Part Twelve: The Big Event

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.
~Fulton Oursler

"Sweetie, I hope you know how happy I am for you." Jacob squeezed his daughter's arms gently as he looked her up and down, her long beaded gown sparkling in the light.

"I know, Dad," she said softly, but she couldn't meet his eyes.

"Sammie." He pulled her eyes up to his. "Are you happy? Because if this isn't what you want, you can still walk away. It's been a rough time for you. He'll understand."

She shook her head and plastered a smile on her face. "I'm just nervous. I just need ten minutes. Wait – what time is it?"

"Five 'til."

"Okay. Five minutes." She took a deep breath. "I'll see you out there."

Jacob glanced at the women behind her, then stepped out and closed the door behind him. "He's right, Sam," Janet put in. "If something's bothering you…"

"It's not… this. I want to get married," Sam insisted.

"To Colonel O'Neill?" her friend pressed.

"Of course!"

"Then why are you so jumpy?"

"This is gonna sound really stupid, Janet."

"Umm… there are no stupid problems, only stupid things to keep silent?" Cassie spoke up, well aware that that didn't even make sense but trying to ease the tension.

Sam met Janet's eyes and held them. "I'm really afraid," she confessed softly, "that I can't... that tonight…"

The doctor's eyebrows rose. "Cassie, go check with Daniel and make sure they're all ready, okay?"

The young woman suddenly got it, and her face mirrored her mother's, eyes wide. "Wait. You mean you and Uncle Jack haven't… you know… done it?"

"Cassandra, get out!" her mother yelled, and the girl promptly retreated. The bride-to-be sank into a chair, and Janet knelt next to her. "No crying. There is no crying. You're getting married in five minutes, and you're gonna have perfect mascara."

Sam sniffled, but nodded.

"I gotta admit, Sam, I hadn't really considered…"

"I know," she said softly. "It was a year ago. I should be over this."

Janet shook her head. "Sam, you were raped. He really hurt you. There's no timeline for that. Have you talked to the colonel about any of this?"

Mortified, she shook her head. "But I think he knows. Suspects, anyway, and he hasn't pushed the issue. But…"

"But what?"

"It's our wedding night," she said with a shrug, the simple motion belying her true distress. "What if I can't?"

Janet pressed a reassuring hand to her friend's face. "Then he'll understand. And it's one more step to recovery for both of you. Sam, this is Colonel O'Neill we're talking about. He loves you more than life itself. You know he won't push you. All this pressure… you're just making yourself crazy."

Sam blew out a breath. "I just don't want to disappoint him."

"Whatever happens, he'll understand." Janet got to her feet and pulled Sam up as well. "Now, come on. Everyone's waiting for you."