Warnings: hmm, this chapter's quite tame compared to some later ones I have planned...besides the sad misuse of the English language (both intentional and non), the OOC moments, and the fact that this has most definitely not been beta read, there are no warnings.

Heero looked up.

Duo looked up.

Heero looked up higher.

Duo looked up higher.

Duo whistled appreciatively.

Heero suppressed the urge to hit him.

And somewhere, forty feet above them, was the top of the Christmas tree that they had to decorate.

"When Quatre asked us to decorate the tree, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind." Heero glared at the tree as though it had personally offended him. Given Heero's current fragile state of mind, Duo wasn't even remotely surprised. (Being in enemy territory, outnumbered, out armed, with unexplained explosions detonating at frighteningly consistent intervals, tended to made one slightly tense, especially from a former soldier's point of view)

Duo shrugged, one corner of his mouth quivering. Appropriate or not, he'd held his tongue enough for one day. "In all fairness, this is a tree, and we do have to decorate it. It ain't Quatre's fault if you expected something different."

Heero was too busy glaring at the mound of boxes containing Christmas decorations to even glare at him, which was odd as Heero was quite capable of multitasking his glares. Duo sighed, and went to lock the door. The last thing they needed was for the younger members of Quatre's extended family coming to 'help'...or any member for that matter. Given how much trouble it had been to simply walk through Quatre's front door, then find and pry off Heero's 'It' to his rightful owner, decorating the tree was classified as a slightly more precarious situation. Perhaps that was the reason Quatre had pawned off this job on them-- not for their skills by any means, because Duo doubted Heero'd ever seen a Christmas tree before let alone decorated one-- but because they hadn't been in the house long enough for too many people to know they were there-- and what people didn't know about, they couldn't destroy.

"Do you want top or bottom?" Heero asked absently, digging through the box of Christmas lights.

"P-p-pardon?" Duo spluttered, nearly dropping his own box of ornaments.

"Do you want to be on top or bottom?" Heero repeated slowly. You could say it was in a tone he'd use to speak to small children with, but Heero had already demonstrated he hadn't developed any skills to deal with anyone under four feet tall and drooling tendencies.

"Top. Definitely top," Duo began to laugh.

Heero, remaining blissfully oblivious to the context his lover was taking his question, scowled. "If you're not going to take this seriously, I'll be on top," he snapped, grabbing the ladder that was leaning against the wall.

"Love," Duo chuckled, "this conversation is starting to sound awfully familiar."

--GW--GW--GW--

It took them an hour to decorate the huge tree. Heero went to put the ladder outside, and Duo began packing away the unused decorations. It wasn't long, however, before Duo spotted something that disturbed him. Greatly. Given that he was usually the source of all things disturbing, and therefore had proverbial nerves of steel, explained a lot about the current predicament he found himself in. He looked down at his unfortunate discovery, then warily stared up at the massive tree, taking a tentative step backwards.

So far so good.

He took another careful step and looked up even further.

"Eep!" he squeaked. But that was all. His mind was too busy trying to remember all the physics calculations that it'd promptly forgotten at the earliest convenient opportunity after the war. That, and some part of him knew that if he so much as inhaled, blinked or even thought at the wrong moment, disastrous consequences would ensue.

Which of course, is why that was the precise moment Heero decided to reenter the room. Slamming the door behind him.

"Heero! Freeze!" Duo breathed, waving one hand behind him frantically to get Heero's attention. Somewhere far above, came an ominous rustling.

"What is it?"

Duo wanted to flinch, but didn't dare. Heero's voice was too loud...too loud...vibrations...oh good, merciful God... Hail Mary, full of grace...

Duo's eyes redirected back towards the ceiling as he continued mentally reciting his prayer. Surely it wasn't too later to become a believer. "Have you ever decorated a Christmas tree before, Heero?"

"No." Heero's eyes followed Duo's gaze, and looked unimpressed.

