Title: Sinful Thoughts
Author: Readingmama/Vampiremama
Beta: AcrossTheSkyInStars

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

Continuity: AH/AU
Rating: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself.

A/N- Thanks to Claire Bloom (Author of Spellbound) and the ladies over at Fanficaholics Anon for being so awesome. Also, a shout out to Malmo722 who is a great Twitter buddy and a kick-ass writer. If you aren't reading Taste of Blood or Not Dark Yet, you are missing out.

Chapter 24

BPOV

My behavior during the few months after Edward discovered his birth family is not something I am proud of. While my family was being ripped apart, he was getting a shiny new one. I no longer had a brother or a mother but he had acquired a new sister.

I didn't want to be jealous of Tanya, but part of me felt like I was being replaced. Edward had found a job at a high end restaurant and the tips he made allowed him to work a fraction of the time I did for the same amount of pay. He took this time to get to know his new family.

I'm sure he didn't mean it, but it didn't take him long to start developing inside jokes with Tanya. We had spent our whole childhood sharing and knowing everything about each other, and in a matter of a few short weeks, there were things that I didn't know. It made me panic, and my panic made me moody.

"Why can't you just put the toilet seat down," I growled, "it's not like it is rocket science."

Edward looked up at me from the couch, stunned at my outburst. "Sorry, I didn't know it was such a big deal. You never said anything about it before," he replied.

"Well it is," I said, stomping off like a four year old having a temper tantrum. Like I said before, my attitude was not pretty.

Edward gave me my space which both relieved and infuriated me. I knew while I sat stewing in my own annoyance that he didn't have a prayer in winning and I was being unfair. It was just that the all encompassing love that I felt was suddenly threatened. Not that I thought he would leave me, but I didn't want to be one of those couples to whom it didn't matter if they spent chunks of time apart. I wanted him to need me like I needed him, all the time and with every part of my being.

I knew that nothing stayed the same forever. At some point we would have to be detached from the hip, I just didn't want it to be so soon. And I didn't want to be left out of such a crucial part of Edward's life. Carlisle and Esme were kind enough to me, but it was obvious that they wanted to spend the majority of their time with Edward.

Tanya was harder to read. Edward said that she liked me, but I wasn't so sure. She had really taken to having an older brother and Edward took the role seriously, disbanding advice like he was the Dali Lama.

I headed to the bookstore to start my shift. I was closing that night so Edward was having dinner with Carlisle just off campus. I was seething for no good reason other than I was feeling left out once again.

"Hey Felix," I said nodding towards my coworker.

Felix was a fun guy. He was twenty-six years old and managed the shop for his elderly mother. She was forty when she had him and was now suffering from severe arthritis, leaving her unable to run her store. He was a tall and broad man, easily giving Emmett a run for his money. The difference was that Felix couldn't scare a flea. The man was a huge teddy bear that you just wanted to hug every time you saw him.

Felix was filled with a huge amount of useless information like: did you know that the Giant cricket of Africa enjoys eating human hair? Or how about that under the law of Mississippi, there's no such thing as a female Peeping Tom. Or my personal favorite; did you know that a male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is still on? To initiate intercourse, the female rips the males head off. These are just some of the great tidbits of information that he was slowly killing my brain cells with.

"Hey Bella," he replied with a wide grin, "how is my favorite girl doing?"

Felix was also a huge flirt. I knew not to take him too seriously about it though. I had seen his girlfriend Heidi and knew that short, brunette me was no competition for leggy blond her.

"Fabulous as usual," I lied but enjoyed the easy banter.

Business was slow that night and Felix and I spent most of our night chatting by the front till. Whenever it was like that, we enjoyed playing a rousing game of twenty questions.

"Okay, have you ever dated two girls at the same time?" I asked.

"Yup," he said smugly.

"Wait, did they know about each other?"

"Nuh uh Bella boo, my turn," he chided. "Have you ever done anything illegal?"

My immediate thought was no, but then I when I considered it, I didn't know. I knew that Edward was my adopted brother but was what we were doing illegal? My pause was enough of a confirmation for Felix.

"Really!! What was it?" he prodded.

"No," I said, "I don't think I have."

"No way. You have to tell me. Was it shoplifting? Speeding ticket? Did you rob a bank?" I just shook my head and didn't say anything. "I can make you tell me, you know."

Before I had a chance to protest, Felix launched himself at me and started tickling my sides. Laughter burst out from my chest so fast I almost choked on the air.

"Tell me. Tell me," he demanded.

"Never," I laughed.

