Disclaimer: (not mine, but i wish it was)

hey guys...sorry this came so late. i've been kind of busy. school and all that junk
okay i admit it. i've been reading a whole lotta harry potter fanfiction
it's kind of my new obsession
oh and i have to mention the twilight movie
IT WAS AWESOME
okay...happy reading

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Hospitals

It took me about two seconds to register what he had said. It had felt like slicing arctic water had splashed at my face. A cold shower of pain ready to engulf me. When I finally spoke, what came out of my mouth sounded more like a whisper. Something that I was afraid to ask because of the answer I might get.

"What do you mean something happened to Charlie?"

Again Jacob squeezed my hands with all the tightness my weak bones would allow. Thoughts started to swarm through my head. What was he talking about? Something had happened to Charlie? My dad? With a slight huff of breath, he answered my question.

"He was outside his house when he got a call for a disturbance"

My heart started to sink and my breath scratched itself along my throat.

"When he got there he didn't even have time to pull his gun"

A wave of nausea started to take me over. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it any further.

"There were too many of them and Charlie was alone"

I could feel a pull in my stomach and knew then that if I had to wait any longer I would throw up.

"Just tell me Jake". A look of pain shot across his eyes as he searched my face.

"He was shot Bella".

Horrified by this answer, I pushed myself back until I made contact with the opposite door. The handle dug into my back. Tears started to swell across my eyes and everything took on a blurred form. Even Jacob, who was now next to me was a mere shadow. Pressing my hands to my face I let out a strangled breath. This just wasn't happening. Not to Charlie. Then I felt the presence of Jacob pressing against me in attempt to hold me down.

"There's more", he bleakly added.

How could there be more? I refused to believe this. Pulling my hands from my face, I took in Jacobs expression. Telling from his tight lips and worried eyes I understood that whatever the more was, it was bad. A small whisper made its way through my shivering lips.

"Oh god Jacob…did…is he still…-"

He cut me off by pressing my face against his chest, allowing me to take comfort in his warm build. Pressing hands found their way to my back and motioned large circles to keep me from falling further into my hysteria. I couldn't even fathom what I would do if I lost Charlie. How life would be. I didn't want to think about it. It was unacceptable. Unbearable. Jacob leaned his face closer to mine and kissed the top of my head. It was as if this small gesture had given me my answer. I had lost my father, he was gone.

"Bella", he paused. "It doesn't look good"

All I could think after that was; how could he? How could Jacob give me that little piece of hope? It doesn't look good? What did that even mean? I hated it. And I hated Jacob for saying it. A shiver of anger started to crawl along my fingers, causing them to form fists. Jake seemed to notice this when he took them into his hands. I looked up in reaction to his hold. His eyes spoke of unspoken misery and pain. They seemed almost swimming in regret. Then he did something that I hadn't expected at all. He let go.

"Jacob?"

"Go see your father", he added.

Again I saw the pain in his stare. He wanted to come, but he knew that I, more than anything had to do this alone. He was my father, my Charlie. If I hadn't been in so much emotional strain right then I would have felt warmth in my heart from this action. He knew me enough to know when to let me go. Slowly he inched his way out of the truck and I made my way to the drivers seat. The tightness that I held the wheel was starting to turn my knuckles white. Jacob leaned in and kissed my forehead one last time.

"I'm sorry Bella…god I'm sorry". Meeting my eyes with his, I connected our pain. His pain for me and my pain for Charlie and for what was to come. With hitched breaths I answered him.

"I'll be back Jacob. I promise". Taking the handle in my hand, I pulled the door shut and started the engine.

…

When I pulled up to the emergency entrance I knew imminently that I was not going to like this place. The building itself was grotesque and painful to the eyes. To make things worse, when I walked through the automatic doors the Pepto-Bismol walls caught attention to my gag reflex. This was not going to be good.

After about ten minutes of mindlessly searching a young nurse with long brown hair stopped me.

"Did you need some help?" Her voice took me by surprise. Her look gave off that she'd be the intellectual type, but this bubble filled voice shattered that.

