlan survived, it was scarcely a better outcome.

Now, Zedd walked by his grandson's side, each holding the reigns to their horses following behind. Richard had been quiet these last few days, his mind consumed with thoughts of Kahlan, thoughts that threatened to choke the breath from him.

"Zedd, what happens when a Confessor takes a mate? I mean, is there some sort of a ceremony? A wedding?" Richard was torturing himself with images of Kahlan declaring, if not her love, at least her dedication and commitment to another man.

Zedd felt sympathy for his grandson and answered him as gently as possible. "No. It's all rather informal, really. The Confessor simply 'declares' the man as her mate before two witnesses and then the man is confessed. If he has wealth, it becomes the property of the Aydindril treasury. Though mindless, he would be treated with some deference by others just for being mate to the Mother Confessor and father of her chil-." He stopped himself, though too late.

It didn't matter, Richard was no longer hearing the old man, fully engulfed by the ever present black cloud, he spiraled deeper into his thoughts.

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