Disclaimer: Not much left to go now…
21. Disagreements
Sam could feel someone shaking his shoulder and telling him to wake up. He cracked open an eye and bolted off the sofa he'd been sleeping on, brandishing the knife that had been stashed under the pillow, ready to attack.
Esme jumped back, eyes wide and clamping her hand to her mouth as she bit back a scream. Her face was one of shock, surprise and fear. Sam felt a wave of disgust wash over himself as he relaxed his tense stance and tossed the knife on the blanket he'd been using last night.
"Esme, I'm sorry." He apologized, shame welling up and burning sourly in his stomach. "I forgot where I was and saw vampire… and… I'm really sorry."
She took her hand from her mouth and eyed the knife sadly. "It was under your pillow. I thought you were beginning to trust us."
"No, no, no, no, no, Esme." Sam stepped forward and rested a hand on her arm to reassure her that that was not how he felt. "My brother and I have always slept with knives under our pillows – ever since we were kids. It's habit."
"Most children sleep with teddy bears."
Sam huffed darkly. "To tell you the truth, I never had one. We didn't get those kinds of luxuries when we were kids."
"You poor dear." Her face softened and she patted his arm. "I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you."
"I always wondered why we couldn't live a normal life like everyone else." Sam sat back down on the sofa heavily. Talking about his upbringing always touched a sore spot in him and now was no different. But he gave a heavy sigh as he scrubbed a hand over his face. "It took a demon killing my girlfriend right in front of me that made me realize that what me and by brother do is important."
Esme sat down next to him and placed a cold hand on his arm. "I'm so sorry about your girlfriend Sam." She said softly and he could tell she meant it. "I think you're very brave to do what you do. You were going to risk your lives to save a girl you don't even know."
"And poisoned your family while we were at it." He muttered bitterly.
"You came to a place where you expected danger, and stayed, even though your instincts tell you not to." She eyed the knife again.
"My instincts aren't telling me to be wary of you Esme." He insisted. "You're good people. Better than a lot of humans I've known." And hell if that wasn't the God's honest truth.
She seemed a little embarrassed by his words, looking away and running a hand through her hair. "Thank you Sam. You have no idea how much that means to me." She really was too nice for words. She looked off towards the southern glass wall. "I hope your brother is alright."
"Did he stay outside all night long?" Sam asked, frowning.
Stubborn asshole.
"He went to sleep in the car I think." She bit her lower lip in worry, a gesture so human that for a moment Sam forgot she wasn't one. "The poor thing must be freezing. Should I make him some coffee?"
"He'd like that. Thank you Esme." Sam felt the ball of shame in his stomach give him a nudge. "Esme, you have been nothing but kind to us – even though we don't deserve it."
"You're going to fight for my family. There isn't anything that I wouldn't offer you that was in my power to give." She gave a soft chuckle of laughter. "Coffee is a small price to pay."
Something that was gnawing at him since last night would not leave him alone, so he looked sidelong at her and said, "Can I ask you something Esme?"
"Of course Sweetheart – what is it?" And Sam was again hit by how motherly she seemed, even though physically she wasn't much older than him. He idly wondered how long she'd been a vampire.
"Last night, when we were talking about souls – you didn't give your opinion on the matter." He looked her full in the face. "Do you think you lost your soul?" The thought of this lovely and kind woman not having a soul was heart wrenching to him.
"I think I got my soul back when I was turned." She whispered softly.
"What do you mean?"
She took a deep breath, seeming to put her thoughts in order. "When I was human… my husband was a monster. He was a drunk, he was mean and he was abusive. He caused two miscarriages before I was able to come to full term. He was a beautiful baby boy and I thought that things would get better now that we had a son to raise. I couldn't have been more wrong. Only a week after the birth, we were at home and he was drunk again. The baby was crying and my husband was so angry at his crying that he grabbed him out of my arms and started shaking him to make him stop. My baby was only a week old and he died in my arms. I tried to tell the authorities what happened, but they did nothing. The police and my husband were old friends and it was a 'Good 'ole Boys' club and they would do nothing. Said that I was hysterical and lashing out because Norman would never harm a child – even though they'd all seen the bruises he used to give me. I couldn't bear to go home and look at the beast that had killed my child, and there were so few options for women in those days. I threw myself off a cliff that very evening."
Her terrible story was running circles in his head because the thought of that ogre of a man laying his hands on her made the edges of his vision turn black. Her words finally started catching up to his brain. And abusive husband, dead child…
"You committed suicide?" He whispered.