"My Dad…", I started, but quickly stopped.

To tell the truth I didn't know what to say. Did I tell her that my father was shot? Did I just ask her what room Chief Swan was in? I was lost for words. Her eyes caught my hesitation and she placed a hand on my shoulder. All the bubble she previously had, had popped and now there was only sympathy.

"Did something happen to your dad?"

I simply nodded. No matter how calm I was trying to stay, I knew that if I spoke only tears would follow. The nurse continued to speak in a comforting voice.

"What's his name?"

"Charlie Swan", I managed.

Instantly a shade of condolence dropped on her face. Seeing this only made me more breakable. I was stupid to have let Jacob let me come here alone. If by just hearing his name and knowing about what happened gave her this reaction then what did that say about his condition? I could feel the well of tears brimming at my lashes. You will not cry here Bella. Not here. I swelled up my chest, but quickly dropped. The hole that had formed before was now being resurfaced. I could feel as each and every part of me filled with that emptiness. The fear.

She took her hand off my shoulder. "You're Chief Swans daughter." She paused and it seemed as though she was trying to read me. "Oh dear…you should come with me"

She took my hand without any implied permission and lead me along a hallway. Mindlessly I let myself be dragged without thinking about where she'd be leading me. All that went through my mind was how sickening the walls looked. Pink with darker shades of pink running along them like a directional arrow. Weren't hospitals suppose to make you calmer? To me blue would have been a much better color or maybe white. But then I was hit with the realization that when you're dying colors probably didn't matter. People came to hospitals to die, not ponder about the paint choices. Color probably played no part in this process. With a quick turn she lead me down anther hallway, passing a sign that read INTENSE CARE UNIT. A deep roll of grief towed away at my stomach. Charlie was really bad. Jacob's face hadn't lied about how serious this was. Then as if I didn't know she was going to stop, I slammed into her still mass. Looking up to her in surprise, I didn't expect to see her staring straight forward. Turning my gaze to the same direction, my mouth dropped in shock. Through the glass window that stood only inches from my eyes was Charlie. Or at least the form that I had once know as Charlie. The body laying in there in no way resembled the man I knew all my life. This was the image of a beaten and fading person, someone very near to death. Tubes jetting out of every direction and the resulting stain of deep red tracing his bandages. This was not Charlie. This was not my father.

Seconds passed and I couldn't take the scene in anymore. I had to look at something else. Turning my body, I leaned against the glass window and slid down its length. Taking a hold of my knees and biting down on my arm, I tried to hold myself together. The nurse kneeled down and placed her hand on my elbow. Trying as hard as I could I focused on the washed out blue floor tiles.

"Are you going to be okay Honey?"

Yet again anger shot through me and I instantly hated her for speaking. I didn't want to hear her talk. She didn't have any purpose with me. I shrugged my elbow away and dropped my head between my arms. After a few seconds she took this as her hint to leave. Sitting outside the room of my dying father, I slowly slipped into seclusion.

…

Time seemed to pass at a snail's pace as nobody came. I had figured that some pudgy balding doctor in a white lab coat would have come by now to tell me about my father. He would look distinctly at his chart and ignore my sunken features because looking at me would have been too much. He would have pushed up his glasses as he read off what had happened. He would have walked away after telling me that I had lost my father, that I was alone. Then I would have to sign some papers and leave to lead on my parentless life. A short lived shiver shot along my neck as I thought this. Since when had I not though of Renee as a parent? Another panic filled shock rolled in my chest. I needed to call her. She had to know. Just with that thought I heard the familiar echo of footsteps coming down the hall just beyond mine. Without looking up, I knew exactly when the echoing noise was standing just above me.

"Miss Swan?"

With as much strength as I could call on, I raised my head. Towering over me stood the exact doctor I had described. It scared me a little how dead on I had been. Although I guess in all fairness to him, he wasn't balding. A sign that this was a doctor that knew to keep work at work and not to take the days worries back home with him. He probably didn't even think twice when a mother lost her child or when a teenager died on his table after a unsuccessful surgery. He was smart. I wish I had that talent. He looked down at his clipboard and continued.

