I don't own any of these characters; they are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I am just fooling around with them ;)
Chapter five. Alone at last.
We walked in silence for a while and I could feel a charge growing in the air between us As we approached a small wooded glade with a few large moss covered boulders in the corner, Carlisle stopped and turned to me.
"So. Let us talk for a while. Shall we?" he motioned to the natural benches the rocks formed in the corner of the clearing, so we went to them and sat down. Carlisle sat on my left and inclined his body towards me. I could smell his beautiful scent, more intense now than the way I remembered it. It was intoxicating. As I looked into his eyes, I felt again, as I had the first time our eyes met, that I was looking into his very soul, and the connection, that I had longed to feel again for all of my life, from the day I met him, was there, stronger and more intense than that first encounter. I don't know how long we sat, looking inside of one another, it could have been a portion of a second or a century, I didn't care. All I cared about was that I knew that it was real. That I hadn't imagined it. Or magnified its intensity in my foolish daydreams. He raised his hand and placed it on my cheek. I felt like flames of pleasure had burst to life inside my stomach, a heat starting in my toes and rushing over my body made me shiver involuntarily.
"I can't stand it any longer, you have to tell me if you want to stay with me, and live in my way! What have you chosen Esme? Can you live this half life, never fully sating your thirst?" he asked, and he looked at his hands. He seemed anxious about my reply.
"Yes, I have made a choice. I know how I want to spend my…is life the right word?" I wondered.
"It will suffice." He smiled at my confusion.
"Right. Life then. I have decided how I want to spend my life." I paused, searching his eyes for a clue that he wanted the same future as me. I threw all caution to the wind and plunged forward, laying my heart and emotions bare.
"I want to spend it with you. I want to be with you, Carlisle. I know you feel it too, we have something, some special bond. When your skin is touching mine I feel complete, I spent every moment of my pitiful existence before I…died, waiting for you to come back and take me away from my hell on earth. I fell in love with you that day. In the hospital. And it broke my heart when you went away. I never got over you. But now, now that I'm here with you, its healed again, even if it isn't beating anymore, I feel more alive now I'm with you than I've felt since the second you said goodbye. And ill do whatever it takes. Feed on whatever it takes to stay with you." A dry sob burst from my chest when I finished speaking, I was overcome with emotion, I was shaking with the tears I could not shed. I had gotten to my feet as I was talking and I put my hands over my face and tried to regain my composure. In an instant, he was beside me, moving my hands from my face and pulling me into his embrace. He kissed the top of my head, and hushed me until I stopped shaking. Then he took my face in his hands and gazed into my eyes again.
"I'm sorry…I just…" I stammered.
'Its ok, every emotion and sense is a little heightened right now, you'll be just fine." He soothed.
"Esme, If I live forever, I will never forgive myself for not checking up on you, and making sure you were happy and safe. I thought that one such as you, So beautiful, kind and pure, would only have a wonderful life full of joys and happiness that I could never have given you." He dropped his hands from my face and touched my hair tenderly, before taking my hands in his and continuing. "You told me, that night, in the hospital. You said "I want to get married, have lots of babies and make our home the most beautiful home in the state!" how could I take those dreams from you? A child is something I could never give you." He paused and stared off into the middle distance for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully before speaking again.
"As vampires, we are a little like living stone, basically un-changing. Sometimes in our existence, something can happen to make a change. A shock or a strong emotion, and when that happens, its permanent. There's no going back. When I laid eyes on you, I felt something shift inside me, as though my silent heart had tried to burst back into life. I should have left then. But I was so intrigued by you. I couldn't stay away. As we talked, that night, I knew that every second I stayed near you, I was a step closer to becoming the monster I always worked so hard to suppress. I was lonely, you see, I so wanted a companion, someone who could know who I really was and share eternity with me. And when I saw you and began to feel drawn to you, a more powerful feeling than I had ever experienced in all my 260 years. I wanted to keep you. But to do it, would have meant taking your life. So, I made up my mind to leave sooner than I had planned, to go before I caused you any pain, or took your life, but at the last moment I was drawn back to you again. After I had said goodbye to you, I watched from a distance for a while, to be sure you were ok, but the pull of you was too much to bear, I knew that I would weaken and take your life away in the end, so I went away and stayed far from Columbus, I tried to forget. Not easy for a vampire, and the loneliness I had felt before was ten fold. In the aftermath of our meeting. I distracted my self with more study, and then when the epidemic came, I was always busy, and I tried to carry on as before. But I was emptier than ever before. It was during that epidemic that I met Edward, and his mother Elizabeth. She had guessed, I think, what I was. What I could do. And she begged me to save Edward, not to let him slip away. I acted on impulse, a few hours after she herself had succumbed to the fever,I took him from the hospital, I knew that in the confusion of the epidemic he would not be missed, and I carried him home over the rooftops. I changed him and taught him when he was a newborn. He is a son to me now. The son I never got the chance to have." He smiled as he thought of him. I was struck by how perfect and beautiful he was…angelic. I desperately wanted to reach out and touch him.
