Hey guys,

So this is a super speedy update but I did it because I realized my cliffie was EVIL! The questions needed to be answered.

And because so people asked me to nicely :).

But also this means the chapter is shorter and moves things along a little at a fast pace. Although you find out a lot about Tally.

I recommend actually listening to I try when you read the first bit of this.

Pictures on profile.

Typo apologies.

There will definitely be a sequel now. Because people seem to want so. Although this will go on for a while.

Disclaimer: If I was SM twilight would be all around more awsomely funny.

The Awesome List: Miss. Ebbie Paige, Nicola-Tee-, Dreams Are Bursting Bubbles (who reviewed twice), ClumsyBrunette, IcePrincessFireQueen, theadventuresofjamesandsirius, .Meraz

Sorry about the double e-mail update thing. I forgot the awesome list so I re-entered the chapter :).

Hope you enjoy this,

Don't kill me,

Much Love,

Arianna Tala Cole,

AKA The author

I try to say goodbye and I choke,

Try to walk away and I stumble,

Though I try to hide it, it's clear,

My world crumbles when you are not near,

Goodbye and I choke,

Try to walk away and I stumble,

Though I try to hide it it's clear,

My world crumbles when you are not near.

- Macy Gray

- I Try

No matter the temperature of the boys in the room I could not warm up. The power to be a warm blooded creature had deserted me. There was only one thing I was interested in now. And that was which one of my friends wasn't going to survive the night.

I just stood waiting for an answer. Sam seemed a bit reluctant to give it to me. I knew he was worried about how I'd take it but now I was just trying not to get pissed off because he was wasting time.

"Matt."

The word left his mouth. No more than a whisper. And I fell. I couldn't help it. I just dropped to the floor. From my sitting position I had managed to get in front of Sam waiting for an answer but now I just sat on the floor. 'What?' my brain seemed to scream. Or at least it felt like it should be screaming. But it wasn't. It was like some pathetic whisper because I was so dazed. I couldn't comprehend one of the boys that I had known half my life not being there in the morning.

I could see the pack talking to me. Trying to work out if I was alright but I couldn't hear anything. There was nothing. It felt like cotton wool was blocking my ears. I was still there in body but in essence I was gone. My mind had floated way back to all the memories I had with Matt.

How he'd been the first one to talk to me outside that restaurant acting like Joey on friends and saying "So...How you doin'?" in a funny voice. How when I'd started high school and I was scared and hiding behind my books he looked after me. How he made me laugh every time I was down. How when my grandpa died he helped me through my serious depressive stage. How he helped me when I had an operation on my hip and I was useless. I couldn't walk, I had to be in a wheelchair and Matt pushed me round and helped me through all the physio therapy and, against all odds and doctors predictions, got me walking again. How he had to help me to the toilet. Help me lift my leg. Help me get dressed and played it off like it was nothing. How he'd laugh and smile making me the butt of his jokes. How his eyes would sparkle and the light would dance in them every time he made me believe something was true and I got upset and hit him when I worked out he was lying. How he'd pretend it would hurt just to make me feel better. How he'd give me piggy backs everywhere when I ran and jumped on his back, never once complaining. How he'd tip me upside down. How he got me drunk for the first time in my life and although I had clearly had enough and was stumbling around everywhere just shouted at me, "Oi! Finish that drink bitch you know we don't waste this shit!". Every little kiss. Every peck. Every smile. Every little thing he ever did. Like forcing me to go to the dentist when I was scared out of my mind. Holding my hand at every cancer check up I had to have to make sure it hadn't come back. How he punched a guy for hitting on me and creeping me out. When he gave me his lollipop once because I didn't like the flavor of mine. How once when I dropped my ice cream on the ground he laughed, but when he saw how upset I actually was used his allowance to buy me another one. How we all ran from the cops that day and when Matt thought I'd get caught he picked me up bridal style and ran with me because he refused to let me get caught even though he was risking capture himself. How that day he walked with me down to the river bed, it was nice and sunny for once, and I arrived to see the back of his truck covered in blankets and rose petals. How he made sure that day to be gentle and take good care of me. How he blew away any anticipation and made sure first and foremost I was comfortable. How he saved my life. Without Matt…I'd be dead now.

I felt like crying. Really sitting and bawling my eyes out. How could this happen. Especially to Matt. He was such a kind guy. I don't…I don't understand. I don't know what I'm going to do without him. But I do know I owe him this much at least. I need to face up to my demons. This won't go away if I hide from it. I have to not be scared, and go and see him. I have to. I owe him that much. I have to say goodbye.

"Where…where is he?" I asked quietly. I doubted that anyone but the werewolves could here me.

"They're all outside." Paul said.

