No One Heals Me Like You

Chapter Five

November 2009

They both got dressed and took Clooney for a walk. While they were out Penelope used her cell to call JJ. She asked what they could bring for Thanksgiving, which was the next day, and after insisting that yes they did want to help her with the cooking Penelope jotted down a list.

They went shopping and then home to cook desserts.

All during the day they shared kisses and caresses. After they were done cooking Derek said "Okay, I think you've earned yourself a reward, baby girl."

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes, please," she flirted with him as she opened her arms. "And just where will my reward be placed? I have a few suggestions if you're at a loss for where to start."

He chuckled and pulled her into a tender kiss. "You have a absolutely filthy mind but I love it."

"I know you do. That's the one thing I've never doubted. Now tell me what is my reward and just how exhausted will it leave me?"

He grinned. "Your reward is to get out of this apartment for a little while. Lets go get some dinner, baby girl."

She hugged him for a long moment. "But I like having you here all alone where I can take advantage of you if the mood strikes me."

He grinned and pulled back so he could kiss her nose. "You'll just have to put that sex drive of yours in park for a few hours. Get changed. I'm taking you somewhere nice."

She gave him a sweet look. "First date?"

"Not yet but don't let that stop you from copping a feel."

She giggled and headed off to her bedroom to pick out a dress.

While Derek was placing dirty dishes in the sink his cell rang. He looked at the screen and thought about ignoring it but that wouldn't be fair so he answered "Hey," his tone was filled with a renewed pain. He listened to Tamara talk for a minute and then said "Something happened....my boss's wife died...yeah...He's pretty wrecked but Hotch is strong....Listen, I know we need to talk but for the next few days I'm gonna be busy with all this so I'll have to get back to you about when....Thank you for checking in....Take care."

He knew he'd have to sit down and explain to her that their friendship had to end. He would also have to tell her why he kept holding back from moving beyond a friendship with her. He would have to come clean with the woman he had been trying to help with her grieving but also who he had been using to help him try and forget about where Penelope had been spending her nights.

For now though Derek wanted to focus solely on Penelope. She needed him and he needed her. He was amazed that they had admitted to their love for each other. His heart was still hurting over Haley and for Hotch and Jack but at least it wasn't broken anymore. And at least he didn't have to stay up at night thinking his baby girl was in another man's arms.

Warmth spread through Derek as he thought about how right it felt to hold Penelope as they slept for the last few nights. That is what mattered most right this moment. Holding his girl.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Penelope, Derek and Clooney showed up at JJ's home the next afternoon. Penelope put Clooney in the backyard while Derek carried in desserts and put them in JJ's kitchen. He hung around there to talk to Reid.

Meanwhile Penelope went searching for JJ. She found her in the nursery with Henry. Penelope smiled at the cute outfit her godson had on. "Isn't he just cute enough to eat?"

JJ gave her a small and strained smile. Penelope hugged her. "I know, sweetie, its been a lousy few days."

JJ answered back "Will just doesn't get it and we're snipping at each other constantly."

"You have to let him in."

"He barely knew Haley. He can't understand."

"He loves you. That's all that it takes for him to understand. Don't push him just to feel like you're doing something to be as miserable as you're sure you need to be right now. We can't let our survivor's guilt tear us all apart. We need each other."

"Morgan is staying with you?"

"I asked him to and he hasn't left my side since he came to my office right after he left Hotch's place."

"Do you know what you're doing? Getting all close to him again after the way he's hurt you."

JJ had been the one to have the inside scoop on all of Penelope's love and pain over Derek. That had made her want to protect her friend's heart and she rooted for Lynch to heal Penelope. She did it with the best of intentions.

Penelope said "I've hurt him too. More than he will ever admit. And it will take time to truly get past that for both of us but I need him right now and I'll need him tomorrow and the day after and next year. "

"You need to be careful. You were doing good with Lynch until Derek went and crossed the line with that victim's sister and now this happening...to Haley....You and Lynch could end up pushing each other away and for what? Morgan? He never stepped up before you were hurt. I care about him just as much as any of the team but I care about you too and he can really break your heart if you let him."

"I know that all those years I had a crush on him while he played the field wore on me and you saw the hurt that I went through when my feelings got intense for him and he wasn't ready to be more than friends. I get you wanting to protect me now. But, sweetie, he's not the bad guy in this, okay? I walked into everything from the start knowing who he is. He told me he didn't want to settle down and he told me he had trust issues and he couldn't see himself with one woman ever. Its taken a lot for him to get to where he is now. He tried to step up for me after I was hurt and I shot him down. I just wasn't in a place where I could trust in his words of love back then. Now he's stepping up again and so am I.....I'm dumping Lynch."

"You sure Morgan is stepping up?"

"I'm sure, JJ. He wants everything I want. Without him I'd be a wreck right now. I love him more than ever and I won't push him away out of fear. Not this time."

JJ nodded. She had been putting Henry's shoes on as they talked. She asked her son "Ready to go, big boy?"

He nodded and smiled, reaching for Penelope. She took him in her arms and started talking to him about how cute he was and how smart and how brave.

They all headed downstairs for dinner.

XXXXXXXXXX

The only member of the team to not show up for dinner was Hotch. He had taken Jack to spend the day with Haley's sister. Not able to stand staying there himself, around Haley's family who all loved him but who he felt ashamed to even look at, he went for a long drive to think.

Meanwhile at JJ's house Emily got drunk on wine. Reid offered to give her a ride home and said he would stay the night on her couch, then wake up early and go to his place to get dressed for the funeral. He would swing back and bring Emily with him because her car was going to be stuck at JJ's for the night.

Derek walked Reid and Emily out. Emily was very quiet and shut down. She got in the car and rested her head against the cool glass of the window.

Derek patted Reid's shoulder. "Take care of her, Kid."

"What if I don't know how? What if she needs more than I know how to do for her?"

"You know a lot more than you think. Follow your instincts. She just needs someone to stick by her side."

Reid nodded, solemnly, walked around the car, a hybrid, and got inside.

Derek hung outside JJ's for a while, even though it was cold out, and called his Mom to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving. His tone was subdued. He assured her that he was doing fine and getting through everything, which he had already e-mailed her about, as well as he could. He also told her that Penelope was helping him and that made all the difference.

Fran told him "You'll come home for Christmas and no arguments about it. If you have to work then just come for whatever time you can around the holidays. I need to see my baby boy."

"I'll make it home as soon as I can, Ma. But with Hotch out of the office work is going to be crazy for a while."

"Don't let yourself get run down, you hear me?"

"Garcia wouldn't dare let that happen."

"Then its good that you're leaning on her right now. You know you haven't said much about her in over a year now. What's changed?"

"The last year was a bad one. I was dealing with stuff in my own head and I didn't think I could turn to her. Now I can."

"You know I never saw my boy happier than that first year when she came into your life. Its been a while since then but she's still the same woman, right? Or has too much gone down for you to let her make you that happy again?"

"A lot did go down, Ma, but you're right. She's still my baby girl."