"I tried. They thought I was dead and took me straight to the morgue. Carlisle was there and realized that I wasn't gone yet and he snuck me out of there and turned me."
"And you got your soul back?"
"I believe so. I have everything in death that I didn't have in life. I have a loving and wonderful husband, I have a family that I would do anything for, and I have happiness. The cravings and the self-denial are a small price to pay for all I've been granted. But I do believe that if I were to die again, I will have much to answer for."
"What do you mean?"
"I killed a man once." She whispered. Sam had difficulty believing that the kindly woman next to him was capable of murder. "It was my former husband. I went there to confront him about killing our son. I wasn't there for revenge, I just wanted him to know that I knew what he did, that I'd always know, and that someday he'd have to face judgment for his crimes."
"What happened?"
She started twisting her fingers around themselves as she spoke. "He was afraid of me and tried to attack me. I wasn't used to my new strength yet and I fought back. I hit him and sent him sprawling to the floor. But he hit his head on the counter and started to bleed and I lost control."
Sam didn't know why she felt such guilt and remorse at killing that bastard of a man. He deserved far worse in his mind for the things he'd done. And it wasn't as if Sam had never gone searching for vengeance. Images of Jake's dead body in front of the Devil's Gate in Wyoming were burned into his retinas. He'd been stupid, turned his back on the guy and got knifed in the back. He died in his brothers arms and look what his stupidity got him – Dean selling his fucking soul to get him back. His brother was always the most self-sacrificing person he'd ever known, and when Sam had woken up on the dirty, filthy mattress in a rundown shack – perfectly healed – he knew that Dean had done something. He just didn't know how drastic Dean had become facing a life without his baby brother.
And the person who might have the answer to Dean's salvation was sitting right next to him. He wrapped a giant hand over her ice cold one and squeezed. "It's not your fault Esme."
She squeezed back and Sam could feel the strength in her fingers. "You sound like Carlisle." She took a sad breath. "I will someday have much to pay for – but the shame and guilt of killing that beast of a man and drinking his blood is enough to ensure I will never harm another human again."
"Was it hard for you to learn to live as Carlisle does?" He needed to know how to survive the transformation and not feed on humans.
"It was very difficult. The cravings are all you can think about, and I sometimes have trouble reigning them in. I just have to remember the disgust I felt for myself from feeding off my former husband. It always works."
"You're not the only one that will have much to answer for someday, Esme. I've killed people too." The way Jake's body wracked when Sam emptied a clip into him was on instant slow-motion replay in his head.
"You save people too. That has to count for something." She insisted.
"I wish Dean would just talk to you without all that prejudice in his heart. He'd see you more clearly."
"He sees us pretty clearly now." She whispered, dropping her head and glancing away.
Sam squeezed her hand in his. "You're not a monster Esme. The fact you live as you do proves that."
She ran her free hand through her hair and sighed. Pulling out of his grip, she said, "I really should start that coffee for you and your brother." She stood up and walked into the kitchen. Sam had enough experience with that kind of exit that he knew not to follow her or press the subject. She needed time to herself.
Groaning, he heaved his large frame off the sofa and stretched the kinks out. Grabbing his coat off the back of the sofa, he slipped out the patio door to go out and get his brother.
Embry was curled up on the deck next to the plate glass window and he picked his head up off his paws as the door opened. He gave Sam a soft growl and Sam knew that he deserved it. The guy had slept on the deck instead of somewhere more comfortable because of him.
"Sorry man." Sam apologized, "...but I needed to talk to them last night." Embry gave him another low growl in response. Sam huffed, knowing he wasn't going to catch a break from the guy anyway so he asked, "Dean in the car?" Embry nodded his giant head and whacked Sam in the shins with his tail when he walked past him. He grunted in pain, rubbing a hand along his shin and groused at the wolf, "Thanks man. Real mature." Embry ginned at him and whacked him a second time. "Dude, don't make me pull my piece." Embry just rolled his eyes at him and jumped down from the deck and trotted into the trees. He shook his head at the retreating wolf before walking along the grass to where the car was parked.
It was still cold out, and there was a thin layer of melting frost on the windshield of the car. Sam shook his head at his brother's stubbornness of sleeping in the freezing car instead of coming inside. He could see the top of his brother's head pillowed against the lowest part of the window, and Sam knew from experience that Dean was gonna have a hell of a crick in his neck because of it. He raised a hand and gave the driver's side window a sharp series of taps. Dean jerked awake, turning a confused look towards the window, but Dean's wasn't the only head that popped up at the wake-up call. Leah's dark brown eyes appeared on the other side of the glass, lifting her head from his brother's chest, and Dean turned confused eyes on her. Sam could only guess that the look of embarrassment on his own face matched the one on Leah's so he turned on his heel and walked back to the house as fast as he could.
