Title: Sinful Thoughts
Author: Readingmama/Vampiremama
Beta: AcrossTheSkyInStars

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

Continuity: AH/AU
Rating: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself.

A/N- This is a little dark, and hopefully sexy. You have been warned.

Chapter 22

BPOV

The guilt I felt over telling our parents was monumental. I had taken the only family Edward had ever known and destroyed it. Charlie called every couple of weeks but he never talked long. He and Renee were fighting a lot. Edward tried to stay upbeat and told me it didn't matter, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I didn't tell Edward that Renee had been calling me. She was desperately trying to get me away from Edward, telling me I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. I tried to tell her that I wasn't kidnapped but she seemed to think he was corrupting me. If she only knew the devious thoughts I had about him, she would have known it was mutual.

It had been three months since our parents had visited, and with finals coming, Edward and I had been distant. I still loved him with all my heart and soul and I knew that he returned the sentiment. The problem was that our time was limited between classes and studying, and when we did share a few moments, I felt the shame creep in; the shame of pushing him into telling our parents.

I watched him sit at the table as I stirred some sugar into my tea. Shoulders slumped and his hands clutching tightly to his hair, he looked frustrated and yet beautiful. He looked up at me and I could see the longing in his eyes. I'm sure mine mirrored his; all I wanted was to be back to the way we were.

"Come here," he said holding his arm out for me. I walked over and sat in his lap. He held me to him, comforting me for my own mistakes. I needed more than anything to try and let everything just go.

"Is Carlisle still trying to get you over for dinner?" I asked.

Edward's professor slash Alice's Uncle had been calling once a week trying to have Edward over for dinner. They wanted him to come alone, but when he explained that he was taking care of me after my accident, they said to bring me along. We had declined so far as there was just too much we were dealing with and we wanted some time to ourselves. That hadn't been working as well as I had hoped.

It had taken six weeks for my cast to come off and two more after that for Edward to touch me again. I was starting to feel like a nun. We had only been intimate a few times since then and it had always felt awkward. I hated that I felt like I let my best friend down. I missed just talking to him and goofing around.

"Yeah, I told him maybe after exams were over," Edward said noncommittally.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes. Edward was reading his book while I stared at the hairs that came down over his ears.

"Can we go do something fun?" I asked. Edward looked up, a little shocked. It had been a while since we had gone out.

"Yeah." He smiled and stood up, bringing my body with his. The light in his eyes told me how selfish I had been. My guilt had been denying him his happiness. I told myself 'no more.'

"Come on, I know just the place."

There was somewhere I had wanted to go since we had moved to Chicago. It was just what we needed to bring some fun back into our lives. If our parents were going to shun us, then that was their problem, not ours.

Edward went to change quickly before we left as he was dressed in his ratty sweats and a holey t-shirt. I pulled up a map on the internet and jotted down the directions. Edward and I had finally gotten around to selling our vehicles back home and we had bought a slightly used car. We still used the public transit most days but it was a bit of a drive to where we were going so it was better to take the car.

"Where are we going?" he asked as he came out of the bedroom.

"No, way. It's a surprise," I said happy to find myself so excited.

"Mmm, I like surprises," Edward said pulling my back to his chest and then running his nose along my neck. The action made me want to forget about going out but I knew he wouldn't let me at this point.

We loaded into the car and I took off driving. Awkwardly checking the map while trying to keep it hidden from Edward was tricky. When we started getting close to our destination, the signs were all over the place, and Edward was smiling.

I pulled into the massive parking area and we headed towards the main gate. If Six Flags couldn't cure our unhappiness, I didn't know what would.

We spent the afternoon riding rollercoaster after rollercoaster. Edward's hand in mine felt right and I scolded myself for not finding comfort in it earlier. We could only be everything to each other if we let ourselves be.

I pulled him out of the crowd and into a quieter area. I stood and looked up at him, studying the way the sun shone on his skin. If I was blind to any flaw, I prayed never to see it because he was as stunning a man as you would ever find.

"I've missed you," I said, feeling the tug at my heart.

"I know, I'm sorry," he replied.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked, confused.

"I never should have agreed to tell Renee and Charlie. I knew you were on painkillers and…"

"Wait Edward, no, I wanted to tell them."

"But you regret it." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Yes and no. I regret what it has done to you, how it has hurt you. But living without knowing would have eaten at us."

"Is that why you've pulled away from me? Because you think I'm hurting?"