"Uh-huh..."Duo nodded nervously, "So that probably why you didn't know that you're supposed to hang the decorations on hooks before you put them in the tree."

"What hooks?"

"These hooks!" Duo hissed, rattling the box that was in his hands.

"Oh."

Duo could tell, from years of practice of deciphering Heero's tone, that his point hadn't yet made an kind of impression. If Heero didn't get the point soon, something else would be making an impression--in Heero's skull if he was lucky, and Duo's if he wasn't.

"Heero, if a two pound, ceramic Christmas ornament falls a distance of forty feet, starting from rest and accelerating with normal gravitational pull, what's the force upon impact?"

"Um, about... Oh."

"Oh? YES, 'OH' !" Duo snapped. From high above, came another, much louder rustle. Duo's mind helpfully supplied the whistling sound of an incoming kamikaze Christmas ornament. He would never admit it, but sometimes there were downsides to having an overly active imagination. But for now...

"Heero, run!"

--GW--GW--GW--

Two hours later, after vacuuming up the glass shards, and running to the closest town to replace the unsalveagable ornaments, they tried again. Heero was placed under strict instructions to hang the decorations in the tree this time, and not just balance them there. Just why Heero thought that a heavy, spherical Christmas bauble would balance on a flimsy tree branch was beyond him.

Duo, implicitly trusting his boyfriend to not make the same mistake again, allowed Heero to decorate the top portion of the Christmas tree. Well, later he would claim it was because of his unwavering trust, but really it was just that Heero, at that high angle, provided Duo with a really. nice. view.

And no one could find fault in his reasoning—it was a well known fact that Heero Yuy, often thought of as the Perfect soldier, wouldn't be so foolish as to make the same mistake twice.

No, Heero would find brand new ways to make mistakes—ones that would make Duo proud.

And as Duo looked up at the finished product, leaning precariously towards them, he would later remember thinking that this was exactly why he didn't like being the one in charge of the missions.

Of course, this realization came much, much later. He was too busy running for his life, as this time the whole Christmas tree came crashing down.

--GW--GW--GW--

Attempt number three was started three hours later, after the carpet was vacuumed (again), a second trip was made into town, a medicinal case of beer was purchased and ingested by Duo, and Heero was given strict instructions not to hang all the decorations on the same freakin' side of the tree.

Just to be perfectly sure that nothing would go wrong this time, Duo-- as much as he admired the view of Heero's ass-- would not allow Heero to be on top again. In fact, he was beginning to feel that Heero wouldn't be allowed on top in any of their extracurricular activities for quite sometime. At least until he sobered up—and after the stress of the day, and given the festive nature of the week, he didn't plan on that happening until the New Year. The late New Year.

The fairy lights were strung first, then came layer upon layer of tinsel, garland, popcorn strings, candy canes and Christmas baubles. The effect was stunning (just as it had been the previous two times) and Duo couldn't wait to see what it would look like with the lights plugged in. Just as they were finishing up, Wufei came into join them, and they all stood back to admire their work.

"Looks good!" he commented, sounding amused. "Took you long enough. Eight hours to decorate one puny tree is pretty pathetic though."

Duo felt a vein pop out at his temple, and suppressed the urge that would result in Wufei becoming the new tree topper angel, complete with a freshly decorated fir tree shoved up his ass.

Wufei went around to the back of the tree and dropped to his hands and knees. The tree shook for a moment as he groped around it, but Duo was sure he'd attached it so securely to the roof that Quatre would have to use a chainsaw to take it down. Finally Wufei came crawling out, looking confused. "Where's the plug for the lights?"

There was a brief pause, as all three men stared dumbly at the base of the tree. Heero saw it first, tugged silently at Duo's sleeve, and point. Duo and Wufei followed Heero's finger, and slowly looked up.

There, consorting with the angel at the top of the tree, was the plug.

A/N: Glad you guys are enjoying this. Next chapter, I think Duo's going to be more then slightly drunk after a day like he's had... Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, means the world to me and it keeps me churning out the chapters!