Disclaimer: (I'd like to believe that in another life I owned Twilight, but even that seems impossible)

hey guys...sorry this took so long
really i have no excuse for this, i mean it's been at least a month
the holidays have passed and along with them another year
so i guess this is my very belated present for all of you
enjoy...i hope :)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Choosing Yellow

Each step bore the hesitation of my acceptance. I had to admit that this was Charlie in this bed. The blood that I saw was his. The vacant expression was his. All of it belonged to him. It seemed like minutes passed as I took in the sight when all signs of reality told me seconds. A squeeze came from the hand attached to mine. Not able to revert my eyes from the image in front of me, I squeezed back in response. I didn't want Jacob to think I had died. Then the doctor started to talk.

"We extracted the bullet, but there was some permanent damage". He paused to flip to the next page of his report. "If he is able to breath again on his own, there will be serious implications with his heart. It would be strenuous for him to continue as he normally would had". Finally I was able to pull my attention from my father and look at the doctor. His paused silence was killing me. "If he doesn't wake up soon the implications will be worse. I'm sorry, it's not very likely-". Then Jacob tensed as he broke him off.

"Leave". The doctors features furrowed while Jake's stayed steady and carved.

"Excuse me?", the doctor questioned. Clearly he wasn't use to being ordered out of rooms.

"We don't want your condolences. So why don't you put your pen back in your pocket protector and leave"

The doctor rolled his eyes and did just as Jake said. After placing the pen in his pocket he pulled at his glasses and muttered as he walked through the door.

"Fine. Just don't play with the tubes"

As he started for the door I could already feel Jake's hand smoothen. Once he was gone he let out a sigh of relief.

"I hate him", he groused.

Still I couldn't control my eyes. Now they had caught sight of Charlie's hand and wouldn't move. That was my dads hand. The one that held mine when we walked across the street. I could feel the quivers of pain start within my throat. Closing my eyes the tears then started to trail along my cheeks. Jacob lead me to a chair and helped me into it. Once I was situated he quickly attacked another chair and dragged it next to mine. Replacing his hand in mine he settled down. Then we sat. We waited for him to wake up.

…

Two days went by. Two hideous everlasting days. I hated it. Every part of this situation. Even with Jacob here I still felt…there just weren't words for what I felt. I was indefinable. We passed time by holding on to one another. More me than him, but he still participated for my sake. After the first night I'd spent in the hospital I'd fully realized how much I depended on Jake. He'd argued to stay with me and I wouldn't let him. When I woke up in tears I soon felt warm hands holding me. He had stayed anyway. If I had believed in a higher power I would have prayed right then that no one would ever take him away from me. Jacob was my life source. Somehow Charlie's odds had changed for the better and the nurses said he should wake up within the week. But something in her voice told me that after that week things would only get worse. I didn't like to think about it though. Hence the reminiscing.

A loud beep from across the hall pulled me out of my thoughts. Apparently it startled me because Jacob took notice and tightened his grip on my hand. I shot him a half smile to assure him that I wasn't going to wig out.

"I'm fine Jacob"

His eyes still questioned me.

"Seriously I'm okay", I reassured.

He got up out of his chair and started for the door.

"Where are you going?"

He turned around to face me. "To kill whoever made that noise", he mused. I raised an eyebrow at this. "Just a joke Bella. I'm going to get you some lunch". Hearing him say that gave me an idea. I got out of my chair.

"I'll go. I want to get out for a couple of minutes". I walked past him and he started to follow until I turned around. "Someone should stay with him"

"Right", he muttered.

I could see the pain in his expression. He hated it as much as I did that Charlie could wake up at any minute, just like he could not wake up any minute. It could be months for all we knew. No, my mind decided. Charlie was strong and much too stubborn. He'd be awake within the week. He had to. Jacob disappeared back into the room and sat in his chair. I turned back around and looked at the floor. Three separate lines of yellow, blue and green ran along the cracked tiles. Now all I had to remember was which color lead to the cafeteria. Taking anther step in my direction, I turned a corner and started down the hallway. I'd chosen yellow.

