Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji is not mine and will never be

Pairing: Sebastian x Ciel

Rating: T

Warnings: BoyxBoy, violence

Sorry for the very very very very late update but I've been so busy with school since I had my test week and after that I've had all the Christmas stuff and so~

So please enjoy the fic! :D And Merry Christmas to all of you! Plus, special LOVE for all my reviewers 3

--

Chapter 3

Ciel swore he could hear a voice calling his name. It was a voice which was very familiar to Ciel, but yet he hadn't got a single idea whose voice it was. That voice was hypnotising him, enchating him into doing whatever it commanded. And it commanded him to wake up.

As Ciel's eyes shot wide open, he realised it was Sebastian's voice. The said butler was sitting on the bed, right beside him, and staring at him, an amused smile playing on his lips.

"Good morning, young master. It seems that you have finally woken up." Sebastian looked like he was in a good mood, but Ciel expected it to be a part of his mask, a part of his duty as a butler. But it was something weird and sparkly about Sebastian this specific morning, the demon's smile was radiating and those eyes looked as red as they could look. Sebastian wasn't definitely sparkly and radiating in a good way. The way he was looking at Ciel made the teen feel uncomfortable and in a way, so helpless and vulnerable. Damn, that lust was back in Sebastian's eyes.

Unable to answer Sebastian with words since he was sure the demon had sucked all his voice away, Ciel nodded. After a moment of hesitation he sat up and got off the bed. He turned his back to Sebastian and began to strip his pajamas, nowadays he did the changing himself since it felt embarassing to stand naked in front of his butler who had the perfect looks and the assumingly the perfect body. Not that Ciel knew, or even wanted to know.

"Prepare my breakfast for me. I'll eat in the dining room this morning. You may leave, Sebastian."

Silence. Ciel knew Sebastian was standing behind him and that butler wasn't moving an inch. The boy frowned, irritation starting to build up in his veins.

"As I said, you may leave, Sebastian."

Ciel could almost hear Sebastian smirking. The boy slammed his hands on the wooden bedside table hard. And yet Sebastian didn't say anything or more importantly, move. Ciel closed his eyes and tried to control his anger. He knew that an argument with Sebastian would lead nowhere and he'd lose. He didn't know what Sebastian was capable of doing, and the memory of last night made him shiver. It wasn't something he wanted to happen again.

When the teen was on the verge of insanity, Sebastian walked to him and softly embraced him. Ciel's eyes widened in shock and started to tremble. He could feel Sebastian's breath on his neck and the butler's hands over his hips. This time they were just preventing him from falling, not raping him with those long fingers.

"If that is your wish, I will leave, young master. But I will always come back for you if you call for me. I am your loyal servant after all." Sebastian swirled his tongue around Ciel's left earlobe and squeezed his left thigh. Ciel hadn't even realized when Sebastian had moved his hands so close to his crotch.

"Well please leave then. Stop humiliating me, Sebastian." The butler stopped licking Ciel's earlobe and nuzzled his neck instead. Ciel was sure his heart skipped a beat when the butler did that.

Before letting go, Sebastian pushed something into Ciel's pocket. As the butler walked away and closed the door, Ciel searched for the object in his pocket. It turned out to be a white handkerchief which was folded nicely. When he opened it, he saw the message written on it:

'Your pretending and refusal isn't able to stop my intentions, young master'

Sighing, Ciel folded the handkerchief and placed it on his lap. Sebastian could be so possessive when he wanted. He lifted the white piece of cloth up and took a closer look at the handkerchief.

There was another message on it:

'Is it really humiliation when someone holds you?'

Ciel swore he knew why Sebastian was a demon. A human couldn't possibly make another feel as guilty, unnatural and bad through a small phrase on a handkerchief as a demon could.

--

"Young master, there is a phone call for you."

Great, it was probably Elizabeth or someone else as annoying. Ciel had enough problems without his fiancé.

"I'm coming."

Before he could reach the phone, he heard his worst nightmare screaming. No one had a similar voice to hers, so Ciel was sure it was Elizabeth calling him. The young lady seemed to be angry, which made Ciel's day even better.

"Ciel Phantomhive."

"Hello Ciel! Do you know what you've forgot?"