"I'll be quick. I don't want to overwhelm you with the technicalities and large words"

An empty glare formed on my face. This guy thought I was dumb. It was true that I probably wouldn't have understood him if he did mention the technicalities and large words, but still this was just arrogant. I couldn't stop myself from feeling a deep hatred for this lab coat covered man. I wanted to take his glasses off his emotionless face and smash them. Maybe then he would show some sort of remorse. Not for my life, I couldn't expect that, but for his broken frames.

"Your father was shot. The bullet skimmed a vessel surrounding his heart. The chances are slim", the doctor listed.

With those three short facts this nameless doctor had ripped at my soul. At my hope. He had painlessly told me that my father was dying. He didn't even care. Looking up at his ivy-league educated face swept my throat with a feeling of repulsion. Another set of echoing footsteps caught my ears. Peering past the black pant legs of the doctor, I took in the nurses disheveled look as she quickened her pace towards him. Then behind her I could make out yet more footsteps. Faster than the previous sets.

"Doctor", she huffed from her lack of breath. Apparently she had been running. "There is a man..-". Then cutting her off, I heard the husky sweet voice of my hope. The only light I had left in my dark confined mind.

"Bella!"

The nurse turned to face the outburst of noise. She turned back to face the doctor. "I'm sorry Sir. He insisted he had to see her", she stated as she sent a pointing look towards me. Without taking any interest the doctor turned and prodded for the nurse to follow. Jacob continued his strides and fully flung himself at me. Wrapping his long warm arms around my body, I fell into his frame. Melting in his comfort. Soft warm kisses wetted across my neck and attempted to sooth me.

"I'm so sorry Bella…I shouldn't have let you go alone", he mumbled along my neck. "I should have been here". Stopping his kisses, he pulled my face into his neck as he rested his chin on my head. Not able to suppress the tears any longer, they trickled down my cheeks in silent sobs. A cracked whisper broke my lips.

"He's going to die Jacob. Charlie's going to die". He held me tighter and let out a heated breath against my neck.

"Don't think like that Bella". Instantly my eyes shot up to his and I gasped at his words. How could he talk like this? Didn't he know how serious this was?

Harshly I questioned him. "How can you say that? Have you seen him?"

His eyes hardened with his answer. "Yeah, I saw him"

"Then don't you see. It's over. Charlie's gone". Small sobs started to take over my speech, replacing words with hiccups of desolation. I could feel as I slowly sunk further into the dark. Not even Jacob, my light of hope could help me. Not now. Then he spoke.

"He's not dead Bella. Not yet. You can still fight this. You need to fight this"

My wet questioning eyes met his. "How do I fight something I have no control over?"

"You try. You at least keep some sort of hope in yourself. Charlie would want you to fight". Pushing myself further into his chest, I understood the entirety of his words. Jake was stronger than me. He knew more than anyone that there was always something to fight for. I had been weak.

He pulled his hands away from my face and balanced them on his knees.

"You should go see him". He spoke this with urgency.

Quietly I mumbled, "I saw him". A small wave of pain crossed his features when he realized what he had to say.

"No Bella. You should go see him in his room. Time is," he paused, "limited"

Now understanding him I fell further back into the wall. I wasn't sure if I was ready for this. Being close to something that I was inescapably going to lose. The thought of it sent waves of fear through my veins. It felt like I had swallowed the whole ocean and couldn't find any release. I was a dam…and I was breaking. Then Jacob took my hand in his and gave me a questioning look. It was clear that he could tell just how close I really was to falling apart. So I tightened my grip and returned the smallest nod of approval. I was ready. He lifted me from the floor and firmly kept his hand with mine. From the corner of my eye I could see the doctor coming back in our direction. I wanted to feel anger towards this man, but right now all that I felt was Jacob. His warmth. His love. His pain. I tightened my fingers around his and I didn't let go. I was going to fight.