"But still, I was incomplete, there was a hole inside me that only you could fill. But I resigned myself to living without you. Content that you were living a full and happy life, pleased that I had not weakened, and taken your life away. And then, I found you. Lying there, on a gurney, your body was battered and broken but I didn't need to look at you to know it was you. I would have known the scent of you anywhere. As I stood in the doorway, a Crushing grief swept over me, my Esme, dead. In the morgue of Ashland hospital. I thought I had missed my chance. I couldn't believe I had let you be, so you could have a good, long happy life, only for it to be over so suddenly and violently. But the grief at your passing had distracted me, made me inattentive and it took me a second to realize that your scent was the scent of living blood, not dead. You were not dead. I entered the room, and easily found you, I took a closer look and I could hear your heart beat. They must have believed you dead, to have brought you here, to the morgue. Your heartbeat was weak, but my vampire hearing was strong.. You were on the very brink of death to be sure, but I knew if I could get you out of there, and get my venom into you while your heart was still drumming out its quiet dirge, then I could save you and maybe, you would want to stay with me, and start the life that I couldn't give you before. It seemed so perfect. My previous reluctance to take your life meant nothing. Now I was saving you. Giving you a new life. Not stealing away your chance at a happy future."
"You really want to start a life with me? But I don't understand, you've been so distant. But...you like me? " I asked.
"Of course I like you. So much more than that. I only kept my distance because I didn't want you to choose my way of life for the wrong reasons, or because you felt that you owed me something. I have been desperate to touch you from the moment you woke up!" He put his arms around me as he sad this, and kissed my head again. "Esme, I have loved you from the first second I saw you, I never believed it was possible for us to be together, I too, am whole again now you are with me, you have my heart, utterly, completely. It is yours. I'm sorry if I worried you, but I know how overwhelming this can all be, I wanted to give you a chance to find your feet before I put any pressure on you." He smiled down at me.
" I love you, too." I said and smiled back. The words seemed trite, not enough. Our eyes held and before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine, he kissed me with an urgency that could only be the build up of a decade's worth of longing. I kissed him back, savoring the feel of his lips on mine, his hands tangled in my hair and I knew that if my heart were beating now it would be flying, the warmth in my center was building and as my hands roamed his firm arms and chest, I could feel how strong and hard his body was and I knew he would take care of me forever. He pulled away from me then and looked into my eyes.
"I have waited so long for you. But now we are together, I was never whole until this day. You have given me new hope Esme, and I am going to do everything in my power to give you the life that you deserve. We have eternity to make up for the time that we missed. We can be together forever… if that is your wish."
"Yes, it is my wish. I want you to be with me always." I told him. And then, he kissed me again. Our lips moving together, the taste of him, the feel of his skin against mine intoxicated me, his hands caressing my arms and back. I felt the electricity from his fingers, blazing trails on my skin. It was several moments before he broke the kiss and looked down into my eyes again.
"Lets go home" he said, and took my hand so that we could run back to the house. It took moments, and we were entering the small dwelling where I had awakened to my new life.
