A/N - brace yourselves guys, angst fest from here on!
Samantha and Vivienne found a comfortable waiting room complete with coffee machine and vending machines on the fifth floor close to the Surgical Units. They each sat and waited on news of their supervisor. They were the only two in the waiting room. They hardly spoke, each knowing that words would not make them feel any better. The silence was deafening. Thankfully it was shattered by the shrill ring tone from Vivienne's phone.
"Agent Johnson," she said as she answered it.
"Vivienne, its Maria Malone. I've just been watching the news reports about the explosion at your building. I can't reach Jack. Is he with you?" she asked sounding concerned.
"Maria!?" Viv said loudly enough to get Samantha's attention. Sam looked up immediately at the mention of the former Mrs. Malone. "I, eh, I should have called you. I don't know what I was thinking," Viv said apologetically.
"Called me? What's happened Vivienne? Where's Jack?" she asked her voice raising an octave.
"I'm at the hospital, Maria. Jack was caught in the blast. He's undergoing surgery now," Vivienne informed her. There was stunned silence on the other end of the line as Maria digested the news.
"Maria, are you still there?" Viv asked.
"Yeah, yes I'm here," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "How bad is it, Vivienne?"
"From what I'm led to believe, it's pretty serious. He has suffered a penetrating wound to his abdomen and crush injuries," Viv told her.
"Oh my God! What am I going to tell the girls?" Maria asked sounding distressed.
"Maybe don't say anything until we know more. I'll call you as soon as he's out of surgery," Vivienne promised. Maria thanked her and hung up. Viv turned to Sam.
"How did she take the news?" Sam wondered.
"She's naturally upset and worried for her kids," Viv replied. "She doesn't know what to tell them." Sam nodded in understanding and felt very sorry for Jack's two little girls. They loved their Dad so much. It was hard for them to be so far apart from him and vice versa. But at least he would make a point to visit as often as his job allowed. How would they cope if he didn't make it? No, she wouldn't allow herself such thoughts. Jack was going to make it. He had to.
She sat there and allowed her mind to drift back to the first time she and Jack got together. It was accidental really. She had been with the team a couple of years and had always been attracted to Jack even though she knew he was married. He was good looking, capable, confident and a good person. He bent and broke rules in order to get the jobs done. She liked the risk taking. She had caught him checking her out on more than one occasion during their few years working together but Jack had always kept their relationship purely professional. Then one night after a particularly tough case the whole team went out for drinks to unwind. One by one their group dwindled in numbers as individuals called it a night and soon she and Jack found themselves sitting side by side in the corner of a bar, just the two of them. Jack made a joke about such situations being how rumours got started. Sam told him to loosen up and she reached across and took hold of his tie and loosened the knot. Suggestively she kept hold of his tie and found her self gazing into his seductive hazel eyes. He held her gaze and she realised there and then what she wanted. Using his tie, she pulled him closer to her and placed her lips on his. He hesitated momentarily but then gave in to the desires that he had been battling for so long. She felt electrified as their passion ignited at last. At the time they had no idea what they had started. That night she took Jack back to her place and they spent their first night together. She often wondered what excuse he gave to his wife the next morning for not going home. He never said and she never asked. Whenever they were together he made a point of not speaking about Maria or the girls. Samantha was glad. It made her feel less of a home wrecker and allowed her to imagine that they had a straight forward, uncomplicated relationship.
At work their professional relationship never changed. He was her boss and she treated him and respected him as she should. Their liaisons were always discreet. No one suspected anything as far as either of them could tell. However as things became more difficult for Jack as his marriage began to disintegrate he decided to take a step away from their relationship. He decided for his children's sake that he should commit himself more to his marriage. Sam was heartbroken. Her feelings of hurt surprised her. She had never envisaged the marriage and kids thing with Jack but then seeing how he was prepared to try so hard to save what he had, it made her jealous. Deep down Sam wished that she was Maria. Maria was going to have Jack in her future. That was what Samantha wanted more than anything.
