My goodness...I'll be honest, I was expecting a wee bit more excitement over that last chapter. After all, it had taken me to the fourteenth chapter for some hot MerDer loving (probably a record for my stories)! Oh well, perhaps not as many of you were anticipating it as much as I thought! Thanks to snv3, caliginous & Bonnie for letting me know you liked it! This chapter is a little shorter, with some more sweet moments. And yes, we all need a Derek like this one, don't we LOL?
Chapter Fifteen - Pushing the Bad Thoughts Away
Love lift me, wherever you are
Convince me, I'm safe in your arms
Love lift me, I'm waitin' on you
Cause nothing can lift me
The way that you do
Meredith stirred in her sleep, murmuring a little, her body flinching. She tried to sit up, only to discover one strong arm around her waist. Her heart lurched briefly, before Derek's mouth found her shoulder. Instantly, she relaxed, the warmth of his body molded against her reassuringly.
"You okay?" he murmured, his voice soft and sleepy in her ear.
She sighed a little. "Yes, just a bad dream..."
"Do you get those often?" he asked, his hand drifting lower, over her hip.
Meredith bit her lip. "Well...sometimes..." she confessed.
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I was dealing with it. And for a long time, I was okay. Maybe seeing Jack again triggered something..."
Derek pressed another kiss along her shoulder blade. "He won't hurt you ever again. I swear it, Meredith. Here, you're tense, let me help you..." He eased her gently onto her stomach, massaging her back for a moment. Kneading the silky skin, feeling her relax further under his touch. His hands moved down her spine, kissing in random places, finally reaching the flare of her hips. He kissed the small of her back, tongue dancing as his fingers delved between her legs.
Meredith peeked over her shoulder at him, lifting up on her elbows. "Insatiable..." she giggled, as he touched her again.
"Oh, I can stop anytime," he said softly, his breath fanning the moist skin his tongue left behind.
Her hips twitched, lifting upwards as he played with her soft skin, moving along the damp, plump folds. His fingers slid in a little deeper, his other hand gripping her hip, making her rock upwards, legs widening. For a few moments, she felt only sweetness, the little twinge of a climax beginning deep inside of her. Then Derek moved harder against her, his cock bumping at her where his fingers had been. Suddenly, her whole body tensed, and she bit back a little involuntary cry. "No! Oh god...I can't, I can't..." The memories of how Jack had held her against the railing of the deck the night of the party seared her mind. Of the rasp of his voice in her ear, as he pulled at her dress and held her there, vulnerable and helpless. Memories she'd thought were far behind her. She twisted away, a whimper catching in her throat.
"What is it?" Derek immediately backed away, as she fell forward into the pillows. "Did I hurt you...god, I'm sorry..." He raked a hand through his hair, watching her body shake from the sudden onslaught of tears. Feeling helpless for a moment, not knowing what caused her anxiety, he didn't know what to do for her.
"Not...you..." she gasped, curling onto her side, her hair tangled over her face.
"Shh..." he murmured, carefully moving down beside her. "Can I do something? Can you tell me about it.... maybe it will help..."
Meredith gulped, fresh hot tears stinging her eyelids. Instinctively, she inched closer to Derek, letting him fold her into his embrace again. "God...I'm sorry...my fault..."
"It's not your fault, honey. You know I told you, this is all about you...whatever you want or don't want..."
"I wanted, oh god I wanted to, Derek. You've been so good and patient, and I do want this here with you, and it was good before...but..." Her voice trailed off uncertainly.
Derek closed his eyes, holding his breath for a moment, fearing the worst. "But?"
"That night, after the party...Jack tried to force me, he held me up against the railing, ready to take me like that...from behind...oh god, Derek...it was awful."
"Oh honey," Derek rocked her slowly for a moment. "And here I was, putting you in the same position. Damn, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about Jack, and what he did. I wish I could take it all away...all the hurt, all the bad memories. I just want to make you feel good - maybe I rushed you too much." He could feel her tears on his chest, and he kissed the top of her head. She tipped her face up to him, and his heart broke for her all over again.
He smoothed the damp strands of hair away from her face, realizing his feelings for her went so much farther than what she was ready for. She had stolen his heart from the first moment their eyes had met, and he was totally lost in the rush of love he felt for her. And he would do whatever it took to make sure she never hurt again.
"No, Derek, you didn't rush me - how could any guy be as patient as you've been these last few months?" Meredith whispered. "I guess I just need more time to get my head together. But I'm okay with you..."
Derek kissed her forehead, wiping away a trace of tears that leaked from the corner of her eye. "Okay. Look, I promised you dinner, and I've been a terrible host. Maybe we should get out of bed, and actually eat something now. Are you hungry?"
"Starving," she confessed, willing away any lingering bad feelings.
"Can you stay awhile longer?" He glanced at his watch. "It's nearly midnight - will Stormy be okay alone?"
Meredith smiled. "Yes, certainly. He only goes outside if I'm home, and I made sure to leave him enough food and water. I guess I kind of prepared for being out late..."
"You did...?"
Meredith nodded. "I was ready for this, Derek. I want to be here, believe me." She reached up and touched his cheek. "Now, about that food..."
Derek laughed. "No barbeque at this hour - maybe an omelet? I make a pretty good one."
"Perfect."
Awhile later, Meredith sat at the small table, where the candles flickered. Derek sat across from her, soft light dancing along his features. "This is wonderful," she sighed, tasting the fluffy eggs, seasoned just right with chives and diced tomatoes.
"Not exactly gourmet fare..." Derek shrugged.
"Trust me, this is all I want right now. I've had my share of trendy cuisine." Meredith tucked one foot under her legs on the chair. She had taken a few minutes to freshen up while he cooked, and snagged his shirt to wear instead of getting dressed. It looked adorably big on her, the sleeves rolled up and the buttons done up haphazardly. Her hair tumbled over her shoulders, curling between her breasts where the shirt gaped open. Her tongue swiped along her bottom lip, savoring the last remnants of the late meal. It made him hard all over again, thinking of her tongue on other places of his own anatomy, and he shifted on his chair.
As if she were totally unaware of the effect she was having on him, Meredith caught his hot gaze, flushing a little, the fall of her hair across her eyes hiding her own expression. He looked sexy as hell, wearing only an old pair of faded jeans, the candlelight casting shadows along his muscular chest. In her heart, she knew he was so much more of a man than Jack could ever hope to be - and that she was comfortable with him in ways that she had never dreamed of.
"What?" she asked then, as he reached across the table to take her hand.
"You still okay? I can take you home if you want."
"I'm good," she assured him, standing up and coming around the table to join him. She crawled into his lap, giving him no doubt that she was there for him. Holding his gaze, she slowly unbuttoned the shirt, leaning forward to kiss him. Her hot, damp core pressed against the sudden jut of his erection. She kissed his mouth, his cheek, his eyelids, as her hands roamed his naked chest. His whole body responded, every nerve flaring to attention under her delicate touch. Her hips pushed against him, and he let her set the pace, not wanting to do anything to spoil the moment.
"You feel damn good..." he groaned, sliding his hands along her back, under the shirt. Her nipples slid against the hot skin of his chest, nearly making him mindless from desire, as she moved sinuously against him.
"Take me to bed, Derek..."
"Are you really sure about this?" he managed to ask, between kisses, nearly ready to take her right there on the table.
"Very sure..." she whispered, and that was all it took for him to push to his feet, still holding her against him. Still claiming her mouth, managing to find his way to the bedroom without tripping, until they were wrapped together in the sheets again. Losing themselves in the sweet rush of pleasure all over again...