He took my hand and led me up a flight of stairs to a room I hadn't been in before, and as I looked around at the boxes of belongings and piles of medical journals stacked up awaiting packing, I realized that this was his room. There was a large bed in the corner, of the room, still with cushions and blankets strewn across it, and an open book lying face down, as though the reader, in favour of some other activity, had discarded it. He didn't speak to me. He just took my hand and led me over to the bed. We stood next to it, looking at each other for a few seconds. The tension was palpable, and although I wanted him, so much it was almost painful, I was a little apprehensive, after all, the only experience I had ever had of being near a bed with a man in this way, was an unhappy and painful one. I was unsure what to expect. He seemed to sense my hesitation, and he raised his hand to run a finger from the bottom of my ear, to the base of my throat, his touch causing that hot trembling feeling in the pit of my stomach to return. He moved his hand down to my waist, never breaking eye contact, and pulled me towards him, putting his other hand into my hair. When he kissed me again, there was a new edge to it. An urgency that was not present in the clearing before. I put my arms around him, running my fingers over his muscular physique beneath his light shirt. His mouth opened slightly, and I felt his tongue gently exploring my mouth. Our bodies were crushed together and I could feel his arousal pressing against me. I pushed my body closer to him, until there was no space between us. He seemed to approve of this and his hand moved to the base of my spine pulling me closer still. He moved the attention of his lips to my throat, and gently kissed the small crescent shaped scar that his teeth had left me when he had given me this new life. The thought, made the feeling at my centre intensify, and I rubbed my body against him, there was some kind of pressure building inside me, not like any feeling I had ever experienced before, but it was the kind of feeling that I needed more of. It was making me feel a little lightheaded and reckless, I lowered my hand to his taut buttock and pulled him against me, he let out a small sigh of pleasure, and his hand suddenly traveled down my back over my buttock and down to my thigh, he hitched my leg up so that my center was pushing against his hardness, and my skirts rode up to expose my leg, he slid his hand beneath the flimsy material and began to caress my skin. The friction created by the fabric of his trousers against my soft flesh was making it harder for me to stay focused and when he began to whisper my name in my ear, over and over, telling me of his love for me and how much he wanted me, it became too much to bear, the pressure inside me was building, hot and tingling, I needed him closer still, and tried to pull him towards the bed, and suddenly I was in his arms, as he lifted me onto the bed, he was beside me instantly and his lips were on mine again. My hands began to fumble with his belt, I wanted to feel his skin against mine, and he seemed to understand my want, and slid my dress over my shoulder. After a few moments of struggling with the fastenings, he simply ripped the garment from my body, and then removed his own clothes, in the same fashion, throwing the ruined pile of different fabrics across the room. And then we were skin to skin. We lay on our sides gazing at each other, exchanging small, tender kisses, his fingers trailing up and down my side, and my fingers memorizing every inch of his toned, hard chest. Very slowly and very gently his fingers began to stray towards my center, I leaned towards him to make sure he knew that this was what I wanted, and then he rolled me over onto my back and propped himself up above me, so that he could continue to kiss me but could reach more of my skin. I didn't feel self conscious or scared, just excited, and utterly, blissfully happy. His fingers traced a circle around my knee, and then slowly trailed upwards towards my center. I wanted him to touch me there. I parted my legs slightly, and rolled my hips a little, and he understood instantly, his lips suddenly intensified on mine, as his fingers found the warm wetness between my legs, his fingers softly exploring the wet folds, I jumped slightly, as a jolt of electricity shot through me, as his searching fingers found the bud of nerve endings nestled in those folds. It was a feeling of pure pleasure and a small moan escaped my lips, I searched for him with my hand and lifted my leg up to hook it over his hip, the feeling of his exploring fingers was the most intense sensation I had ever experienced, and the pressure continued to grow and pulse deep inside my body. I wanted more of him and I ground my hips onto his fingers, urging him to go deeper inside me. Again he understood, and thrust a finger deep inside me, and began to move it in circles, thrusting it deeper, making my head spin. I found his hard length with my fingers and began to pull him to me guiding him towards my body, I wanted, no, I needed to feel him inside me. When the tip of his cock was touching my entrance, he rolled me slightly so that he was on top of me, gazing down into my eyes. I couldn't stand the absence of his fingers inside me. I needed more of him. He nudged my legs farther apart and I lifted my ankles to hook them around the back of his knees, and I wrapped my arms around his waist and urged him to come closer, the tip of his cock teasing me, The languid pressure in my groin building to a fever pitch. I bucked my hips towards him, desperate to feel his hardness inside me.
"I love you, Esme, I want you to marry me." He whispered, and before I had a second to answer or even process his words, he pushed into me, and I felt a slight burning sensation as he filled me up, a small groan escaped his lips, and then he was kissing me again, the feeling of his lips on mine and his hard cock inside me, as we rocked together in a gentle rhythm, had the pressure in my center building and building, For a few moments, I felt as though I was frozen in time, the intense feeling building, as it spread out from the point where our bodies became one, and it was the most wonderful thing I'd ever felt, I was overcome with emotion and heat and love as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me, my hips bucking underneath him and my fingernails digging into his back and his ass, pulling him, deeper and deeper, his hips moving against me as he ground himself, deeper, into me, I felt as though we were the same person as he bucked and trembled in his own climax. Gradually our movements slowed and we kissed each other back down to earth. We rolled back over onto our sides, our fingers still caressing, our bodies still joined. Every inch of available skin touching. I felt a pang of sadness that it was over so soon, I wanted so much more, but then I remembered his words, and I realized I hadn't answered him yet. I looked up into his beautiful golden eyes, and smiled at him, His answering smile was dazzling, filled with happiness and contentment.
"I love you, Carlisle, and Yes I will marry you." I told him and I could hear the insuppressible grin in my voice.
"Thank you." He said and kissed me again. And where our bodies were still joined, dimming embers began to glow stronger again, and we melted into each other once more.