As I walked along the beaten tiles I remembered vaguely the last time that I was in this god forsaken place. I was five and Renee left the stove on. Not too long story short, I ended up with a second degree burn and a trip to the Portland hospital. Not the cheeriest memory, but it's kind of the last one I have of my two parents together. I still remembered the worried glances they shared with each other as the doctor examined me. A year later I moved to Phoenix with my mom while Charlie stayed in Forks. And that was the end of the happy Swan family. A flash of blue caught my eye and I quickly turned. My eyes scanned where I'd thought I'd seen it. Nothing. Just an empty hall with flickering fluorescent lights. I could have sworn that I'd seen something. I jogged further down the hallway and turned the corner. Abruptly two hands caught my shoulders and stopped me in my path. At first I didn't know what to say or how to react. My voice was caught in my throat, forming a blocker for words. Finally I caught my breath that I hadn't even realized I was holding.

"Edward?", I questioned. I felt like a deer caught in headlights. It was unexpected to say the least to see him standing there. Especially after how things were left off. "Edward, what are you doing here?"

He dropped his hands from my shoulders and shoved them in his coat pockets. He was wearing his blue coat.

"Hi to you too Bella"

The way he spoke seemed so easy and relaxed, and it pissed me off. I made sure that my face told him this. There was no reason for him to be coming to a place where I was and acting so casual about it. It was intrusive. He wasn't invited and he needed to know it.

"Don't talk to me like that. You don't get to do that", I sternly reminded. "Do you even remember what you did to me?"

He brought his hand up to my face and softly stroked my cheek. Tingling webs of cold corrupted my skin and left my head in a state of ecstasy.

"What do you think I did Bella?"

His tone was innocent but I could sense the malice behind it. I roughly tore his hand from my cheek and gave him a stare that told him exactly what he did to me.

"You took it upon yourself to kick me out of any say in our relationship. I said no and you ignored it. You threw what I wanted in my face and made yourself some sort of sick predator and me the pray!"

He recoiled at this and took a small hesitant step back.

"You were never the pray Bella", he nearly whispered. I could see the hurt in his eyes, pleading for some sort of understanding.

"But you did this. You messed everything when you wouldn't let me go"

He quickly responded to my statement. "Excuse me for not wanting to let you go so easily. I love you Bella"

I dropped my gaze and wrung my arms around myself to steady my stance. I was not going to fall apart over this. It was his fault that he couldn't let go, not mine.

"Maybe you shouldn't", I whispered.

He grabbed a hold of my arms and pulled me to him.

"Don't say that". He twirled a stray hair between his fingers that had fallen in my face and pushed it back. Safely tucking it behind my ear. "Don't ever say that. You know how I feel"

He rubbed his hands along my back in attempt to calm me. It wasn't working. Whatever effect he use to have was no longer in vacancy. He was just cold. Behind these kind gestures I could see the planned out strategy in his game. I pushed away from his hold and took a step backwards.

"And you know how I feel, but you continue to hound me! Just leave me alone Edward!"

I could see in his eyes the amount of pain my words had on him. It was as if he was swimming in despair. He had gone through things that I couldn't even begin to fathom and in that moment I found in myself that I didn't care. I didn't want to know what had happened to him. What had turned him into this emotional roller-coaster of cartwheels. Even though I hated to hurt him, I just couldn't play the game anymore. I'd chosen Jacob. When I picked him I'd dropped my hand and folded. The game was over. His face retorting into something of a sneer.

"Funny thing you should use the word hound. Isn't your boyfriend the dog!"

Instantly I felt a crushing pain along my left arm and to my horrifying amazement it was his hand that was bruising me. I'd never seen him with this much anger or force before. This wasn't Edward at all. I struggled against the hold.

"Edward! Let go!"

He continued to hold his death grip. It felt like my arm would combust at any moment.

"You're hurting me!"

Just then a women came around the corner and eyed us suspiciously.

"Is there a problem here?", she questioned.

The pressure left my arm. My eyes stayed locked on to his and in a split second he had turned back to his old self. The emotionally stable person that I always thought I'd be able to take shelter in. My anchor. Words started to fly from his lips.

"No", he eyed her. "Everything is fine"

He said this in a seductive voice and ended with a smile. Clearly he was aiming to get her out of there as soon as possible. Her worried demeanor faltered and she twirled a lock of hair against her chin.

"Okay, I guess if nothing is wrong here than I'll go. Just please refrain from shouting. There are sick patients here"

With that she turned on her heal and disappeared behind the corner. Then, just as I brought my eyes back to Edward, I instantly wanted that nurse back. Something was wrong and I didn't want to be here alone with him. The events that took place just seconds ago still kept a threatening linger in the air.

