Jack had been expecting the knock at his door for days when it finally came, but the last person he expected stood behind the door.

"Okay, lecture away," he said.

Janet Fraiser shook her head, looking distinctly uneasy – while their relationship was slowly repairing itself (silently), they both remembered well the dress-down that had gotten them there. And the reason for it. "No lecture. Can I come in?"

He stepped aside to let her pass. "Beer?"

"No, thanks. I've had my fair share of liquid courage today." She perched on the arm of the sofa, and he took a seat across from her. "You know, this is not the life I was supposed to have," she began.

"I think we could all say that," Jack answered.

She shook her head. "That's not what I mean. See, I graduated high school with the love of my life, and we got married that summer."

The colonel looked at her in surprise. She'd been married?

"I got pregnant at nineteen, and I went into pre-term labor at twenty-two weeks – right about where Sam is now. And it's way too early, and the baby didn't make it."

"I'm sorry," Jack said, and he meant it.

"I got really depressed," Janet continued. "And it was really hard on Tom, too, and I wasn't really fair to him. But the stress was too much, and we split. I've lost a lot of things, and seen a lot of things, but losing a child… that pain is unique. And sharp. And it never goes away."

Jack took a long drag of his beer, well aware of what that felt like. And he knew she knew his history.

"It's amazing how attached we were to that… tiny little thing that we had never even seen," she said. "The first time Tom felt him kick, he cried. I'd never seen my husband cry, but he was a goner."

She looked up and held his eyes. "She doesn't understand, Colonel. She's a victim, and part of her still wants this baby to just… disappear. She's still a little emotionally turned off from everything she went through. And we both know that her world is gonna change the first moment she holds that little girl in her arms."

The colonel sighed. "She never has to," he said.

Janet nodded, her suspicious finally confirmed. "No, she doesn't. But she will. I'll make sure of it."

Jack pushed himself to his feet. "And what if that isn't what's best for Carter? She's your friend. She has to be your first priority."

"I think Sam would regret giving her up. Not right away, maybe, but eventually. I think it is what's best."

"I think she has to come to that decision on her own," he argued.

"Did it occur to you that you up and walking away could change that decision for the worse?"

His eyes shot over to hers, and she knew it hadn't.

"The only reason she didn't starve herself to death was you," she pressed. "You've held her together through all of it. Her faith in you is absolute."

"Yeah, well, there's no accounting for taste," Jack muttered.

"Colonel, listen to me. She honestly believes that SG-1 can do anything – overcome any odds. But if you're not there for her to lean on, she will panic. And she will give that little girl up."

He tugged at his hair. "That's a crappy cycle."

"She has an ultrasound tomorrow. You should be there."

"I can't go through that again," he confessed softly.

"She needs you," Janet pressed. And Jack hated that she was right.

~/~

"Something wrong, Janet?" Sam watched her friend absently fiddle with the ultrasound machine.

"No," the doctor told her. "I was just thinking about something else."

"What?"

Janet looked around the empty room and sighed. "Nothing. You ready? This will be a little cold."

"Yeah, sure." Sam shivered a little as the gel hit her exposed stomach and looked over at the monitor. "Okay, maybe I'm not ready," she confessed. "I'm not sure I can see this."

The older woman sighed and perched on the edge of the bed. The last ultrasound they'd done had been very early, and her friend knew that this time it would look like a real baby. "Sam, see it or not, you know it's there."

"I think I made the wrong decision, Janet. I never should've let it go this long. I can't… God, what have I gotten myself into?"

Janet sucked in a breath. This was very, very bad. She didn't think her friend would do it, but legally she still had two weeks… "It's gonna be okay, Sam," she soothed, but her friend just shook her head.

"I should've let him kill me," she whispered, her face in her hands.

The doctor's eyes slid shut. What was she supposed to say to that?

Someone tapped gently on the door, and Colonel O'Neill stepped into the room. "Hey," he said softly.

Sam's head flew up in surprise – she hadn't seen him in over a week. "Hey," she answered, her voice shaky.

"How are my girls, Doc?" He asked the question flippantly, but Janet could tell he didn't mean it that way.

"I don't know. I was just about to check," she said, smiling. She stood, and Jack took her spot on the side of the bed.

"Cool."

"Ready?"

Sam slid her hand over to her CO's and gripped it tightly. "Yeah."