Dean could worry about his own coffee because apparently he hadn't had to worry about freezing to death last night
"Ahh... Leah?" Dean asked slowly, confusion and uncertainty clouding his voice. His jacket was wide open and her head had been pillowed on his chest with her arm snaked across his stomach. He didn't remember her joining him last night and he knew that he should but he couldn't remember a damn thing. "…Am I dressed?" Cuz her legs were twinned around his and he honestly couldn't tell if he was wearing pants right now.
"Yes." Embarrassment was clear and thick in her voice.
"Are you?" He asked because the blanket was up around her shoulders and he couldn't tell if she was wearing anything.
"Yes." She narrowed her eyes at him in confusion and embarrassment. She sat up, taking the incredible heat with her and grimacing when the cricks in her joints became known. Dean could see the familiar red t-shirt on her now and breathed a little easier.
"So… we didn't… you know…?" He stuttered awkwardly. He hated to ask but he wanted to know and he was drawing a huge ass blank right now. He felt like he was coming off a mother of a bender.
"No." She looked away from him, and damn didn't she look like she wanted to melt into the seat right about now.
"That's good." He sighed, reaching an arm around her shoulders to pull her back against him so he could greedily soak up the heat that was Leah. He felt as if there was a column of ice imbedded in his spine and there was a part deep within him that was freezing.
"It's good that we didn't sleep together?" She laughed nervously.
"Well, technically we did sleep together." He chuckled, liking how she seemed to relax against him at that moment. "It's just that if we did anything more than that… I'd want to remember."
"Trust me…" and Dean could hear the smirk in her voice as she spoke, "…you'd remember."
"No doubt." His body rumbled with the chuckle that passed through him. Leah sank into him and rested her head against his chest, seeming to be listening to his heart beating and memorizing the sound of it. She started tracing light patterns over his heart. It tickled slightly and he started humming the chorus to Van Morrison's 'Tupelo Honey' for some reason that he didn't quite understand but Leah didn't seem to be complaining. He rubbed his cheek against her hair and smelled her in. The Leah tendrils were very happy right now.
Dean wasn't a cuddler – he was a get-the-hell-outta-Dodge kind of guy – but since he didn't sleep with her last night anyways, it didn't really matter. And it felt nice to just hold her and enjoy the moment because they both knew what was coming later that morning – a battle of unknown certainty
"Not that I'm complaining," he started, "…But what are you doing in here? I don't remember anything."
"Aahh…" she stammered, "…you were having a nightmare."
Dean's heart stopped right there as images started to flash behind his eyes. "A nightmare?" Leah seemed to notice the shift in the atmosphere and sat up, taking the warmth with her. Dean almost reached for her to pull her back but let his hands drop, sitting up painfully himself.
"More like a night terror." She amended.
"Did I say anything?" He asked, trying to sound vaguely uninterested instead of on the verge of panic.
Please let me have kept my fucking mouth shut… Please let me have kept my fucking mouth shut…
Leah looked away as she answered, "Not that I could make out," she lied, and god fucking bless her she didn't press him for anything else. Sammy would have been peppering him with questions that he would never answer, but Leah was giving him a free pass. And it struck him then how much Leah got him. Like, really got him.
She was fidgeting in her seat slightly, knee pulled up to her chest and the nightmare was coming to him fast and furious now. Of the laughing demons, the frozen hell, of the torture and the hellhounds and the daggers made of ice. And he remembered something coming to save him but he couldn't place what it was. All he remembered of the creature was the brilliant light that was pouring off it that blinded him.
He pushed the fear and the panic down because he knew Leah could sense it. Striving for control, Dean grabbed a discarded receipt off the floor and a pen out of the sun visor. He jotted down a number on the piece of paper and pressed it into her hand.
"What's this?" She asked, frowning at the number.
"Leah… I want you to promise me something."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "If you're gonna ask me not to fight today you sonofabitch - forget it." She snarled.
He laughed softly at that. It wasn't as if he hadn't considered that, but he wasn't dumb enough to voice his concern to her. Embry was right about her temper and he liked having his boys attached.
"No… It's not that," he shook his head. Taking a deep breath he plowed on because there was no turning back now. "Leah, if things get bad up there, I want you to run."