"I'm sorry", he sulked. "I don't know why I did that"

The way he was acting left me speechless. I didn't know what to say. He just went from being smug and pushy to the image of pure sorrow. Whatever was going on with him was clearly beyond me. He was lost.

"Edward, you need to get some help"

His eyes darted from the floor to my face.

"You're not yourself", I added.

"I have help", he mumbled.

"Then why are you here?"

He seemed confused by this statement as a puzzled guise took over his face.

"I would have thought that you'd know that by now", he brought his gaze back to the floor. "I still love you Bella. More than anything". Slowly he lifted his eyes to meet mine. "I can't just forget you"

The hurt in his eyes was overwhelming. It was as if his face was a razor blade that just skimmed the skin of my wrist. He was killing me by showing his pain. But it wasn't my fault. No matter how many times I've told myself this I still felt the need to repeat. I had made my choice and if he wasn't able to accept it then that was his problem. I hated to hurt him, but there is only so much I can do. Only so much pain I can feel. I took his hand in mine and gave him a small farewell gesture. I had to let him go. He needed to learn to live without me. I'd done it when he left me and now it was his turn.

"Edward", I pointedly spoke. He brought his gaze to meet mine. For a second it seemed as if the air stood still. I could see in his expression and tauten features that he knew what I was about to say. "I'm going back to Charlie's room where I will be with Jacob. Then I will go back to Billy's house where I will be with Jacob. And any other place or time that I am doing anything after that, I will be with Jacob".

With that I dropped his grasping hand and started to walk towards the exiting corner. I paused at the last moment to say the last thing that I would have to.

"Goodbye Edward"

And the last thing I saw of him was a blank expression and an untouched hand, hanging in the air. A hand that would never touch mine again.

As I took the corner I could feel the tears powering under my chest. Soon small trails of pain masquerading as wet tears showed upon my face and I continued walking. When I got back to Charlie's room I stopped to look in through the window. The image I saw was simple. Sitting next to Charlie was Jacob with his shoulders slumped against the hard hospital chair and his boots propped up against the bed railing. He seemed comfortable. As my eyes trailed along his hand and up his arm I was soon met with equally watching eyes. Very quickly he took in all that was my expression and dropped his feet from the railing. I didn't know what to do so I stayed where I was. Still I never broke eye contact. Neither of us moving, it seemed as if hours had passed when I finally turned the corner and walked through the door. He got up from his comfortable leaser and pulled me into something that couldn't possibly be described as a hug. It was more like he was my warm blanket on a cold winter night or my human sized band-aid that was entirely meant for holding me together. Nothing in this embrace spoke of a hug, but instead raised volumes with the word haven. I was in pain and he was taking all of it within this hold. He was my harbor within the storm.

Minutes passed and all I did was cry. No words were spoken, but small gestures of holding on tighter than ever before spoke massively for anything that was intended to be said. He knew that whatever I was in so much pain about made it necessary for him to be holding me, so that's what he did. Jacob held me. Slowly I started to ease my way out of his bone breaking embrace and I took in his expression. I could see worry brewing underneath his ever hardening demeanor. I had to tell him.

"Jacob I...-"

"Don't worry Bella", he kissed the top of my head and pulled me in tighter. "It will be okay"

"No Jake, I need to tell you…-"

Again he cute me off.

"I know", he paused slightly before finishing. "- and it's okay"

For a second I was lost in confusion. How could he know? I hadn't uttered a syllable.

"You know?", I questioned.

A small smile crept across his face that held two entirely different emotions. One of humor and another that masked the possibility of pain.

"I can smell him all over you"

At that moment I knew. I knew that whatever was to come, Jacob would be there. He would never leave. I held onto him tighter and hid my face within the confides of his chest and remained there for however long it was until he finally brought us out into the hall and sat me down beside him against the wall. As the time passed I relished in his warmth. His love. His hand in my hand and his neck that held my head perfectly as I leaned into him. This is how things were meant to be between us. Aside from the pain and direness of the current situation there was still us. Jacob and I. I loved him and there was no doubt that he loved me back with the power of a thousand suns. He was my warmth and my steady hold. He wasn't just my lover, but my friend. And I needed him.