I think it's a little sad and yet cool that in my dazed state I could still tell that was Paul. I got up and ran out the back. Laying shivering, cold and, awkwardly, naked was Matt. His brothers were all sitting around him. I was tripping and having to regain my balance as I was running towards them. Eventually I collapsed on my knees.

"Matty, Matty, Matty." I mumbled as I held tightly to his hand. Bringing back the pet name from when we were together.

"Alright sugar-lips." He coughed.

"Oh Matty." I moaned, touching his hand to my forehead.

"Hey don't get upset." He said using quite a bit of energy to turn his head and look at me.

"I thought you weren't going to die on me?" I said accusingly.

He gave a horse laugh. "When have I ever done what you asked?"

I smiled in spite of myself. "I suppose that's true. But Matty you can't leave me."

He sighed and looked at his brothers. "Lemme say goodbye to Tal guys."

They all nodded and got up strolling back towards the house. It would seem to an outsider they had accepted his fate. I didn't think that at all. I just thought if he was taking it so well they were too proud to let him see them upset.

"Tally, there's a few things I wanna get in before I die okay? So I need you to listen." I nodded.

"Call my Aunt Louise, get her to get all my things, bury me in bright orange, you're still like my little sister and my brothers of course so I want you carrying the coffin smurf. If you say goodbye tell me everything because it's really hard leaving you. You're everything to me Tally. You and the guys, there's nothing more. You need to know why I did this too. Did they tell you?" His words came out in whispers.

I shook my head.

"I did this because Paul was in trouble." I felt my eyes widen.

"Wha?"

"A vampire that none of us had noticed jumped for him, he wouldn't have had time to get out of the way, so I jumped in. You need him Tally." He explained.

"No. No Matt. Don't do that to me. Don't make me try to see who I need more." I said roughly.

"I'm not because I know. You need Paul Tally. And there is no fucking way some fucked up bloodsucker is going to ruin your happiness if I have anything to say about it."

"You always were too damn heroic for your own good."

He smiled at me. "But Tal. Reassure me. I did the right thing here right?" He asked.

Right now Matt looked so vulnerable. He was such a hard nut and a legend in his own right and yet he looked so much like a little boy who needed his mummy's reassurance that the monster in the cupboard wouldn't get him I almost cried. He'd always protected me. How the hell did this switch so easy?

"I might be pregnant Matt." I whispered so low I could almost hear myself. It was a truth I hadn't wanted to face and I knew I'd put off facing for a while but one that would completely help Matt.

"So I did good then?" He asked putting his hand on the side of my face.

I was sure tears were shinning in my eyes and my voice cracked as I said "Yeah Matt. Yeah. You did good."

He smiled at me and his body shook, lifted a little and collapsed as the venom got closer to killing him. His eyes fluttered closed.

"Tal…" He whispered. "Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

"Matt I…" I didn't really understand what was he was saying.

"You're strong Tal. You're one of those people. Don't give up. Not because of me."

"I…"

"Promise me Tal. Promise me." He said wheezing but suddenly sounding urgent.

"I promise Matt I promise."

"Pinky swear?" He wheezed out.

"Pinky swear." I said locking our fingers for him.

It scared me that a guy who could tip me upside down a couple of hours earlier now needed me to interlock his pinky finger with mine for him.

"I love you Tal." He said looking in to my eyes.

"I love you to Matty." I whispered.

And for the first time in my life I felt tears threatening to fall as his eyes closed for what I knew would be the final time. I felt kind of empty. I took a minute to take a deep breath and got myself under control. I managed it. I would not break that promise to Matt. When I was sure I had myself under control I got up off my knees and walked into the house. As I was walking towards the back door it started to rain. I laughed. I actually laughed. Because it was typical. And I knew Matt would laugh. And weirdly enough I felt like Matt was making it rain, just to soak me one last time.

I walked into the kitchen. Everyone looked up at me. I was dripping wet. The water was running off of me. All of Matt's brothers, as well as they'd been taking it around Matt, Sam and Embry included, had tear stains down their cheeks.

"He's gone." I said.

Aj clenched his fists. I dropped into a chair and put my head in my hands. Joe put his head against the table and put his hands behind his head letting another tear escape. James sniffed loudly, took a deep breath and nodded like he expected nothing else.

"So, what'd he tell you?" Asked James.

"Erm…" I was still rather dazed and sluggish, "Call Aunt Lou and get her to get his things and sort them out, he wanted me and you lot of course to carry his coffin and he wanted to be buried in orange." It was strange how the present tense had slipped to the past so easy.

Aj laughed. He was hurting but he laughed. "That is so Matt." He said looking at me with his puffy red eyes.