We were so distracted that we didn't hear the door open. It wasn't until I heard a throat clear that I realized Edward was standing right in front of me. Felix looked up, and taking in the hard expression on Edward's face, he dropped his hands from my sides.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked, feeling the uncomfortable tension in the room.

"I just left Carlisle and I thought I would stop by and see you," he said his words sharp.

"Why don't you take your break now," Felix suggested and I agreed.

Once we had stepped outside the door, Edward grabbed my arm and nearly dragged me over to the alley beside the store.

"What was that about?" he asked sternly, trapping me between him and the wall.

"We were just goofing around. You aren't the only person with new people in their lives," I spat out. My good mood had disappeared quickly.

"I'm getting to know my real family Bella; you are hanging all over some guy."

"Oh no, you did not just say that. I have never been jealous of your and Alice's friendship, even before I knew you were related. And I'm glad to know that I am not your real family Edward." Tears built up in my eyes and I willed them not to fall. I was angry and wanted to win this fight with words, not guilt. I turned my head from him, still trapped by his arms.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he said quietly.

"I feel really left out of your life right now, Edward," I replied, my voice cracking.

"I feel bad about that, I really do, but I want you to talk to me about it. I haven't seen you laugh in almost a month, and when I walked in and saw you happy with him, I just freaked."

"He really is just a friend," I stated.

"I know. It's just that I used to be that friend. The one you talked to and laughed with, I miss that."

"I'm sorry too."

He brought his hand up to my cheek and gently caressed it. He tentatively brought his lips to mine and it felt wonderful to be connected to him again.

"It felt like you were going away, like you found a new home," I said once we broke the kiss.

"Bella, you are my porch light, if you went out I would never be able to find my way home. I love you so much and I want you to be a part of my new life. I want my biological parents to love you as much as I do."

"I want that too." I pulled his face back down to mine and kissed him passionately. He groaned as I poured my apology into my kiss.

I had some growing to do, and now that I was open and honest with Edward, we had a chance of doing that together.

EPOV

Bella's emotions had been all over the board and I really had no idea of how to deal with them. I had never seen her moods swing so rapidly and I couldn't help but think it had to do with me. The problem was that I had no idea what I was doing wrong.

I got a job at a high end restaurant called Eclipse. I had never waited tables before but it turned out I was a natural. A friendly smile and some courteous service allowed me to bring in hundreds in tips a night. I was grateful to have found something that paid so well, it left Bella and I in the clear for our rent. I knew that I would be able to keep the job once we started back at school as well seeing as how I mostly just worked evenings and weekends.

Most of Bella's shifts were during the day so I took that time to get acquainted with my biological family. Esme had a biting sense of humor that I never expected. She was a homebody who loved to cook and cross-stitch. Carlisle and I already had found many things in common. Our habits and mannerisms were eerily similar. It was interesting discussing the nature over nurture aspect with him.

Carlisle was a bright man and he loved to teach. It was obvious from his surroundings that he had a lot of family money. Both of my grandparents on his side had passed, and even though they didn't agree with him marrying Esme, they left him their money. He never really went into what they did, it seemed as if they were in his past and he wanted them left there.

Hanging out with Tanya was a complete surprise to me. We immediately formed a bond and I was struck with how different it felt from the bond I had with Bella. Even when we were young there was more to us than what lay on the surface. With Tanya, I felt the urge to protect her and have her partake of my wisdom. Hey, she was turning thirteen; she would need all the wisdom she could get.

I didn't notice the change in Bella's demeanor right away, but when I look back on it, it was almost instant. When I would return from visiting with my family, she would be snappy and curt. At first, I just attributed it to us not getting to spend enough time together, but soon it became clear that there was more to it than that.

I ignored it as much as I could. I tried at first to be caring and sweet, when that didn't work, I tried biting back, and when that failed, I just went back to ignoring it. The final straw was coming into the bookstore to see her and witnessing her coworker tickling her. Bella and I had always been very trusting of each other, we knew better than to be jealous, but after feeling neglected and picked upon for weeks, I snapped. When she told me that she felt like I was leaving her for my new family, my heart nearly broke.

I vowed to myself to make sure that I included her in my plans. She had spent some time with my biological family but not enough. I needed to make sure that she was loved by them as well, if they couldn't treat my girl like family, then they had no place in my life either.