"I can see that you are."

"I'm hurting because I feel like you are going to leave me; that you think that this isn't worth it. Nothing else matters to me but you, Bella."

"I love you so much Edward, I want to give you everything, but I feel like I took your family away."

"You didn't, Bella. Renee did." The truth hung in the air. It wasn't either of our faults. We didn't choose to fall in love with each other, it was fate. Renee chose to act the way she did, it was something she would have to live with.

"Can we go home?" I asked. I needed him, I needed our connection.

Edward took my hand and led me through the crowd. When it became clear that I couldn't keep up to him, he threw me on his back and piggybacked me the way out. I let him drive home as I was feeling emotional and not up to driving; my body literally shaking in anticipation of our connection returning. It had never left, but we had been denying it, and it was determined to come out.

The moment we stepped into the apartment, Edward turned into a different man. Gone was the gentle boy I had grown up with, and before me stood a fierce guardian come to take what was his. My knees weakened at the thought.

He pressed my body up against the apartment door, the look in his eyes almost frightening. His lips met mine with ferocious determination.

"Never fucking do that to me again, Bella. I thought I was losing you."

"Never…ahhh," I breathed as he bit down on my neck.

He thrust his hips against mine, causing the door to vibrate behind me. His hands ran up my body, cupping me roughly.

"Shit, Bella, you're everything. I thought I lost everything." I could hear the crack in his voice.

"I'm right here baby, I'm all yours," I said with all my heart.

He reached around and grabbed my thighs, pulling me up to straddle his body. He then carried me into our room and placed me down on the bed.

"I need you so bad," he cried, his jaw tight.

I clawed at my own clothes, trying to take them off faster. Offering myself to him, showing him I felt the same. He was my everything and I wanted him to have all of me.

I sat there naked on the bed as he breathed heavily, just looking at my body.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he said, his voice loosening up.

I rose up on my knees and pulled his body close to mine. He stood by the bed fully dressed, holding my naked body. I could feel him shaking and I knew what he needed. I pulled his face down so that he was looking in my eyes.

"I love you," I said and then kissed him.

I stood up off the bed and went to the closet. I returned with one of Edward's ties. I handed it out to him and presented my wrists to him. I was going to give all of myself to him and let him take how he wanted. He knew immediately what I was offering and love poured out of his eyes.

He bound my wrists and then laid me down, tying me to the headboard. I lay before him naked and helpless and had never felt more powerful in my life. Edward kissed my body with reverence and then with passion. By the time he plunged himself into me, I was dizzy with desire.

Our bodies moved together by his command and my arms flexing above my head only made it more exciting. I crashed over the edge and Edward followed me soon after. He rolled off me and untied my wrists. He rubbed my arms, alleviating the tension that built up.

"Thank you," he said weakly, ashamed for taking what was offered.

"Don't thank me, Edward; I am yours to take just as you are mine. Would you have denied me what I needed?"

"Never," he replied.

I kissed his lips and stayed snuggled in his arms as we both drifted off to sleep.

EPOV

Bella just 'got' me, like no one else did. The way I treated her that night we made love after Six Flags was abhorrent and yet she accepted it; accepted me. This whole other person came out of me, and to be honest, he frightened me a little. It wasn't tying her up that was repulsive to me, that I wanted to do again. It was the sheer need I had for her, the desire to crawl inside of her and consume her. The feeling was all-encompassing and I felt powerless to control it. I was scared I was going to hurt her and then she showed me her trust by allowing me to tie her up. I fucking loved Bella Swan.

When I awoke in the morning, Bella's body was still curled tightly around mine. I inhaled her scent mixed with mine and it was divine. Her deep breaths turned shallow as I ran my hand along her arm and across her collarbones. I wanted to make up for the previous night, but taking her like a sex-starved deviant wouldn't do. I gently peeled myself away from her and went out into the kitchen.

I located some fruit in the fridge and cut it up while heating the skillet. I stirred the pancake mix with the eggs and milk and then poured it on the heated pan. A few minutes later, I had a warm breakfast and a glass of orange juice on a tray and I headed into the bedroom.

"Hey," she said, looking up at me lazily as I entered the room. She had obviously just woken up mere moments before I entered.

"Good morning, Sweetpea. Did you sleep well?"

"Like the dead." I shuddered at the phrase. "Is that for me?" she asked motioning to the tray I was still holding.