He sighed and tried to cope with that annoying woman.

"MY RING! You better bring it to me tonight or else I'll never forgive you! How could you be so mean to an innocent maiden like me? Shame on you, Ciel. I really don't know--"

Once Elizabeth started to pick on someone, it never ended, so Ciel had gotten used to it. He never paid attention to her screaming and picking, her voice almost made his ears bleed.

"--I've decided on our wedding day. Ciel Phantomhive, are you listening to me?!"

Ciel woke up from his light dormancy.

"Yes, Elizabeth, I am listening to you. I hope that you've chosen a summer day, winter or spring is fine too but I have to ask you to forget autumn. There is something I--"

"It's on October 17th, dear Ciel! Isn't it wonderful, we will be married in three weeks!"

"October 17th? But that day is.. Elizabeth, you simply can't choose that day! I forbid you!"

"But whyyyyy, Ciel dear? I want to be one of those Autumn brides like my best friend Cecily. And October 17th is one week before my birthday, so it's convenient. Plus, number 17 is my lucky number! You simply can't steal a maid's happiness, can you Ciel Phantomhive?"

He couldn't tell Elizabeth that on October 17th he made the contract with Sebastian. Elizabeth didn't know that Sebastian was a demon, and Ciel would never tell her. Neither could he lie that October 17th was the day his parents died, because it wasn't and Lizzie knew that.

"What about September 17th then? Or November 17th? I will not agree on that date."

"No! September is way too summer-like for me and November is cold and disgusting. I don't want any other date than October 17th!"

"Elizabeth, that is not--"

"I am rich as you know, and your Funtom company is very depending on my money, so if you want to keep your business and your mansion, not to talk about money and servants, especially butlers, listen to what I say. You wouldn't want a complete loss, would you Ciel?"

Her overly-sweet voice sounded sickening in Ciel's ears. He knew he had no choice but to agree.

"Fine, Elizabeth. You shall have your October 17th but don't expect me to treat you specially or to smile at all. You have let me down, and I won't forget this easily. I'll bring you your ring tonight. Goodbye"

For a second he wondered if he'd been too harsh towars Lizzie, but he abandoned that thought. To get married on 'his and Sebastian's day'? It wasn't as if he was married to Sebastian or was together with that demon, but yet he felt so guilty. He was property of Sebastian and he was sure the demon wasn't going to forgive him on this one. Cold sweat was running down his neck and he shivered. Ciel had no idea how he'd explain this to Sebastian.

--

"Sebastian, bring me my coat and my cane." Sebastian bowed to him and brought him the things he asked for. The butler helped Ciel to put on his black coat.

"May I ask where young master is going this late?"

"To deliver Elizabeth's ring since she wished to recieve it today. And at the same time, I'm going for a walk."

Sebastian smiled at him and nodded.

"Have a safe trip, young master."

As the young master left the mansion, Sebastian was left wondering what Ciel's true intentions were. He couldn't get far, escaping was out of question. Sebastian smirked. No matter how far away young master would travel, Sebastian could always find him.

--

Ciel was taking a shortcut to Elizabeth's house through a forest. It was dark outside and thousands of stars were in sight. The full moon shone on the path Ciel was walking on and created black shadows. The scenery was very beautiful and even magical, but he didn't pay much attention to it.

All he could think of was the wedding date disaster and Sebastian. The things which happened the other night and that day ran through his head and he couldn't chase them away.

What would the demon do when he found about the date? Ciel knew he would get punished but he didn't know how and how bad the punishment would be. Sebastian's brainwashing and emotional torturing was in its own class, the tiny bits Ciel had got to know when Sebastian was angry were only a beginning.

Maybe if he lied to the demon and would have a secret ceremony somewhere far away? No, Sebastian would find them anyway. Maybe he should just tell Sebastian? The consequences could be even worse if he told him. It was so hard to think of a good solution and Ciel couldn't make up a single good idea.

The boy frowned deeply as he slowly walked on the path which was lit by moonlight. The only sound heard came from Ciel's cane as he walked.

He was sure that someone followed him. They were more than one according to their steps, and quite surely kids since they didn't have talent at all when it came to making their steps noiseless. Ciel sighed, he really didn't want to deal with some kids right now.