"You want me to what?!" She demanded – rage and anger clear in her voice.
Dean grabbed her hand and fisted it over the scrap of paper in her palm. "I want you to run." He repeated. "You're the fastest and they won't catch you. I want you to get out of there and call that number and tell my buddy Caleb what happened. He'll get the rest of the Brotherhood up here fast and they'll go after Victoria and her Newborns and take them down before they go on a killing spree and drain off the entire Pacific Northwest." Dean drew another deep breath, feeling the anger roiling off her and making the Leah tendrils shrivel inside him. "And you'll need to tell him about the Volturi coming , to warn him about keeping an eye out for them because I think that if the Volturi know that the Brotherhood still exists, they'll go after everyone and lots of good people will die."
"You can't ask me to run away." She whispered angrily.
"Think of your mom, Leah." He pressed even when she ripped her hand out of his grasp.
"Don't," she hissed, looking like she wanted to haul off and slug him one. Her dark eyes went black and her fists were balled and shaking on her lap.
"Think of her and all the people in Forks and La Push who are gonna suffer if we can't stop these sonsofbitches today.
She gave him one last hard glare before she shoved the door open and launched herself out of the car. Vibrating with anger, she slammed the door so violently that the heavy car rocked. He watched as she stalked angrily into the trees before he looked down and saw that his own hands were shaking.
At least she still had the piece of paper in her hands when she left.
The only sound was the throaty growl of the Impala tearing up the dirt road, and the swishing of the wiper blades as they fought the heavy mist that was falling. Neither brother wanted to speak first, content to stew in their own anger. Naturally, Sam broke first.
"You don't have to be so mean to the Cullens you know." Speaking of how Dean had less than politely declined the coffee that Esme had made for him. In his own defense, it was only a minute after Leah had stormed off and he was still a little rattled about the demon dream.
"What part of vampire do you not understand Sammy?"
"Well then what about the wolves, huh?" Sam fought back.
"The wolves don't eat people Sam." Dean said through clenched teeth.
"Neither do the Cullens!"
"They're sharks in a kiddie pool Sam."
"They're trying to make the most of their predicament." Sam defended them.
"Okay, I'll grant that they aren't actively hunting people, but I don't trust them an inch and neither should you."
"Some of the wolves have tried to attack us twicesince we made the treaty with them. The Cullens haven't done squat."
"That's only because Leah's ex has a problem with me." He waved a hand dismissively. "Besides, you saw how they all worked together when the vampires showed up yesterday." He hid the shudder that started to build when he remembered the way the wolves tore into the vampire. "They won't allow anything to come between them and their fucking job."
"I think you're being blinded by how you feel about Leah."
"What are you talking about?" Dean didn't think it was possible for him to be getting angrier.
"You like her." Sam accused him.
"Of course I like her." He said derisively. "Have you seen her? She's smoking."
"I mean more than that." Sam crossed his arms defiantly across his chest.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He muttered mutinously.
"Of course you don't." Sam looked angrily out the side window and Dean was pissed because Sam was seeing way more than he was supposed to.
"Well what about the way you're all best friends with Carlisle and Esme now, huh? Pretty damn chummy if you ask me."
"They're nice people."
"You know who else were nice people?" Dean didn't wait for a response as he shot forward. "The Pagan-God couple we ganked back at Christmas. Do you remember them Sam?" He sneered. "They were real nice… up until they tried to sacrifice us!"
"This is different and you know it."
"I don't think it is Sam. And I think you're unwilling to see it."
"I think you're the one that's unwilling to see it, so can we drop this until later please?" Sam growled, clearly as pissed as he was. "We have an army to take care of you know."
"Fine. But do not think for one second that you and I are spending the day at the Cullens' drinking Mai-tai's when this shit is over."
"Fine." Sam crossed his arms and looked angrily out the widow the way he'd done since they were kids. The guy was pissed and time was running out and Dean felt like shit because doubt and fear were gnawing at him.
After a few minutes, Dean said what had been bothering him since they started this insane plan to fight with the vampires. "Sammy, if shit gets bad up there, I want you to run."
"What?!" Sam rounded on him angrily.
"I want you to run for it and call in the cavalry. We'll need the others here to take out the Newborns before they kill of the entire Pacific Northwest."
"No." Sam's jaw went tight and his eyes went black as his brow furrowed in anger.
"Look Sammy. If I die up there? Fine. I'm on borrowed time as it is. But I will not go to hell knowing that you're already dead." Because Dean wouldn't think twice about dying to save him – that was for damn sure.