Joe looked at me too nodding. His bright eyes were dim and lifeless and bloodshot at the moment. "Should we move him?" He asked.

"We have to make this look like a bear did it don't we?" I asked.

"Fraid so." Aj said.

I nodded and left with them. Sam's pack seemed to notice we had to do this on our own.

We took Matt into the forest and Aj changed, ripping away at his body to make it so it looked like a bear did it. I felt like a hole was being ripped in my chest watching Matt's body be destroyed like that.

Afterwards we called Charlie Swan the chief of police who sorted out the investigation and gave us the okay for the funeral. It took place the next day. We couldn't hang around on these things. We did as Matt asked and buried him in orange. I did help carry the coffin although I knew it looked funny. I mean how many girls carry coffins?

We put him in the ground up on the Makah reservation near the river. It's where Matt had always been most comfortable and it made perfect sense.

Clearing out his room was hard. I looked sadly at the bottle of vodka I would never get to drink with him. He had shit everywhere in his room but I spotted a box under the bed with a lock on.

It took me a week of searching but I managed to find the key. Inside I saw a load of knick knacks that would mean nothing to anyone else but I could place all the importance to Matt.

There were a few photos of us at my fifteenth birthday party. The first we were all wearing silly hats. I had my large eyes open and was grinning like a fool as the boys pulled faces over my back. The second I had my tongue stuck out at the camera while they leaned on me pulling big grins. The third I had my face scrunched up and my arms down straight and my eyes scrunched up as the boys blew the hooter things over my shoulders. I remember clamping my hands to my ears in an attempt to stop the ringing just after that was taken. The last one I was looking at Aj while Joe peered over my head putting two fingers up over my hat, James was by Aj about to smush cake on his head and Matt was kissing me on the cheek.

Also in the box was a broken candlestick that I had hit him around the head with once in a rage because I knew I couldn't hurt him. A peanut packet from the peanuts we started the peanut war with. A wrench I brought him for his birthday. A bow he'd stolen off of me ages ago. All the valentines cards I'd ever sent him. A large badge James had given him saying '16 and legal' that he got in England and a rose petal from the night we first slept together.

I sat on the bed looking through these things for a while laughing to myself when I came across a photo of me folded up. When I opened it it was the one where I was laying on the grass looking at the camera and kissing Matt on the cheek when we were like thirteen. Before we knew about any of this.

Also written out in Matt's crappy handwriting was the chorus of last request by Paolo Nutini. The chorus goes:

Grant my last request and just let me hold you,

Don't shrug your shoulders,

Lay down beside me,

And sure I can accept we're going nowhere,

But one last time lets go there,

Lay down beside me.

I let out a little puff of a laugh when I saw that. I remember that late one night we'd had a big argument and Matt had stormed out of my house. When at about 2am a stone was thrown at my window and I, bleary eyed, opened it to see Matt with a guitar singing the chorus of that song. So I told him to shut up and come up. He climbed up the tree and I fell asleep in his arms that night. God. That felt years ago. It was the last time we'd 'slept' together in the literal sense of the word. I can't believe he'd kept this.

That's when it struck me and I could see it all in my head. The reason why Paul and Matt had never and would never of gotten on. Because Matt was still in love with me. And everyone could see that but me. Matt still cared. And for a minute I could see the visions dancing in my head, Matt and I with tiny little Matt and Tally's and the little cottage he promised to buy me if I wasn't married by the time I was twenty five or if I married him. I realized he had a picture of that in here too. It had the honeysuckle climbing up the walls of the cottage and the roses in the pretty front garden. For a minute I could see all that. But then as I had a wave of nausea overcome me and it all disappeared. Everything swam back into perspective. Paul. The sickness. I might be pregnant. Matt dying. It all came back.

I ran into the bathroom and threw up. I remembered the last time I did this Matt was holding my hair back and telling me to let it all out, and honestly, if I hadn't promised Matt I wouldn't cry, I would have cried then, because now…I was alone.

Kim came into the bathroom while I was upchucking and scraped my hair back for me. As I finished I wiped off my mouth and leaned against the sink.

"I think it might be time to check those tests." I said to her.

"Never." She replied sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and left the bathroom picking up the box which was the last thing left in Matt's empty room on the way out.

I went into Sam and Emily's walked up to my room and checked the tests. Three little positive signs stared back at me.

"Ah, shit." I muttered.

"What's shit?" Paul asked walking in the door.

I span around dropping the tests in the draw and looked at him.

"I just stubbed my toe." I said smiling at him.

He moved towards me and kissed me on the lips. I felt bad, I hadn't really paid that much attention to him in the last couple of weeks. It had all just fallen out of perspective what with Matt dying. I deepened the kiss and he pushed me back into the draws. Luckily that pushed the draw with the pregnancy tests in closed.