"I know you are following me. Step out of the shadows."

As he turned around, in front of him were standing four young boys. The eldest of them was about Ciel's age and the youngest looked about fourteen. If those kids wanted to harm Ciel, he couldn't defend himself alone. Only Sebastian could help him then.

He definitely wouldn't ask help from Sebastian.

"What is it you want from me? I am in a hurry so please make it quick."

The expression on their faces changed from neutral to pure hate and disgust. Ciel could see, and even more feel their hate, and it made him shiver.

"It depends on you how long this will take, watchdog. So you pretend that you don't know? Hah! It's too late to act innocent now.." The eldest kid took a few steps towards Ciel, glaring at him.

Ciel frowned. Those kids.. he'd never seen them before and he was sure he had nothing to do with them. So why..?

"Tell me what I've done. I doubt any of it is true, but spit it out. Lowly street rats." He could also play their dirty game which seemed to be all a lie. Maybe it was jealousy? Hmph. They really didn't know anything about him. Nothing at all. Except for that he was 'Queen's watchdog'

One of them punched Ciel in his stomach. Ciel didn't see who it was, it all happened so quickly and he fell down to the ground because of it. It hurt so much that he wanted to vomit.

He tried to get up but that same person kicked him, again and again. Ciel closed his eyes, as if it would've eased the pain and tried to remain sane and living.

"You scum. You can't have forgot. It has hardly been three years since that incident. Does Hampshire harbour say anything? Any bells ringing?"

The boy must've called the others for assistance, since now many many more punches made their way to Ciel's body. Yet Ciel didn't scream or even wince.

"I knew you were emotionless but now I'm confirmed you're heartless. There can't be anything as low as what you are. First you brutally murder two families and then forget everything about it. I doubt you are even human.. more like the devil himself. Hit him harder!"

Ciel opened his eyes and his mouth opened. Murder? He had ordered Sebastian to kill many, many criminals and dangerous people, but not families. Never children. This had to be a mistake or he had forgot. No.. Ciel could never forget killing two families by his own hands, that was not possible for him to forget. Not after that one incident.

"It.. has to be a mistake. I don't kill families.. and especially not with my own hands."

One of the boys kicked him right in the face, making Ciel gasp in surprise and pain. He tried to push the foot off his face, but it was squeezed even deeper into his skin. So disgusting, to have a shoe pressed into your face.

"It was you! You can't deny it! The one who killed mine and his family was a young boy with bluegray hair and an eyepatch and had a butler with him. Sebastian Michaelis, that was the name of that butler. We do remember."

It seemed like the surreal story was true. Based on the emotion in those boys' voices, they couldn't be lying. But why couldn't Ciel remember anything? No matter how icy the mask Ciel built up was, the boy couldn't deny that he was human and he felt with his heart. He felt pain, sadness, despair, hate and anger, even love and happiness, but mostly the negative emotions. So how could it be possible for him to forget something like this..? He was supposedly 13 when the incident had happened, at Hampshire harbour in London--

Wait. Ciel's eyes widened in horror as he realized the truth, those kids were actually right. There had been one night when he had went to that specific harbour with Sebastian, to investigate some drug dealing or something else illegal stuff. Ciel remembered getting very angry and setting one of the boats on fire, "to ease the amount of work" or because of some else stupid reason. What he didn't know, was that there were some people living in that boat, and naturally they were inside that boat when Ciel set it on fire. He remembered leaving the scene with Sebastian, being proud of himself since 'he'd almost solved the case'.

Fuck, it wasn't true at all. Ciel knew he wasn't the nicest person on Earth and he acted very coldly towards other, but he hadn't meant to burn those people to death. He hadn't known.. and that pissed him off the most.

He really was the lowest of all. Not until now did he know how horrible he was. Not once had it occured to him how much pain he inflicted on others. Not once did he realise that someone else could feel the same pain of losing their dear ones. Not once had it occured to him that the world didn't revolve around him and his opinions and levers. Not once had he felt sorry for someone else before now.

The youngest boy was crying, arms wrapped around his knees and his head hang down. One boy was hugging the crying kid, desperately trying to comfort him. It seemed to be in vain, a pain like that was hard, almost impossible to forget. The two others were on each side of Ciel, keeping him in place. They followed his every movement and smiled wickedly at him.

