Gwen's POV
She could not believe her ears, that he actually said he only came for her because her mistress had begged him to! She had never felt so rejected in all her life and by the man who she cared about in a way she did not think possible.
Finding Lancelot again had ignited a spark within her that she thought had been long extinguished. He had given her hope of escape when she thought all was lost. There had been no word from Uther for all the days she had been captured and she, correctly, thought that that there would be nothing forthcoming. She had been given up for dead.
Her feelings for the exiled knight both confused and excited her. He was everything that she knew could be attained by a man who did not have the privileges that came with a fortunate birth. Lancelot's daring and bravery were all the more appealing because of the interest that he continued to show in her despite her own genuine attraction towards him. Lancelot could freely give her everything that he could not.
But then, as fate would have it, in her and Lancelot's darkest hour when they faced their doom, he arrived just like the handsome princes always rescued the princesses in all the best children's tales. Still, he was not her prince and she could never be his princess. She had to set more realistic goals for herself and in terms of suitable men, there was one quite literally tied to her.
When Lancelot took her hand that last time, she felt the reassuring, almost proprietary squeeze that he had given and she had gladly accepted it and only belatedly noticed that he and Merlin had also picked up on this new development.
She was flattered by Lancelot's attention but when he had confirmed the unsanctioned rescue mission, her heart had leapt only to be brought back down to earth with a thud at his next comment.
Having her life threatened and being constantly reminded by her captor that she had effectively been abandoned by those who supposedly cared for her jarred her all the more for knowing the real reason for the abandonment. It served only to confirm just how little her life was really worth to the view of the world and to be told that the wish of her mistress was more valuable than her own existence drove home the disparity between the worlds of royal nobility and that of everyone else.
So she did the only thing she thought appropriate. She removed herself from the company, pleading need for rest and tried to curl up next to a fallen tree, ignoring them all as best she could.
Waking up to find Lancelot gone had been difficult to say the least. In her distressed and emotional state, the man who had declared his heart and soul for her had gone with barely a few words of comfort and she could not help but feel deserted by the one person who had promised to always care for her. The tears came unbidden, unleashed by this last act of perceived betrayal.
She knew that there could be no future with the man who had led her rescue and who now remained. Ever since that first kiss which had felt oh-so right, her knees trembled at the memory, her heart beat faster and butterflies fluttered in the pit of her stomach. It was so different to the kiss she shared with the missing knight.
That had stemmed from a shared sense of urgency when it truly seemed that they would never see each other in this world again and it would be their last time together. It had fire and passion but did it make her tremble as with him? Gwen was unsure. That Lancelot had escaped with them gave her hope that she might build a life with him, the attainable option, and she could sweep away any further unrealistic thoughts from her mind.
Truth be told, she cried as much for herself as she did for Lancelot.
The ride back had been torturous, made only bearable by the presence of poor Merlin and the knowledge that she would see Morgana again.
The look that he gave her before he retreated down the stairs from her and Morgana was troubling. It suggested genuine care and affection but now there was also a distance which had not previously been there.