"Oh, yes," I said placing it down in front of her. She pulled herself into a sitting position and put the tray on her lap. I looked down at her and she raised her eyebrows, patting the bed for me to join her.

I felt like I was two steps behind as I wordlessly complied with her request. She moaned as the first bite entered her mouth. I think we all know what happened on my side of the bed.

She quirked her lips into a small smile and held up a piece of fruit for me. I wrapped my lips around her fingers and sucked the fruit from between them. I hadn't meant to seduce her with breakfast, but if she was going to make it so easy, then who was I to say no?

Her hooded eyes met mine and then I saw them sparkle. She looked back down at her plate and continued eating her breakfast. She wanted to play. I quickly threw the blankets over my head and slithered down to the bottom of the bed. I nibbled Bella's feet lightly causing her to squirm and laugh. I continued my path up her leg and her laughter quickly turned into gasps.

Bella quickly became putty in my hands and I was an expert in molding her. I kissed her center once before rolling off and out of the bed.

"Wait. What?" she said, confused at my sudden departure.

"I don't want your food to get cold," I teased with a smirk on my face.

"Edward, so help me, if you don't get back in this bed…"

"Whatcha gonna do?"

Bella shot up out of bed in a flash and sprinted towards me. I held steady as she sprung at me like a jungle cat. Her arms and legs wrapped around me and I held her in place.

"Now what?"

She gave me a mischievous smile, placed her legs down on the floor and grabbed my cock with her hand. She pumped a couple of times before dropping it and turning away.

"I'm not going to do anything," she purred.

It was my turn to pounce and I tackled her to the bed. The game was over, I couldn't take it anymore, and I had to have her. She rolled on top of me and we made quick work of our clothes. Bella rode me while keeping our hands intertwined near my head. Our eye contact remained as we enjoyed a frivolous round in the hay.

Sated and sleepy, I nuzzled on Bella's chest, enjoying the warmth. The phone ringing dragged me from my peace.

"Hello," I said, answering the phone in the other room.

"Edward," Alice answered.

"What's up?"

"I just heard, I wanted to call and say how sorry I am." Her tone was full of pity, something obviously terrible must have happened and I had no idea what it was.

"Heard what? What's wrong?" I inquired.

"You don't know?" she asked incredulously.

"Know what, Alice?" I said, starting to feel frustrated.

"Have you talked to your parents lately?" she hedged.

"I talked to Charlie a week and a half ago. You know Renee won't talk to me, not that I have anything to say to her right now anyway."

Bella appeared at the door and was looking at me quizzically. I pressed the speakerphone button and told Alice that Bella was there as well. I had a feeling that it would be better for us to hear whatever it was together.

"The whole town of Forks is buzzing about them getting a divorce," Alice said apologetically.

"What?" Bella huffed, "Were they saying why?"

"Everyone thinks the Chief has a little something on the side. The guys down at the station keep seeing him sneak off to make phone calls every week."

"He's calling us," I said indignantly. If anyone should be painted bad in a divorce, it should be Renee, and the fact that it wasn't made me angry.

"I figured, but how can he really explain that he has sneak off to call his children in secret?"

Bella's eyes watered up and I knew that she was about to break down. "Listen Alice, thanks for telling us. We have to go now, but we will call you later."

"Okay, I love you guys."

"You too," I replied hanging up the phone.

I pulled Bella towards me and provided comfort the best I knew how. While our news had been the catalyst for this divorce, I couldn't bear to be upset about it. Renee had ceased being the caring and loving mother I grew up with when she stormed out of our apartment months ago.

"This is our fault," Bella whimpered.

"No, Bella, it's not. This is Renee's fault. She made her own choices. I will not believe that our love destroyed anything of substance. If her hatred of our love caused her to destroy her own marriage, then that is on her, not us."

"I just feel bad for dad," she said still crying.

"I know. But she was always toxic for him, wrapped up in good intentions. I always thought her gossiping wasn't malicious but now I know it was. It is who she is. It breaks my heart that she has hurt you again."

"Edward, do you want me forever?" she asked shyly.

"Of course," I answered.

"Okay," she stated.

"Okay?"

"Then it's worth it. Anything is worth it, if I get you in the end." She straightened up and put on her brave face.

We spent the rest of the day whispering terms of endearment and showing each other with affection. There was no way we would let anyone bring us down. Sometimes you have to fight for what is right, and we planned to. We had suffered some casualties in our war but the battle was not lost. We were together, alone but united.