It was two weeks after 'Alleygate', which is what I had taken to calling it. Bella and I had been invited over to Carlisle and Esme's for dinner. We had talked about how she felt left out, especially around Tanya. It was strange that even though she didn't want to be my sister, she still felt protective in that claim for me. I couldn't blame her though. With our parents divorcing and me finding my other family, she was almost left alone. I wouldn't let that happen though. She was too important to be feeling so small.

"Do I look all right?" Bella asked, spinning nervously in front of me. Even though none of my new family knew about our recent breakdown, she still felt unsure around them.

"You look beautiful," I told her as I took in the sight of her in an emerald green dress. She threw a small sweater over it and slipped on heels, something she rarely did. I couldn't help but notice how nice they made her legs look. Not that they didn't always look good, but the little dip behind her ankle just looked lickable.

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She reached up and slung her arms around my neck. She smiled softly and I bent down to taste her lips. Her warm body pressed against mine was throwing my concentration but I managed to break myself away.

"We better get going," I said, wishing I had just a half hour longer to spend alone with her.

"Okay," she pouted and I chuckled.

I turned on the new stereo system in my car. Carlisle and Esme had given it to me for my birthday. I thought it was too much but they insisted. Bella's legs were vibrating in the seat next to me and all of her nervous energy was rubbing off on me.

"It's going to be fine," I said, placing my hand on her leg. My touch soothed her and she stopped writhing in her seat.

"I know…I just….this means so much to you and I just want to be there with you. I don't want it to always be that you have to go off on your own when it comes to your family."

"Bella, you are my family and so that makes them your family too. You'll see, once they get to know you, they will love you."

"How could they not?" she teased and I was glad to see that she was letting some of her anxiety go.

"So Bella, why don't you tell us what it was like growing up with Edward," Carlisle suggested.

We had retired after dinner to the living room and were sitting comfortably on the couches. I knew that he was attempting to include her in the conversation and I really appreciated it.

"Well it was an adventure, that's for sure," she said laughing, "Edward was always very protective of me and so we tended to have a lot of fights with the neighborhood kids. One of them would steal a toy or pull my hair and Edward was there defending my honor. I'll never forget the time when little Lottie Brauer gave him a fat lip."

Esme raised her eyebrows and Carlisle looked like he was holding in a laugh. What happened was this: Lottie, or Charlotte Brauer was the daughter of evil, and when she was five, she took a pair of scissors and cut off Jane Stromboski's ponytail. When she was six, she poured a bottle of hair remover on her brother's head because everyone said how nice his hair was. So at age seven, when I seen her walking up behind Bella with a pitcher of juice, I was sure that she was going to dump it on her. I ran up behind the little monster and yanked down her pants. She stumbled and fell, spilling the just of juice all down her chest.

"Edward, what did you do that for?" Bella cried as she turned towards the commotion.

"She was going to…uh…." I stammered.

So as it turned out, Bella had asked Lottie to bring her out some juice and I had stepped in and made a giant jerk of myself. When Lottie righted herself and had pulled up her pants, I went to apologize. I only got the "I'm" out before she slugged me in the face.

"I thought she was going to dump juice on you," I grumbled and Tanya broke out laughing first. "Don't you laugh; you don't know the fun you missed out on."

When my words came out I regretted them. A heavy silence fell on the room. I hadn't meant to bring guilt about the adoption. Even though it might have been easier with Bella if we hadn't have grown up together, I wouldn't trade a minute I had with her, ever.

"Edward, there is something we would like to discuss with you," Carlisle said breaking the silence.

"Sure," I replied.

"As you can see, we are very well off. Esme and I feel bad about having to give you up, even though it was the right thing at the time. We would consider it a gift for us if you would let us pay for your education."

I sat back stunned. I had not seen this coming. Sure, late a night I had fantasized what it would be like to have grown up with all their money but I never actively wanted it. I just wanted to know them and find out a bit more about myself.

"I already have a college fund set aside by my parents. I appreciate your offer but it's really not needed. Your time is worth more to me than your money," I said honestly.

"And we appreciate getting the time with you as well," Esme spoke.

"Well we would really like to do something. What if we bought you two an apartment? You could choose whatever you liked."

I heard Bella take a gasping breath. Their offer was really more than I expected. I looked over to her and she gave me a small nod. One that I was sure said, 'take the freaking apartment, Edward!'

"That would be much appreciated. Thank you both," I said earnestly. The words didn't seem like enough but how do you respond when people you have barely known for a few months offer to buy you a home. Any sentiment seems lacking.

"Does this mean I get an apartment when I move out too?" Tanya whined and the room broke out in laughter.

E/N- Thank you to my fabulous beta who gave me the praying mantis fact.

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