"I won't do it Dean," came Sam's pained whisper. "You can't ask me to run away and fucking leave you there."
"You'll do it because you have to." Dean grunted. "And because I asked you to."
They were standing in a loose group in the clearing. Dean, Sam, Esme, Carlisle, Embry and Leah. The rest of the wolves and vampires were scattered around the edge of the clearing to head off any retreat made by the incoming army. Sam had giving his scent amulet to Alice before leaving the house so that she could scout out the mountain pass without being sniffed out by the Newborns. They were hoping that up there and away from the interference of Sam and the wolves, she'd be able to get a clearer vision of what was coming their way and when.
Dean could feel Leah just behind him. Could feel her with every cell in his body if he was gonna be completely honest with himself. They wouldn't ride to the fight with them, and ran to the dirt road and met them at the head of the deer-trail they'd been using to hike up to the clearing. He turned to glance at her and he caught her dark brown eyes looking back at him. Leah seemed to be doing everything in her power to avoid him, so the eye contact was an unexpected bonus. He gave her a wink and a cocky smirk, earning one in return. He let the smirk die on his face and mouthed the word 'run'. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before giving him a shallow nod.
That's my girl.
At least she would try to get out. He could only hope that she and Sam would get out while they could so that they could warn the other hunters. It wasn't as if he couldn't tell Caleb about all this himself – but the conversation with his friend this morning hadn't gone over well, as Caleb called him a fucking moron for fighting with the vampires and the wolves, and for not waiting for him and the others to come and back them up. So Dean had opted to not tell him about the Volturi, or the wolf attacks, or how Sammy was BFF's with the Cullens now. Caleb's blood pressure couldn't handle that shit.
Dean hefted his crossbow in his arms, his machete hung at his waist and he had several knives stashed everywhere on his body. Everything was sharp, everything was coated in dead-man's blood, and everyone in and around the clearing was vibrating with apprehension.
The wind picked up and the wolves started pawing restlessly at the ground, growling softly and looking off towards the mountains.
Doc's phone must have rang because he had it pressed to his ear. He gave a grunt of acknowledgement before pressing a button on the cell, saying, "We're ready," and flipping the phone shut.
"The first one was Alice." He said to them. "She said that they're coming and they're coming in fast. The vision cut out before she saw Victoria though. The second was Edward. The Newborns caught Jacob's scent and are chasing him now. He's leading them straight for us."
That explains why the vision cut out.
The pack mind meld thing must have been running on high gear because Leah and Embry were practically drooling for the fight headed their way – the fight their friend was leading right for them.
"How long do we have Doc?" Sam asked.
"A minute? Two?" He offered.
Dean pulled a clean knife from his boot. He folded back the sleeve of his jacket on the arm that he didn't slice to pieces on the scent-trail yesterday. Holding the knife to his skin, he glanced up at Esme. "I wanna bring those fuckers right to us." He stated. "Are you gonna be okay if I do this?"
She turned away from him and glared at the far end of the clearing. "Do it." She hissed.
Dean raked the blade across his skin, carefully keeping an eye on Esme as he did it. Her shoulders were tense and her posture was rigid, but apparently, vampires could ignore the scent of human blood if they had something colossal enough on their mind. It wasn't a deep cut, just enough to spill a little blood and bring those blood sucking fucks straight at them because he wanted them full of blood lust and acting stupid. He didn't want them to realize they had run into a trap.
He placed the blade back into his boot, hefted the crossbow to his eye and willed the adrenaline running a marathon in his veins to keep his aim true.
"They're coming." The Doc whispered.
A/N: Sorry about the delay in posting this. I switch back and forth between my PC and my laptop when writing, and use a flash drive to stash my work. As I was giving the chapter a final review so that I could post it, my laptop got possessed by a vengeful spirit and went haywire on me. When I got it back running, the open file (this one) was toast and I had to re-write it from scratch! I mean, it was nothing but those little box-like characters in place of all the letters and punctuation. I can't tell you how much that sucked, and I was up till the wee hours of the night typing because there were parts of the chapter that were still fresh in my mind from just reading the chapter over. I know I lost a lot of good lines and descriptions that I had, and I hope that this new offering isn't sub-par to your expectations of me. I hope to make it up to you next week with the big fight scene ;D
And if you're unfamiliar with Van Morrison's 'Tupelo Honey' you can youtube it or listen to it on Jango. It's lovely and it suited that brief mood in the Impala beautifully.