"So the devil himself has remembered, huh? I hope the truth will hurt and burn your rotten body and kill you, but I bet it's impossible. Since you are the devil, nothing can harm you because you have no feelings. I bet you're satisfied now when you've ruined four person's lives."

A few kicks were landed on Ciel's body before the boys stopped and went to comfort their still crying companion. They didn't glance at Ciel anymore, not wanting to ruin their eyes by looking at something so evil and inhuman. That's what they thought.

It wasn't very far from the truth, though. Ciel felt like he was indeed the devil himself, killing people and not regretting anything. He didn't regret burning that boat, it was the sad truth. How could he regret it since it had brought him such a good reputation among other aristocrat's? How could he when it had indeed led to him solving the whole case? Burning that boat was the main clue for the drug case, and the loss of two families was a minor point.

It was so wrong to think like that. Where was his empathy and love for the mankind? Did this mean that he wasn't human anymore? After so many years with Sebastian, it could be true. Maybe he was turning to be a demon because of Sebastian. The lack of emotions was only the beginning of it and it had lasted since his parents died. Yes, Ciel was sure that Sebastian was manipulating and brainwashing him into being more demonlike.

Ciel could see those boys walking away from him, arms around each other's shoulders. He sighed as he realised all he could feel was pity towards them, no guilt, depression or sorrow. He couldn't relate with them, they were too humanlike, too good compared to him and his rotten way of thinking and living. He tried to get up but it hurt too much. He tried to yell an apology but failed. It came out as a weak whisper:

"I'm sorry.."

It was the least he could do for those kids, and he failed to to that. Ciel Phantomhive was indeed becoming a demon inside his head. He longed for Sebastian more than ever, wanted the demon to wash away the remaining humanity in his veins. He knew he couldn't become a human anymore, the process to become something else had started when the incident with his parents had started.

Suddenly his heart started to beat rapidly when he thought of Sebastian. Ciel's eyes widened as he realised that all he needed was Sebastian. All he wanted was the twisted, non-romantic love the demon could offer him. He yearned for the desire and lust Sebastian had, he yearned for Sebastian throughoutly.

It was wrong too. The society wouldn't accept a homosexual relationship, so he'd have to keep his and Sebastian's relationship secret. It wouldn't matter as long as Sebastian would be beside him.

..What relationship? It wasn't as if Sebastian loved him or anything.. Ciel was sure he was going mad. A quiet plea slipped out of his mouth:

"Sebastian.. save me.."

--

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian had been waiting for Ciel's call for many hours now. Not that the demon cared if something happened to his master, it was only his duty to keep his master alive. The demon smirked, the poor boy was so confused. Sebastian could hear it in his voice.

"Mm, I can help you with that, young master."

He licked his lips greedily. Yes indeed, young master belonged to him throughoutly and now that Ciel had started to understand the true meaning of lust and desire, he'd be very willing to show those emotions in action.

Sebastian slipped his black coat on and disappeared into the darkness. Now where could his young master be?

--

He knew Sebastian would come. It wouldn't be long before he'd see those scarlet eyes and that wicked smile on his butler's face again. Ciel wasn't sure whether he wanted to escape from that gaze or melt to it. Then there was the matter with Elizabeth and the wedding, which made him squirm in fear. Sebastian wouldn't be amused, not at all.

A small kick was placed on his left foot. Ciel yelped in pain and frowned. Because of the darkness, he couldn't see who the figure was. Anger started to rise inside him.

"Who do you think you are?! How dare you kick me? Don't you know who I am?"

The other snickered and kicked him again.

"Yes~I do know who you are. You're Ciel Phantomhive."

It was a man. That person turned around quickly and dropped down to his knees, and was now sitting on Ciel's lap. Ciel's eyes widened.

"Y-you?! What do you think you're doing here!"

The man sneered.

"To make sure something that should be mine, doesn't fall into wrong hands, young count Phantomhive~"

--

Sorry for the grammar misspelling.. and this chapter may have been super confusing. And nothing special happened, it was just Ciel realising things and so. But I hope you enjoyed it anyways~ The next one should be up quite soon~