After that it was hard for her to spend every day at the office with Jack and stay focused on their work. Sometimes she felt like he was avoiding her, especially when it seemed like she was always being teamed up with either Danny or Martin and rarely with Jack. Then after months of this awkwardness, she was in his office one day and he mentioned to her that he had moved out of home. She couldn't hide the fleeting little smile that crossed her face. Was this what she had waited for? But when he told her that he had moved out over three months previous, she felt hurt. Three months! Why hadn't he told her before now? Why didn't he call her? She felt so hurt and confused. She no longer knew where she stood in his life, if indeed she had a place there at all. He never tried to talk to her. It was almost as though he just shut down. And this was how they currently stood. On a few occasions she felt a glimmer of hope when he let his guard down and opened up to her. It might only be a comment or a fleeting touch but to her it was progress. At least she hoped it was.
And now this had happened. What if she never got the chance to tell him how she felt? She closed her eyes and joined her hands and offered up a rare but heart felt prayer that the man she loved would be spared. Vivienne watched Samantha and realised that she was praying. She had never taken Samantha to be religious. She had never heard her speak of church or beliefs but it was usually only during testing times that people realise their beliefs and needs. She decided to join her in a silent prayer for their colleague. As the two women sat in silence they were joined by the rest of the team.
Danny sat close to Vivienne, his face had been cleaned up and his head wound stitched. Elena sat with him and held his hand, sensing how worried he was for Jack. Martin lowered himself into the chair beside Sam. He placed his hand on her joined hands just to remind her that she wasn't alone. He knew how she felt about Jack. He felt the same about Sam but knew he wouldn't stand a chance given the strength of her feelings for Jack. Sometimes he resented how Jack treated her but knew better than to interfere. Jack was a good man, had always been good to him but he was a troubled man. He tended to get too involved with his cases. He carried the ghosts of those they lost with him, he knew that. He lacked the ability to separate his life from his job and he had suffered as a result. Now Martin hoped that his job didn't cost him his life.
They sat restlessly in that waiting room. Minutes turned to hours and still they waited until eventually a surgeon still dressed in his theatre scrubs entered the room. Samantha and Danny got quickly to their feet. Sam tried to read the expression on the doctor's face.
"Are you here for Jack Malone?" he asked looking around the room. They all replied yes.
"I'm Dr. Eastman. I operated on Agent Malone. The surgery went as well as could be expected. The object perforated his colon and when we removed it we experienced a few problems controlling the bleeding but we got it under control. We've packed the abdomen and he stabilised. Because of the high risk of infection with such an injury we've left the incision open so we can effectively combat any infection. Dr. McKay, our Orthopaedic Surgeon spent a lot of time working on his leg. The femur was badly damaged but he's pinned it and with physio he should regain full use of the limb. Right now our biggest concern is the risk of post op complications. As well as the risk of infection there's the added risk from the crush injuries. He will require round the clock monitoring as the proteins released from crushed muscle can result in kidney failure," he explained.
The doctor obviously noticed Samantha's expression change when he mentioned that.
"Oh, don't worry. We'll be watching for the slightest sign. His condition is still critical and he's being moved to the Intensive Care Unit where he'll be on hourly obs. As soon as he's settled in I will send someone to come and get you," he said turning to leave.
"Thank you Doctor," Vivienne said stopping him and shaking his hand. As he left Martin turned to Samantha.
"You see, I knew he'd be okay," he said pulling her close to him. Sam looked at him as if he was out of his mind.
"Didn't you hear the doctor? He's not out of the woods yet," she said crossly sitting back down. She needed to see Jack. She needed to be close to him.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity a young nurse came and escorted them to the ICU and showed them to Jack's room.
"Only one or two at a time please," she said as she showed them to the door. Samantha walked straight in, not waiting for a discussion about who should go in first. She entered alone and approached the bed hesitantly.