A loud sound rang in the air as my door banged open.

"No. No. No. No. NO!" Shouted Sam pulling Paul off me. "The last thing we need now is Tally getting pregnant."

Oh god. Awkward.

"Sam, if you're not going to let this continue can I at least um…go?" I asked.

He nodded stiffly at me and I had a feeling he was going to have a go at Paul when I left. I moved quickly nodding to Kim when I reached the bottom of the stairs before heading out and climbing in my car.

The hospital waiting room had to be one of the scariest places I had ever been. I sat and stared at my clammy hands for what seemed like hours although in reality it was about ten minutes ad strangely I wished Matt was there. Because he'd always been the one to be at these things with me. To hold my hand and tell me we'd get through this. I never realized how hard it was to lean on yourself until I had no one there I was leaning on. Do you know what I mean? In this I was alone. And I realized that even if I hadn't noticed it before I'd always lent on Matt with this stuff. And that hurt. Just knowing that when I needed to talk his little screen name would never pop up and make me feel like I had an escape.

"Miss Tala Young?" Asked a petite nurse pulling me out of my daydream...or day-nightmare.

I looked up. "That's me."

"Doctor Cullen will see you now."

I walked down the bright white halls, my shoes squeaking from the rain. At the end of the corridor was the doctors treatment room. I knocked and waited for the okay before entering.

"Ah, Tala. I must say I was ever so sorry to hear about your friend but what can I do for you now?" He asked as I took my seat.

"I think I'm pregnant, six to eight weeks would be my guess." I said biting my bottom lip.

"Oh. Well I must say you didn't strike me as the type…"

"It was an accident." I sighed, running my hand over my face and pulling it through my hair. "No one else knows, well except Kim."

"Right. And what do you want me to do? Are you here for an abortion or…?"

"Oh no. Oh god no." I said interrupting him. "I could…never do that."

"I see."

"I just need a scan and someone to be the doctor. I…I know I messed up. And I know I'll get in trouble. And Sam will probably try to make me get rid of it but…I just have to do what's best for this baby at the moment." I rambled.

He nodded, his amber eyes flashed with understanding and compassion, "Yes, yes I see. Well lets get this ultrasound done shall we?" He asked.

I walked over to the bed and laid down. He pulled up my top and squirted on the cold gel. I looked at the little screen as he began the ultrasound.

Seriously the baby was so tiny you wouldn't think it was possible that it would grown that big in so little time but I knew it would be normal sized when it came out. It had a big head, just like it's father, I thought. Although it was still just a little blob.

I couldn't help but smile as he played the heartbeat into the room through the Doppler. No I was so not having an abortion. The sound was like a small thrumming.

"You're baby has a strong heart." He said.

"What's that?" I asked pointing at another large lump in the womb.

"Oh my." He said before moving more over to it. "It seems you are having twins."

"Oh god. This just keeps getting better doesn't it." I said sighing.

At that moment I didn't really know what to do. I went to Embry's house and used the shower before going back to mine. I did not need the boys smelling Carlisle and asking what the hell was going on. It might seem weird to use Embrys shower but I could blame that on the boys if I had two. Or well...three of them. Wow. That felt weird. We were officially a foursome.

I went into the house with my little scan picture hidden in my back pocket and headed upstairs.

"Hey, where've you been?" Asked Paul grabbing my hand.

"Oh…nowhere important." I said smiling weakly.

He raised his eyebrows at me. Paul just had to know me well didn't he?

"Well…can I tell you another time?" I asked.

He frowned. "If you're sure I don't need to know."

Well he doesn't need to know...RIGHT now I reasoned.

"I'm sure."

"Okay." He said blowing a bubble with the chewing gum he was chomping on.

I leaned up and kissed him on the lips. "Thank you."

Kim came up behind me. "Paul I need to borrow her." She said pulling me up the stairs.

"So?" She said when I got upstairs.

I pulled out the scan. She squealed loudly and jumped up and down. I could hear the boys running upstairs.

I grabbed the scan and shoved it in a draw.

"What's going on?" Asked Jared.

"Nothing." We both replied quickly.

The raised their eyebrows. "Right…"

We looked at each other and decided simultaneously on the best course of action.

Hormones.

We shoved them both into the wall and kissed them roughly pushing our body's up against their's. Soon enough what we were doing before was forgotten.

Don't you just love the power girls have over boys?

So guys?

Sad I know. Please don't kill me. Matt was happy he got the 'heroic' death at least.

Typo apologies. Pictures on profile. Don't forget the poll. Although I am almost 99.9% sure where this is heading now.

Much Love,

....