Jack looked just as deathly pale as he had when he was in the ambulance. He was intubated and sedated which would give his body a chance to heal. His left forearm arm was plastered and resting on the bed beside him. A sheet covered his body and hid the abdominal injuries he had suffered from view. A cage protected his shattered leg from the weight of the bed clothes. A unit of plasma hung from the drip stand and gradually flowed into his arm. A cardiac monitor beeped steadily in the background. Samantha drew closer to the head of the bed and took hold of Jack's uninjured right hand. She knew that the team were watching through the window but at that time couldn't have cared less. She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Jack's forehead.
"Come back to me, Jack. Please," she whispered in his ear. "I need you. Your girls need you."
She pulled over a chair and sat down just as Danny came in. He walked up to Jack and then looked over at Sam.
"You know, while we were in the building, I really didn't think he'd make it out of there," he admitted. Sam reached out for his hand. She could see how cut up he was about the whole thing. "I should have gone with him, Sam. He went over to the guys in the van. I should never have let him go alone."
"Danny, this isn't your fault," Sam said to the emotional young agent. "You couldn't have known what they were doing. You did great under the circumstances. You kept him alive long enough to get medical attention. You did great," she said standing up and hugging him. Danny sobbed into her arms finally letting go of the shock and emotion of the experience that he had been holding in. The two agents stayed with Jack for a while until Elena came in and insisted on taking Danny home. He was exhausted so she insiste4ded that he come home with her and rest. Eventually he gave in to the pressure and bid the others goodbye. He made them promise to call him if there was any change in Jack's condition.
Martin and Viv took turns coming in and sitting with Jack. All the while Samantha never left his side. A nurse came in regularly to check his vitals and make notes on his chart. That evening the doctor called by to check on him.
"So, how's our patient doing?" he asked as he entered the room. A tired looking Sam sat up straight and looked up at him as he checked the chart. "Good," he commented as he flicked a page.
"How is he Doctor?" Sam asked nervously.
"As well as can be expected at this stage," he replied. "His B.P. is steady, SATs are good. He's doing fine. We'll have to keep him sedated for the next 48 hours and then we'll see how it goes. You should really go home and get some rest. There's not much you can do here tonight," he suggested.
"I'd rather stay if I could," Sam replied instantly.
"Sure, if you must," he replied. He bid them good night and told them that he'd check in again in the morning.
"Sam, you really should get some rest," Martin said looking at the shattered young woman.
"No, really, I'm fine. I want to stay with him," she insisted. "You two go ahead. I'll be fine."
Despite their best efforts to convince her to go home, Sam stayed in the ICU room for the night. Vivienne had to get home for Reggie and Martin left shortly after her. Sam only left the ICU to get some coffee and a sandwich later that night. When she got back she found that a nurse had left her a pillow and a blanket. She curled up in the chair, pulled the blanket up to her chin and closed her eyes and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
When Vivienne reached home she found comfort with her family after she told them of the day she had. She ate dinner prepared by her husband and then remembered Maria Malone. She took her cell phone and found her number. She called it and it was answered quickly.
"Maria?" Viv asked as a woman answered.
"Yes, Vivienne. How is he?" she asked straight away.
"He came through the surgery and he's in the ICU now. He's still in a critical condition. The doctor said that there's a high risk of infection because of the nature of his injury. They're keeping him sedated for the time being," she explained.
"What are his chances, Viv? I mean should I to take the girls to see him?" Maria wondered.
"I can't answer that, Maria. I wish I could but right now we just don't know," Viv replied.
"Okay. Thank you, Vivienne. I'm going to have to tell them anyway that their Daddy has been hurt. I don't want them seeing it on the news. I'll call you tomorrow," she said sensibly.
After their conversation ended Vivienne hung up and looked over at her son. She certainly didn't envy Maria Malone having to tell her children that their father was in the hospital, let alone seriously injured. She knew the risks involved in her job and had always accepted them as part and parcel of it. She had never looked at it from the angle of those she loved suffering because of that danger. She hugged her son and husband and hoped that they would never be put in that position because of her.
A/N - well, too angsty? Can you take some more? How about some J/S mush? Let me know!!